Intercutting two scenes

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  • Intercutting two scenes

    hey all

    i am writing the climax of my script which - surprise - involves a murder.

    it's based on a real murder and frankly the murder itself is not that exciting. your classic "hitman intercepts dude on his way to work at 9 am and clumsily shoots him 3 times"

    to spice things up a little, I was thinking of intercutting the murder with a rock concert that, in real life, took place a year after the murder.

    So we have: daytime murder.
    and we have: nighttime rock concert that occurred a year later.

    can I legitimately intercut those two things?? is it weird to intercut between day and night, and also between two events that don't take place at the same time (though I could probably smudge that detail for dramatic purposes and present the concert as taking place the same day)

  • #2
    Re: Intercutting two scenes

    Originally posted by TravisPickle View Post
    hey all

    can I legitimately intercut those two things?? is it weird to intercut between day and night, and also between two events that don't take place at the same time (though I could probably smudge that detail for dramatic purposes and present the concert as taking place the same day)
    I wouldn't do that, no. Think of the godfather final murder scene where they are murdering their enemies, intercut with a baby's baptism.

    The reason they are intercutting is BECAUSE these things are happening at the same time. And also BECAUSE Michael Corleone is now the baby's godfather. It's not just some random thing (like a concert) that has no connection.

    Michael is renouncing Satan and all his works in, in front of a priest, WHILE he has orchestrated multiple murders that are happening at that very moment. It reveals character. Theme. It's the main character's final, shocking transformation and the end of his character arc.

    Could you ratchet up the tension another way? You say he shoots him clumsily -- does he die immediately? Escape momentarily only to be hunted down? It's murder. Slow it down and go through beat by beat to give it tension, maybe. You said he's supposed to be at work while he's getting shot. Maybe he has a work presentation, and this has been set up already. He's the speaker. The clock is ticking. His co-workers are getting anxious. Where is he?

    Or he has a favorite customer that he'd said he'd help out. An older guy, one that treats him like a son. He was going to do a favor for him, help him out, this older man. The man struggles with a cane to reach the building. Is told to take a seat. But the shot guy never shows up. The older man is increasingly sad, he's been forgotten, maybe he wasn't important after all. The man, with no one to help him now, has to go back out, alone. This is all intercut with the original guy getting shot.

    Or if the shooter is the main character -- maybe his kids are waiting for him. His mother. Some type of outward pressure -- a pararade around the corner, witnesses all around. A farmer's market. He's got to shoot this guy but then escape all these witnesses and foot traffic of a farmer's market to reach a main road for escaping.

    These arent great examples, but you get the gist.
    Last edited by figment; 02-14-2019, 06:41 AM.

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    • #3
      Re: Intercutting two scenes

      Originally posted by TravisPickle View Post
      hey all

      i am writing the climax of my script which - surprise - involves a murder.

      it's based on a real murder and frankly the murder itself is not that exciting. your classic "hitman intercepts dude on his way to work at 9 am and clumsily shoots him 3 times"

      to spice things up a little, I was thinking of intercutting the murder with a rock concert that, in real life, took place a year after the murder.

      So we have: daytime murder.
      and we have: nighttime rock concert that occurred a year later.

      can I legitimately intercut those two things?? is it weird to intercut between day and night, and also between two events that don't take place at the same time (though I could probably smudge that detail for dramatic purposes and present the concert as taking place the same day)
      Without knowing any more about the storyline:

      No to the concert, unless there’s someone in the band or crowd who knows the person about to be murdered and either suspects it or doesn’t suspect it, whichever way the story flows.

      Also, a lot depends on whether or not the audience has met the hitman as a hitman. If not, to show the hitman’s tools of the trade as he prepares to make a kill ought to be enough.

      For me, the tried and true method would be to intercut the hitman preparing to murder as the victim goes about his business. Of course, the victim has a pressing appointment to keep or some such thing that she or he cannot miss. The intercut could be stressed more between the victim and his appointment/business partner/corporate adversary/wife, et cetera, with less of the hitman as he prepares to do the dirty deed.

      This angle would help to confuse the audience that the other party is about to become the murder victim and not your story’s victim. This relies on the proper order of reveal to carry it off. You could establish a “red herring” here that whoever the story’s victim is talking to owes money to the mob or some such allusion to distract your audience from knowing that the hitman cometh for your story’s victim.

      First, show the appointment/business partner/corporate adversary/wife, et cetera where the audience is given a superior position to know that there could be a good reason that the hitman is preparing to kill them (he isn’t), then we see the hitman preparing to make a kill, then we see your story’s victim talking to the first party. With intercuts in this order, the audience is more likely to sense that the hitman cometh for the other party. Again, it matters whether or not we’ve seen the hitman interact with your story’s victim previously in any way.

      Then this contributes to making it more of a surprise when your story’s victim dies at the hands of the hitman. Even this construct may become predictable if the audience catches on after the first two intercuts.

      One thing that can save that from predictability might be “red herring victims” — people wearing the same clothes as the victim, the same “look” as the victim, listening to the same radio station as the victim, driving an all-too-similar car as the victim. The hitman in some way or another intercepts each of these until we are surprised (“we see”) the hitman surprise your story’s victim.

      All of this, too, might be considered predictable in theory, but on paper, if written tightly enough so that it plays out onscreen in real time as a surprise twist, you could make it work.

      And even if the actual murder was a clumsy one in real life, it need not be so in your story.
      Last edited by Clint Hill; 02-14-2019, 07:14 AM.
      “Nothing is what rocks dream about” ― Aristotle

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      • #4
        Re: Intercutting two scenes

        thanks comrades )))

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        • #5
          Re: Intercutting two scenes

          i use this device often in scripts as it is a good way to divide the audience's attention. the trick is to end each intercut, cut, with a cliffhanger. that way the audience is anticipating coming back to it. you want them to be like, "oh, no, don't cut away now--"

          then the next intercut ends on a cliffhanger, reversal, just about to get offed moment, of some sort, and again, we feel it, "no, not yet, wait-- okay, this looks good..." see what i mean?

          i think it was Munich that did this well when the baddies set up a car bomb or bomb in the apartments to kill their intended target, and the family comes back and the little girl gets in the car (or house)--

          the director successfully intercuts between the baddies getting ready to trigger the bomb and the little girl getting in the way-- very tense, very suspenseful. that's the kind of energy you want, ideally, if you can create it.

          if you think of another example, let's take The Empire Strikes Back. the entire middle section of the movie is an intercut between Luke/Yoda on Dagobah and Hans/Leia mission.

          this was an important choice because Luke's mentoring scenes by themselves would've been boring and possibly stall the forward momentum. the intercutting makes it a lot more exciting.

          if you can set up the "kill shot" with a few tense near misses, it might allow you to draw out and increase the suspense.
          "Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy b/c you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say." -- Edward Snowden

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          • #6
            Re: Intercutting two scenes

            Thank you. Love Munich.
            But don't the two intercut scenes have to take place at the same time?

            Originally posted by finalact4 View Post
            i use this device often in scripts as it is a good way to di[B[/B]vide the audience's attention. the trick is to end each intercut, cut, with a cliffhanger. that way the audience is anticipating coming back to it. you want them to be like, "oh, no, don't cut away now--"

            then the next intercut ends on a cliffhanger, reversal, just about to get offed moment, of some sort, and again, we feel it, "no, not yet, wait-- okay, this looks good..." see what i mean?

            i think it was Munich that did this well when the baddies set up a car bomb or bomb in the apartments to kill their intended target, and the family comes back and the little girl gets in the car (or house)--

            the director successfully intercuts between the baddies getting ready to trigger the bomb and the little girl getting in the way-- very tense, very suspenseful. that's the kind of energy you want, ideally, if you can create it.

            if you think of another example, let's take The Empire Strikes Back. the entire middle section of the movie is an intercut between Luke/Yoda on Dagobah and Hans/Leia mission.

            this was an important choice because Luke's mentoring scenes by themselves would've been boring and possibly stall the forward momentum. the intercutting makes it a lot more exciting.

            if you can set up the "kill shot" with a few tense near misses, it might allow you to draw out and increase the suspense.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Intercutting two scenes

              Hi Travis, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with intercutting two scenes in different timelines. There just has to be a clear connection between them.

              For example, a girl in a late night diner telling someone the story of how her father was murdered a year ago. And as the night passes, she tells the story in flashbacks, as you cut between the two timelines.

              It just has to be done with purpose. In the above example, the real story is the girl in the diner with whoever she's talking to, and the flashbacks are used to add dimension to her and the situation she's in.

              Good luck!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Intercutting two scenes

                Hello again, Travis. Listen:

                The Hollywood Standard” — a reference guide similar to “The Screenwriter’s Bible” by David Trottier — states that “A flashback is a scene or series of scenes that take place prior to the story’s main action.”

                The Hollywood Standard” also states that “An intercut sequence is one that cuts alternately between two or more locations....” It goes on to refer to the Intercut’s most common use in screenplays is usually for telephone conversations. In all the references, “The Hollywood Standard” implies that the Intercut is used for concurrent Action or Dialogue, that is, they occur at the same time in the story’s action.

                Personally, I draw a definite distinction between the terms “flashback” and “intercut,” as does “The Hollywood Standard” by Christopher Riley.

                As Anagram describes it, “... intercutting two scenes in different timelines” is a flashback, not an intercut.

                Originally posted by Anagram View Post
                Hi Travis, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with intercutting two scenes in different timelines.
                So, getting back to your original question, I would say no to an intercut of a daytime clumsy hitman murder with a nighttime rock concert even if they happened on the same day in your story. In my post #3 up there, I was using Intercut in the story action’s “real time” to convey that those three elements happened concurrently, or all at once. In your example of a daytime clumsy hitman murder “intercut” with the nighttime rock concert a year later, well, that’s a flashback to me. Whether the person at the concert is thinking about what they did or what happened to a friend or associate, it’s in the past.

                From my point-of-view, whether you choose intercut or flashback is determined by whether you want the scene(s) or action that you want to include to occur in the present action of the story or in the past action of the story.

                Here’s what screenwriter John August has to say about these topics: Intercutting, Cutaways, and Flashbacks.
                Last edited by Clint Hill; 02-15-2019, 07:46 AM.
                “Nothing is what rocks dream about” ― Aristotle

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Intercutting two scenes

                  Originally posted by TravisPickle View Post
                  hey all

                  i am writing the climax of my script which - surprise - involves a murder.

                  it's based on a real murder and frankly the murder itself is not that exciting. your classic "hitman intercepts dude on his way to work at 9 am and clumsily shoots him 3 times"

                  to spice things up a little, I was thinking of intercutting the murder with a rock concert that, in real life, took place a year after the murder.

                  So we have: daytime murder.
                  and we have: nighttime rock concert that occurred a year later.

                  can I legitimately intercut those two things?? is it weird to intercut between day and night, and also between two events that don't take place at the same time (though I could probably smudge that detail for dramatic purposes and present the concert as taking place the same day)
                  You can intercut anything if you really want to. Honest, there really is no rule about it (despite people who are probably going to site rules).

                  The only real rules is -- does this move your story forward in some way? So -- does it? I mean, is there something happening at this concert that involves somebody or something relevant to the story that's acting as counterpoint to this killing, thematically, emotionally, story-wise -- so that when you go to the concert and see what's happening there -- other than just a rock concert going on, it amplifies the events of the killing so that your story, whatever the heck it is, is actually going on, moving forward, in an interesting and necessary way, in both places and at both times.

                  If not -- if you're only doing it because your killing scene isn't interesting so you want to cut away to a different scene that figure is more interesting -- then no.

                  Hell, if you think that intercutting a boring scene with a "more interesting" scene is a good idea, why bother with a rock concert -- why not intercut your shooting with a hot lesbian sex scene -- or with a sequence of atom bombs going off -- or maybe both? Surely that would make your killing scene more interesting?

                  Or -- maybe this is a radical notion. Lose the lesbian sex and the atom bombs and the concert -- and try to find a way to re-imagine the killing in a way that makes "that" scene interesting in itself. Then you won't feel compelled to cut away to anything -- because you have written a scene that holds the interest of the audience all by its lonesome.

                  Just a thought.

                  NMS

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