Phone calls

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  • Phone calls

    Hi guys, quick question.

    I want to show caller ID on a phone.

    At the moment I've written it like this.

    - Jack looks at his phone: Charlie.

    I'm sure there's a better way to write it though yes?

  • #2
    Re: Phone calls

    Well, I might put "Charlie" in quotes. Maybe "It reads 'Charlie'". Readers ought to figure out what you're trying to say.

    But a purist would spell it out with an INSERT (the inanimate version of CLOSE-UP). So:

    Jack looks at his phone.

    INSERT - DISPLAY READS "CHARLIE"

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Phone calls

      Thank you very much for your help

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Phone calls

        Originally posted by Syringe View Post
        I want to show caller ID on a phone.

        At the moment I've written it like this.

        - Jack looks at his phone: Charlie.
        I would just write...

        Code:
        Jack checks his phone. Missed call from Charlie.
        Yeah, technically that's telling, not showing, but everyone will immediately "see" what's happening.
        Last edited by Centos; 07-23-2019, 04:15 PM.
        STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Phone calls

          Originally posted by Syringe View Post
          Hi guys, quick question.

          I want to show caller ID on a phone.

          At the moment I've written it like this.

          - Jack looks at his phone: Charlie.

          I'm sure there's a better way to write it though yes?
          this is clear enough.

          you could do an insert shot, but it doesn't seem necessary.

          catcon has a good point. to draw attention to it, i would either do all caps or quotes, but not both. they are two ways to do the same thing.

          ON PHONE: CHARLIE
          PHONE DISPLAY: CHARLIE

          Jack checks his phone: CHARLIE
          or
          Jack checks his phone: "Charlie"

          don't think you need punctuation with the quotation marks. your pick. use the one that is simple and clear. i do all caps.
          "Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy b/c you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say." -- Edward Snowden

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Phone calls

            Or you could just have him say: "Damn Skype -- I wonder who the hell that was?"
            "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Phone calls

              Originally posted by StoryWriter View Post
              Or you could just have him say: "Damn Skype -- I wonder who the hell that was?"
              Someone else doesn't like Skype, I gather.
              STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Phone calls

                Originally posted by Centos View Post
                Someone else doesn't like Skype, I gather.
                Oh, well, it couldn't be because we're replacing phone systems that actually work with crap that doesn't. Nooooooo... that can't be it.

                Here's my day:

                "My Skype won't dial out." "People can't call my Skype number." "I can call out, but I can't receive calls on my Skype." "Conference calls don't work on Skype." "Skype is crap, want my old phone back." "Skype won't forward." "Skype's voicemail doesn't work." "Skype almost works on every other call." "My Skype dial pad vanished off my computer." "Skype is sh*t, I don't want it." "Skype is junk, I don't want it." "Skype sucks, I don't want it." "Skype..." problems on and on, all day long.

                Microsoft's response. (Thumb up tail.) "Sounds like everything is working out great! The cost of licences is going up again." Pay up, or the crap you're buying from us, that's not working, won't work any more."
                "I just couldn't live in a world without me."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Phone calls

                  Originally posted by StoryWriter View Post
                  Oh, well, it couldn't be because we're replacing phone systems that actually work with crap that doesn't. Nooooooo... that can't be it.

                  Here's my day:

                  "My Skype won't dial out." "People can't call my Skype number." "I can call out, but I can't receive calls on my Skype." "Conference calls don't work on Skype." "Skype is crap, want my old phone back." "Skype won't forward." "Skype's voicemail doesn't work." "Skype almost works on every other call." "My Skype dial pad vanished off my computer." "Skype is sh*t, I don't want it." "Skype is junk, I don't want it." "Skype sucks, I don't want it." "Skype..." problems on and on, all day long.

                  Microsoft's response. (Thumb up tail.) "Sounds like everything is working out great! The cost of licences is going up again." Pay up, or the crap you're buying from us, that's not working, won't work any more."
                  So... it looks like you're claiming that Skype doesn't always work as advertised. Is that a fair assessment of your position?
                  STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Phone calls

                    What about texts on a cellphone?

                    I currently have

                    -

                    INSERT - CELLPHONE SCREEN

                    Text

                    -

                    Could it be condensed?

                    INSERT - CELLPHONE SCREEN: Text

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Phone calls

                      Originally posted by Merrick View Post

                      INSERT - CELLPHONE SCREEN: Text
                      I write it like that. No one's said "WRONG!"

                      If you have to drop the actual text down a line in order for it to fit the page, the text is probably too long for an audience to read in a shot, IMO.
                      Bruh, fukkin *smooches*! Feel me? Ha!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Phone calls

                        Perfect, thanks! I have a handful of these in my script and hated how they were laid out. This is much better. All the texts are very short.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Phone calls

                          just be consistent with your writing style so a reader can understand what you're trying to convey

                          INT. PRISON YARD - CONT'

                          Apple walks the yard with Fatty and Jester...

                          They group moves from the weight benches across the yard to

                          BASKET BALL COURTS ... they hover around the outside of the court and watch the game.

                          BING -- SOUND OF TEXT MESSAGE

                          BALLERS STOP and turn to the group -- Apple looks down for a second, then at Fatty... everyone turns to Fatty

                          Apple give him a shove, that knocks him back

                          APPLE
                          you holding out on us? Where's the phone? You eat it?

                          Jester
                          Bet you it's in his ass by now...

                          Fatty shoves Jester

                          FATTY
                          Looking for an excuse to get in my ass?

                          Jester puts his ear up to Fatty's butt and pretends to make a phone call

                          JESTER
                          Hello mom? Where am I calling from? Weeeelllll....

                          EVERYONE LAUGHS... then goes back to what they were doing

                          INT. APPLE'S PRISON CELL - LATER

                          Apple sits on the toilet -- FART -- PLOP of a turd hitting water... Apple GRUNTS loudly and a HUGE SPLASH

                          Jester stands up

                          JESTER
                          I'm leaving man, be back in a bit.

                          Apple watches him leave and

                          BING -- SOUND OF TEXT MESSAGE

                          He reaches down between his legs

                          -- Pulls out a large bag covered in feces

                          and quickly places it into the sink and washes it off, dries his hands and takes out the cell phone. He hits the button and the phone comes alive...

                          THREE TEXTS liter down the screen
                          BM: 9!!CALL ME!
                          BM: WE GOT A SNITCH! CALL ME!
                          BM: GET THAT PHONE OUT OF
                          YOUR ASS AND CALL ME NOW!
                          Ricky Slade: Listen to me, I intentionally make this gun look that way because I am smart.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Phone calls

                            nothing wrong with challenging the conventions...

                            Damon Lindelof uses right justification and left justification for texts in one of his specs, looks cool. just like a text. i've even seen a text as a dialogue.

                            i don't waste lines if i can avoid it.

                            Code:
                            TEXT BUBBLES APPEAR:
                            
                            
                            ME: hey dude sup?
                            				       nothin : HER
                            
                            ME: wanna hook up?
                            				 go pound sand: HER
                            
                            ME: what’s your problem, Kim
                            
                            			        this isn’t Kim: HER
                            
                            ME: ...
                            another thought might be to center them on the page with a new tab setting. i might try that.
                            "Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy b/c you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say." -- Edward Snowden

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Phone calls

                              You can also use it like (OS) or (VO) and write (TEXT) next to character name and maybe put text in Italics.



                              MAX (TEXT)
                              Hey what's going on?

                              CHARLIE (TEXT)
                              Nothing man... just chilling.

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