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Old 03-13-2010, 03:07 PM   #1
acquaformosa
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Default E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

Just a quick vent or cry for help (depending on your POV).

For my latest script, I have a "Recommend" from Barb Doyon, as well as a quote of hers I've tried to leverage in my query emails, ". . . an exceptional piece of work! By far one of the best screenplays Ive read in months and the best so far in 2010!". I've also tried to leverage placing really high at a previous Nicholl competition.

And yet . . . after sending about 15 email queries (to mgrs mostly) that were reasonably well-written (I think) and rather brief and to-the-point . . . nothing. Dunno. Maybe it's concept. Maybe it's spam filter. Or maybe I shouldn't wear brown socks on Tuesdays. Of course, I'll probably send another 15 e-mail notes sometime quite soon.

So I ask:
Any random thoughts out there about the finer art of seduction via cold e-mail query? All silver bullet thoughts and panaceas are welcome. It's the socks, isn't it?
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Old 03-13-2010, 03:11 PM   #2
BurningWorld
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Default Re: E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

What is the logline?
What is the genre?
What did you put in the subject?

Answer those three questions and then we'll see what is what.
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Old 03-13-2010, 03:12 PM   #3
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Default Re: E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

Honest question - is Barb Doyon's opinion highly respected in the industry? If yes, couldn't she help hook you up for reads with reps?
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Old 03-13-2010, 03:31 PM   #4
scripto80
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Default Re: E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

I've never even heard of Barb Doyon. I had to google her, and all I get is that she's a paid script reader, who's apparently held in high regard to some aspiring writers....even though she doesn't have a credit to her name.

Honestly I would drop that completely. You might keep the Nicholl thing though simply because that's actually reputable. But overall, the point is just to introduce yourself and your title, genre, and logline. Your script logline will sell itself (or not), you just need to focus on selling yourself by being professional but approachable, and interesting without talking too much. Keep it simple but passionate, and they'll either read it or ignore it, and if they read it they'll decide whether or not they like it. I don't think there's really any "silver bullet".
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Old 03-13-2010, 03:46 PM   #5
Jules
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Default Re: E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

You could try using one of the script services that have established relationships with managers/agents and push your script if you get a consider. And if you got a recommend from miss Doyon, I am sure you will.

Quote:
Originally Posted by acquaformosa View Post
Just a quick vent or cry for help (depending on your POV).

For my latest script, I have a "Recommend" from Barb Doyon, as well as a quote of hers I've tried to leverage in my query emails, ". . . an exceptional piece of work! By far one of the best screenplays Ive read in months and the best so far in 2010!". I've also tried to leverage placing really high at a previous Nicholl competition.

And yet . . . after sending about 15 email queries (to mgrs mostly) that were reasonably well-written (I think) and rather brief and to-the-point . . . nothing. Dunno. Maybe it's concept. Maybe it's spam filter. Or maybe I shouldn't wear brown socks on Tuesdays. Of course, I'll probably send another 15 e-mail notes sometime quite soon.

So I ask:
Any random thoughts out there about the finer art of seduction via cold e-mail query? All silver bullet thoughts and panaceas are welcome. It's the socks, isn't it?
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Old 03-13-2010, 03:48 PM   #6
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Default Re: E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

Quote:
Originally Posted by scripto80 View Post

Honestly I would drop that completely. You might keep the Nicholl thing though simply because that's actually reputable. But overall, the point is just to introduce yourself and your title, genre, and logline. Your script logline will sell itself (or not), you just need to focus on selling yourself by being professional but approachable, and interesting without talking too much. Keep it simple but passionate, and they'll either read it or ignore it, and if they read it they'll decide whether or not they like it. I don't think there's really any "silver bullet".
that is well said
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Old 03-13-2010, 03:55 PM   #7
mlongton
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Default Re: E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

I agree with ther above, but also --

15 queries?

That's nothing! Send another 300, and if still no reads, then you could have a problem.
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Old 03-13-2010, 05:07 PM   #8
acquaformosa
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Default Re: E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

I didn't wanna flood the market with 100+ email queries . . . at least just yet. Lord knows I've done that plenty of times, though. So I was considering this an initial toe-in-the-water approach.

Short of pasting the body of the email in here, the general details are (and there isn't a whole helluva lot else anyway):
  • Genre: Fantasy teen drama
  • Logline: A troubled teenager jeopardizes his future plans and alienates himself in the local community when he claims that a magical glow stick enables him to see and talk to his best friend who was recently killed in a tragic accident.
  • Subject: Glow Stick
I was afraid to put things like "script query" or "for your consideration" in the Subject line. So I took the unoriginal approach of hoping the goofy title would pique one's curiosity.

Perhaps the whole coverage angle was a miscalculation . . .


== == == ==
Original Note
== == == ==
Im a Nicholl Fellowship finalist and credited screenwriter and would like to submit the following logline for your consideration:

Glow Stick (fantasy teen drama) ("Ghost meets "Say Anything")
"A troubled teenager jeopardizes his future plans and alienates himself in the local community when he claims that a magical glow stick enables him to see and talk to his best friend who was recently killed in a tragic accident."


Recent Coverage (from Extreme Screenwriting):
An exceptional piece of work! By far one of the best screenplays Ive read in months and the best so far in 2010! Extreme Screenwriting gives Glow Stick a RECOMMEND.

If youd like to read the script, please let me know and Ill be happy to make arrangements for sending the requested material.


Regards,
XXXXX XXXXXX (concealing my super secret identity)

P.S. My work has received considerable recognition, including but not limited to the following:

- Finalist Nicholl Fellowships
- Semi-finalist Walt Disney Studios/ABC Writers Fellowship
- Winner (Best Screenplay) ScreamFest LA Film Festival
- Semi-finalist Austin Film Festival
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Old 03-13-2010, 05:15 PM   #9
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Default Re: E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

If I'm being completely honest... I would pass after "fantasy teen drama".
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Old 03-13-2010, 05:17 PM   #10
acquaformosa
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Default Re: E-mail Seduction - Can't Get a Read

Fair enough. So maybe even if it says "Spielberg loved it" but the genre and/or concept is lacking, therein lies the key.

I knew it wasn't the socks.
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