Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

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  • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

    Depending on how this all plays out, I think it would be great to see you fellows tackle an "amateur" script, since the original post was about what Cyfress sees in amateur writing. Just a thought.

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    • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

      This is an amateur script, you mean it's not a feature. Story is story though whether it's in 30 pages or 120. There will be characters going through something, chasing something, etc. Is there ways to make their path stronger, tougher, more dramatic? That's the question. Jeff will point out his ways, I will point out mine. Just, please Steve, don't forget to have a Clown eat a bowl of cereal on page ten. No script has ever failed with a Clown eating cereal on page ten.

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      • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

        Can't help but think this is going to end in tears for someone.

        Possibly ComicBent lol

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        • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

          Originally posted by Cyfress
          ... Just, please Steve, don't forget to have a Clown eat a bowl of cereal on page ten. No script has ever failed with a Clown eating cereal on page ten.
          Nutballs!!! I have a clown, but no cereal eating. I knew something was off.
          Just my 2 cents, your mileage may vary.

          -Steve Trautmann
          3rd & Fairfax: The WGAW Podcast

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          • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

            Originally posted by kidd44 View Post
            Depending on how this all plays out, I think it would be great to see you fellows tackle an "amateur" script, since the original post was about what Cyfress sees in amateur writing. Just a thought.

            Agreed. Good point, Kidd.

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            • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

              I take it from these comments that Steve is a professional writer?

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              • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

                Originally posted by JeffLowell View Post
                I take it from these comments that Steve is a professional writer?
                Not for the last couple of years, but yes. The script in question is the second spec pilot I ever wrote, and it's from 2013.
                Just my 2 cents, your mileage may vary.

                -Steve Trautmann
                3rd & Fairfax: The WGAW Podcast

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                • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

                  Good lord, the challenge that never ends! I don't care if Cyfress doesn't.

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                  • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

                    Originally posted by JeffLowell View Post
                    I take it from these comments that Steve is a professional writer?
                    I would never attempt to answer that, but seconded that statement merely as an observation and not to rock the boat, as this er... event is set and many of us will be watching with great interest.

                    My thought was more that Steve does have connections in and to the industry that are unique, and which most of us don't have. There are many on the boards who have never earned a dime writing, know no one in the industry and have zero writing credits. Perhaps it's a matter of how one defines 'amateur.' To stretch the point, if someone optioned a screenplay for $1 does that make them a 'professional?' My guess is we'd all agree no, though they've earned money screenwriting.

                    Again, Jeff, to be clear: I don't want to second guess anything or anyone's intentions, which I know are above-board. (I am glad --like many others here-- to have a professional's input here on DDP in any capacity you are willing to share.)

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                    • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

                      As long as we read the same material, I think it will be a fair contest Jeff.

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                      • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

                        Derek: Can't help but think this is going to end in tears for someone.

                        Possibly ComicBent lol
                        I'm pretty tough.

                        Of course, everyone is going to know who the author of each review is. But I will make sure that the two set are posted properly, with anonymity, on the board.

                        "The fact that you have seen professionals write poorly is no reason for you to imitate them." - ComicBent.

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                        • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

                          Showdown At The DD Corral.

                          Great so far. Tension is building.

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                          • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

                            I'll book all bets on Jeff. You have to lay $350 to win $100 on Jeff. Ah, reminds me of the good ole days.

                            In all honesty, I'm glad it's not some random TV pilot from an amateur. That would be too easy to point out deficiencies in the story. This is from a writer who has been paid to write, so I don't expect it to be in standard TV pilot shape that I've seen emailed to me. I just hope Jeff told all his writing buddies about it so they can really razz him around the set.

                            Like Jeff said, since this isn't a writing contest, I am the professional in this matchup as I am the one who is paid for this kind of thing.
                            Last edited by Cyfress; 12-29-2017, 08:04 PM.

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                            • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

                              Let's not denigrate writers by "amateur- status, Cyfress. I once challenged Jeff Lowell to a friendly writing competition six years ago when I was an amateur. Though I was beaten soundly, I had a great time and learned a lot.

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                              • Re: Things I see over and over in amateur writing...

                                Originally posted by Cyfress View Post
                                In all honesty, I'm glad it's not some random TV pilot from an amateur. That would be too easy to point out deficiencies in the story. This is from a writer who has been paid to write, so I don't expect it to be in standard TV pilot shape that I've seen emailed to me...
                                Don't get your hopes up too high. This is only the second pilot I ever wrote, and before I did a deep-dive analysis of sitcom pilots and series. There are definitely weak points, and I resisted the impulse to do a quick rewrite. I did roll through and polish a bit (a typo and some cutting). I also added one Harvey Weinstein line because there's a reference to sexual harassment.
                                Just my 2 cents, your mileage may vary.

                                -Steve Trautmann
                                3rd & Fairfax: The WGAW Podcast

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