Ext - Night; showing characters talking in window

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  • Ext - Night; showing characters talking in window

    Hard to explain in few words for thread title so here is what I am trying to do:

    my two characters are bonding over snacks at the kitchen table in the middle of the night.
    I want my next scene to be a shot of the outside of the house showing the two characters talking and laughing in the kitchen window(the only lit room in the entire house).

    The scene ends the act 2 mid-climax and the two of them talking/bonding is a big deal. I want to show the outside of the house as a way to signal the break.

    Jaws did something like this when the three characters drink at night in the boat, then the next scene is a shot of the boat from the ocean with one room lit at night. The formatting in jaws seems fine, albeit too wordy. Should I just stick with this? Thanks!

    this is what jaws did btw:

    EXT. OCEAN - NIGHT

    Quint has just finished his story, and we are looking across
    the quiet night sea to the Orca slowly circling in the night,
    the warm light in the pilot house barely revealing the figures
    of the three men inside, the red and green running lights
    winking along the ship's flanks. We hear the distant boom
    and drawn-out hoot of a whale.

  • #2
    Re: ext - night; showing characters talking in window.

    You could say something like this:

    EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

    Through the dim light of the only lit window, Jean and Paulette bond over snacks at the kitchen table.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: ext - night; showing characters talking in window.

      Originally posted by jeanpaul View Post

      my two characters are bonding over snacks at the kitchen table in the middle of the night.
      I want my next scene to be a shot of the outside of the house showing the two characters talking and laughing in the kitchen window(the only lit room in the entire house).
      Joan's works, but as Done Deal draws to a close, consider using "we see" to bring back one of the many famous DD threads.

      EXT. HOUSE KITCHEN WINDOW - NIGHT

      We see JEAN AND JOAN in the kitchen ......

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: ext - night; showing characters talking in window.

        Yes, I was thinking, do I "We see" or do I not "We see"?

        Originally posted by jonpiper View Post
        Joan's works, but as Done Deal draws to a close, consider using "we see" to bring back one of the many famous DD threads.

        EXT. HOUSE KITCHEN WINDOW - NIGHT

        We see JEAN AND JOAN in the kitchen ......

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: ext - night; showing characters talking in window.

          Originally posted by Joaneasley View Post
          You could say something like this:

          EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

          Through the dim light of the only lit window, Jean and Paulette bond over snacks at the kitchen table.
          Yes, I'd agree something like this works just fine. Knowing that this might be my last ever post on these forums I was hoping to utter something more profound, but such is the world of spec screenwriting.
          "Friends make the worst enemies." Frank Underwood

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Ext - Night; showing characters talking in window

            You can write the scene any way you want - then cut it.

            Doesn't the previous scene have "Jean and Paulette bond over snacks at the kitchen table-?

            As with most "transitional- scenes, it doesn't advance the story.
            "I am the story itself; its source, its voice, its music."
            - Clive Barker, Galilee

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Ext - Night; showing characters talking in window

              For a couple decades I had hammered into my brain to not use "directions" of we see/we hear so I have kind of developed a way to do the same without stating we see.

              In your case, as they talk you would have a new scene header:

              EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
              Crickets chirp, a dog barks and in the only window illuminated in the house, Dick and Jane talk into the night.

              Now, breaking the rule I had beaten into my head it could be as they said above "we see".

              You could even take it farther and break the convention completely.

              EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
              Through the window Dick and Jane continue talking and laughing.

              The camera slowly pulls back revealing that window to be the only one illuminated in the house.

              Crickets chirp. In the distance a dog can be heard barking late into the night.

              Stuff like that.
              You know Jill you remind me of my mother. She was the biggest whore in Alameda and the finest woman that ever lived. Whoever my father was, for an hour or for a month, he must have been a happy man.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: ext - night; showing characters talking in window.

                Originally posted by Joaneasley View Post
                Yes, I was thinking, do I "We see" or do I not "We see"?
                "We see" is fine ... but I kind to have agree with Two Brad Bradley on this one. What's the point? What's added? I think if you the OP wants to keep it in, it might be better as an "establishing" shot. Show the two characters through the window, then go on inside for the conversation.
                STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Ext - Night; showing characters talking in window

                  Originally posted by Centos View Post
                  ... I kind to have agree with Two Brad Bradley on this one. What's the point? What's added?
                  Perhaps ...

                  Nuance.
                  Tone.
                  Mood.
                  Tension.
                  Device / foreshadowing.
                  Psychology.
                  Bridging shot.
                  Decoupage.
                  Motif / leitmotif.

                  Could be any one of a number of reasons why the writer includes the shot. It's not possible to look at one shot or one scene in isolation and determine how it might or might not be relevant or functional; a movie is always the sum of its moments.

                  These things, the visual treatment alluded to in the script, the mood and psychology that emerges from the writer's way of positioning the viewer, can be the difference between an ordinary and obvious script and a clever, provocative script and may show that the writer really understands the story they're telling.

                  Sure, it could turn out to be meaningless, but it can't be judged out of context and, to give the writer the benefit of the doubt, it may indicate someone who has an excellent sense of what makes the movie work visually.
                  "Friends make the worst enemies." Frank Underwood

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Ext - Night; showing characters talking in window

                    Originally posted by DavidK View Post
                    Sure, it could turn out to be meaningless, but it can’t be judged out of context and, to give the writer the benefit of the doubt, it may indicate someone who has an excellent sense of what makes the movie work visually.
                    You're right. One of the biggest problems with giving writing advice is that you always tend to tell someone how you (I, in this case) would do it.
                    STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I'm a wannabe, take whatever I write with a huge grain of salt.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Ext - Night; showing characters talking in window

                      David, I hope this doesn't turn out to be anybody's last post, but if that did somehow become your last post, it was a damn good one. : )

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Ext - Night; showing characters talking in window

                        Originally posted by Centos View Post
                        You're right. One of the biggest problems with giving writing advice is that you always tend to tell someone how you (I, in this case) would do it.
                        Yep. I'm guilty of the same but I try hard to make sure I put out there my suggestions as my opinions, not so they do what I say, but so that it spurs thinking outside the box of what they might have focused on at that point.
                        You know Jill you remind me of my mother. She was the biggest whore in Alameda and the finest woman that ever lived. Whoever my father was, for an hour or for a month, he must have been a happy man.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Ext - Night; showing characters talking in window

                          Originally posted by Joaneasley View Post
                          Yes, I was thinking, do I "We see" or do I not "We see"?
                          I see what you mean.

                          Originally posted by Centos View Post
                          "We see" is fine ... but I kind to have agree with Two Brad Bradley on this one. What's the point? What's added? I think if you the OP wants to keep it in, it might be better as an "establishing" shot. Show the two characters through the window, then go on inside for the conversation.
                          Originally posted by DavidK View Post
                          Perhaps ...

                          Nuance.
                          Tone.
                          Mood.
                          Tension.
                          Device / foreshadowing.
                          Psychology.
                          Bridging shot.
                          Decoupage.
                          Motif / leitmotif.

                          Could be any one of a number of reasons why the writer includes the shot. It's not possible to look at one shot or one scene in isolation and determine how it might or might not be relevant or functional; a movie is always the sum of its moments.

                          These things, the visual treatment alluded to in the script, the mood and psychology that emerges from the writer's way of positioning the viewer, can be the difference between an ordinary and obvious script and a clever, provocative script and may show that the writer really understands the story they're telling.

                          Sure, it could turn out to be meaningless, but it can't be judged out of context and, to give the writer the benefit of the doubt, it may indicate someone who has an excellent sense of what makes the movie work visually.
                          Thanks, David. I'm still learning.

                          Comment

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