Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

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  • Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

    Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

    Baby blood churns and gushes up from a centrally located fountain, as LEGAL CZAR dips his chalice, and he sips. The sweet and melancholy tinge of fresh baby blood.

    Turning to LORD MORDOK, high atop his altar, the Legal Czar steps cautiously forward to his master's shadow.

    Mordok watches 1,000 screens mounted above the chamber in a semi-circle. On these screens, the FUX logo appears and infiltrates every sector of human existence.

    Lord Mordok: There's far too much for us yet to own.

    Legal Czar: Yes, my Lord. And what is thy bidding?

    Lord Mordok: Foolish scribes, they've left themselves exposed to repurcussions.

    Legal Czar: Indeed.

    Lord Mordok: Crush them.

    Legal Czar: Your will be done, master. But--

    Lord Mordok: What?

    Legal Czar: What of our public relations?

    Ext. The Shire. Day

    HOBBITSES tap on mobile devices. They sip lattes and bang out drafts on their round laptops.

    Int. PJ Baggins Home. Day

    PJ BAGGINS feeds a BABY HOBBIT, returns it to its crib.

    PJ Baggins: Mommy's got to return to her work now. Important doins.

    She plops down at her computer where the website of PJ Baggins' Free Script Library appears.

    PJ Baggins taps out a web page: 'A place for learnin' and greatness, free like the air, like any brick 'n mortar type library!'

    Somewhere across the mountains of Mordok the earth trembles and shakes.

    To Be Continued ... ?
    Hell of a Deal -- Political Film Blog

  • #2
    Re: Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

    As…

    Ext. The Forest of Whitesnake - Dawn

    Thousands of EMACIATED HOBBITSES (aged 9 – 900) – hereto forth known as RIGHTERS – toil away in the cold air. Condensation puffs from their cracked and frostbitten lips.

    The haggard creatures CHOP with heavy axes. The blades cracking against massive tree-trunks.

    We move across the army of Righters, closing in on…

    A YOUNG RIGHTER (12)

    Exhausted. Covered in unshaven hair. Sweating, he lowers his 100-pound axe, wipes sweat from his forehead.

    Then, from the distance, a BOOMING VOICE rumbles the very theater seats below us.

    BOOMING VOICE (O.S.): Back to woooooooooork, Righter!

    The boy turns back to work, but he's too tired. Suddenly a greasy FUX-ORK - looks like a giant feral dog - jumps from the darkness and digs its fangs into the Young Righter’s throat.

    BLOOD spurts in a misty geyser onto the cheeks of other Righters, who ignore the murder to continue HACKING at branches with sharpened hatchets.

    Other Righters PLANE long boards with razor-honed woodworking tools.

    A SKINNY RIGHTER runs full-speed past the planers holding up a long scroll of papyrus. He disappears into a doorway that leads to…

    Int. Righter’s Workshop - Day

    He enters running, and delivers the scroll to a stack of similar rolls. Beyond the stack, DROVES of Hobbit-Righters sit on rock hard benches, hunched over endless rows of wooden tables.

    The sound of SCRIBBLING QUILLS permeates our ears. Each Righter holds a feather pen, scrawling upon the thin scrolls of PAPYRUS.

    Slowly…

    We move toward a FAT RIGHTER (92) who holds in the air a text-covered sheet of papyrus. He screams at the top of his lungs:

    FAT RIGHTER: Script done! Script done!

    Within an instant the papyrus is SNATCHED from the Righter’s hairy fingers by a FUX-BAT (basically a Fux-Ork with wings).

    The Fux-Bat grips the sheet of papyrus using the insanely strong muscles in its PUCKERED ANUS and flies into the air with large veined wings that WHOOSH against the wind. We follow the Fux-Bat as it cruises through the sky toward

    Fux of the Sith Headquarters...

    ...a 3,000-foot-tall tower in the distance. Made from the bones of dead Righters. And on top of the tower...

    An ALL-SEEING-FUX-EYE. Rotating around.

    Focusing on the Fux-Bat gliding into an arched, stone-clad window on the side of the tower...
    Last edited by MontanaHans; 12-05-2010, 12:15 AM.

    SMASH TO:

    BLACK

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    • #3
      Re: Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

      Cool.

      But can someone be sued for this?
      Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

        Sued for what? Parody and satire? I think not sc.

        SMASH TO:

        BLACK

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        • #5
          Re: Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

          This is cool, Polfilm and Montana.

          Going forward, would you guys consider moving "The Fux Kingdom" to present day...

          Only after "The Crusaders" have slaughtered and tortured the heathens and converted the terrified survivors to the religion of ReadWhatISay, NotWhatIToldYouToReadAWeekAgo, a division of DoWhatISay, NotWhatIDo, naturally.

          Some of us ain't too fluent in old school.
          Brown-Balled by the Hollywood Clika

          Latino Heart Project's MEXICAN HEART...ATTACK!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

            I think you should take the story to present day Umo in the next post!

            SMASH TO:

            BLACK

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            • #7
              Re: Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

              Well, after umo, I'll contribute a page. Maybe ...
              Last edited by sc111; 12-05-2010, 05:01 PM. Reason: 2nd thoughts
              Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

                Casting suggestions -

                Lord Mordock - Ron Jeremy

                This deserves Axel Braun's touch - "NOT THE FUX LAWSUIT - a porn parody", etc.

                Sadly, it would probably turn out to be better than most Fox films.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Int. FUX Boardroom of the Sith. Day

                  EXT. RESIDENTIAL AREA, MOUNT SINAI, LONG ISLAND - PRESENT DAY

                  SUPER: In An Alternate Universe

                  An SUV roars down a quiet street in this
                  sleepy hamlet on Long Island's
                  north shore. Ebony black paint job, dark tinted windows, all-terrain
                  monster wheels -- everything about it screams black ops.

                  INT. MOVING SUV

                  Behind the wheel, MR. SMITH I. MR. SMITH II rides shotgun.
                  Both clones, expressionless.

                  THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD.

                  Bambi wanders into the road - THUMP-SPALT - deer entrails bloody the glass.

                  Mr. Smith I flicks on the wipers. Meanwhile ...

                  INT. PJ'S KITCHEN

                  PJ McILVAINE puts the finishing touches on a homemade apple pie while
                  BABY BOY giggles in his swing chair. Then -

                  DING DONG of the front door. Baby boy dissolves in tears, terrified.

                  PJ
                  Darling boy.
                  (picks him up)
                  There, there, sssh.

                  But he's inconsolable. DING DONG.

                  PJ
                  (calls out)
                  Will someone please get the door?
                  (to baby)
                  What is it - are you hungry?

                  A deadpan voice can be heard from the front room ...

                  MR. SMITH I (O.C.)
                  Good afternoon, Mr. McIlvaine.
                  May I have a word with your wife?

                  Baby Boy cries even harder.

                  INT. PJ's HOME OFFICE - 1.5 HOURS LATER

                  Close on PJ's terrified eyes. There is no sound but her eyes say it all:
                  her world has come crashing down. Pull out to reveal ...

                  Smith I shouts into her left ear, Smith II shouts into her right.
                  Their beady eyes filled with hate. The veins on their foreheads throb.
                  Their spittle flies.

                  But - still - we hear nothing. We can only imagine what they're
                  saying to her. Or what they'll continue to say for the next half hour.

                  A single tear rolls down PJ's cheek.

                  PRE-LAP:

                  YOUNG GIRL (V.O.)
                  But then the hero comes in and
                  saves her. Right?

                  INT. INDOCTRINATION CENTER

                  Endless rows of children in grey uniforms sit in plexiglass chairs, eyes forward.
                  At the front of the room ...

                  ... MR. SMITH III. He taps his baton on the lectern.

                  SMITH III
                  Who said that?

                  In the children's eyes, abject fear.

                  SMITH III
                  May I remind you I am not programmed
                  for patience.

                  A young girl bravely rises from her seat.

                  SMITH III
                  Ah - number 7229. Excellent question!
                  Allow me to disavow you of that notion.
                  In real life - there are no heroes.
                  Only stockholders. Understood?

                  YOUNG GIRL
                  But --

                  SMITH III
                  Children - repeat after me: in real life ...

                  CHILDREN
                  In real life ...

                  SMITH III
                  There are no heroes ...

                  CHILDREN
                  There are no heroes ...

                  SMITH III
                  Only stockholders.

                  CHILDREN
                  Only stockholders.

                  SMITH III
                  Again.

                  [SIZE=2]CHILDREN
                  In real life, there are no heroes.
                  Only stockholders.

                  And as we fade out.

                  CHILDREN
                  In real life, there are no heroes.
                  Only stockholders.
                  Last edited by sc111; 12-05-2010, 08:40 PM.
                  Advice from writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick. "Try this: if you can replace your female character with a sexy lamp and the story still basically works, maybe you need another draft.-

                  Comment

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