Whew. Wow. Where to begin?
Some time ago I accepted I was never going to be good enough and walked away. Disappointed as I was, I felt a sense of peace. But when the Black List came out I had to know, just had to know where I stood.
Title: Runnin' With The Devil
Era: Present
Locations: London
Budget: Medium
Genre: Gangster, Crime Thriller, Film Noir
Pages: 100
Overall: 8/10
Logline:
Petty career criminal RYAN BLAKE finds himself in a mortal bind after losing forty thousand pounds borrowed from psychopathic mob boss DAVID CONNOLLY. Now, with his life on the line, a desperate Ryan makes a Faustian bargain with wealthy businessman FRASIER DOUGLAS-HAMILTON, who agrees to pay off Ryan’s debt in exchange for murdering his wife.
Strengths:
This script grabs the reader right from the start with its unique, stylized voice and a conflict-packed story which races forward at an exhilarating pace. It’s also filled with indelible, fully realized characters that leap off the page. This is especially true of two-bit protagonist RYAN and his great adversary, CONNOLLY, an electrifying antagonist who is both hilarious and terrifying. Ryan’s character growth is clear and solidly built over the course of the story, culminating with a realization about his life that comes heartbreakingly late. The scene construction is advanced throughout, with a knack for upending the audience’s expectations mid-scene. It’s a gambit that keeps the audience guessing and invested, even in the final scenes which pack a reveal the audience should see coming, but doesn’t. The script also displays a fantastic ear for dialogue, replete with snappy back and forth, and witty one-liners audiences will likely remember long after the movie is over.
Weaknesses:
This centres on some coincidences that are a bit too hard to believe. Ive omitted details so as not to spoil the read for interested parties.
Prospects:
A fun, gritty crime drama in the vein of LAYER CAKE and SNATCH, this script has the strong characters (with fantastic dialogue) that could go on to attract an A-list cast. With just slightly more work done to strengthen Ryan’s character (making him more likable while keeping his tragic arc intact) and to make the plot feel a bit more organic (smoothing away some of the coincidences), this project could go on to have solid commercial prospects.
I know it's only one read and that opinions are like arseholes but to say I feel vindicated is an understatement. I logged in expecting a max of 4/10 and hoping for a 6. I'm especially pleased about dialogue & characters as these are what I've been most self conscious about. I was shaking upon reading the compliments and even though it's not a 10, feel I can hold my head up high when around other amateurs.
Don't I get included in an email now?
Some time ago I accepted I was never going to be good enough and walked away. Disappointed as I was, I felt a sense of peace. But when the Black List came out I had to know, just had to know where I stood.
Title: Runnin' With The Devil
Era: Present
Locations: London
Budget: Medium
Genre: Gangster, Crime Thriller, Film Noir
Pages: 100
Overall: 8/10
Logline:
Petty career criminal RYAN BLAKE finds himself in a mortal bind after losing forty thousand pounds borrowed from psychopathic mob boss DAVID CONNOLLY. Now, with his life on the line, a desperate Ryan makes a Faustian bargain with wealthy businessman FRASIER DOUGLAS-HAMILTON, who agrees to pay off Ryan’s debt in exchange for murdering his wife.
Strengths:
This script grabs the reader right from the start with its unique, stylized voice and a conflict-packed story which races forward at an exhilarating pace. It’s also filled with indelible, fully realized characters that leap off the page. This is especially true of two-bit protagonist RYAN and his great adversary, CONNOLLY, an electrifying antagonist who is both hilarious and terrifying. Ryan’s character growth is clear and solidly built over the course of the story, culminating with a realization about his life that comes heartbreakingly late. The scene construction is advanced throughout, with a knack for upending the audience’s expectations mid-scene. It’s a gambit that keeps the audience guessing and invested, even in the final scenes which pack a reveal the audience should see coming, but doesn’t. The script also displays a fantastic ear for dialogue, replete with snappy back and forth, and witty one-liners audiences will likely remember long after the movie is over.
Weaknesses:
This centres on some coincidences that are a bit too hard to believe. Ive omitted details so as not to spoil the read for interested parties.
Prospects:
A fun, gritty crime drama in the vein of LAYER CAKE and SNATCH, this script has the strong characters (with fantastic dialogue) that could go on to attract an A-list cast. With just slightly more work done to strengthen Ryan’s character (making him more likable while keeping his tragic arc intact) and to make the plot feel a bit more organic (smoothing away some of the coincidences), this project could go on to have solid commercial prospects.
I know it's only one read and that opinions are like arseholes but to say I feel vindicated is an understatement. I logged in expecting a max of 4/10 and hoping for a 6. I'm especially pleased about dialogue & characters as these are what I've been most self conscious about. I was shaking upon reading the compliments and even though it's not a 10, feel I can hold my head up high when around other amateurs.
Don't I get included in an email now?
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