I need help from someone with writing experience

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  • I need help from someone with writing experience

    I am a young writer and I wrote this screenplay about a christian man who's life is turned upside down by a series of catastrophic incidents and through it all and while trying to get his life back on track, he discovers the truth about God and religion. I hopefully plan on directing myself but before I go any further forward with the screenplay, I was wondering if someone here who has writing or screenwriting experience, could read and critique for me, to see if they think the story's good or not or needs work.

  • #2
    Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

    Hi,

    Are you looking for someone to actually read the whole script, or just review the story?

    If the latter then I'd suggest posting something on the Story Development forum. Other users can then offer suggests as to whether they feel the outline/story/structure works. If you stress that you're relatively early in your career I'm sure people won't go crazy and will do their best to offer pointers.

    If you want someone to read the full script then that's a much bigger ask; you'd probably need to seduce people with more details of the story, maybe a few pages on the Script Pages forum to give them a taster.

    All the best,


    JJ.
    My stuff

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

      Originally posted by Jon Jay View Post
      Hi,

      Are you looking for someone to actually read the whole script, or just review the story?

      If the latter then I'd suggest posting something on the Story Development forum. Other users can then offer suggests as to whether they feel the outline/story/structure works. If you stress that you're relatively early in your career I'm sure people won't go crazy and will do their best to offer pointers.

      If you want someone to read the full script then that's a much bigger ask; you'd probably need to seduce people with more details of the story, maybe a few pages on the Script Pages forum to give them a taster.

      All the best,


      JJ.

      Well I will say I am early on in my career, to the point that, this is my first time writing a screenplay, before I just wrote and produced like local stage plays and such but yeah, I was hoping to have someone just read through the script and tell me what they think of it, if it's great or not or whatnot. I know that's a hard thing to ask for but I'd rather have the script right before I start contacting actors than to contact actors and send them a crappy screenplay and they look at me like an idiot.

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      • #4
        Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

        Like I said, maybe post the first 5-10 pages on the Script Pages forum, then if people like them they can approach you for the full thing. I've seen that happen a few times - I've asked for full scripts after reading a few pages.

        Asking for a full script read out of nowhere is tricky because it's a big commitment, and if the volunteer reading thinks it sucks after three pages they may feel a moral obligation to keep going, seeing as they offered to read it in the first place. Whereas if you've posted some pages they can first satisfy themselves that you can at least string a few scenes together.

        At the very least I'd put a synopsis up to give people an idea of the story - genre, style, setting etc. Market yourself a bit more!

        All the best,


        JJ.
        My stuff

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

          Like Jon Jay said, your best bet is to post the first 3 pages or so in the Script Pages section of this forum. A lot of people are getting great feedback on their openings, and if what you've got there strikes someone's interest, they might be willing to read more.

          From your original post, I'm assuming the script is similar to conservative evangelical movies like Fireproof, Courageous, God's Not Dead, etc., is that correct?

          Also, you've finished the first draft, yes? How many pages is it, and is it in industry format?

          EDIT: Oops! JJ beat me to the response, haha

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          • #6
            Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

            If you're prepared to receive frank and honest criticism I'll be happy to look at the first ten pages.
            If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
            Dave Barry

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            • #7
              Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

              Not to be a Debbie Downer but is it a first draft? You should probably do a fair few drafts before filming anything.

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              • #8
                Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

                Originally posted by TheConnorNoden View Post
                Not to be a Debbie Downer but is it a first draft? You should probably do a fair few drafts before filming anything.

                This is my sixth and final draft and I think I've finally gotten it ready for filming....hopefully..

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                • #9
                  Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

                  I've been working on my garden landscaping, not quite sure it's right, could you come by and put in a couple of hours moving dirt for me?

                  Kidding...but you get the idea? It really is a big ask of a bunch of strangers. If someone says yes, are you offering to do the same for them from the perspective of a budding director? Maybe your opinion and thoughts could be of value?

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                  • #10
                    Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

                    Sorry to see you haven't received any great results as far as reading your script goes - save for Centurio. It sucks that with a ton of talented writers here, no one really offers to read each others stuff, making it just that much harder to get started. I'm sure everyone has their own reasons and what not. Anyway! PM me. I'll read your script and hopefully I can offer some good feedback/notes.

                    All the best.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

                      Originally posted by Filmmagician View Post
                      It sucks that with a ton of talented writers here, no one really offers to read each others stuff, making it just that much harder to get started. I'm sure everyone has their own reasons and what not. Anyway! PM me. I'll read your script and hopefully I can offer some good feedback/notes.
                      It's really very nice of you to volunteer to read this script. I hope the writer takes you up on it. As far as being disappointed that the experienced writers don't volunteer... there's a reason for this. At least, here's my reason for not doing it.

                      I'm busy, first of all. I get scripts from my manager to read for my take for rewrite jobs. I occasionally have to read books for my take on adaptation jobs. Just read one a week ago, pitched my take, and am waiting to hear if I got it. I have friends and colleagues who would like me to read new scripts for my opinions and notes. They come first because... well... they'll also read mine for the same reason.

                      Those are good reasons.... but the main reason is that when I have read scripts from people I do not know in the past and when I am honest with how bad their script is, and 99% of the time they are really bad from new writers, most of the time I get grief. Ranging from disbelief to downright nasty. It's not worth it. I have enough to do.

                      If I have networked with someone or they have networked with me and they make a genuine effort to get to know me, then after a relationship is established, when I have time, I will read a script. And usually, because a relationship is established, there is no grief. And there is your reason for me, and my guess, the reason for 99% of the other writers on here.

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                      • #12
                        Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

                        "Those are good reasons.... but the main reason is that when I have read scripts from people I do not know in the past and when I am honest with how bad their script is, and 99% of the time they are really bad from new writers, most of the time I get grief. Ranging from disbelief to downright nasty. It's not worth it. I have enough to do."

                        Absolutely, Ed. Not that the OP is that way, but my blood runs cold every time a new writer asks me to read their work. It seems they only want to hear how great their writing is, rather than get constructive advice on how to improve it.

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                        • #13
                          Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

                          Originally posted by Filmmagician View Post
                          Sorry to see you haven't received any great results as far as reading your script goes - save for Centurio. It sucks that with a ton of talented writers here, no one really offers to read each others stuff, making it just that much harder to get started. .
                          Hang on. That's totally wrong.

                          1) He was given a suggestion to post it in the password protected section of the site for feedback.
                          2) He did it.
                          3) He got plenty of feedback on his first 10 pages.

                          Link to pages and feedback here: http://messageboard.donedealpro.com/...ad.php?t=77214

                          After all the assistance that he was given from people here .. it's a bit rough to accuse the people here of not trying to help.

                          -- Mac
                          New blogposts:
                          *Followup - Seeking Investors in all the wrong places
                          *Preselling your film - Learning from the Experts
                          *Getting your indie film onto iTunes
                          *Case Study - Estimating Film profits

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                          • #14
                            Re: I need help from someone with writing experience

                            It's the smart play, especially early on, to ask for anything from a 5-20 page critique for the reasons I'm pretty much at the tail end of a conga line in repeating here. We're all busy as hell, and for people like me we barely have time to crack our own pages.

                            Also, a partial read is really a great damn tool for another reason; if it works that well, people will want more. If they give you a general thumbs up but stop there... well, okay, right track but clearly not good enough.

                            I think the moment I decided I could do this is when my harried college instructor agreed to read the first twenty of my script over the course of two weeks. I gave him the whole thing to keep it in one place, and he wound up finishing the entire thing in two days.

                            Just remember that much; write each page with the goal of making the next one a necessary goal for the reader.

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