The Pitch

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  • #16
    Re: The Pitch

    Prefixed with the fact I know nothing of the business. But I did once want to be an advertising copywriter.... does that qualify me?

    Anyway, love this show. Just like I love when Apprentice has more creative briefs. For some odd reason, I'm addicted to watching ideas and concepts become fully realized products and campaigns. No idea why.

    So far the decisions made suffer from the fundamental problem that I think all corporate types do-

    -They have no idea what they want because they're not creative.

    Nothing annoys me more than six middle-aged, balding men in suits and collars buttoned way too tight, gathered around a table to announce they're looking to create a viral video.

    And they do so without a pinch of irony.

    Like they don't have a clue the true definition of a viral video. All they see is a chance to pull in young tech-savvy consumers and an opportunity for cheap advertising.

    I hoped that The Pitch would be better in that respect. It's WAYYYY worse! zAMbie? Not great, but a least some semblance of creativity. And they lose. Because, in the opposing teams pitch, they happened to mention that the talentless breakfast rapper scraped together 9 million You Tube hits.

    And it didn't stop there. So far pitches have been won on tissue paper concepts, flim flammery, Gimmickry and empty promises. The Year of Pop? Most watched viral video ever? How is any of this based in reality?

    Next week, they may as well walk in and pitch that once they get the contract, Jesus Christ will turn up and play Flight-of-The-Bumblebee with his holy squeezed butt-cheeks. They can promise that about as much as they can promise the most watched viral video of all time.

    I could have the episode wrong, but didn't the quite inspired Trash Can lose out to a talking mouth IPhone close up? Again, nothing more than the smoke and mirror, emperor's new clothes of new technology. Because there's no way on God's green earth they picked the opposing team for Waste into WOW.

    But show them a close up of a mouth making it look like a photo is talking. Promise them celebrity endorsements that don't yet exist, and a load of corporate suits degenerate into dribbling, gibbering imbeciles.

    And that's why I love this program. Because I get to see all the reasons I can't stand corporate business. And all the reasons I chose screenwriting!
    Last edited by Harbinger; 06-02-2012, 03:43 PM.

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    • #17
      Re: The Pitch

      Originally posted by Harbinger View Post

      Next week, they may as well walk in and pitch that once they get the contract, Jesus Christ will turn up and play Flight-of-The-Bumblebee with his holy squeezed butt-cheeks.
      I think I'd give them the contract for that.

      I seldom truly LOL when I read something. But this was one of those seldoms.

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      • #18
        Re: The Pitch

        One Less Prick would make me at least look at the ad. i can't even remember what the idea was that won.

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        • #19
          Re: The Pitch

          Originally posted by Harbinger View Post
          And it didn't stop there. So far pitches have been won on tissue paper concepts, flim flammery, Gimmickry and empty promises.
          This is another issue -- because technology allows you to walk into a pitch and present polished materials it gives the illusion these half-baked ideas are better than they are. If you watch Mad Men, back then they showed hand-rendered boards. With a hand rendered ad bad ideas are more obvious. You're not distracted by all the slick eye candy. The upside of old school hand-rendered boards is they're art. There's something charming about them. You look at books on advertising from the 70s, some of them show the original pitch rendering.

          When I first went freelance I'd sometime team with an art director who was semi-retired, had old school agency background. I met her when on staff at an agency -- I was at the beginning of my career and she was at the end of hers. She was cool and taught me a lot. And, she could actually draw. She also worked in water color for herself.

          And though she used a graphic Mac and could pump out a finished ad, she would, as was her habit, hand render during the concepting process.

          We teamed to pitch a client -- a really tough, rags to riches guy, who had already rejected another freelance team and a small boutique agency. And he wasn't nice about it. The client was building a real estate empire - luxury homes. However, other than a good headline, there's not much you can do design wise. You have to show the house, room shots, the floor plan, blah blah blah.

          I knew the other freelance writer/designer team who were gracious enough to show me their idea rejected by the client. And though I thought my headline was slightly better from a strategic POV, theirs was soild, too. Design wise, though -- it's a real estate ad with manadatory elements. Not much room for creativity. Our pitch ad would not look much different than theirs. So it really comes down to a headline. And, after our prelim meeting, I knew this guy would fall alseep if you talked strategy with him.

          I tell my designer we should render our pitch ad old school. She thought I was crazy but when I explained why -- to overcome boring, mandatory graphics -- she got into it. She did watercolors of the house, room shots, etc. She hand lettered the headline. She also did it oversized -- larger than it would be in print. And it was beautiful. It was art.

          When we presented it the client went silent. Mesmerized. And we got the account that day. Her artwork pushed us over the top. When we finished the campaign, he asked for the original board and had it framed, hung in his office. It was that good. However, the line was good too. It went on billboards, he printed it on his trucks. He got a lot of mileage out of it.

          We used that hand rendered trick several other times to diiferentiate ourselves from other creative teams.

          But then she fully retired. She finally confessed to me she was a lot older than she ever admitted to -- that's a funny story too -- but she looked so good you'd never know. Now, it's rare to find an advertising designer who can render a concept by hand. A lost art.
          Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

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          • #20
            Re: The Pitch

            Still love the zAMbie idea from the Subway breakfast pitch episode.

            As bad as their commercials have been this year, they needed that one. Fvcking redic.

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            • #21
              Re: The Pitch

              As a long time copywriter (30 plus years), I was taught in my college advertising classes (at U.T. Austin) that a good ad/commercial should always include a clear consumer benefit (read David Ogilvy). Seems logical, doesn't it? Yet many young copywriters (and art directors) today ignore this very fundamental premise and go more for style than substance. It's become so bad that I can't even tell what products they're advertising in many of the acclaimed Super Bowl spots. Are these more audition pieces for Hollywood than commercials to sell their clients' products and/or services? Seems that way to me.

              With regard to THE PITCH, I see much of the above demonstrated in the series. For example, I just watched the episode with the pitch for the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. One agency's tag line was "One Less Prick." WTF? Yeah, it's a funny line, but a classic example of how many young copywriters today don't really think about their target audience and try to understand what will really connect with them.

              Speaking of pricks, that's a very real depiction in the series of the ad business in that it's full of them (not less -- but more). Of course, there are also many in Hollywood. Go figure.

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              • #22
                Re: The Pitch

                Harbinger, all the problems you noticed in "The Pitch" really do apply to the industry as a whole. You nailed it.

                We often reference "the shiny object." You have to go to every meeting with at least one piece of ridiculous eye candy. It doesn't matter if it's impractical, out of budget, off strategy, or could only reach a very small audience--clients LOVE the shiny object. You gotta bring something that gets them excited. A little bit of style can often trump substance--you just never know.

                It's because they have a hard time with the difference between IDEAS and EXECUTIONS. "zAMbie" was an idea. A campaign that works no matter what piece of media you're taking about--print, radio, tv, digital, in-store, everything. The breakfast rapper was a one-off execution. You cannot put it in a newspaper. There's no driving force behind it or legs beyond "he's singing about breakfast." And how does that get me to think about Subway differently? No perceptions of the chain or my current routine were changed and it was void of any consumer/shopper insight. That's how you know it's not an idea. zAMbie had all of those elements. The execution of it wasn't my favorite, but it was a first take for a pitch and the tone and style could be easily adjusted. I should note, AMC had a poll after that episode, and viewers picked "zAMbie" by a huge margin as their favorite. It crushed the rapping douche bag. It amazes me how clients can actually be more stupid than the general population they want to advertise to.

                Clients don't know what's best for them. It's such an odd business in that way... go ask any advertising professional "Do you think your clients are doing the right thing?" Nobody ever does, unless you have a relationship like Wieden & Kennedy does with their clients, where they present work and tell the client "You're doing this campaign." That's how you get gems like the Old Spice work, which Wieden did. You form the relationship on the basis of "We know what's best, if you don't agree, find a different agency." But almost nobody runs shop like that. Most agencies are of the "do whatever the client asks oh my god don't lose them" variety. Then you get to deal with a room full of MBAs, all looking to make decisions they can take credit for (to move up the ladder), and suddenly all the clients are trying to convince you they're the experts on the work they paid you to do.
                Last edited by Writerperson12; 06-03-2012, 02:54 PM.

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                • #23
                  Re: The Pitch

                  So ... what did my ad agency homies think about last night's episode with C. Wonder? For me, that C. Wonder client triggered flashbacks of similar alpha-male micromanaging clients I've had before. Oy vey.

                  And some of those agency people in both camps. Whew. The interoffice personality clashes - oh I'm so glad I freelance now. Even though a paycheck would remove me from the cashflow challenges of self employment I have to say I do not miss it.

                  My autopsy of the epi:

                  Being a woman I knew the female agency would not win it. I was rooting for them but in my gut I suspected they'd missed the big clues with this confrontational client.

                  These gals worked so hard but they make the mistake of many of my sisters in biz: getting bogged down in details instead of going for the big picture.

                  These women forgot one thing that's crucial: men have short attention spans when women speak. Maybe it's the tone or timbre of our voices -- reminiscent of Mom or Wifey -- but men will tune out when a woman's voice drones on. I was embarrassed for them. I was embarassed for the red-haired Queen Bee in the male agency's camp, too. Red was a caricature (sp?).

                  I think the male agency won by default. Because alpha-client was correct on one thing, the woman agency never presented a clear concept. However, he loved their marketing ideas and I bet he will have someone else execute them. And the woman agency will not have the cojones to bill him. Clients steal a lot of free ideas during pitches.

                  Oh well.
                  Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

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                  • #24
                    Re: The Pitch

                    i was thinking too... that he will steal some of their ideas and implement them in his company. overall, they could have done a great deal for his company but a much broader scope. he was only looking for that one big ad this time.

                    i also felt the show really skewed the clips... making us think the women's agency were in slam-dunk mode. it brought out for a much more dramatic conclusion. but, it also leaves an icky after-taste... esp seeing those men hug and congratulate each other.

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                    • #25
                      Re: The Pitch

                      Didn't understand what the women brought to the table. Partly because the episode didn't allow us to see them explain it all. I just know "elements of surprise" is boring and the literal interpretation of their insight.

                      Insight: Women like to be surprised, and in-store there's a surprise around every corner. Sure, I buy that.

                      But you don't capitalize on that by telling shoppers "WE'LL SURPRISE YOU." While that will work for any average brand, it's not pitch material. Show, don't tell. And allowing shoppers to design their own clothes defeats the purpose of a high-end fashion label, even if the client did like that part. That's something I can see Target doing or Gap or something. Terrible strategy, and if I were the client that suggestion alone would have prompted a "You don't know my brand." Couldn't believe Donald Trump Jr thought that was smart.

                      For the guys, I'm not sure how I feel yet about the line "A good mood can change the world." It's OK. There is an inspirational element to it, and I like how it covers both the shopping/retail experience as well how you'll feel when wearing the clothes. But, as often the case in advertising, it doesn't get me a boner so it's not good enough yet.

                      As for the execution, it was just about the most obvious route they could have taken. Not ownable, cheesy, and a pipe dream: the production costs would be astronomical. I would have expected the "shopping dream land" concept as a first round from interns, or ad students, or MBAs... but not a New York ad agency. Which leads me to believe they created a tagline but not an idea. Show me how a good mood actually changes the world in your spot. A happy woman shopping with unicorns or whatever doesn't get there. But there is something powerful to the idea that if you treat yourself, you create a better world around you. It's a unique justification for an act normally thought of as selfish and a personal indulgence.

                      Once again, I didn't think anyone deserved to win.

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                      • #26
                        Re: The Pitch

                        jboffer --

                        Agree 100%. Both of the tag lines were weak. It was first layer stuff. Those are the kind of lines I was taught early on to write down, to get them out of my head, then throw out and dig deeper. If you stare at them too long you may trick yourself into thinking they're good.

                        All of these agencies seem to focus on tags not headlines or concepts. A tagline is important but if we look at all the company tags that continue to communicate brand awareness over decades, they're far deeper in terms of message. None of these agencies go deep.

                        The mood changing the world thingy could be the sentiment, the theme, behind well crafted lines but not the actual words. Basic 101: Don't tell me, show me.

                        Elements of surprise - I groaned it was so bad. The woman agency's ads looked like catalog pages to me. And the "walk though your laundry room to another world" visual concept I've not only seen before but made me first think of shopping online for some reason.

                        Either it's the format of this show that prevents good work or the state of advertising agencies in general has taken a nose dive.
                        Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

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                        • #27
                          Re: The Pitch

                          This is just a guess. But it seems like, on the creative side, advertising is something a lot of people fall into. And if they don't, and they're really passionate about it, that passion can wear away as the industry chews you up and spits you out.

                          Great creative directors that still love the business seem like a rare thing, and they're so talented that they could find many other opportunities out of advertising. The guys who stick around--like the ones we see in the pitch--are the people who were talented enough or played politics well enough to make it to the top in the industry, but if they were even MORE talented might be doing something else. I think the there's just a cap on how much talent can stay in advertising.

                          Take me. If I become an executive creative director some day, that would mean I've actually failed and have less talent than I wish I had. Because I want to be a screenwriter. If I don't break in to screenwriting, I'll stay in advertising. It's not terrible by any means, it's just not what I truly want to do. In fact it amazes me that there are some people who wake up every day and think "Today I really want to sell more crap from this giant multinational corporation!" Some people live and breathe it, but it's rare. Everyone on "The Pitch" claims to love the industry to this degree, but I feel like we're seeing through them. I don't believe what they tell the camera is the truth. It's more like they're resigned to their purpose in life and what they can make a good living at... rather than it being something they really want to do.

                          I might be injecting too many of my personal thoughts on the industry. But from my experience, in advertising you seem to be surrounded by people who want to start a fashion label, write movies, design cars, make comic books, paint, write a book, perform, storyboard, write music, etc. But instead, they're in advertising. The top talent eventually gets out to do what they want to do. The mediocre talent who don't leave then rise to the top, become the creative directors, and make life meaningless for all the inspiring artists who work beneath them.

                          It's a theory.

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                          • #28
                            Re: The Pitch

                            Jboffer --

                            Oh - I get it totally. That's why I've had an anxiety attack or two watching a couple of these shows. Horrible flashbacks caused mostly by the internal agency meetings. I went freelance because I couldn't take the BS any more. Besides the occasional annoying client, the real problem was the internal politics and drama on staff.

                            These points you made ...

                            I think the there's just a cap on how much talent can stay in advertising.


                            (and)


                            The top talent eventually gets out to do what they want to do. The mediocre talent who don't leave then rise to the top, become the creative directors, and make life meaningless for all the inspiring artists who work beneath them.

                            ...truth.
                            Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

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                            • #29
                              Re: The Pitch

                              Coming from a 'non-ad agency homie' (hope I'm still allowed to join the party), there was one positive that came out of this episode-

                              THE 'SHINY OBJECT' DIDN'T WIN!!!

                              Womenkind had some great ideas with regards customer interaction. The idea that a server could greet them by name (whilst leaving me feeling slightly nauseous in the same way as walking into an Apple Store- 'I don't want to be your friend, Keith. I just wanna buy stuff!') is a neat, personal touch.

                              Now don't get me wrong. As the aside in the paragraph above shows, from a personal point of view I hate this stuff. I hate when I walk into an Apple store and someone comes up to me wanting to be my five-minute-purchase friend. Not because I don't like the personal touch, but because it STINKS of corporate decision. I can imagine them having meetings to determine just how much they can make the customer feel like a friend. It has that vomit-inducing new-age business stench to it. BE FRIEND. THEY BUY MORE!

                              See a TAGLINE! I could have been an ad agency homie!

                              But all that said, I recognize that it works. So Womankind pulling out that key card thing was a good idea. But all it did was cover the cracks. All it did was present the company with a 'shiny'.

                              Because (and again, I don't work in the business) 'Elements of Surprise' could be the worst tagline so far this season (and therefore any season). It does nothing. It doesn't inspire. It wouldn't draw me to the store.

                              Now again, this is neophyte views, but to me fashion sells on three things. One- It makes me look better. Two- It makes me look better than other people. Three- It makes me look like I'm with it.

                              'Element of Surprise' does none of that. To me, C. Wonder were looking for point Three. They're a lifestyle clothing store. Kind of like Biba were/are (I'm too young to know, but my mother worked for them. They were revolutionary). The agency needed to sell an experience. If experience wasn't part of the company aesthetic why have those huge Alice-in-Wonderland doors. Why have the store look and layout in the way that it was.

                              So 'Surprise' missed the mark by a distance. And that's before getting into just how diffused the idea was. I mean, I don't work in the industry, but surely the extension of your tagline should have some semblance of cohesion.

                              If your tagline is essentially 'Surprise' then the branches coming off of that should extend the concept of Surprise. So what is BFF and The Matrix all about. How does that convey the idea of surprise?

                              Ultimately they lost because of a weak tagline (which I too groaned when I heard it) and a horribly diffused, confused, incohesive concept.

                              Too much of the 'Shiny'

                              As to the men (Digo?), I have to admit my first thought was Alice. And I knew it was obvious and 'Not-Out-Of-The-Box', but it was a combination of the company name and those damn green doors. Again, their tagline was weak.

                              And again it was a garbled, confused message. Because the tagline 'A great mood can change the world' suggests an extension of 'Smile at a stranger'. The idea that a good mood can be projected on another person. Who in turn can pass that on. And that that can change the world around you.

                              But then they create a fantasy world. And are almost saying that this is the world you can create. Seahorses and Pelicans. So to my mind, they had a tagline that (if in a little hackneyed way) conveyed to the customer a larger meaningful global brand message of peace and love and then immediately negated that sentiment with unicorn farts and bubblegum fairies.

                              So is this about creating a better world or just some bored housewife creating a fantasy world to escape the humdrum of existence? Message felt a little garbled to me.

                              And HOW IN THE HELL is it a good idea at the end of a Pitch to say we're not here to pitch our ideas to you we're here to sell our agency. What made me chuckle was the show producers chose at that moment to hit us with 'heartfelt strings in c-minor' as if this was some kind of noble plea. Surely, if any other founding member of a company heard that in the middle of a pitch and then looked to the film crew, they'd think 'These guys don't give a damn about our company. This is all for the camera. They're advertising their agency to the world in the middle of the goddamn pitch to my company!'

                              But nope. In a continued illogical throughline that has plagued the show, they chose them anyway. Don't get me wrong, of the two, they deserved to win. But it's just another example in this show where logic takes a royal backside ramrodding!

                              On to the next victi..... ermm... Contestant.


                              (so how did I do real ad agency homies.... could I make/fake it in the industry? Maybe dye my hair bright red, stick my wet fingers in a live socket and call myself a strategy director... or Strategy ANALyst... or any other BS made up term)
                              Last edited by Harbinger; 06-09-2012, 04:03 AM.

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                              • #30
                                Re: The Pitch

                                Harb -- you did good, Homie. Yes, you could more than fake it on staff: copywriter candidate, definitely.

                                Because you wouldn't be faking it. You're a writer and a consumer -- you know what you like and don't like. The Apple Store issue, for example.

                                Actually -- I had the same reaction. I don't want store clerks to have all my info in the palm of their hand.

                                Without googling, my guess is Womankind started as a marketing agency selling themselves as experts in the female market. And somewhere down the road, they added creative in house. It shows in their presentation -- they put all their energy into marketing stuff and creative was like an afterthought.

                                The guy shop -- a mess. They took their tag from the redhaired woman who they later tried to keep out of the client meeting. She crashed it anyway to take credit for a terrible concept approach.

                                The client himself was a problem -- I'd run from him. The way he barged into the agencies instead of having the conference call -- red flag. In the first meeting he rattled off superlatives which any business owner would say about their own company. He doesn't have a handle on his brand, in my opinion. He has a pretty store.

                                But I have to say the redhaired lady asked one good question: what's the problem. It's the old school creative brief question, "What the problem the advertising must solve." When the guy answered, "There is no problem," I knew it was going downhill.

                                The problem was: LACK OF BRAND AWARENESS IN THE NATIONAL MARKET.

                                In fact, if you look at all the clients thus far, they all share that problem. And that's probably why they agreed to the show -- free commercial airtime.

                                Everything should have been driven by that "problem." Neither agency addressed this. Essentially, you're launching a new brand nationally and you can't do this in six days. It's ridiculous.
                                Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

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