Agent jokes

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  • #16
    Re: Agent jokes

    Two agents are having lunch. A hot girl walks by. Agent A: "Wow, I'd like to fu<k her." Agent b: "out of what?"

    (caution: this may actually be a lawyer joke)
    ==========

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    • #17
      Re: Agent jokes

      It looks like a tie between, "what's in it for me?" and "90% of my money!"

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      • #18
        Re: Agent jokes

        Hey, Mr karate, I was just poking some fun at the joke and peeling the onion back. Heat is contagious, this lone gunman couldn't figure out if he liked it until someone else liked it, once that caught fire he just watched the neighborhood burn as the fire jumped from one house to the next.

        Maybe one exec liked it because someone else liked it, and maybe the heat was started because one person liked it and another didn't want to go against the trend.
        "A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."
        AYN RAND

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        • #19
          Re: Agent jokes

          A Hollywood agent, a Brooklyn lawyer and a used car salesman from Peoria are gathered around a coffin containing the body of an old screenwriter friend.

          One of the three says, "In my family, we have a custom of giving the dead some money, so they'll have it to spend on the other side." They all agree that this is appropriate, so the car salesman drops a hundred dollar bill into the casket, and the lawyer does the same.

          The agent takes out the bills, and writes a check for $300.
          TimeStorm & Blurred Vision Book info & blog: https://stormingtime.com//

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          • #20
            Re: Agent jokes

            Originally posted by belac View Post
            Hey, Mr karate, I was just poking some fun at the joke and peeling the onion back. Heat is contagious, this lone gunman couldn't figure out if he liked it until someone else liked it, once that caught fire he just watched the neighborhood burn as the fire jumped from one house to the next.

            Maybe one exec liked it because someone else liked it, and maybe the heat was started because one person liked it and another didn't want to go against the trend.
            Mr. Karate's my dad; no need to be so formal.

            I really just didn't understand if you were joking or what, but that's probably my fault. Either way, your assessment is sickeningly accurate in a lot of cases. =/

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            • #21
              Re: Agent jokes

              Okay, Mrs. Karate. Does Grandpa Karate jump out of a file cabinet?
              "A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."
              AYN RAND

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              • #22
                Re: Agent jokes

                I just read my husband all these jokes. WE WANT MORE, PLEASE!!!
                sigpic http://blip.fm/Peasblossom

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                • #23
                  Re: Agent jokes

                  Modified this one myself for fun.

                  How many agents does it take to screw in a
                  light bulb?


                  1: Sorry, we're not screwing in any new light
                  bulbs anymore. But have you considered turning
                  your light bulb into maybe... an animated candle?


                  2: Oh yes, I screwed in your light bulb, but I
                  haven't had a chance to turn it on yet. Just keeping it green.


                  3: Loved your light bulb. Great light. Lots of
                  illumination but there was no spark.

                  4. Sounds like a great light bulb, but we have a competing light bulb. I'm sorry, I have to ask, how did you get my cell number?

                  5. We're just going to wait for it to turn itself. We'll call you though.

                  6. What makes you think we would know how to screw anything? Beat. Don't answer that.

                  7. Not sure... not my genre.

                  8. None. We will hand the bulb to an A-lister and let the world revolve around them.
                  "Take the thing you love, and make it your life"--Californication. [email protected]

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                  • #24
                    Re: Agent jokes

                    Is it pathetic that this is my favourite thread ever?
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                    • #25
                      Re: Agent jokes

                      Originally posted by nic.h View Post
                      Is it pathetic that this is my favourite thread ever?
                      I'm pretty sure that it's everyone's favorite thread ever.
                      If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
                      Dave Barry

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                      • #26
                        Re: Agent jokes

                        Originally posted by SBScript View Post
                        Here's another one. A writer returns home to find his house on fire, his dog dead, all his belongings scattered across the lawn. A cop takes him aside and says, "I'm sorry, but apparently your agent called you and then drove over here, killed your dog, lit your house on fire and trashed your belongings." The writer responded, "Wait a minute, my agent called?!"
                        turned up just a notch --


                        A screenwriter returns home after a long
                        evening's work of waiting tables, only to find
                        his house a pile of smoldering rubble. Policemen
                        and firemen poke grimly through the remains. The
                        writer leaps out of his car and runs over to a
                        detective. "Oh God! My house! What happened?
                        Where are my wife and children?"


                        The cop says, "I'm sorry sir. I'm afraid your
                        agent came to your house, slaughtered your
                        family, burned your home to the ground, and then
                        danced on the rubble in hobnailed boots."


                        The writer looks at the detective, excited, and
                        says, "My agent came to my house?"

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                        • #27
                          Re: Agent jokes

                          I liked these jokes, but didn't love them. They weren't quite what I'm looking for. Good luck with them.

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                          • #28
                            Re: Agent jokes

                            Originally posted by ylekot43 View Post
                            Modified this one myself for fun.

                            How many agents does it take to screw in a
                            light bulb?

                            8. None. We will hand the bulb to an A-lister and let the world revolve around them.
                            Steven Palmer Peterson

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                            • #29
                              Re: Agent jokes

                              O.k. - here's a challenge. I just wrote this undirty limerick (can't seem to write pornography even when I try). Someone, please, make it more interesting!



                              There once was an agent from L.A.
                              He rarely thought any scripts o.k.
                              But when one script he'd turned down,
                              won awards all around town,
                              He wished it had been one that he'd found.
                              sigpic http://blip.fm/Peasblossom

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                              • #30
                                Re: Agent jokes

                                What's the difference between a vampire bat and a WE agent?


                                One is a fearless, evil, bloodsucking monster, and the other is a small,harmless, mouse-like creature with wings.
                                "All of us trying to be the camera behind the camera behind the camera. The last story in line. The Truth" Chuck Palahniuk - Haunted

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