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Old 02-15-2015, 02:54 AM   #1
dpaterso
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Default Results - Valentine's Day 2015 contest

Here are the results of the 2015 Valentine's Day contest:

Code:
Title Author Total 1st 2nd 3rd What Happens in Vegas Jai Brandon 7 3 1 Lucky Devil Margie 12 3 1 1 The New Girl Shutout 4 1 2 A Novel Idea bmcthomas 11 3 2 With Love From Russia dpaterso 8 1 2 1
1st place vote = 3 points, 2nd = 2 points, 3rd = 1 point.

Congrats to Margie for garnering most votes with Lucky Devil. bmcthomas came a close second with A Novel Idea. Well done all for writing to theme and deadline, which is what these little contests are probably all about. Practice, practice, practice.

Thanks also to ChickenScratch, Road Warrior and Rich Weems for taking time to read and vote, much appreciated.

All contestants voted, so no need to include the voting bonus to even things out.

Don't feel bad if you didn't score as highly as you wished, that doesn't mean your entry was bad, it just means other entries got more votes!

Feel free to discuss the results and comment on the entries in this thread.

Thanks all for making the contest fun!

For posterity, the discussion thread is here and the entries thread is here.
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Old 02-16-2015, 12:21 AM   #2
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Default Re: Results - Valentine's Day 2015 contest

It was a small contest with a small turnout, and I fear even the outcome has gone unnoticed, but such is life...

Anyways, my comments on the entries. Apply salt to taste.

What Happens in Vegas...

Reads well enough, and had its moments, but I gotta confess I was turned off by the visiting aliens reveal, which felt stale (overdone, overused, seen-it-before, too often). And the Italian mobsters running the casino felt like Rent-a-Cliche, I didn't think they were amoosing enough. Maybe needs more Pesci, I dunno. But mostly, the aliens.

Lucky Devil

Clever, but also complicated! Opening with the tough guy/mob hit man lookalike who's running for school councillor threw me off, the mismatch, I mean, I think you could have come up with a more relevant (love related?) problem in this mini-teaser scene. Morgan was fun, but Andre is painted as a total deceiving alky loser up until that cute ending, which made me wonder (and doubt) if it has any chance of working out.

The New Girl

Solutions come too easily in this one, alas. If only cute girls turned up out of nowhere and were attracted to loner nerds, if only nerds could suddenly develop super strength, if only bullies were so easy to topple... then life would be a whole lot nicer! That's what made this entry kinda unbelievable, for me.

A Novel Idea

Fun read, clever, made me smile, this was the clear winner for me.

With Love From Russia

Mine! I feel I should apologize. And yet, fun to write. Sorry anyway! (You know it was probably prompted by this ****wit of a discussion.)
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Old 02-16-2015, 07:46 AM   #3
Margie Kaptanoglu
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Default Re: Results - Valentine's Day 2015 contest

Hi All,

Thanks very much for your votes that allowed me to squeak by as the winner. I forgot to ask what the prize would be. A paid vacation to the Bahamas? One hundred copies of Final Draft? Wait, I know. I bet itís a free entry into next yearís contest!

I know this is the lazy route, but I pretty much agree with Derekís comments on the scripts above, including his comments on mine. A Novel Idea was also the clear winner to me; clever concept, well-written, funny.

Derek, on yours, Iím afraid it was uninvolving because of the cliches. I realize itís a satire, but thatís the danger in satirizing something that is already so ubiquitous itís like a satire of itself. Satirizing Bond and making it interesting is a tough job. Also the ending didnít work for me. Just didnít feel like she would care enough to bother getting revenge.

Thanks for running the contest. I enjoyed reading all the entries.
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Old 02-16-2015, 03:28 PM   #4
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Default Re: Results - Valentine's Day 2015 contest

Quote:
Originally Posted by Margie Kaptanoglu View Post
Thanks very much for your votes that allowed me to squeak by as the winner. I forgot to ask what the prize would be. A paid vacation to the Bahamas? One hundred copies of Final Draft? Wait, I know. I bet itís a free entry into next yearís contest!
I had a box of chocolates as first prize, but I ate 'em! Meh, Valentine's Day always depresses me, don't judge me. So you're dead right, free entry for the next one is your grand prize, enjoy!

Quote:
Derek, on yours, Iím afraid it was uninvolving because of the cliches. I realize itís a satire, but thatís the danger in satirizing something that is already so ubiquitous itís like a satire of itself. Satirizing Bond and making it interesting is a tough job. Also the ending didnít work for me. Just didnít feel like she would care enough to bother getting revenge.
That was always the danger! Reasonable point, well made. Still fun to write, though! And there's the million-to-one long shot that prodcos surfing these threads now know who to contact if they're looking for an action/spy thriller script!
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Old 02-16-2015, 05:54 PM   #5
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Default Re: Results - Valentine's Day 2015 contest

As an uninvolved bystander, I think the clear winner was A Novel Idea, with Lucky Devil a close second. Agree with Derek's comments regarding the opening for Lucky Devil, but I'm okay with the ending as it fits the whole premise.
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Old 02-16-2015, 06:29 PM   #6
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Default Re: Results - Valentine's Day 2015 contest

What Happens in Vegas: Wasn't there an "aliens visit Vegas" entry last year as well? This one, I think, went on too long. Once the wife says "may the Force be with you" we get the joke. All you really need is for wiseguys to take him outside, cut away, the fwoosh of a lightsaber.

Lucky Devil: Clever and funny, but would be more effective if it was more straightforward. Morgan makes a deal with the devil for her perfect man. She gets him. He is revealed to be not so perfect.

New Girl: This was like pasta with no sauce. It's fine. But all the choices made were the most predictable ones possible.

With Love From Russia: I really struggled with this. I thought it was funny and James Bond is certainly spoofable, but on the heels of that ugly Bond thread, I didn't know quite what was being made fun of here. Without knowing the writer, I wondered if the idea of a black Bond was being mocked - "see, a black Bond is so ludicrous that it would become a parody of itself!" And giving Bond a "black" name - because a Black bond couldn't be just Bond? I'm overthinking, and if we hadn't had that thread, I probably wouldn't have those thoughts in mind.
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Old 02-17-2015, 02:25 AM   #7
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Default Re: Results - Valentine's Day 2015 contest

Yeah sorry 'bout that, it was a, uh, serious parody, no mocking intended. Kinda fell flat. My bad.
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Old 02-17-2015, 03:30 PM   #8
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Default Re: Results - Valentine's Day 2015 contest

One of the entries, I think it was the winner, had me chuckling at one point, it was late, I was only half reading and that chuckle, came very naturally. I think that's rare and hard for a writer to achieve, but it was also partly because the writing was confident but relaxed and therefore natural, maybe there is something in that... rather than all this analysis we do, you just either react, or you don't to writing.

Way above all of that malarky, though, entering is what counts. Without entrants, no contest, no comparisons. No fun.
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