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Old 10-22-2012, 11:39 AM   #61
halloweenjak
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AE35-Unit View Post
"Saying you might need a plane crash to wake the audience up is moronic."

Enough with the plane crash. The plane doesn't crash nor will it.

Waking up the audience is probably more the key.

This is a love story not a disaster film. I see the drama aspect and all, but no effing plane crashes. Please.
Do you want this job or not?
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Old 10-22-2012, 11:48 AM   #62
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

"Do you want this job or not?"

Huh?
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Old 10-22-2012, 12:20 PM   #63
jonpiper
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AE35-Unit View Post

Enough with the plane crash. The plane doesn't crash nor will it.

Waking up the audience is probably more the key.

This is a love story not a disaster film. I see the drama aspect and all, but no effing plane crashes. Please. I could have cheaped out on that bullshit in the first draft.
Yeah, I think Emily and Asjah nailed it. Perhaps the story needs some big character driven "plane crashes."

Perhaps it's not a love story either and you need to rethink what your story is about. Maybe you should focus on your male protag's story and make some adjustments.

Have you seen or read Five Easy Pieces? It may help you. It was about a man who needs to find himself, somewhat like your protag.
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Old 10-22-2012, 12:34 PM   #64
halloweenjak
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

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Originally Posted by jonpiper View Post
Yeah, I think Emily and Asjah nailed it. Perhaps the story needs some big character driven "plane crashes."

Perhaps it's not a love story either and you need to rethink what your story is about. Maybe you should focus on your male protag's story and make some adjustments.

Have you seen or read Five Easy Pieces? It may help you. It was about a man who needs to find himself, somewhat like your protag.
Perhaps it's a story about dinosaurs. That would be exciting.
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Old 10-22-2012, 12:35 PM   #65
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

Sorry, I was going to leave this thread alone as I've hovered enough but I wanted to clarify.

Ill be honest, Im no more in tune than other voices on the forum who are new to storytelling. One thing I feel Im somewhat good at is finessing information from short directives. Maybe it comes from working around busy executives for a long time, I dunno. Quite often Im given a short direct point and its up to me to figure out the subtext.

Its.not.easy.

But who knows, perhaps this helps If Im given a short note like you were given, Id first ask myself: how is my drama? Is it engaging? What are the stakes? Are they high enough?

Spoilers for Always--
Example: in Always. Richard Dreyfuss has to face the fact that he wont ever again be with the love of his life. Not only that but shes on the verge of moving on. Not only that but the new guy is a pilot too. Not only that but hes a hotshot who could be greater than he was. Not only that but hes more sensitive, more charming, more engaging, more physically fit And not only that but moving on means letting go of life itself. So the personal romantic stakes and the tension of choosing his path are high every step of the way.
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Old 10-22-2012, 12:40 PM   #66
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AE35-Unit View Post
"Saying you might need a plane crash to wake the audience up is moronic."

Enough with the plane crash. The plane doesn't crash nor will it.

Waking up the audience is probably more the key.

This is a love story not a disaster film. I see the drama aspect and all, but no effing plane crashes. Please. I could have cheaped out on that bullshit in the first draft.
Ok. Why the flight lessons at all? Why does this guy want to learn how to fly?

There's a carefully-considered reason you chose that, I'm guessing. Right?
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Old 10-22-2012, 12:48 PM   #67
halloweenjak
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

[quote=asjah8;834193]Sorry, I was going to leave this thread alone as I've hovered enough but I wanted to clarify.

I’ll be honest, I’m no more in tune than other voices on the forum who are new to storytelling. One thing I feel I’m somewhat good at is finessing information from short directives. Maybe it comes from working around busy executives for a long time, I dunno. Quite often I’m given a short direct point and it’s up to me to figure out the subtext.

It’s.not.easy.

But who knows, perhaps this helps… If I’m given a short note like you were given, I’d first ask myself: how is my drama? Is it engaging? What are the stakes? Are they high enough?



You know where writers directives come from primarily?

Inside their skulls. See they're being paid for narrative acumen not to simply stitch together the directives of CEs and producers.

Or are they?

Hard to tell these days. Maybe screenwriters are just seamstresses stitching together the patchwork of others.
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Old 10-22-2012, 01:17 PM   #68
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

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Originally Posted by halloweenjak View Post
Perhaps it's a story about dinosaurs. That would be exciting.
OK, I'll bite, what are you really trying to say? I was trying to be helpful.
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Old 10-22-2012, 01:28 PM   #69
halloweenjak
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

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OK, I'll bite, what are you really trying to say? I was trying to be helpful.
Suggesting he change it from a love story isn't like saying use a different font.

You're saying change the DNA of your story, and if he's worth his salt he would see that suggestion as tacking another year or two onto the rewrite process.

Maybe that's helpful, but he's not getting any younger.

Of course all this is pointless as no ones read the script and can't make any accurate assessment of it's strengths or weaknesses.
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Old 10-22-2012, 01:35 PM   #70
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Default Re: Frustratingly unmarketable.

Halloweenjack, I think you misunderstand all of the given advice. Nobody is suggesting the OP change this from a love story. People are simply suggesting that perhaps given the notes he's received, he find a way to make this love story more interesting and dramatic. That's what writers do.
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