I'm a little baffled. As some of you know, I'm in a writing group where I have a group of very talented actors cold read our stuff. It's invaluable - really getting a chance to see how things sound, rather than just how they read.
So I'm experimenting with a comedy - not usually my thing - and I didn't have a ton of time and just bashed out some pages and brought them in. They killed.
Awesome. It's fun when you try to write something funny and people really laugh.
But ...
Looking back at the pages, I found myself surprised at some of the jokes that killed. For example, this exchange:
And what I find fascinating is that I think the joke is almost invisible on the page. Do you see it?
I don't expect it to be terribly funny absent context, but I'm not sure you can even see where the joke is supposed to be.
In any event it's sloppy, first draft stuff, but the actor found it and nailed it.
But ...
Is somebody reading this who isn't an actor even going to see it? Are they going to know that there's a joke there at all, much less the best one in the scene?
So I figure I could set it up like so:
Throw a line of action in there to break away the rest of Chuck's line, and I think everybody can at least see the joke, right? Or maybe even go forward and give him an action that's less arbitrary (just made that one up off the top of my head) that has him shoving her out the door to go with his "I don't mean to rush you" line - but that makes it much much broader than I want it to be.
Again, not expecting it to be funny absent context, and not worried about that, but you can at least see where the joke is now, right? This was nowhere near the funniest joke on the page but it got the biggest laugh of anything. And without a little coaxing, it's almost invisible on the page.
So my question is: how much do you do this with your jokes? How much do you break dialog lines with actions just for the point of providing space for the jokes, to call attention to them? How much do you think this is necessary?
I'd love to see examples from how other writers handle this sort of thing with jokes that aren't necessarily the most obvious jokes in the world.
So I'm experimenting with a comedy - not usually my thing - and I didn't have a ton of time and just bashed out some pages and brought them in. They killed.
Awesome. It's fun when you try to write something funny and people really laugh.
But ...
Looking back at the pages, I found myself surprised at some of the jokes that killed. For example, this exchange:
Code:
RACHEL I can't jump. CHUCK Yes you can. And I don't mean to rush you, but you need to do it now. I'll slow us down and stall it, it'll just be a 30 foot drop.
I don't expect it to be terribly funny absent context, but I'm not sure you can even see where the joke is supposed to be.
In any event it's sloppy, first draft stuff, but the actor found it and nailed it.
But ...
Is somebody reading this who isn't an actor even going to see it? Are they going to know that there's a joke there at all, much less the best one in the scene?
So I figure I could set it up like so:
Code:
RACHEL I can't jump. CHUCK Yes you can. And I don't mean to rush you, but you need to do it now. She starts losing it. CHUCK I'll slow us down and stall it, it'll just be a 30 foot drop.
Again, not expecting it to be funny absent context, and not worried about that, but you can at least see where the joke is now, right? This was nowhere near the funniest joke on the page but it got the biggest laugh of anything. And without a little coaxing, it's almost invisible on the page.
So my question is: how much do you do this with your jokes? How much do you break dialog lines with actions just for the point of providing space for the jokes, to call attention to them? How much do you think this is necessary?
I'd love to see examples from how other writers handle this sort of thing with jokes that aren't necessarily the most obvious jokes in the world.
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