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  • Coverage Service

    2017 UPDATE: It seems people keep coming to this thread for information. That's great! But as people have noted, the replies are a bit old. This has led to questions of if I am still doing coverage after all of these years.

    I am still providing coverage!

    A more up-to-date thread with more feedback from writers can be found here: http://messageboard.donedealpro.com/...ad.php?t=78768

    You can also find more information at www.FourStarNotes.com or by emailing me directly.

    UPDATED: NEW QUESTIONS JUST BEFORE THE COVERAGE. THANK YOU FOR THE POSITIVE RESPONSE!

    Hello, Done Deal Pro members! I’ve been lurking your forums for some time now. I have an immense amount of respect for your community. I hope I’m not breaking any forum rules by posting this advertisement. If so, I sincerely apologize.

    I have been doing coverage for about eight years now. I spent a year each at two different development studios, then joined a film crew that took on a lot of small-scale projects. While I was with the crew, I continued doing coverage, while also providing notes for the scripts we did take on. After breaking with that group, I mostly left the film industry, but I continued doing coverage via Craigslist and similar outlets.

    Recently, I have been trying to perform more coverage while also getting my name out there. My customers have always been pleased by my quick turnaround and low prices, but they tend to be isolated writers. I was hoping that posting on a place like Done Deal Pro would lead to steadier work.

    ***

    As for what I provide:

    $30 Package
    : This coverage comes in three parts. The first page is a summary, which is there to show customers that I read the script closely and how I broke down the major beats. The second page is a general, single-spaced review of the material. I provide a PASS / CONSIDER / RECOMMEND rating (I avoid CONSIDER WITH REVISIONS, since I find it doesn’t really communicate any clear opinion). Finally, there is at least one single-spaced page that details the script’s biggest strengths, flaws, and development prospects.

    $100 Package – This includes everything above, but I also provide line-by-line notes that are composed as I read the script. Generally speaking, these notes tend to be 18 pages long. They include typos, format errors, and general opinions that are expanded upon in the standard coverage.

    For both packages, I provide one month of follow-up emails.

    ***

    My turnaround is about four days to a week. I used to have a “Get it in 24 hours or it’s free!” deal, but I’ve suspended it due to high demand.

    Stylistically, I focus on the flaws of a script. I try to make it clear from the beginning that I feel criticisms are more useful to a writer, not compliments. I’m sure the Done Deal Pro community gets this, but for your average writer, it can be a bit shocking to see a big list of flaws.

    ***

    FAQ:

    Why should we use you instead of any of the other, established readers?

    In terms of quality and experience, I feel that I am in-line with other readers. I lack the ability to forward material to contacts, so I try to provide value above all else. I keep my prices low and my coverage is longer than what you will find at most outlets.

    Most of my customers have told me that they used my services as a way to quickly receive additional notes while waiting on another service. This is another reason why I keep my prices low.

    Can I see an example of your coverage?

    Of course! There is one at the end of this post. For reasons of privacy, I have to omit certain words.

    How do I know you’re not a con artist?

    I don’t bill people until the notes are completed. I send the bill via PayPal at the same time I send the notes. I rely on the honor system for payment. I have never had someone fail to pay.

    ***

    NEW QUESTIONS:

    Do you cover TV shows, comic books, shorts, or other projects? If so, what is the rate?

    I am willing to cover all of those, but I generally charge the same for the basic coverage ($30). For line-by-line notes, because length matters more, I drop the price down to $75 for hour and half-hour shows.

    For short-form material like half-hour shows, the writer can submit two or three episodes at once and I can then cover them all in one package. Often, I address odd situations like half-hour shows and comic books on a case-by-case basis.

    What payment system do you use?

    I use PayPal Invoice. You don't need to have a PayPal account and you can use a credit card if you want.

    ***

    Sample Coverage:


    In more ways than one, this script feels more like a novel than a script. On the most basic level, the action is written like narration. We have fully realized characters here, but much of their initial personality comes from anecdotes within the action, not actual, shown moments. Several good beats are sabotaged by unnecessary internal descriptions. For example, ***** getting flustered is nice. Being told in the narration that she never gets flustered isn’t. The intimate writing style could be a strong point, but it has to abide by the rules of the format.

    There’s also a lot of discussion about what characters think in this project, but the truth is that the script does a good enough job of showing it anyway. The motivations of ***** and *****, along with the surrounding supporting cast, are all strong, if a bit too centralized on the main pair. The meet-cute, along with the establishment of ***** and *****’s conflicting ideologies, is well handled. The writer manages to make us side with ***** on something like the restoration of a house without forcing us to begrudge ***** for his opinions.

    The plot is fairly simple, though the sudden contrivance of ***** dating ***** is more frustrating that it is surprising. It loses its grounded nature about midway through with an outrageous party, and seems to struggle with keeping ***** and ***** as the central focus of the piece. After the party sequence, which is probably the proper climax of the script, the story spins its wheels until the conclusion.

    There’s also a decent amount of padding, such as characters reflecting on their feelings and previous actions. It lends a television feel or, again, suggests that this story might be better suited to prose.

    From the perspective of attracting talent, this script has a few issues. While audiences might enjoy ***** getting pushed into a relationship by *****, her passive attitude for an early chunk of the script will turn off female talent. ***** has the stronger arc of the two, but even he winds up mostly reacting to the demands of *****. These leads need active goals to pursue and more difficult choices to make.

    All that said, there is potential in here. Every so often we have an older romance that garners a strong audience. This isn’t so much The 40 Year Old Virgin as it is Something’s Gotta Give. The writer would do well to read that latter film’s script a few times, along with similar projects, to find ways to enrich the existing plot.

    This is a PASS as is, but the framework is solid enough to merit future readings. I would peg this as being about three full drafts from being worth another take. The format in particular needs to be cleaned up before it’s brought before managers or public review companies like The Black List. The writer herself has a few fairly rare talents, notably being able to write convincing teenagers, which should merit further reading of any future work.

    GREATEST STRENGTHS:

    SMALL DETAILS: When the writer chooses to convey something visually, she does so with convincing authority and clarity. The description of two white boards, one at home and one at work, conveys a lot of information about *****. It’s a great example of this script’s potential.

    VOICES OF FAMILY MEMBERS: Dialogue for children is often forced and unrealistic, but this script has two young boys who sound completely convincing. ***** avoids the clichés of an angst-ridden teenager, and ***** is a good portrait of the difficult to realize preteen child. ***** also works as a working mother. She’s independent, but not overbearing.

    WIT: The aloof nature of this script makes it easy to fall into its rhythm and laugh at its jokes. [REDACTED EXAMPLE]. Even ones that probably shouldn’t be amusing to a professional reader (like naming a character ***** or using the unnecessary sub-line “removing foot from mouth”) elicit a chuckle. Some gags, like the “Best Time Ever” bit, do run a bit too long.

    *****’S GRIEF: ***** doesn’t grieve openly in the piece, but small moments like her knowing, to the day, how long it has been since husband died are very moving. It’s a very mature and authentic take on a surviving partner.


    GREATEST WEAKNESSES:


    FORMATTING: The title page is improperly formatted. The contact info should be on the bottom left. The title and attribution is also repeated on the first page, which is simply not correct. The title page also includes a footnote that, while amusing, should be presented as a title card.

    There are also some awkward issues, such as “cutting him off” being used in the action, when it should rather be in parentheses under the cutting-off character’s name. We also have things like “From OFF SCREEN” being used, but that is not necessary in a proper script when you have (O.S.), which this project uses. Issues like this do a disservice to the basic material and will suggest to readers that the writer isn’t fully versed in the format.

    TELLING, NOT SHOWING: Certain parts of this script read like a short story, not a script. We’re told certain details that we cannot infer on screen, such as ***** “appearing composed in all aspects of her life – – even when she isn’t.” More distressing is complete narration such as, “You might not know it from this exchange, but these three are super tight.”

    EXPOSITION: Conversely, certain details have been inserted into the dialogue, dragging it down. For example: ***** recaps her status as a widow early on, while ***** needlessly points out ***** handing him an article later. Often, characters will simply talk for too long. Consider *****’s lines at the end of page 23: Her admission that she liked the man who so suddenly pushed her away is a nice beat. The following exposition regarding the finer points of her internal reaction ruins it.

    SETTING: We don’t get much of a description of certain surroundings. From the enthusiasm of the writing, it’s clear that the writer has a vision for every scene. However, without even a single line to describe most areas, we don’t get to glimpse it.

    NARRATIVE COHESION: Simply put, this script drops certain plotlines and characters for too long. Some of the padding could be replaced with the subplot involving the house restoration. What could be a source of interesting developments is mostly kept away until the final scenes. ***** is a good deal of fun, but she disappears for long stretches of time.

    DEVELOPMENT PROSPECTS:
    In terms of a potential audience, this would succeed most in front of an older, 30-50 demographic. That has always been a reliable source for small viewers. Unfortunately, most projects of that nature, like the aforementioned Something’s Gotta Give, have a few key stars to draw in large audiences and, more importantly, funding. Neither ***** nor ***** provides enough conflict and charisma to hook talent right now.

    The alternative option is to shop this around to low level producers in the hopes of getting on Lifetime or a similar network. That should be pursued in tandem with constant rewrites done in the hope that it can still make it to the big screen.

    ***

    If you're interested in my coverage, please email me at [email protected]. I can also provide an example of my line-by-line notes.

    Thank you again! If I am in violation of the rules, or if posting something like this is just frowned upon, I will take this down immediately.
    Last edited by TitanCreed; 06-25-2017, 10:12 PM.
    ****

    I am a critic first and a writer second.

    I have a background in development and currently provide low-cost coverage.

    More info here: www.FourStarNotes.com

  • #2
    Re: Coverage Service

    Originally posted by TitanCreed View Post

    $30 Package
    : This coverage comes in three parts. The first page is a summary, which is there to show customers that I read the script closely and how I broke down the major beats. The second page is a general, single-spaced review of the material. I provide a PASS / CONSIDER / RECOMMEND rating (I avoid CONSIDER WITH REVISIONS, since I find it doesn't really communicate any clear opinion). Finally, there is at least one single-spaced page that details the script's biggest strengths, flaws, and development prospects.

    $100 Package - This includes everything above, but I also provide line-by-line notes that are composed as I read the script. Generally speaking, these notes tend to be 18 pages long. They include typos, format errors, and general opinions that are expanded upon in the standard coverage.

    For both packages, I provide one month of follow-up emails.
    This is a really good deal. Thanks for letting us know.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Coverage Service

      I used the service and was very pleased. I've used other analysts and I would definitely put him right up there. Very astute observations and a tremendous value. I highly recommend him!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Coverage Service

        I'm usually a little wary of paid coverage services, but I think I'll bookmark this page for later.... seems to be worth the money!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Coverage Service

          Originally posted by sallain
          Are you still providing coverage? Sent you an email. Hope it didn't go to spam.
          Yes, I am! I think we're already talking, unless this is a huge coincidence.
          ****

          I am a critic first and a writer second.

          I have a background in development and currently provide low-cost coverage.

          More info here: www.FourStarNotes.com

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Coverage Service

            Originally posted by TitanCreed View Post
            Yes, I am! I think we're already talking, unless this is a huge coincidence.
            Yes, it's me. Sorry, I deleted my post after I'd heard from you but by that time you'd replied to my post.

            Anyway, glad we connected.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Coverage Service

              Originally posted by Strangerthanfiction
              I sent you an email some weeks ago as I was interested in your services, but never got a reply... Are you no longer offering coverage services? If not perhaps you should post here to let people know.
              I still am, but I don't recall getting an email. Can you send it again? Odds are it got sent to my spam folder (emails from DDP keep going there for some reason) and I cleared it out by accident.
              ****

              I am a critic first and a writer second.

              I have a background in development and currently provide low-cost coverage.

              More info here: www.FourStarNotes.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Coverage Service

                I used the service. Great, very useful notes at a great price. And one month follow-up emails is an additional benefit worth trying.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Coverage Service

                  I utilized the service just recently. Thoughtful notes at a great price, especially considering you receive much more in return than you would get with other, higher priced services. Also, the turnaround time is very quick.

                  Definitely would recommend if anyone is in need of notes in a timely fashion at a reasonable price!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Coverage Service

                    Originally posted by Eugene Mont View Post
                    I utilized the service just recently. Thoughtful notes at a great price, especially considering you receive much more in return than you would get with other, higher priced services. Also, the turnaround time is very quick.

                    Definitely would recommend if anyone is in need of notes in a timely fashion at a reasonable price!
                    Thanks for recommending him. I almost didn't see this thread because it was in the announcements section. It might be worth it to move it to the Sites, Services, Software, & Supplies section were the other coverage services threads are.
                    Manfred Lopez Grem
                    WGA Writer - Director | Zero Gravity Management

                    REEL - IMDB

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Coverage Service

                      I'm also going to recommend his services for anyone looking for outside feedback at a good price. The notes were detailed and showed he'd really spent time, not only with reading the script, but also with his analysis.

                      I'd given this script to a couple friends (who also write screenplays for a living), and the notes were on par with many things that others had mentioned.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Coverage Service

                        I recently received Titan creed's notes on my script and would say that they were spectacularly good value for $30. He identified the major flaw in my script very clearly, showing that a major re-write was needed, not simply a polish. Would definitely use his service again.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Coverage Service

                          Received my coverage today. Lots of insightful food for thought at a great price. Would definitely use his service again.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Coverage Service

                            Sit-coms covered? Looks to be very interesting service.

                            Comment

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