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  • #31
    Re: Gamer

    i'll never watch anything with ludacris attached to it, that right there is the biggest red flag the movie will suck. case in point - Max Payne and Rock n' Rolla.
    One must be fearless and tenacious when pursuing their dreams. If you don't, regret will be your reward.

    The Fiction Story Room

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    • #32
      Re: Gamer

      I was interested to see how they handled this. Some very unfortunate crap. The story was pretty much by the numbers. I was reminded a number of times of The Running Man.

      SMALL SPOILERS

      Two things I'll note. It would have been nice to see some kind of variation in the gameplay. But it was all just run 'n shoot. And it seemed to go on and on. Second, watching Simon control Kable was a real let-down. What the hell was he doing? He was just holding his hands up and sort of looking around. Couldn't they be slightly more creative than that? Make it look like the player is actually controlling something? Lame.

      Castle's sing/dance near the end was awesome.

      And I loved Simon's internet room. I want one.
      Screenwriting is like stripping. You don't just dump your clothes on the floor. You tease as you go. And then you get screwed in a back room for money. - Craig Mazin

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      • #33
        Re: Gamer

        Sorry to resurrect, but I just got round to watching this.... thing and I don't just want my 90 minutes returned... I want my whole life back.

        It occurs to me that, for a screenwriting forum, this hasn't quite received the vitriol it deserves. So here I am chiming in with my two cents.

        It also occurs to me that as I take tentative steps towards the industry, I really should stop these venomous critiques. After all, it's all about the networking and there are whole chapters of books dedicated to how to say a director's turd-bag of a movie is in fact not a turd-bag of a movie while gripping tentatively to what little integrity a screenwriter has left.

        But to be honest, I really don't care and if GAMER is anything to go by, I really don't want Neveldine or Taylor anywhere near my script (yeah, like I can afford to be that picky!)

        This movie is a fail on every level. If, to use a gaming analogy, this movie started out with 3 lives and 5 credits, it lost everyone of them long before Bowser whipped off Mario's overalls and shoved Toads Mushroom melon where the sun don't shine.

        One thing that should be clear by now is that there really are no rules in Sci-fi or future dystopian themes. As long as you justify everything. So in a world where humans can control armed convicts, hit me up with a little pseudo-science and I'm happy as Larry.

        Now that said, did anyone understand Society? I get the Slayer side of the story, but in Society a perfectly normal human can become zombified and suddenly grow ginger hair at the whim of fat man. In that case, why didn't Simon just give Butler an afro and have done with it?

        This may seem like a petty point, but we as writers know you have to justify anything that happens within the universe you create. This is not about vaguaries. It's about establishing the facts that flesh out your world. And that goes for any genre. In that respect, this movie is an epic fail.

        YOu know you're in trouble when the opening scene is a pointless first-person-esque battle sequence followed closely by a "It's not exposition honest." TV interview where the remarkably hammy Michael C Hall plays Castle (think a meglomanical Bill Gates... Well.... Just think Bill Gates). Castle spouts some of that Pseudo-scientific spiel alluded to earlier. Then hits on the female presenter of said TV show with the worst chat-up line in all of human history. To which point a backroom producer utters words along the lines of "Damn. He's Good"

        To which point I scream, alone in my living room "IS HE?....IS HE!" whilst fumbling frantically at the nuts and bolts of my makeshift time machine that'll transport me to a dystopian future where not only all morals have been obliterated, but also the ability to seduce women effectively. In this timezone, I'm thinking "I'll be a god!".

        The time machine doesn't work. Which is a shame because intead I'd set it to 25 minutes ago... cause I'm now at the end of the first act of Gamer and still wondering at what point this isn't a retard's Running Man.

        I've also now decided that the dialogue ain't worth s**t. And by the time I see Society in all it's vibrant f**ked-up glory, I'm now uttery convinced that whoever vomited this anal-rainbow onto my screen did so for a bet. It's certainly the first time I've watched career suicide in such living color.

        From here on in, I'm greeted with every cliche imaginable.

        1. After so many battles, Protag granted full pardon. Check!
        2. Antag can't let Protag have pardon. Check!
        3. Antag uses inmate to try and kill protag. Check!
        4. Inmate threatens protags family outside. Check!
        5. Protag escapes to protect family by peeing in gas tank...... uhhh I'll get back to you.

        This is standard fair, prison movie paint-by-numbers narrative dressed up in a so called high-concept sci-fi, technicolor dream coat.

        If anyone is at all still in doubt, I submit my top 5 reasons this movie should never have been let out for human consumption.

        1. Simon controls Butler with his mind. Butler is sortof zombified...although he can talk. "Wow! He controls him? Like... how. I mean he pulls the trigger, dives, rolls... that kind of stuff... right?" "Uhh....no.... but he can.... look around." "(long pause)......Look around?" "Yeah. He like stands in this 360 degree screen room and like...looks around and stuff." "..............I just got Mario Galaxy 2 on the WII" "ohh sweet. I hear if you twist the remote, Mario moves!"

        Mannn this is a dystopian future. A world where gaming is reduced to glancing and occassionally turning your head. We're even told Butler aims and squeezes the trigger himself. Wow! Slayers sounds fun. The equivalent of Paul McCartney guiding Stevie Wonder to the piano to belt out a slightly delayed rendition of Ebony and Ivory. Due to ping. Whoever she is.

        Everytime I think of this for some reason I'm reminded of Wilder guiding Pryor in See No Evil, Hear No Evil.

        2. I point you to the moment Gamer suddenly became Gaymer (see what I did there) in the most homerotic scene since Iceman air-bit at Maverick before whipping of his towel and S**tboxing him on that makeshift volleyball court. Terry Crew aka Scary Naked Man (that may not have been his character name) meets up with Butler in the locker room. Butler has his back to him, but for all the world it looks like he's pressed himself against the wall and braced for entry. Crews limp-wristedly sings "puppet on a string" while prancing about in the buff!

        "Uhhhh Stewardess. Can you take these headphones and burn them. And my retinas while you're at it."

        And while I'm here, can somebody please tell me why every director insists Terry Crews should take his shirt off.

        3. And cut to sweaty fatman. And cut to sweaty fatman. Ohh I see what you're doing. The old "the woman you're chatting to online may in fat (Originally a typo, but I liked the context) be a 300 lb trucker who recently got through skull-f**king his last victim" Yawn. How over-played is this moral message. And iF I wanted to see a fat man masturbating I'd CCTV Kevin Smith watching Dogma. My idea of entertaining is not watching a man glory-holing a KFC bargain bucket (which doesn't happen, but gives you a glimpse of the full horror of orca fat in 36 inch screen glory)

        4. It's this simple. Society looks STUPID! It just does. It actually looks like a student film at an insane asylumn for Paris Hilton groupies. Literally it's what would happen if you snorted Sunny-Delight and projectile vomited it over a clown convention..... actually that I would have liked to see.

        5. Rick Rape got killed. The only character with any substance.....and that's all you need to hear.

        Bottom line, this is classic Robert Kelly syndrome. Offer complete autonomy, cut out the voice of reason and watch the vomit-drenched clowns tap-dance across the stage to the bewildered silence of the audience.

        M.Night. Kelly.......meet your new champions.

        CUT TO 5 YEARS LATER

        A premiere. Movie poster says: Gamer 5- This Time.....it's monochrome!

        HARBINGER
        What's that Mr. Neveldine? The first
        Gamer? Loved every minute of it.

        Chokes on cocktails pink umbrella.

        HARBINGER
        Particularly all the bright colors.......
        have you got Terry Crews number?


        (VENT OVER)
        Last edited by Harbinger; 02-17-2010, 08:12 AM.

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        • #34
          Re: Gamer

          Harbinger>

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          • #35
            Re: Gamer

            Oh boo hoo! Poor Harbinger, baby wanna cracker, and some whine with that cheese.

            Bad movies are made all the time. Get over it.
            I rock it for Jesus and I'm in love.

            Dreaming the impossible dream, working towards realizing it one day at a time.

            http://johnnyatthemovies.wordpress.com/

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            • #36
              Re: Gamer

              it wasn't even a movie, the second act was non-existent. and the dance number at the end, holy smokes.
              You only get one chance to rewrite it 100 times.

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              • #37
                Re: Gamer

                The script was alright. I didn't go to this, I stayed far, far away from it because I knew it was gonna be bad.

                Harbinger only has himself to blame for watching it. He should vent about how much of a dumb ass he was for watching it.
                I rock it for Jesus and I'm in love.

                Dreaming the impossible dream, working towards realizing it one day at a time.

                http://johnnyatthemovies.wordpress.com/

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                • #38
                  Re: Gamer

                  It was just...weird. Really what were they trying to do... besides grossing us out with the guy eating waffles and syrup while he got off.

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                  • #39
                    Re: Gamer

                    Originally posted by Johnny View Post
                    Oh boo hoo! Poor Harbinger, baby wanna cracker, and some whine with that cheese.

                    Bad movies are made all the time. Get over it.
                    Yup. And this forum is the venue to vent feelings on said bad movies and hopefully prevent any further "Dumb asses" (see above) wandering blindly into the same minefield.

                    What you should understand is that my vitriol is specifically limited to text and only tongue in cheek. I'm hardly frothing enough at the mouth to require these crackers you're refering to. Let alone cheese.

                    That said, as a coincidental side note I am eating Cheese and Chilli pringles as I type this. Just thought I'd share.

                    As it happens I watched this because I tend to get round to watching all movies in the end. This was on my list. Thankfully, it was the same night I watched UP and considered the opening 25 minutes the best first act I've seen in at least a decade (although I did like Wall-Es opening too).

                    I always think you can learn just as much from a bad movie as a good one. Some might say more.... and after watching Gamer I'm now a friggin' genius!

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                    • #40
                      Re: Gamer

                      Haha. Man I was just messin' with you, and picking at you. I'm sorry, I shouldn't do that.
                      I rock it for Jesus and I'm in love.

                      Dreaming the impossible dream, working towards realizing it one day at a time.

                      http://johnnyatthemovies.wordpress.com/

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                      • #41
                        Re: Gamer



                        Harbinger, you have outdone yourself...Best review yet!

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                        • #42
                          Re: Gamer

                          I second and third what harbinger said. It was just sad...

                          There was this really cool idea, and there were very impressive moments in it, but it just was buried by all the MTV A.D.D. cuts, and cuts to the HUGE, OILY Dude, and the SOCIETY god-awfullness and yeah... it was bad.

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