Re: Halloween entries
Here, gentle reader, we must explain that an overworked DDer with no time to edit could not trim his script to the necessary 8 pages before the deadline. It's up to you whether you read the conclusion of NIGHT OF THE PUMPKINS.
Here, gentle reader, we must explain that an overworked DDer with no time to edit could not trim his script to the necessary 8 pages before the deadline. It's up to you whether you read the conclusion of NIGHT OF THE PUMPKINS.
Code:
NIGHT OF THE PUMPKINS continued INT. CROOKED OLD CHURCH - EVENING Billy sits quietly watching as the stained glass loses its gleam. Josh paces, pensively, also keenly watching as the daylight drains away... Billy swivels towards Josh... BILLY What exactly did you see back there in town Josh? JOSH Later, I'm going out for more gear. One hour later. The church is dark and quiet. The windows glow an eerie blue now. A pumpkin FLICKERS on an old table by the churches doors. JOSH (CONT'D) We're going to be up against it if they ever make it out here. BILLY (fixin' Josh) What the heck happened back there Josh? Heavy beat. Josh sits down. JOSH (somber, really taking- his-time) It all began at the Mini-mall and spewed out. I never saw all that... but "Old Joe's Fruit and Veg" shop just, well, they suddenly appeared outside and attacked the customers, people got trampled on... then these crazy pumpkin-type-people went on the rampage, turning over stalls, smashing shop windows, It was mostly all a blur, I ran, got out, like in a dream, then I saw Sammy Traymour on the corner, last time I remember seeing Sammy was in 4th Grade math, now he's got a pumpkin for a head... instead of just a protractor. BILLY It sounds crazy. JOSH (weary) It was. It really was crazy man. The THROATY SOUND of a truck CHANGING GEARS every few seconds... JOSH (CONT'D) Oh what now man? Billy stands up. JOSH (CONT'D) Grab that flashlight. BILLY What you takin'? JOSH This will do I guess! EXT. CROOKED OLD CHURCH - OUT FRONT - MOMENTS LATER A WHITE VAN scorches through the gravel and skids to a halt... an old security lamp WINKS ON and for a moment the van glows like an angel. Josh timidly pushes open the large oak doors and barrels out until he's standing square on to the truck. He carefully aims the rifle. JOSH (timidly, harsh whisper) Who's out there? TROY Don't shoot man! INT. OLD CHURCH - FRONT OF PEWS - MOMENTS LATER Troy pacing, hiding under his ORANGE PEAK CAP, occasionally he flashes a worried look at the others. TROY How is that possible? I mean... pumpkins... for heads? JOSH Somebody must know? I thought pumpkins were meant to protect us, warn-off demons and s**t? TROY (to himself) I don't know. I just- BILLY I don't know exactly how I know this but I just do. They're taking some kind of revenge.... it's something we've all done? TROY (nervous-as-hell) Such as? BILLY I don't know. I thought you were supposed to know about pumpkins? Billy sniffs. BILLY (CONT'D) What could be behind all this Troy? Troy flashes them both an awkward glance. JOSH What is it Troy? You know something? Troy moves swiftly away. TROY It's ridiculous but- BILLY What is it Troy? TROY I never thought it could come to this? JOSH Tell us... what-do-you-know? TROY It was so expensive... the growers just wanted too much, continually pushing up prices... BILLY Come on Troy! We're fast running out of time! TROY Okay. This isn't easy. It began a year ago. I was taking pumpkins out of town dumps... (pauses, watchin' for a reaction...) the day after Halloween... and pureeing them. Silence. JOSH Jeez... TROY It was easy, nobody cared man! JOSH Where and when exactly were you doing this Troy? TROY I had workers in other states at our sister businesses doing multiple shifts for two days, early mornings, mostly. BILLY S**t, they are taking revenge. (mumbling to himself) They have all that evil... all the evil that visits every doorstep on Halloween night absorbed into 'em. That's how they repel evil. TROY (overhearing; to Billy) How's that? JOSH Listen! Pumpkins have been protecting us for like hundreds of years, we've just forgotten that's all! Billy's eyes widen. JOSH (CONT'D) We slowly turned 'em into a joke, a Jack O' Lantern joke, it's not just a doorstep decoration, all this time they were keeping us safe! BILLY That's it. Troy, your puree... it's like... possessed. Heavy beat. TROY (indignant,) That's... absurd!! Silence. JOSH You did it dude... you turned people into evil pumpkin-men and women by feeding them your damn vitamin drink! BILLY ... and all for a buck. TROY Not everybody...okay, so lots of people drink my puree. But- BILLY (to himself) Evil puree in a tin, who'd have guessed it would lead to Pumpkin... Zombies? Josh moves away. JOSH (thinking out loud) Too much of a mouthful... we must find a really cool name for them? TROY I never knew. I really didn't. Never, I - Josh pacing in deep reflection, his eyes faintly crazed and aglow as he watches the pumpkin flicker in the corner. JOSH (trying combo's) Zombie ...Pumpkin... Zombie... Zom... Pump... Pump-Monster... Josh kicks the floor. JOSH (CONT'D) No...too corny... Pump-Zombies... no ... no good... Zomps...yes... "the ZOMPS!!!" Billy hears. BILLY What's that Josh? JOSH "Zomps" ha ha ... "the Zomps!" BILLY Is it really necessary to name them? Troy sits down on a pew. Calmer. Josh spins around. JOSH Listen... every new fiend, zombie... ghost, ghoul ... needs a name! TROY It sounds pretty cool. Billy wanders off. JOSH ZOMPS!!!! BILLY Okay, we get it Josh. TROY (nervous-as-hell) No... look... over by the church doors... we've unwittingly let them in! Panicked fumbling for WEAPONS and TOOLS, confusion abounds... Josh prematurely unloads his rifle at the ZOMP framing the church door... it appears to be what was once Mr McGregor, the Scottish butcher, and he's still got that damn MEAT CLEAVER dangling by his side, the bullets do nothing, passing through with a squelch, a glancing head shot, nothing, the ZOMP closing, steady in his tracks, Billy is frozen, terrified. WHEN... WHAAAAAAACK!!! The ZOMP collapses... onto its knees... and then tumbles on its face. Troy standing over it... grinning as he calmly withdraws an iron spike from the body... yellow ooze begins to bubble-up out of the ZOMP... but it's still twitching... when Josh steps in and CLEAVES the ZOMP'S head in half with an entrenching tool. JOSH Okay... so at least we now know how to kill them. BILLY You just slaughtered Mr McGregor! JOSH So what? Listen ... that can't be it... there must be more of them? Groans and other WEIRD NOISES echo around the fringes of the church. BILLY (to Josh) You're actually enjoying this. JOSH Billy, it's not like that, I, I just... damn, THEY'RE HERE!!! MONTAGE/SLO-MO/WEIRD VISUALS Josh slides in two extra rounds... the church slowly fills up with a grey smoke during this poorly blocked out scene... a BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM from somewhere... Josh shouts from somewhere within the smoke "we got ZOMPS in the wire!!!"... as we momentarily glimpse Billy fighting a ZOMP over a pew ... the ZOMP has him by his long lank hair and is pulling him around in circles ... Josh arrives and swings low and upward with his gleaming trench spade... cleaving the ZOMPs head in two. Now on Billy as he runs around the church SCREAMING in mock terror... a ZOMP, it's what was once Deputy Wallace ... on his tail ... the ZOMP nearly on him but it slips in some pumpkin ooze... Billy sees his chance and grabs a PICKAXE out of the pile and on the turn drives it straight into the ZOMPS face ... the SPLAAAAAAT gives way to a pause... as Billy stares down he suddenly feels empowered ... however ... less of that ... Troy now up on the altar ... (the smoke machine is out of control by now, it's flooding out the scene...) as he grabs the large GOLD BRASS BIRD and raising it above his head brings it down with a spine-chilling SPLAAAAAAT! Pumpkin seeds and ooze spray the camera. A hand appears and wipes it over. CUT TO: SUPER: The Day After, Halloween... INT. CROOKED OLD CHURCH - DAWN HEAVY MIST drifts under the church door (a hand hastily withdraws the intruding nozzle of a smoke machine... ) as we pan around. Pews turned over... limply lying inside one pew Billy is spread flat out... is he dead? Troy is curled up by the altar still clutching onto the brass bird... Where is Josh? Suddenly, a ZOMP sits upright... Josh appears from under the SQUELCHING pumpkin head ... he immediately begins wiping his Hawaiian shirt down in disgust, picking off chunks of pumpkin and yellow ooze... Troy opens his eyes, Billy begins to stir... EXT. TOWN DUMP - MIDDAY THREE SMUG HEROES sit quietly in Josh's FLAME ORANGE WAGON listening serenely to "Born in the USA". Slowly, almost reverentially, they alight... hopping down a steep slippery bank deposited with the waste-product of shattered pumpkins. JOSH That was it dudes... the first ever Pumpkin-uprising. (tipping his head down) Or is that Apocalypse, (nervously,) Which sounds better guys? Billy sighs. JOSH (CONT'D) (Eric Cartman voice,) Will we ever see another one in our lifetime? Amen. The other two shoot him a short weird glance and grudgingly acquiesce! A SHORT DISTANCE AWAY... The GROAN of a GARBAGE TRUCK unloading pumpkins, the familiar tumbling, rolling, ooze-flowing spectacle is already underway... BACK ON THE GANG Billy opens out his WHITE SHEET to reveal a PUMPKIN... now blackened about the eyes... He exhales deeply and lets it roll down into the dump where it joins an ANONYMOUS HEAP. BILLY 'til next year. JOSH/TROY Yeah. BILLY Maybe it did protect us, after all? They turn in silent union and retreat. We remain... a wind strikes up and a few leaves scatter as we search for the pumpkin... quickly panning amidst the split garbage sacks, scooting over disposable vampire capes... discarded cheap plastic Halloween masks, until we suddenly notice a... SMASH TO BLACK OVER LOUD MUSIC. [end]
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