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Old 12-16-2004, 11:58 PM   #1
vizcarra
 
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Default Dialogue Ellipsis Question

If there is desired pause within the dialogue and there happens to be a question within it, what is the proper format? For example, is this OK:

Cargo Handler
How ya going to get it in the compartment..? it weighs a ton!

or should it be:

Cargo Handler
How ya going to get it in the compartment... it weighs a ton?

A little help,
Thanks
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Old 12-17-2004, 02:26 AM   #2
Revisionist
 
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First of all I'm assuming this is an example and not something you're actually putting in a script. For two reasons. First, it's on the nose. And second, no pause is needed in the dialogue.

With that squared away I'd use the ..? Then a capital "I"t weighs a ton. Without the exclamation mark. Usually in a situation like this because a movie is visual you'd have...

If a comedy...

CARGO MAN #1, a burly lookin', plumber pant wearin' neanderthal, gives the safe a hard jerk once he's got a grip. With a grunt and a horribly long fart the load won't budge.

CARGO MAN #2
Jesus, Jake. I'd like tah say I'm glad you gotta pressure relief valve to keep y'all from gettin' a hernia but I'm on the down wind side of yah.

Screenplays do not work without the proper visual. This might sound stupid, but it worked for me. Take an ordinary paint brush and tape it to the top of your monitor. With every scene you work on look at that paint brush, then at the scene. Use the brush as a reminder that you're using a visual medium and must paint the scene. Contemporary realism, if you will. Not abstract art. Only resort to dialogue if you absolutely have to. And even then you must use subtext.
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Old 12-18-2004, 12:54 AM   #3
pantalone
 
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An ellipsis is it's own punctuation. Like Fortean did it, the question mark, exclamation, even a period comes after.

....
...?
...!
...;
...:
...,
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Old 12-18-2004, 03:49 PM   #4
Revisionist
 
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Actually I was doing some reading yesterday and it seems a lot of readers don't like too many ellipses. Apparently neither do actors. I guess many people look at it as direction. Like using a (beat).

I don't really see the big deal myself and it's just another one of those screenplay debates like "WE SEE" but I thought I'd throw it out there. I overuse them all the time in my writing and it's probably a habit I could break.

The actual use of an ellipses in proper english grammar is to continue a quote. Like...

If ye have faith as a grain...

...and nothing will be impossible unto you. (Matthew 17:20)

Another common use in scripts (since that's why we're here) is to interrupt dialogue. As in...

REV
I really don't see the big freakin' deal with...

VIG
Just shut the fvck up and pass the dube. Christ when you get goin' on this sh!t it never ends.

As a pause in dialogue the debates are ongoing. I use them, but sparingly. I generally give the actor enough credit that I shouldn't need to tell them how to do their job. They hate that.

In short. I'd go with what Web said above. Let the actor decide to pause.
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Old 12-31-2004, 03:19 PM   #5
TwoBrad Bradley
 
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Eliminate the question (where have I heard that before?).

Options:

For those who like ellipsis:
You'll never get it in the compartment ... it weighs a ton.

For those who don't like ellipsis:
You'll never get it in the compartment. It weighs a ton.

For those who would rather "show don't tell":
You'll never get it in the compartment.
(insert some action showing that "it" is really heavy.)

And of course, if it doesn't matter to the story how "it" gets into the compartment ... just show it already in the compartment.
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