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Old 10-15-2008, 04:14 PM   #11
Cayden Black
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Default Re: Detailing the "plan" to be carried out! Help please!

KeenGuy, tha son... you both make excellent points. I never considered "the getting out" part of Ocean's 11. And Dark Knight's opening is actually what I'm wondering if I could get away with something similar near the "first turning point", etc. without laying it out for the audience.
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:32 PM   #12
Raw_and_Vital
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Default Re: Detailing the "plan" to be carried out! Help please!

Cayden

Okay, that clears up some things.

Well, if I understand correctly, the protagonist is basically the only one who needs this money, hence he constructs a plan/heist.

Why are his friends pulled into any of this?

IF the gang HAS to be pulled into this plan/heist, perhaps that's something you would want to focus on in more detail.

This could be their reason for being pulled into the plan/heist.

Maybe the protag had this perfect plan, a heist to get rich. What if one of his friends stumbles upon this Plan (maybe at a party he is having)? Maybe the protagonist's plan was all worked out and written in a couple notebooks. What if one of his close friends stumbles upon this and ponders if it's for real or a joke... He then takes a copy to the rest of the gang and asks for their opinion.

During all of this, the plan can be revealed in bits and pieces through dialog between "the gang". Since they are all college students I am guessing, they might want a piece of the $$$ as well. I mean hell, paying off college loans, not a pretty thing.

You can also dig into some characters during all this. Maybe a friend in the group, aka the gang is a outspoken kind of guy and he convinces all of them to force/convince the protag to let them be apart of this heist. IF NOT, they will turn him in or something of the sort. So, with no other choice, he agrees.

You can also base a twist of the protags decision. Maybe he alters the plan and convinces them the copy they have is the current, up to date plan.

Maybe it was his plan all along to intentionally have them stumble upon the plan/notebook and he makes them do all the footwork and take the fall WITHOUT them not even being aware of it until it's too late.

Sorry if I am rambling. What do you think?
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Last edited by Raw_and_Vital : 10-15-2008 at 11:03 PM.
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Old 10-15-2008, 10:56 PM   #13
Cayden Black
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Default Re: Detailing the "plan" to be carried out! Help please!

No please do, ramble. I'm grateful of your advice.

You're close.

The gang consists of 3 college guys

2 of them need the money, the 3rd is along for the ride so to speak, but he's vital to the rest of the plot.

The plan is hatched and brought to them by the main guys ex-girlfriend.

Off-camera: the other two guys are let in on what the main guy wants to do, there's some resistance, but later the main guy alters the plan just a little and this is the portion where I am wondering if I must place on screen or if I can leave it off.

Also taking into consideration some of the things mentioned above, I decided to go take a look at a couple of "crime" related scripts and I was able to find one that is almost identical to what I am trying to accomplish. It's Walter Hill's "The Getaway". They set up what they are doing, but they don't tell what they are going to do, before they actually do it.

I appreciate all of your help and advice. I will be sure to credit you during my interview after the sale of the script.
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Old 10-15-2008, 11:10 PM   #14
Raw_and_Vital
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Default Re: Detailing the "plan" to be carried out! Help please!

Well, I think you are on the right track then.

In regards to the Protag altering the plan slightly, just enough to pull a flip flop from under their noses.... NO! keep that for the twist. Have fun with it, come up with a clever way of showing it.

Look at Shawshank Redemption. If we were in on Andy's plan it would not have the same effect. I think it *HITS HARD* the way they executed it.

Perhaps save your reveal of the altered plan for the end or for a twist.


HA HA HA, here I am trying to give advice to fellow writers when I can't even punch my way out of a wet paper bag with my own writing hiccups!.! SHEESH!
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Old 10-16-2008, 12:02 PM   #15
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Default Re: Detailing the "plan" to be carried out! Help please!

In Armored, I also thought the sense of him being a part of the plan, and us knowing the plan, heightened the betrayal...The betrayal/twist was used to spark the rest of the story of his survival inside/outside the truck.
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Old 10-16-2008, 01:48 PM   #16
Cayden Black
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Default Re: Detailing the "plan" to be carried out! Help please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raw_and_Vital View Post
Well, I think you are on the right track then.

In regards to the Protag altering the plan slightly, just enough to pull a flip flop from under their noses.... NO! keep that for the twist. Have fun with it, come up with a clever way of showing it.

Look at Shawshank Redemption. If we were in on Andy's plan it would not have the same effect. I think it *HITS HARD* the way they executed it.

Perhaps save your reveal of the altered plan for the end or for a twist.


HA HA HA, here I am trying to give advice to fellow writers when I can't even punch my way out of a wet paper bag with my own writing hiccups!.! SHEESH!
Cool. Thanks for the assistance. If I can possibly help with your "hiccups" feel free to post'em and we'll see what we can do.
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Old 10-16-2008, 02:24 PM   #17
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Default Re: Detailing the "plan" to be carried out! Help please!

"The weakest thing you could do, though, is have the characters describe exactly what's going to happen in the heist, and then have exactly that happen.

Thinking that, that would be perfectly fine to leave out that portion and just have them go straight into the execution of said plan."

I think you figured out the answer for yourself, and the other posters did a great job in advising on this point.

Let me just add another movie, A SIMPLE PLAN, which takes ARMORED's position on this question. A "simple plan" is hatched, but the resulting action ironically demonstrates that the plan was anything but simple. The resulting ACTION belies the EXPOSITION.

The exposition also creates tension. We know that it's not going to be that easy, especially when we consider this bunch of shady characters.

Great question, great responses.
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