I've been reading some scripts. The best ones, IMHO, are those where reading the script is almost like watching the movie. I can see the images in my mind.
But here is a conundrum. I will illustrate it with two examples describing the same thing. (Please ignore the typing format here.)
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Version one
EXT. A ROAD IN WALES - DAY
A troop of mounted soldiers approach at a trot. Leading them is Cassius, a young nobleman in gleaming armour. Camera pans with him as they pass, then rises to show their destination: a large ROMAN VILLA.
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When I asked people about this, they said it was wrong. -You are writing a spec script. You should just tell a story. You should not be giving instructions about camera movement and angles. That belongs in a shooting script.- So I rewrote it something like this:
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Version two
EXT. A ROAD IN WALES - DAY
A troop of soldiers ride toward a large ROMAN VILLA. Their leader is Cassius, a young nobleman in gleaming armour.
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Ever since, I have been avoiding everything that mentions -camera- doing something or -from above/below- or -we see-. But I have also always felt that the first version was a better read. Later I have found that in actual scripts, such descriptions are actually not a no-no. Here are two examples from a real (Sci-fi) movie:
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A planet of massive, tortured ROCK FORMS, distant cities constructed atop and underneath them. A HOVER-SPEEDER in the mid-ground kicks up dust, backlit by the sun, as it traces the horizon. We PAN WITH IT, revealing a FAMILY HOME, built seamlessly into a rocky mountainside.
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The shuttle SAILS AWAY with the others... HOLD ON THIS... for a long beat. Then PAN OVER to see NERO'S SHIP TUMBLING SILENTLY THROUGH SPACE -- DEBRIS still raining from the explosion -
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So here is my question. Where is the border between a spec script and a shooting script? Are my sci-fi examples a shooting script? Would a movie company reader throw that in the bin? I think, despite the instructions for shots, that it reads excellently.
But here is a conundrum. I will illustrate it with two examples describing the same thing. (Please ignore the typing format here.)
---
Version one
EXT. A ROAD IN WALES - DAY
A troop of mounted soldiers approach at a trot. Leading them is Cassius, a young nobleman in gleaming armour. Camera pans with him as they pass, then rises to show their destination: a large ROMAN VILLA.
---
When I asked people about this, they said it was wrong. -You are writing a spec script. You should just tell a story. You should not be giving instructions about camera movement and angles. That belongs in a shooting script.- So I rewrote it something like this:
---
Version two
EXT. A ROAD IN WALES - DAY
A troop of soldiers ride toward a large ROMAN VILLA. Their leader is Cassius, a young nobleman in gleaming armour.
---
Ever since, I have been avoiding everything that mentions -camera- doing something or -from above/below- or -we see-. But I have also always felt that the first version was a better read. Later I have found that in actual scripts, such descriptions are actually not a no-no. Here are two examples from a real (Sci-fi) movie:
---
A planet of massive, tortured ROCK FORMS, distant cities constructed atop and underneath them. A HOVER-SPEEDER in the mid-ground kicks up dust, backlit by the sun, as it traces the horizon. We PAN WITH IT, revealing a FAMILY HOME, built seamlessly into a rocky mountainside.
---
The shuttle SAILS AWAY with the others... HOLD ON THIS... for a long beat. Then PAN OVER to see NERO'S SHIP TUMBLING SILENTLY THROUGH SPACE -- DEBRIS still raining from the explosion -
---
So here is my question. Where is the border between a spec script and a shooting script? Are my sci-fi examples a shooting script? Would a movie company reader throw that in the bin? I think, despite the instructions for shots, that it reads excellently.
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