Incredibly Original Epic Script...but...

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  • Re: Incredibly Original Epic Script...but...

    Originally posted by zenplato View Post
    And don't hate on me because I ain't no punk bitch!
    That's my boy zen right there.

    Corona
    I love you, Reyna . . .

    Brown-Balled by the Hollywood Clika

    Latino Heart Project's MEXICAN HEART...ATTACK!
    I ain't no punk b1tch...

    Comment


    • Re: Incredibly Original Epic Script...but...

      Originally posted by Dogtown13
      Guess why...because that was never implied. But now it all makes sense what the trip up was now that you've explained what you read into it. If only I hand a V8 handy...and celery...I'd make a bloody mary.

      Please allow me to go line-by-line to explain the meaning behind what I wrote.

      Meaning, if you [whomever] burn your chance with your "first choice" go-to-people by blowing your wad too soon byway of submitting a shite script that should have stayed on a dusty shelf in grandma's garage [aka your apartment] or in a box kicked under a moving bullet-train.

      My bad, forgot the word "same" [sue my editor, once I hire one from Craigslist]. Becomes: But now try to get the "same" people to read it. Follow my twisted logic yet?

      See, I ass-u-me-d that you [whomever] don't take an entire year [or two, or ten] to write 'a' screenplay, that you'd need to go 'back' out with something new in a matter of a few short months. Obviously, you're not going to go to the "same" people with your new script if you burned that [immediate] bridge byway of giving them a doorstop instead of screenplay. Now you're going to your second choice people. What a brilliant strategy this is turning out to be, climbing down the ladder one rung at a time, I'm super impressed! ...not really, that's what I sound like when I'm lying.

      True. Only difference, there's less proms therefore no longer any reason to pimp peppermint schnapps or buy dime bags from that kid who pretended to be a narc...or coke from that guy in the Iroc-z. Sic ride though. Jealous as hell. Scratch that...envious.

      True. People, as in ->Individually<-. Not one shot to introduce one script into the Hollywood system that had better be the second coming or you turn into a jackolantern with buckteeth and STD's when the clock strikes midnight. Funny you'd assume that's what I meant. But, there's the crux of your misguided gripe. Though, i take full responsibility for being a crap writer who can't string a fist full of ill-chosen words into a complete sentence.

      True. Otherwise, one could crap-out on a script and the studio mantra would be... "Don't worry, we'll get it there...someday" or "Sure...what's one more flyer on an unproven writer" or "10 step deal...it's got a certain ring to it."

      And if you don't believe that's what I meant, none of my poorly crafted jokes will convince you. But damn it...I laughed...out loud...when I read your interpretation. I wish I was as funny...no joke.
      I accept your sincere apology.

      What I want you to take from this is the understanding that when you talk about a town being very small or compare it to a high school and pepper in words like "incestuous," the implication you're making is that word gets around. That's how people will read it 100% of the time.

      Comment


      • Re: I have a script I feel is something very special...but..

        Originally posted by BrosHarrow View Post
        I have just completed what I feel is a ground-breaking script. Something I feel is really special and unique.
        Any chance you could post some pages. Maybe the first two.

        Curious to read.
        @TerranceMulloy

        Comment


        • Re: I have a script I feel is something very special...but..

          Originally posted by corduroy View Post
          I believe that the following is happening:

          ORIGINAL GUY
          Hey, I have this totally awesome script! It's the best ever. You liked HOT TUB TIME MACHINE? It's like that except about ballerina succubi, and also way more amazing and awesome.

          OTHER PEOPLE
          Your first script is always terrible. I know you don't believe us. But it's true.

          ORIGINAL GUY
          Unpossible.

          DOG DUDE
          Don't listen to the naysayers, I wrote my first spec in like 20 minutes on the john! It just sold to Universal for high six against eleven... Also my superfly lady and I like to go surfing...

          VARIOUS PEOPLE
          Wow. Really? That's pretty cool.

          CRANKY PEOPLE
          Stop sucking up.

          VARIOUS PEOPLE
          So... where do you surf? Venice?

          DOG DUDE
          You know... Venice... used to catch waves with Heath Ledger down in Oz... wherever...

          VARIOUS PEOPLE
          (ad-lib asking Dog Dude on man date)

          CRANKY PEOPLE
          Ugh, you people are all sycophants! You're like a pack of dogs!
          (pause)
          Geddit?

          DOG DUDE
          What?

          ORIGINAL GUY
          Did you get my PM?

          DOG DUDE
          Brian Grazer calls me for hairstyle tips sometimes.

          CRANKY PEOPLE
          I don't believe you, but I don't want to come right out and say it in black and white just in case it turns out that Brian Grazer DOES ask you for style tips.
          Originally posted by Terrance Mulloy View Post
          Any chance you could post some pages. Maybe the first two.

          Curious to read.
          Not sure how you could come to the conclusion of anything substantial reading two pages of script. IN my opinion, that's like looking at the top corner of a painting and deciphering whether that artist is any good. You might be able to if the artist is just totally inept and void of skill and craftsmanship.

          But, to determine if he is exceptionally talented...not really. Any piece of art, especially one as encompassing as a screenplay or a painting, should be seen as a whole to fully determine its merit.

          I know that I really opened up the gates of hell when I made that broad statement of the script, that was totally a piece of misjudgment on my part. Tone is one of the things that is totally lost sometimes on online posts and I never meant to imply I was God's Gift to storytelling and I was gonna "take over Hollywood" or anything of the sort.

          What I AM saying is, I have the up-most confidence, validated by many esoteric sources, that this script is at the very least, very original and special. But, as we all know, that is subjective. I had a reader read the script recently and didn't really dig it, granted this was the very first person out of maybe 15+ people who expressed that sentiment.

          One of the first things I learned about writing is NEVER get feedback from people who won't be COMPLETELY honest with you and string you by your balls when telling you how it is. Honestly, I don't even surround myself with friends in day to day life who are spineless pandering limp-worms. I don't find it constructive to ANY facet of life and the ongoing quest of striving to become a better person every day.

          Also, my partner, my brother, is a HUGE logic monster. He comes from a classic literature background, knows J.D. Salinger, Ralph Ellison, James Joyce by heart. Went to school for Film studies, and really is just a brilliant, deductive reasoner. He and I hashed this story out for 6months straight.

          JUST the story.

          It was like an epic battle between two god-like entities: Logic-Reason versus Imagination-Creativity. At the end of the war, we stood there... shaken, enlightened, drained, elated and changed forever.

          We learned so much from each other and at the end of the day became much better writers then we ever could have alone.

          I know I am rambling a bit, but I did want to make this clear. We just wanted to tell a story that challenged the artform and the reader/viewer, but was still accessible to the mainstream and at the end of the day, was just a good story, well told.

          Whether we achieved that of course is up to the viewer, but I truly believe this is what we have done. Take what you will from that.

          Dream on, guys.

          -C.Harrow
          Last edited by BrosHarrow; 04-09-2010, 01:08 AM.

          Comment


          • Re: Incredibly Original Epic Script...but...

            Originally posted by BrosHarrow View Post
            I definitely will have to do disagree on first time writers not knowing what they are doing. There are so many examples of first time writers who break through on their first script. Callie Khouric , Quentin Tarantino, Russell Gewirtz (Inside Man), Michael C. Martin (Brooklyn's Finest), Mark Boal (The Hurt Locker), and Andrew Kevin Walker come to mind.
            There are examples of first scripts that break through - but some of those examples are fiction.

            eg:

            Callie Khouri - First script was a sitcom. She didn't break through with that sitcom

            Quentin Tarantino - First script was 'My Best Friend's Birthday'. Certainly not his break though script !
            Interestingly he describes the film as 'pretty bad' but says that the experience he gained helped his later works.

            Michael C. Martin - He did a Film degree at Brooklyn College five years before he sold his first script. Do you think he hadn't written a screenplay during his film degree ?

            Andrew Kevin Walker - Wrote several low budget indie films before he broke through with Seven.

            etc

            Of course it can happen. (Russell Gewirtz is the obvious example) But it doesn't happen as often as you think it does!

            Good luck,

            Mac
            New blogposts:
            *Followup - Seeking Investors in all the wrong places
            *Preselling your film - Learning from the Experts
            *Getting your indie film onto iTunes
            *Case Study - Estimating Film profits

            Comment


            • Re: Incredibly Original Epic Script...but...

              Originally posted by Mac H. View Post
              There are examples of first scripts that break through - but some of those examples are fiction.

              eg:

              Callie Khouri - First script was a sitcom. She didn't break through with that sitcom

              Quentin Tarantino - First script was 'My Best Friend's Birthday'. Certainly not his break though script !
              Interestingly he describes the film as 'pretty bad' but says that the experience he gained helped his later works.

              Michael C. Martin - He did a Film degree at Brooklyn College five years before he sold his first script. Do you think he hadn't written a screenplay during his film degree ?

              Andrew Kevin Walker - Wrote several low budget indie films before he broke through with Seven.

              etc

              Of course it can happen. But it doesn't happen as often as you think it does!

              Good luck,

              Mac
              Ah I hear ya. Actually I was talking specifically about feature length screenplays. I have wrote several plays, graphic novel and comic book scripts, and short stories before even attempting to write a screenplay.

              Heck, at the age of seven I wrote a 10 page screenplay which I carried with me everywhere I went and showed it around to any sentient being I came across, haha! I still remember what it was about...centaurs or something.

              Imagine a seven year old black kid walking around with a script about centaurs and talking wolves in the streets of Detroit! Haha, pure comedy.

              Anyways, I hear ya. And I do fully agree with learning the craft before you get to the nitty gritty. But, again, not all writers...not all artists for that matter are created equal. Everyone has their own paths and their own journeys toward becoming a solid writer.

              So anyways, keep up the writing and I enjoy discussing this passion with all you cool cats.

              -Harrow

              Comment


              • Re: I have a script I feel is something very special...but..

                Originally posted by BrosHarrow View Post
                Not sure how you could come to the conclusion of anything substantial reading two pages of script.
                Actually, it's quite easy. Usually by the second page of any script you can tell if someone can write - or at the very least, tell if the writer has a firm grasp of the craft.

                Would be great if you could post a few pages. Surely some feedback on your pages could help you.
                @TerranceMulloy

                Comment


                • Re: I have a script I feel is something very special...but..

                  Originally posted by Terrance Mulloy View Post
                  Actually, it's quite easy. Usually by the second page of any script you can tell if someone can write - or at the very least, tell if the writer has a firm grasp of the craft.

                  Would be great if you could post a few pages. Surely some feedback on your pages could help you.
                  Irony at its finest.

                  Did you read the entirety of my post? I stated that yes you could tell if the writer has the ability to write, but not if the work itself was exceptional. This is the perfect example of why just reading a little tiny piece of a whole is just an exercise in futility.

                  Hope this doesn't come off as egotistical, but I don't need anyone else to validate whether I have the ability to write. I have had many people who I know, trust, respect and even some that I don't know at all, read the script and other scripts I have written(Graphic novel and short film), and validate that at the very I least have a firm grasp on the form.

                  I mean, I could post the pages, but then what? Either people will say these are just OK, nothing special, because of the context of the discussion. Or it satisfies something inside of them that he really isn't THAT good. That these pages aren't the most incredible or whatever things we writers think when going into a script with Great Expectations.

                  I could be wrong, but I really think its an exercise in futility. I didn't come to this forum to prove anything to anyone, I just wanted to get some good discussions going and mingle it up with fellow writers who share the same passion as I.

                  I would encourage you to read my entire post as I explained all of this...concisely yet long...winded...ly?

                  Haha...yeah.

                  BUT! I can email you the first opening sequence if you really would like to read it, but I don't want to post it on the forums, and only if I can trust you to keep it to yourself. I don't mind receiving feedback in the proper context.

                  Hit me with your email.

                  -Harrow

                  Comment


                  • Re: I have a script I feel is something very special...but..

                    Originally posted by BrosHarrow View Post
                    I could be wrong, but I really think its an exercise in futility.
                    You're not wrong. Your original question was answered about 15 pages ago, though this has been (somewhat) entertaining.

                    Good luck.

                    HH

                    Comment


                    • Re: I have a script I feel is something very special...but..

                      Originally posted by BrosHarrow View Post
                      BUT! I can email you the first opening sequence if you really would like to read it, but I don't want to post it on the forums, and only if I can trust you to keep it to yourself. I don't mind receiving feedback in the proper context.

                      Hit me with your email.

                      -Harrow
                      Thanks for the offer, but I already owe a ton of reads to people on this board.

                      Best of luck with your project. I hope it really is the "game changer" you claim it to be.

                      @TerranceMulloy

                      Comment


                      • Re: I have a script I feel is something very special...but..

                        Originally posted by Terrance Mulloy View Post
                        Thanks for the offer, but I already owe a ton of reads to people on this board.

                        Best of luck with your project. I hope it really is the "game changer" you claim it to be.


                        So, you ask me to post the pages, but when I say I will email them to you, you say you are too busy to read them?

                        Most curious, Sherlock. Most curious indeed.

                        Comment


                        • Re: I have a script I feel is something very special...but..

                          Originally posted by BrosHarrow View Post
                          So, you ask me to post the pages, but when I say I will email them to you, you say you are too busy to read them?

                          Most curious, Sherlock. Most curious indeed.

                          Not too busy - just that there's a lot of people who I already owe reads to. But it's all good. Email me 10 pages. If I like, I'll ask for more. My email is in my profile page.

                          Cheers. Look forward to it.
                          @TerranceMulloy

                          Comment


                          • Re: I have a script I feel is something very special...but..

                            Since quite a few people seem to be curious about the project, I will post something from another reply. This should answer many questions and at the very least satiate some people's curiosity without really giving too much away. Maybe even get some other ideas for the Logline.

                            1. Why after her Uncle's abuse does her Fairy Godmother appear?
                            This is a good question and while I am hesitant to divulge this info online...
                            Lets just say... in Cinderella, what prompts the Fairy Godmother to appear and help Cinderella?
                            The answers are somewhat similar on the surface. But, in the script, we will find a much deeper meaning of what motivates the Fairy Godmother, which I can't say.
                            What I will say is that in this story, the Fairy Godmother is a crucial character, not just someone who is ambiguous and pops out of nowhere, even though it may seem that way when we first meet her. She again, like all good characters, perpetuates and stimulates our core themes.


                            2. And why does she turn her into a creature of the night?
                            See above. I don't want to divulge this info online because it's part of what makes this particular fairy tale unique and I feel... emotionally powerful, bringing to light old themes in new ways. So...lets just say, it gives her the power to fight back against those who have oppressed her, but like all one-sided thought processes and/or emotionally charged decisions, comes with a price.
                            Lets say someone was bullying you at school. You asked your older brother to help. But, instead of teaching you how to talk your way out of fights or just stand up for yourself.... he gave you a .45 and said: "Handle yours. No mercy for the merciless".
                            Why would he do this? Because it points to his own character, his own heart and his own history and experiences.

                            Also - Where does becoming a ballerina fit into all this? It feels tacked on.

                            Yeah in the logline it certainly does. But, in the script, it's the heart and theme of the story. The battle between love and ambition. The passion to pursue a dream and the pitfalls and darkness that the epic journey that finding and chasing your dreams can lead you on. How to fit that in the Logline and not feel tacked on? This is where I am a babe, no experience. Which why we are here.


                            And does falling in love with one of her victims redeem her, or save her in any way? I.e: transform her back into a human?

                            It's possible.

                            Killing on Carnival Row and Pan were fresh and unique takes on old fairytales - which displayed a lot of talent. But they were also commercially viable ideas - executed effectively. Now, I'm not saying your script is not, but you need to see how it holds up to similar scripts that have sold.

                            To be honest, I feel that DELILAH has a very broad appeal. Most certainly international appeal. I call it "The Matrix of fairy tales". I think it will do for the fairy tale/fantasy genre what Matrix did for the sci-fi action genre.

                            Something that completely opens up new interpretations and goes much further than expected with the given realm of creative thought for that genre. Spec writing is certainly a business and you have to deliver a product that will SELL.

                            That was one of the main goals in the project's inception and conception. A story that has something for everyone. A woman's point of view on a deep subject that effects the very fabric of mankind's relationships with each other and also a man's. Action unlike anything we've ever seen, suspense, horror, surrealism at its finest and most thrilling, and a love story that echoes thousands of years. Think Pan's Labyrinth but with 20x its scale and depth. No offense, I really enjoyed Pan's.

                            But in our script we aren't just making a fairy tale, we have actually created an entire world. Complete with cultures, history, hierarchies, races, even hinting at a civil conflict within that world. Which is why it has been a little over two years in the making. Of the world, not the story of Delilah.

                            I feel you've got way too many elements crammed into the logline. And to be honest, from a spec writer's perspective, this might be a tricky one. This is not my genre(s) - so I don't know. I mean, is Hollywood buying these types of stories right now?

                            Was Hollywood buying scripts like The Matrix when it was bought? Sixth Sense? Star Wars? Blade Runner? Alien? Honestly, I don't know. But I feel there are certain stories that are just so different, compelling and unique that in ANY market they will sell.

                            Maybe this is just the nubile fascinations of a professional dreamer, but I truly believe that if something is ground-breaking and works on many critical and commercial levels, YOU create the trend, not chase it. And I agree, too many elements in the Logline.

                            It's very difficult to find the right sentence, the right flow and structure. Maybe you should look over the recent loglines and see if any of those strike you.
                            Maybe with the new info I have given you can better see the shape of the story.


                            Thanks for taking the time!

                            -Harrow

                            Comment


                            • Re: Incredibly Original Epic Script...but...

                              Originally posted by wcmartell View Post

                              - Bill (where did this thread come from? One minute it's 2 pages, then it's 15 pages!)
                              i know! i'm completely baffled by the people who have nothing to do all day but fart around on these boards. lol!

                              Comment


                              • Re: Incredibly Original Epic Script...but...

                                Originally posted by NikeeGoddess View Post
                                i know! i'm completely baffled by the people who have nothing to do all day but fart around on these boards. lol!
                                The idea of a person, who out of nowhere delivers something that is a big contribution to the given field, is very complex and dramatic theme and idea. ESPECIALLY to the people who work or are striving to work in the given field. It conjures so many emotions and viewpoints. I think discussion is great, as long as it can try and stay positive.

                                Comment

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