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Old 11-07-2015, 04:04 PM   #1
Mpimentel
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Default Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

Just a random question...

Is it harder for creative minds to have real friends?

I mean, most of my life I've lived it inside my head... I see magical scenes of people doing so many amazing things, so many tragedies and so many beautiful moments...

You think I really care about your kid getting a 90 on his test scores when I just imagined a serial killer decapitating a hot 19 year old?

Am I alone on this?

When people show me things that they think are great, I smile, but in my head, I've seen greater, and as a creative mind what I see in my head is just as good as reality, I see the same detail in my head, if not more...

I feel what I imagine, nothing in this world could be greater.

The friends I have around now, are people that literally come to me, because I'm different to them, I seek no one, I yearn for no one... I can live it all in my head...

Do you get me?
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Last edited by Mpimentel : 11-12-2015 at 02:38 PM.
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Old 11-11-2015, 09:36 PM   #2
Joaneasley
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Default Re: Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

Sure, creative people can have real friends if they want them. To have them, we must decide that certain other people are worth our time, worth caring about, worth listening to about what matters to them, even if it some of it seems mundane.

To have real friends, we need to believe that certain real people are as valuable or more valuable than the special characters who inhabit our imaginations. I love living with the characters in my head, but they don't live in my world, they live in their own world that I just get to visit.

It's the live people in my life with whom I want to share my joys and sorrows, as they share theirs with me. It's a bargain many of us are happy to make and would feel bereft without. Parts of everyone's life are mundane and sometimes troubling. My friends are the people I can talk to about what's going right with me and what's going wrong. We're there to help each other get through things, and to make the things we do together more fun than doing them alone. Maybe not everyone needs that, or wants that, but it's not impossible for creative people to have it if they do want it.
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Old 11-12-2015, 12:35 AM   #3
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Default Re: Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

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Originally Posted by Joaneasley View Post
Sure, creative people can have real friends if they want them. To have them, we must decide that certain other people are worth our time, worth caring about, worth listening to about what matters to them, even if it some of it seems mundane.

To have real friends, we need to believe that certain real people are as valuable or more valuable than the special characters who inhabit our imaginations. I love living with the characters in my head, but they don't live in my world, they live in their own world that I just get to visit.

It's the live people in my life with whom I want to share my joys and sorrows, as they share theirs with me. It's a bargain many of us are happy to make and would feel bereft without. Parts of everyone's life are mundane and sometimes troubling. My friends are the people I can talk to about what's going right with me and what's going wrong. We're there to help each other get through things, and to make the things we do together more fun than doing them alone. Maybe not everyone needs that, or wants that, but it's not impossible for creative people to have it if they do want it.
I guarantee you that the best writers have real friends and go out and have real experiences outside of writing. The best writers are the ones who aren't thinking about it day and night, but living a full life beyond their job, giving them a full range of life experience to draw on, making them ever better writers.

How many of them use things they see and feel and live outside their jobs in their scripts? All of them. How many of them get their best ideas from these same things? All of them. To write about human experience, even the worst human experience, you need to go out and be human. Live. Love. Travel. Make friends. Soak in life. You can't do that living inside your head and self-limiting your creativity.

Plus, a huge part of this job is being able to work with, partner with, cooperate with, compromise with.... other people. Writing a great script is just part of a screenwriter's job. Building solid relationships with the people who would make your films or TV are just as important. You can't do that living inside your head either.
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Old 11-12-2015, 08:17 AM   #4
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Default Re: Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

Interesting topic and I can appreciate what everyone has said in their posts. Many creative people tend to be introverts. And the older I get, the more intolerant I become of many people who are self-absorbed with a lack of any empathy. It makes me want to limit my social interaction to just a few close friends. And, of course, my wife, daughter and dogs come first of all.

With that said, a good writer, as someone pointed out, does have to get out and experience life and people. But don't force yourself -- and stay in your comfort zone.

By the way, I just saw a really interesting documentary called MISERY LOVES COMEDY. Some very famous stand-up comedians are interviewed about their lives and where their comedy comes from. Most of them were outcasts/loners growing up and their comedy does indeed come from a place of misery and pain. I believe that's true of many writers (and actors, etc.).
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Old 11-13-2015, 11:43 AM   #5
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Default Re: Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

That you're limited in your craft to what you've seen in movies or read in books isn't so bad, there's a lot of place for skillful recycling, I imagine, and not everyone has to be a second Herzog.

Consider carefully if you're not damaging your career, though. I think it's no coincidence that my career got a kick start just as my therapy resulted in me opening to people, trying to be nice and friendly and not a snotty artiste.
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Old 11-19-2015, 12:22 PM   #6
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Default Re: Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pasquali56 View Post
Interesting topic and I can appreciate what everyone has said in their posts. Many creative people tend to be introverts. And the older I get, the more intolerant I become of many people who are self-absorbed with a lack of any empathy. It makes me want to limit my social interaction to just a few close friends. And, of course, my wife, daughter and dogs come first of all.

With that said, a good writer, as someone pointed out, does have to get out and experience life and people. But don't force yourself -- and stay in your comfort zone.

By the way, I just saw a really interesting documentary called MISERY LOVES COMEDY. Some very famous stand-up comedians are interviewed about their lives and where their comedy comes from. Most of them were outcasts/loners growing up and their comedy does indeed come from a place of misery and pain. I believe that's true of many writers (and actors, etc.).
What he said.
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Old 11-25-2015, 05:26 PM   #7
Mpimentel
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Default Re: Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

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Originally Posted by goldmund View Post
That you're limited in your craft to what you've seen in movies or read in books isn't so bad, there's a lot of place for skillful recycling, I imagine, and not everyone has to be a second Herzog.

Consider carefully if you're not damaging your career, though. I think it's no coincidence that my career got a kick start just as my therapy resulted in me opening to people, trying to be nice and friendly and not a snotty artiste.

As far as your first point, not having done it does not mean unable to imagine it... Unless you suggest I go to Mars before I can write about it, a creative mind is capable of creating...

As far as the second point, I am not sure if I come off as snotty, I would hope not, what I mean is this, I honestly have no cellphone... I have no need for one, I will never call anyone and when people used to call me I never picked up... I don;t mean if I saw someone I would curse them out for trying to talk to me, I just had/have very little interest in:

"went to work, my boss is such a douche, my kid got an A, traffic was bad,bills, got a new car/cat/whatever, OMG holiday season, same January 1st 'hey i just saw you last year' jokes.."

But anyway I'm glad therapy helped, I'm sure I could benefit from some real therapy.

I don;t even call/visit my mom.. and she lives 15 mins from me... Literally 3-14 months go by where unless she shows up unannounced I don't hear from her, and it sounds soooo bad... But what could I possibly talk to her about without being non genuine? I mean anyone, my Grandma, Dad... Like, what I have to say is not real, what they have to say is mundane.

Dude that sounds so bad typing it.
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Old 11-30-2015, 04:36 PM   #8
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Default Re: Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

Remember if it weren't for your mom, you wouldn't exist.

Your lack of empathy for fellow human beings is disturbing.

But good luck to you.
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Old 11-30-2015, 06:01 PM   #9
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Default Re: Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mpimentel View Post
Just a random question...

Is it harder for creative minds to have real friends?
Seriously? How about this, is it harder for creative people to have real friends because real friends deal with actual lives and writers spend their time playing "make believe?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mpimentel View Post
You think I really care about your kid getting a 90 on his test scores when I just imagined a serial killer decapitating a hot 19 year old?
So you can't care for a kid's real accomplishment because you're too busy saving a "hot 19 year old" that only exists in your mind and you put in danger just so you could save? Man, why hasn't the president given you a medal yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mpimentel View Post
When people show me things that they think are great, I smile, but in my head, I've seen greater, and as a creative mind what I see in my head is just as good as reality, I see the same detail in my head, if not more...
"I can't care about what you're saying because my thoughts are way more interesting." That's a narcissist.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mpimentel View Post
The friends I have around now, are people that literally come to me, because I'm different to them, I seek no one, I yearn for no one... I can live it all in my head...
I feel like this will be a self correcting problem because if you can't show the simplest interest in other people, you won't have a lot of friends to "put up with" anyway.
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Old 11-30-2015, 10:08 PM   #10
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Default Re: Being a creative mind and still caring for the mundane.....

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Originally Posted by UnequalProductions View Post
"I can't care about what you're saying because my thoughts are way more interesting." That's a narcissist.
Actually, narcissists tend to be obsessed with other people's thoughts and opinions, as they demand non-stop attention and validation from everyone around them. This is a habit that usually stunts the development of their inner life. They often pass for "normal" because they're capable of very superficial friendliness, but their relationships are chronically shallow.

I myself tend to get lost in my head, and in the past I've have had trouble with aimless small talk of the sort that allows one to seem like a reasonably agreeable person. I've gotten better at that in recent years, though. Learning how to turn on the charm for brief spurts isn't really that hard, and it will go a long way toward improving interpersonal relationships.
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