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Old 02-09-2006, 05:51 AM   #1
pit-pony
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Default What does this Prodco feedback mean?

I recieved some feed back from a prodco on one of my scripts.

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We had a chance to read your <<screenplay>>. Unfortunately we’re going to have to take a pass.

However, in such a case, I’d usually reply that the script “just wasn’t for us.” But to be honest, I felt you’ve written a very engaging story — at times I couldn’t put the script down. And your research was good enough that I believed I’d been given entre into a world that very few people know. And that speaks to your ability to evoke this world where the various law enforcement and security agencies work together (or sometimes against each other) to avoid such an incident.

Some story elements such as set up and pay off, the placement of the flashback, and some character motivation need work. If you were to find a seasoned screenwriter to work with you on the script, you might be able to fix these elements. I think you do have something here and it is worth your while to try and solve some of these story / character problems.

But as I mentioned above, unfortunately, we would not be able to consider the script in its present form. Let me know if you do find someone to help you with it and get it to a future draft. Thank you very much for letting us read it nonetheless.
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I'd like opnions as to what this constructive critisism really means and where to go from here?

Thanks

..jack

Last edited by pit-pony : 02-10-2006 at 09:32 AM.
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Old 02-09-2006, 06:24 AM   #2
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Default Re: What does this Prodco feedback mean?

I think it means he/she really liked your script and if you hurry up and fix the obvious flaws, you have an open door to re-submit the same script.

CHOP CHOP! Don't delay!

good luck, Jack.
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Old 02-09-2006, 06:32 AM   #3
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Default Re: What does this Prodco feedback mean?

He's being nice. He thinks you have some raw talent, but lack the polish a professional needs. Get some more feedback on your script and sit down for a serious rewrite.
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:52 AM   #4
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Default Re: What does this Prodco feedback mean?

I wish I knew more on what he meant. The flash-back is obvious, the rest (to me) is not. So I guess I need outside help ... hmmmm ... how to do that?

..jack
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Old 02-09-2006, 10:47 AM   #5
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Default Re: What does this Prodco feedback mean?

Quote:
However, in such a case, I’d usually reply that the script “just wasn’t for us.”
Then why bother with the feedback? Is the producer hedging his bets? thinks this writer(s) may be a dark horse that may pay off in the future after a lot of sweat & toil ( on the writer's part!)?
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Old 02-09-2006, 01:37 PM   #6
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Default Re: What does this Prodco feedback mean?

I think it was very good feedback. If it was 'just' a rejection letter, you would have gotten a typical form letter (as he stated.) It seems like it actually got past a low-level script reader, and someone higher up probably actually read it.

He's making it clear that he thinks the story has a lot of potential, but in its current state is flawed and not ready. If he did not think it had such potential, I doubt he would have bothered with a personal reply. Its not a form letter, because he references the crime and agencies thing in your script.

Can you see any truth in his criticism? Do you think his letter accurately reflects your screenplay?

I think if you can get back to him within a couple of months, he will still remember and likely will be willing to read your revision. But it had better be good. That's why I ask if you really 'see' his criticism. Heck, it may or may not be valid. But if you want to re-submit, make sure you do it right.

To me, it sounds like he thinks the script needs a relatively substantial re-write, so don't worry about getting something to him in 2 weeks. But again, he specifically mentions that your story is worth the re-write.
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Old 02-09-2006, 01:42 PM   #7
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Default Re: What does this Prodco feedback mean?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankclone
Then why bother with the feedback? Is the producer hedging his bets? thinks this writer(s) may be a dark horse that may pay off in the future after a lot of sweat & toil ( on the writer's part!)?
No, the producer liked the script enough to be nice but not enough to dive into it. Move on.
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Old 02-09-2006, 01:50 PM   #8
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Default Re: What does this Prodco feedback mean?

Overall -- it's a rejection letter but the person writing seems to think the idea has merit. You may not have executed the idea well.

His remarks about set-up and payoff could mean the overall structure of the script is off, or in individual scenes you're not setting up and paying off properly. That's why he's telling you to team with a more professional writer.

Character motivation means your protags back story has to make their choices believable.

What I would take away from this is -- he liked the idea and you have to do a major rewrite, explore different possible ways to execute this idea. Hwoever, the letter is making no commitment they they're waiting for that rewrite.
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Old 02-09-2006, 02:46 PM   #9
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Default Re: What does this Prodco feedback mean?

Because of all the research and the structure I chose for this script it's going to be tough for me to re-write this screemplay without (from my point of view) causing seriously damage to the telling of the story. The characters behave as they do in real life and the flow of the story follows the natural order of how this plot evolves.

All that to say that if I make any serious changes I'll probably need help and advice.

Now, how to find that resource is the question.....

..jack
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Old 02-09-2006, 05:12 PM   #10
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Default Re: What does this Prodco feedback mean?

Quote:
I think you do have something here and it is worth your while to try and solve some of these story / character problems
I think this reader went out of his or her way to NOT be ambiguous or generic. my humble .02 Am I missing something here?

Quote:
(It's like those high school notes we'd get from a cute girl. She'd say, "See you later in math." And we'd wonder, "What did she really mean by that?)
edited to remove my foot. Sorry creative...

Is vague here?
Quote:
And that speaks to your ability to evoke this world where the various law enforcement and security agencies work together (or sometimes against each other) to avoid such an incident.
Is vague here?
Quote:
But to be honest, I felt you’ve written a very engaging story
I think writers are too conditioned to try and read between the ambiguous lines. Break this letter down and all its parts add up to one SUM; an open door to re-submit. End of story.

Maybe I'm just old-school. I believe in striking while the Iron's hot. Sure you can be writing your next script, but in the trenches are more than enough writers waiting in line to fill your pages and steal glory that might've been intended for you.

Jack, I believe EXT.HOLLYWOOD.DAY (a memeber here) has a coverage service. It might be worth your while to research this avenue.

...I'm a bit passionate. again, good luck.
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