Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

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  • #76
    Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

    Centos, I liked your example with the "ing" verbs. It flowed and sounded well. It had a nice rhythm to it. Sort of like my "picnic" example in a previous post.

    Your original post of this thread was more focused on the present progressive tense form of writing, which you complained about someone telling you to use "sits" instead of "is sitting."

    You said you wanted to express an action "continuing," thus the reason why you insisted that present progressive tense form was needed.

    I agree in some, very few, situations this form of writing would be needed, but overall, no.

    To demonstrate what I'm talking about I'll use your own example that you were so happy with:

    "Bob and Tom circle each other, feinting -- trying to find an opening."

    -- Bob and Tom's action is continuing, but you found it not necessary to use the present progressive tense form of writing by using the "to be" verb "are" to express this: Bob and Tom are circling each other...

    So, I think you can finally agree that you don't necessary need to use the present progressive tense style of writing to express a "continuing" action.

    Centos, I'll be using your example in the future along with my "picnic" example to demonstrate times where using an "ing" verb would be cool.

    Comment


    • #77
      Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

      Originally posted by Biohazard View Post
      Where is the conflict in seeing a guy sitting at a desk? That's boring. I'm bored just reading that line.
      In a situation like this, I cheat by writing sentences in which the reader's mind fills in the obvious blanks giving me the opportunity to add other details.

      INT. JOHN'S OFFICE

      At his computer, John types frantically, sweat on his brow, eyes trained on the screen. The phone rings - he ignores it.

      You say "office" in the slug and the reader assumes there's a desk and chair. You say someone is at their computer, there's an assumption the computer is on the desk and the person is in the chair.

      Certain visuals are a given. If a slug says "INT. MOVING CAR," and there is only one character in the car, I don't have to waste time saying "John drives" or "John is driving." Instead, I can describe what state John is in:

      INT. MOVING CAR

      John downs the last of his coffee and struggles to stay awake.

      I'm certain the reader understands John is driving while this goes on.

      As for -ing verbs, Tony Gilroy uses them and his action lines are often more compelling as a result.
      Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

      Comment


      • #78
        Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

        As for the debate on someone sitting at a desk, my opinion is this:

        Film is a visual medium, so whenever possible, I suggest that you strive to have your characters up and about in stimulating locations, but if a scene requires your character to be sitting at a desk, which I have found was needed in some of my stories, then that's how you write it.

        Whatever works for your story.

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        • #79
          Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

          Originally posted by billmarq View Post
          Bill sits at his desk, wondering what to say.

          Smiling to himself, he says nothing, for that is the proper course.
          That was actually a description of myself at the time I wrote it, in an attempt at a little humour, while at the same time showing that an "ing" word works sometimes.

          Okay - in describing a fist fight, no screenwriter should say, "JOHN is punched in the face by JILL." (PASSIVE) That is a given. It is much better to say "JILL punches JOHN in the face." (ACTIVE)

          Some verbs, though, like "think," ones that have no object, may not need to be active.

          My only problem with discussions such as this one is that some people are inflexible and refuse to accept the idea that there is no one correct way to do everything. I tend to unconsciously use a few passive verbs in my first drafts. Most, but not necessarily all of them dissappear in a rewrite.

          The main question any writer should ask himself is, "Does the writing flow smoothly?"

          Just an opinion.
          We're making a movie here, not a film! - Kit Ramsey

          Comment


          • #80
            Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

            Originally posted by JoeNYC View Post
            Centos, I liked your example with the "ing" verbs. It flowed and sounded well. It had a nice rhythm to it. Sort of like my "picnic" example in a previous post.

            Your original post of this thread was more focused on the present progressive tense form of writing, which you complained about someone telling you to use "sits" instead of "is sitting."

            You said you wanted to express an action "continuing," thus the reason why you insisted that present progressive tense form was needed.

            I agree in some, very few, situations this form of writing would be needed, but overall, no.

            To demonstrate what I'm talking about I'll use your own example that you were so happy with:

            "Bob and Tom circle each other, feinting -- trying to find an opening."

            -- Bob and Tom's action is continuing, but you found it not necessary to use the present progressive tense form of writing by using the "to be" verb "are" to express this: Bob and Tom are circling each other...

            So, I think you can finally agree that you don't necessary need to use the present progressive tense style of writing to express a "continuing" action.

            Centos, I'll be using your example in the future along with my "picnic" example to demonstrate times where using an "ing" verb would be cool.
            No, you don't, I agree -- especially if there is action going on. And I originally wrote that example as "Bob and Tom are circling each other..." and didn't like it. I think sc111's "cheat" is a pretty good idea too. But, in the case of depression (in the original, John is about to commit suicide) I think the more passive "John is sitting" also works.

            In the short, "Border Crossing," posted in the "script pages" forum, I introduce a character like this...

            INT. CAR -- NIGHT

            MIKE HAMON, 60s, scrag and an old Cardinals baseball cap, fiddles with the dial of his vintage AM radio.

            You can pretty much assume he is sitting because of the slug line, and the first verb is a "normal" one because he *is* doing something. Actually many (if not most) of my scenes start with a "normal" verb. A lot of times the scene's description (or setting) already places the character for you -- so now you're ready to get right into the action. And there are a lot of ways to do this.

            I think I'm just about "talked out" on this subject -- so, I'll try to avoid writing much more here.

            (Promises, promises...)
            STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

            Comment


            • #81
              Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

              No significant person in the industry reading your script is going to give a hoot about active or passive constructions, as long as they can reasonably follow the story.

              So if you like passive constructions, go ahead and use them. I prefer active constructions, and I will not use the present progressive tense "is slugging" because it is awkward. The simple present tense with action verbs other than condition verbs like "is" works better, but no one else in the industry gives a rip.

              Comment


              • #82
                Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

                Originally posted by billmarq View Post
                I have been arguing for years that we need to stop the use of the third person plural to avoid gender bias, as in:

                "When someone thinks to themselves ...."

                I have gotten nowwhere in my campaign. I see this horrid construction daily, even from scholarly persons.
                Yes! I see it so much, I start to think that maybe I'm crazy for avoiding it.

                Comment


                • #83
                  Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

                  I've given up avoiding it.
                  "Tone is now engaged in a furious Google search for Leighton Meester's keester." -- A friend of mine

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

                    Avoiding what?

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

                      Okay, but could an active verb take on Godzilla? Or Superman?

                      - Bill
                      Free Script Tips:
                      http://www.scriptsecrets.net

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

                        Originally posted by maralyn View Post
                        Avoiding what?
                        Writing.
                        "Tone is now engaged in a furious Google search for Leighton Meester's keester." -- A friend of mine

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

                          i'm all over the place with my tenses, but 'ing's do things that can't be done with other words.
                          You only get one chance to rewrite it 100 times.

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

                            The following seems to suggest that the first rule is, there are no rules.

                            From Stephen King's new short story, "One Major Sin Before You Die" (the title made me buy the mag) published in Esquire's latest issue:

                            Out of desperation and a need to fill up the empty hours when Nora was tending to the Reverend Winston, Chad had started a book he called Living with the Animals: The Life of a Substitute Teacher in Four City Schools. Words did not come easily to him, and on some days they did not come at all, but by the time he was called in to St. Saviour to teach second grade (Mr. Cardelli had broken a leg in a car accident), he had finished three chapters. Nora received the pages with a troubled smile. No woman wants the job of telling the man in her life that he's been wasting his time.


                            I understand that a short story is not a screenplay, but it seems like this paragraph (and most others) is replete with "was...ing's," and "had...", etc. Honestly, if you were his editor, would you, could you...?

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

                              That's a short story bio.

                              It's got nothing to do with screenwriting.

                              I'm going to leave this thread now, because it's like chalk on a blackboard.

                              But please understand that the people who are jumping up and down advocating the ing, have no formal training in screenwriting.

                              And that when people talk about the intenet being full of misinformation, that this thread is an example of what they mean.

                              100 pages is a lot of pages.

                              You want to use the ing?

                              Then g'hed.

                              Pay the price.

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                Re: Active Verbs VS Passive Verbs

                                FWIW, in the spec I sold last year, I only used fourteen "ing" words. Sprawling, hanging, glancing, climbing, sweating, wearing, staring, making, working, doing, gardening, standing, smiling, drifting.

                                On the first page.

                                Relax.

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