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Old 03-09-2020, 10:31 PM   #1
Cyfress
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Default Scene Practice

Getting good at scene writing as we all know is so important. I am starting this thread for people to practice. Any scene. A stand alone or something from a script.

I'll start. I don't have any screenwriting software at the moment so I'm gonna write a quick scene in the browser.

INT. MARRIAGE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE

DR. RYAN MURPHY, 40s dressed in a nice suit with glasses. He has gray streaks on the sides of his jet black hair. He opens the door.

....DR. MURPHY
Please Come in.

TOM WINTERS, 40s, walks in followed by his wife RACHAEL, 40s. They are amidst a silent argument filled with all the facial expressions and mouth movements but no sound.

.....DR. MURPHY
Ah. Please. Have a seat.

Tom and Rachael sit down in the two chairs in front of the desk in the middle of their silent argument.

.....DR. MURPHY
Hello?

On cue both Tom and Rachael stop and look at Dr. Murphy with a huge smile.

.....DR. MURPHY
Good. Now why don't you tell me what's been going on.

.....TOM
Pretty much if she had a butler, ringing a bell to call for him would be too much work.

.....RACHAEL
Me? Our couch has an imprint of your ass because you never move it from there.

Tom leans in to the doctor.

.....TOM
She lets her arm pit hair grow real long and then saves the trimmings to make a scarf.

Dr. Murphy's face winces.

.....RACHAEL
He urinates by the tree in our backyard. Who does that?

....DR. MURPHY
(dumbfounded)
Not me.

.....TOM
Urine is mostly water! You know what she does? When she's on her period she pulls her tampons out and smells them!

.....DR. MURPHY
Pissing on a tree all of a sudden seems normal.

Rachael looks over at Tom and gives him the stink eye like she can't believe he gave that up. Rachael looks at Dr. Murphy.

.....RACHAEL
All this coming from a man who picks his nose then rolls it in his fingers until it's a nice formed ball and then he flicks onto the rug.

....DR. MURPHY
Now that's disgusting.

....TOM
You're talking to a woman that when she wipes her ass she has to look what is on the toilet paper.

Dr. Murphy's face sours.

.....RACHAEL
He farts into a container because he loves to breathe them in through his mouth.

Dr. Murphy dry heaves.

....TOM
She bites her toe nails and eats the clippings!

....RACHAEL
It's good for your teeth! He---

.....DR. MURPHY
SHUT-UP!!!!!!

Tom and Rachael turn into students in front of the principal. Silent and frozen.

.....DR. MURPHY
You two are the most disgusting, vile people I've ever come across! One thing is for sure. You two deserve each other like no other man and woman on this earth.

Tom and Rachael look at each other. There's a beat then they are lip locked. Passionately kissing. Tom sticks his tongue in her mouth for a long kiss then moves on to her neck.

.....RACHAEL
Did you just breathe in a fart?

.....TOM
(muffled)
Uh-huh.

Dr. Murphy holds his hand to his mouth and runs out of the room.

************************************************** **

I hope people jump in here and take part. We can add comments and remarks to the scene and people can give them another crack. The point is to get in there and practice your way working through a scene.
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Old 03-10-2020, 02:18 PM   #2
nguyensquared
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Default Re: Scene Practice

TOMMY: Hi
FLOWER SHOP OWNER: Can I help you?
TOMMY: Can I have a dozen red roses please?
FLOWER SHOP OWNER: Oh hey Johnny, I didn't know it was you! Here you go.
TOMMY: That's me! How much is it?
FLOWER SHOP OWNER: That'll be $18.
TOMMY: Here you go, keep the change. Oh hai doggie!
FLOWER SHOP OWNER: You're my favorite customer.
TOMMY: Thanks a lot. Bye.
FLOWER SHOP OWNER: Bye, bye.
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Old 03-10-2020, 04:05 PM   #3
Cyfress
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Default Re: Scene Practice

No experts please. This isn’t for people that have conquered scene writing.
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Old 03-10-2020, 11:22 PM   #4
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Default Re: Scene Practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyfress View Post
No experts please. This isn’t for people that have conquered scene writing.
Well... darn!

I'm glad this forum is getting some use again. I've kind of missed the "contests."

If you ever need an online and easy way to post script snippets here, you can go to YouMeScript.com, type in your scene and export to text. It does everything right except for the action lines, so you'll have to shorten those to proper format... This was done completely at YouMeScript... (and its "quality" proves that I should be allowed to post here!)

Code:
INT. LIVING ROOM — DAY JOE and BOB are watching NASCAR on TV. They're thrilled that the cars are circling the track over and over again. BOB Damn, this is great. JOE Sure is. BOB I love watching NASCAR. JOE Me too. Me too. PETE enters. PETE Wow, NASCAR! JACK walks in. JACK Damyum, NASCAR! JOE Great, ain't it? EXT. FRONT YARD — CONTINUOUS
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Last edited by Centos : 03-10-2020 at 11:36 PM.
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Old 03-19-2020, 01:55 PM   #5
Mark Somers
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Default Re: Scene Practice

Code:
Two tough old guys are in each others face. Alberto sports a long ago busted bent nose. Danny has a scar running down the side of his face and a cigar hanging from his mouth. Alberto swings at Danny but Danny blocks it with his huge paw of a fist. DANNY Try that again, I'll turn your knuckles into minced meat. The sound of a very wet fart echoes off the bathroom tiles... PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP PHAP PHAP SPLASH PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP PHAP PHAP SPLUUUUUUTER PLAP PHAP PHRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP Danny points to a series of switches on the wall next to Alberto. Alberto flips one of the switches while holding his breath. The room is flooded with intense red light. Danny shakes his head, no. Alberto flips off the hot lamps. PHRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP PHAP Alberto flips another switch. An incredibly powerful and equally noisy fan roars to life. It sucks their hair upwards along with the toilet paper. Danny grabs at the toilet paper as it flies up towards the fan. DANNY (yells) I know the police force is cutting back, and New York City is almost bankrupt. Alberto cups an ear towards Danny. DANNY (yells) But I'm not losing my job... PHRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP SPUDER PHRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP PHAP PHAP PHAP DANNY (yells) And collect a government handout and... PHRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP PHAP PHAP PRAAAAAAAAP Alberto sways. His face red from holding his breath. He grasps the side of the sink as he struggles to point toward the toilet bowl. DANNY (yells) ...I'm definitely not going to adjust... Danny raises his hands in mock defiance. He makes exaggerated motions as he flushes the toilet. DANNY (yells) ...my personality for an old loser like you. Danny's cigar is sucked upwards. Danny shakes a fistful of toilet paper at Alberto... DANNY (yells) So if I ask you how many times you f***ed your wife, don't get so worked up. ALBERTO What?
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Old 03-21-2020, 12:51 PM   #6
JeffLowell
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Default Re: Scene Practice

NASCAR indeed.
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Old 03-22-2020, 01:02 PM   #7
bioprofessor
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Default Re: Scene Practice

Scene description: A NYC detective on medical leave takes a break while on his daily walk in the park. The detective strikes up a conversation with a stranger that leaves him wondering. (3 pages)
Code:
EXT. PARK - DAY Heat waves rise off the sun-baked boardwalk, giving us a distorted view of SAILBOATS cruising the river in the distance. A group of dogwalkers huddle under the shade of a giant oak. BOARDWALK SYKES (late 50s), beefy build, slows his walking pace, wipes sweat from his balding sunburnt brow, plops down on a park bench. SYKES Whew! Hot enough for you? He glances toward the far end of the bench. REDHEAD GUY (40s), hair slicked-back, eyes hidden behind mirrored aviators, wearing a long sleeve flannel shirt, khakis. He stares straight ahead, nods. Sykes takes a swig from a water bottle. SYKES When I was a kid... He gestures toward the river. SYKES We'd dive off the Fifth-Street Pier and float all the way down to the beach. He looks over to Redhead Guy. SYKES But right now, if it were up to me, I'd have my ass parked in front of an air conditioner, sipping an ice cold bourbon. Redhead Guy stares straight ahead. REDHEAD GUY Then, why are you here? (monotone) Syke's huffs. SYKES Damn good question. Medical leave from the precinct. Redhead Guy quickly turns his head. We see Sykes' reflection in the mirrored lenses. SYKES Doc says I'm diabetic, wants me walkin' a mile a day. Sykes notices Redhead Guy's foot tapping rapidly on the boardwalk planks. SYKES Sonofabitch is fatter than me, told him he outta get his lard ass out here and-- WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.) (Yelling) Homer, you come here, right now! A YOUNG WOMAN races past, zigzagging, desperately chasing her escaped cocker spaniel. SYKES (O.S.) How 'bout you? Don't remember seeing you out here. Redhead Guy cracks a smile, tracks the frantic dog owner, as if Sykes never spoke. REDHEAD GUY Reminds me when they sent me to granddaddy's farm. SYKES Yeah? How's that? (BEGIN FLASHBACK) EXT. BARNYARD - DAY A TEENAGE REDHEAD GUY darts back and forth, chasing a flock of screeching CHICKENS. He dives for a FAT HEN, kicks up a cloud of dust as his spindly body hits the ground. A GRIZZLED OLD MAN in overalls clutches the hen, guides the teen's hand over the bird's neck. Teenage Redhead Boy, eyes wide, flinches as he presses the flailing hen against a chopping block. GRIZZLED OLD MAN Squeeze her neck... cuts the blood flow... stops her from kicking. Teenage Redhead Boy squeezes. The bird's body goes limp. REDHEAD GUY (V.O.) I was shaking, ready to vomit. Then Grandad handed me the hatchet. (RETURN TO SCENE) EXT. PARK - DAY CLOSE UP - A distorted REFLECTION of Sykes' puzzled face in Redhead's mirrored sunglasses. REDHEAD GUY I was ok after that. Kinda calm. (RETURN TO FLASHBACK) EXT. BARNYARD - DAY Teenage Redhead Guy stares down, eyes fixed. He raises the hatchet. THWAT! BLOOD splatters across Teenage Redhead Guy's face. (RETURN TO SCENE) EXT. PARK - DAY The Young Woman scoops up her dog. Redhead Guy turns his head slowly toward Sykes. REDHEAD GUY It was like she knew what I had to do.

Last edited by bioprofessor : 03-24-2020 at 06:51 AM.
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Old 03-23-2020, 05:41 PM   #8
sc111
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Default Re: Scene Practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyfress View Post
Getting good at scene writing as we all know is so important. I am starting this thread for people to practice. Any scene. A stand alone or something from a script.

I'll start. I don't have any screenwriting software at the moment so I'm gonna write a quick scene in the browser.

INT. MARRIAGE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE

DR. RYAN MURPHY, 40s dressed in a nice suit with glasses. He has gray streaks on the sides of his jet black hair. He opens the door.

....DR. MURPHY
Please Come in.

TOM WINTERS, 40s, walks in followed by his wife RACHAEL, 40s. They are amidst a silent argument filled with all the facial expressions and mouth movements but no sound.

.....DR. MURPHY
Ah. Please. Have a seat.

Tom and Rachael sit down in the two chairs in front of the desk in the middle of their silent argument.

.....DR. MURPHY
Hello?

On cue both Tom and Rachael stop and look at Dr. Murphy with a huge smile.

.....DR. MURPHY
Good. Now why don't you tell me what's been going on.

.....TOM
Pretty much if she had a butler, ringing a bell to call for him would be too much work.

.....RACHAEL
Me? Our couch has an imprint of your ass because you never move it from there.

Tom leans in to the doctor.

.....TOM
She lets her arm pit hair grow real long and then saves the trimmings to make a scarf.

Dr. Murphy's face winces.

.....RACHAEL
He urinates by the tree in our backyard. Who does that?

....DR. MURPHY
(dumbfounded)
Not me.

.....TOM
Urine is mostly water! You know what she does? When she's on her period she pulls her tampons out and smells them!

.....DR. MURPHY
Pissing on a tree all of a sudden seems normal.

Rachael looks over at Tom and gives him the stink eye like she can't believe he gave that up. Rachael looks at Dr. Murphy.

.....RACHAEL
All this coming from a man who picks his nose then rolls it in his fingers until it's a nice formed ball and then he flicks onto the rug.

....DR. MURPHY
Now that's disgusting.

....TOM
You're talking to a woman that when she wipes her ass she has to look what is on the toilet paper.

Dr. Murphy's face sours.

.....RACHAEL
He farts into a container because he loves to breathe them in through his mouth.

Dr. Murphy dry heaves.

....TOM
She bites her toe nails and eats the clippings!

....RACHAEL
It's good for your teeth! He---

.....DR. MURPHY
SHUT-UP!!!!!!

Tom and Rachael turn into students in front of the principal. Silent and frozen.

.....DR. MURPHY
You two are the most disgusting, vile people I've ever come across! One thing is for sure. You two deserve each other like no other man and woman on this earth.

Tom and Rachael look at each other. There's a beat then they are lip locked. Passionately kissing. Tom sticks his tongue in her mouth for a long kiss then moves on to her neck.

.....RACHAEL
Did you just breathe in a fart?

.....TOM
(muffled)
Uh-huh.

Dr. Murphy holds his hand to his mouth and runs out of the room.

************************************************** **

I hope people jump in here and take part. We can add comments and remarks to the scene and people can give them another crack. The point is to get in there and practice your way working through a scene.
Huh?
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Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. “Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.”
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Old 04-29-2020, 06:42 AM   #9
Why One
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Default Re: Scene Practice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Centos View Post
Well... darn!

I'm glad this forum is getting some use again. I've kind of missed the "contests."

If you ever need an online and easy way to post script snippets here, you can go to YouMeScript.com, type in your scene and export to text. It does everything right except for the action lines, so you'll have to shorten those to proper format... This was done completely at YouMeScript... (and its "quality" proves that I should be allowed to post here!)
Cool link. But it also doesn't format multi-line dialogue either unfortunately.

Code:
A CAT stands up on its hind legs and watches a HUMAN go down on all fours. CAT Hello there, hooman! HOOMAN Meow. The Cat looks straight at us, baffled. The CAMERA PUSHES IN into one of the Cat's eyes until the screen is filled with-– -–BLACKNESS... Then a line HIPPOS in ballerina costumes fade into view, dancing in perfect unison. CROSSHAIRS appear over the head of one of the Hippos... BANG - a geyser of blood spews out of the Hippo's head. The other Hippos SCREAM and scatter as the CAMERA PULLS OUT... Out of the IRIS of someone's eye. It belongs to-– -–Jesus. No wait, it's actually full bearded, JARED LETO. Meditating with open eyes next to a tree in the desert. A NATIVE AMERICAN with a shotgun approaches Jared. Jared looks up to him. JARED I understand now. Hippos scream like humans, but humans meow like cats, and cats talk like humans. The Native American nods thoughtfully. Then cocks his shotgun. NATIVE AMERICAN Get out of my yard. WIDEN to reveal Jared is sitting in some guy's yard. CUT TO: EXT. SOME GUY'S HOUSE - DAY Jared scampers away from the house in his sandals and toga. The Native American FIRES his shotgun into the air to scare him some more. Jared flinches but keeps on running. An open-top Cadillac tears into view and pulls up before Jared. Jared dives into the back. JARED Go-go-go! The Cadillac tears away, kicking up a cloud of dust. INT. CADILLAC - DAY The DRIVER looks over to Jared recovering in the back. DRIVER You get it? JARED Yes! Get the president on the phone. I have the answer that will save us from this disease. The Driver smiles and floors it. EXT. DESERT - SAME The Cadillac streams off into the distance.
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Old 04-29-2020, 10:07 PM   #10
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Default Re: Scene Practice

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