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Old 10-27-2019, 06:46 PM   #1
Congo326
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Join Date: Oct 2019
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Default Looking for an agent

I have a television drama series pilot script and would like to get in touch with an agent to help me take it to the next level.

Logline:

Marcus faces struggles with juggling his school life, love life and his street life. He faces violence and gangs in his own neighborhood and faces racial conflicts at his school.

Synopsis/Details:

Marcus lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Him and his best friend, Jeremy, are low key drug dealers. Marcus has to come home everyday day to face his drug addict mother and help her in anyway he can. Seeing his mother like this makes him constantly rethink the life he is currently living. He knows deep down he is better than a drug dealer.

One day while walking down the street, Marcus and his best friend Jeremy have a run in with some other gentlemen. Jeremy is gunned down and Marcus is left severely beaten. Detectives continuously question Marcus hoping he can help them solve the murder but to their bad news, someone else takes matter into his own hands.

One day at school Marcus meets a beautiful white girl named Alecia. He plays shy until she decides to come up to him and speak eith him. They meet up a few times after school and hit it off. Alecias ex boyfriend Ricky doesn’t like that at all. Ricky is a tough shite street kid that always seems to get into trouble. He confronts Marcus a couple of times and they end up in a fight. Now Marcus has an ex boyfriend of his current girlfriend after him, peers are talking behind his and Alecias backs, Marcus is nervous knowing soon he will have to meet Alecias parents, anxiety starts building in Marcus due to these struggles.

One night while sitting at home some people pull up in a car outside of his house and shoots the place up. Marcus survives without a scratch but doesn’t know who it was. He’s not even sure if he’ll ever find out.

Last edited by Done Deal Pro : 10-27-2019 at 07:12 PM. Reason: Spacing and layout
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Old 10-27-2019, 11:04 PM   #2
Vango
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Default Re: Looking for an agent

Just some thoughts:

I'm not understanding the hook of this show. What is keeping me engaged? It is a good depiction of urban life, but I think it starts to get a little boring when the girl and her ex-boyfriend are brought into the picture.

Originally I was getting vibes of Requiem for Dream and perhaps The Wire in your first paragraph.

Then in the second paragraph, I thought "maybe this kid is about to be a mole now a la The Departed."

After the next paragraph, that's when the excitement stopped for me. It did not go in either or those two directions and became more of a common story about racial conflicts, which have been getting overdone of late imo.

I like the track you are on though. Best of luck with the agent submission. Make sure your pilot is 100% ready to go before you submit, because a first impression dictates everything. And you're going up against the best writers in the world.

You can find agent information online or you can also cold call places and speak to assistants and can persuade them to read your work.
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Old 10-28-2019, 07:15 AM   #3
Congo326
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Default Re: Looking for an agent

Thank you for the feedback. I do need to work on my synopsis a bit. The pilot script is ready for action.
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Old 10-28-2019, 08:56 AM   #4
Satriales
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Default Re: Looking for an agent

IMO, this will not get an agent interested even with a more compelling logline.
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Old 10-28-2019, 10:15 AM   #5
JS90
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Default Re: Looking for an agent

TV guy here. I’m not sure what makes this a series and not a movie. And even if it was a movie, what is the hook? Would also help to know what the genre is.

I’d move this over to the logline section of the forum and get some help workshopping it.

Also worth noting that the common wisdom for new writers is “manager before agent”. And to get a manager you should have at least 3 good scripts. Do you have two other good pieces of writing?
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Old 10-28-2019, 10:35 AM   #6
Satriales
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Default Re: Looking for an agent

Strong disagree on the three good scripts thing. Maybe have three good ideas ready to go. And of course this will vary from manager to manager but I had no problems getting offers to rep based off of one read.
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Old 10-28-2019, 10:53 AM   #7
JS90
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Default Re: Looking for an agent

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satriales View Post
Strong disagree on the three good scripts thing. Maybe have three good ideas ready to go. And of course this will vary from manager to manager but I had no problems getting offers to rep based off of one read.
Sure, it's definitely not a hard rule. In fact, I'll slightly amend my last statement. OP should have at least 2 good script samples. They may not even need to show the second one. BUT if an agent or a manager likes the first pilot and does request one more sample, OP is gonna look really bad if they can't offer up at least one more good script.

But I also asked that initial question because if OP doesn't have any other scripts besides this one, I personally don't think they're ready for representation yet.
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Old 10-28-2019, 02:14 PM   #8
Congo326
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Default Re: Looking for an agent

Thanks for the feedback. The genre is in the post. It’s a drama series about an African American teen that is involved in drugs and gangs. His friend gets gunned down and he ends up getting in a relationship with a popular preppy white girl. He struggles between his street life and wanting to go straight. His new girlfriend’s ex is jealous of his new relationship with Alecia and wants revenge. He also has to deal with his junkie mother. There’s a lot of stories involved in this series hence the title “Inner-City Tales”.
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Old 10-28-2019, 02:17 PM   #9
Congo326
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Default Re: Looking for an agent

I would upload my script but I can only post a link since I’m using an iPhone and can’t use the CODE process. Also, yes I am currently working on 2 full feature psychological thriller/horror scripts.
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Old 10-28-2019, 02:24 PM   #10
Congo326
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Default Re: Looking for an agent

The hook is how life is and struggles with living in the Inner-City.
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