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Old 11-02-2005, 02:39 PM   #1
BottomlessCup
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Default Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

Pulled Temporarily!

What's the consensus? Comments okay now or wait?
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Last edited by BottomlessCup : 11-02-2005 at 02:58 PM. Reason: Not wanting to ruin the fun?
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Old 11-02-2005, 02:42 PM   #2
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Default Re: Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

Isn't this a bit premature, as voting is open until Friday? It's a good thing I voted before I read your comments, otherwise, I would have been influenced by your comments and not gone with my gut (which was probably wrong, now that I've read your comments, but it's my gut, so it was my honest, uninfluenced preferences).

Ah, well, Just my opinion. FWIW.
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Old 11-02-2005, 02:54 PM   #3
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Default Re: Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

You might be right. If anybody else objects, I'll delete the text till Friday. I tried to avoid that with the thread title, which hopefully people will heed.

I just wanted to get my thoughts out while they're fresh in my mind.
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Old 11-02-2005, 03:21 PM   #4
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Default Re: Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

Sorry if I sounded peeved. I'm still feeling a bit flu-ish.
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Old 11-02-2005, 03:32 PM   #5
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Default Re: Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

No problem, TD. I just figured it'd be okay, since in the "End of Summer" contest, comments started before the contest deadline even.

I'm just impatient and bored.
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Old 11-02-2005, 09:54 PM   #6
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Default Re: Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

No replies after 6+ hours? 250 posts in an hour and a half in the umpteenth "Bush XXXXXX" thread and nothing here? Dammit, why doesn't anybody care about this contest??? I think I'm gonna post my comments just to raise hell down here. That or I'm gonna do whatever Derek and/or ComicBent say. GRRRRR....
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Old 11-02-2005, 10:03 PM   #7
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Default Re: Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

just post them.

the competition's just for fun, no one really wins anything, and most people would've made up their minds as to what they liked.

unless you plan on saying bad stuff about mine, in which case i'll cry like a little schoolgirl.
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Old 11-02-2005, 10:13 PM   #8
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Default Re: Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

Alright. Here goes. I tried to say good and bad things about every entry, so cry away, habronic.


READ THE SCRIPTS AND VOTE FIRST!!!!!!! SPOILERS!!!!!!VOTE FIRST, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!





SERIOUSLY! VOTE FIRST!!












Spoilers!!!! (Duh.)

I was really impressed by these. It was extremely hard to choose just three. I've spent enough time doing peer review to know these are all way above average. Good job, DDers!

In the name of maintaining anonymity, I critiqued my own as well. (and for the record, my negative comments on it are way off base. :P )



What the Cat Dragged in - Some good creepy moments in this one. Largely well-written, visual and evocative. The Cat Lady rocking with her cats while the dying cat howled is 'A' stuff.

The script had two problems for me: The plot/story was pretty straight-line. I could see where it was going from the start. I would've liked more of a surprise in there. Secondly, format-wise, the action lines were really dense. Granted, there was a strict page limit, but it felt jammed to me. Had it been more spread out, it would've read much more smoothly.


Xtra Time - Cool concept that could definitely be expanded. After reading this, I'm surprised that it hasn't been done before (as far as I know) - high school kids bringing back a dead friend. Some sharp dialogue (loved "I'm not getting a c-confidence vibe here.") The 'punch' of him taking off was good, but I would've milked it more, maybe have him tackle Kylie - she's thinking love, he's thinking football.

My only real problem with this one was that I felt the banter went a bit long. In a script this short, I think the time could've been used better, especially by explaining how that motley crew got together.


The Shortcut - Very cleanly written. A neat take on the "cutting through the cemetery" format.

The ending disappointed me a bit, though. Answered the script's questions with dialogue. I thought it could've been handled more visually. Also, the POV's seemed superfluous, but that's a personal format preference.


Demon Squad - Very cool stuff. Funny, fast-paced, thoroughly clever. The elevator bit was gold.

Nothing bad to say here, really. Fine work.


The Lesser of Two Evils Liked this one a lot. Cool concept, relentlessly charming and funny. Had a Disney feel for some reason (that's a compliment in this case.)

One tiny, tiny quibble: Why didn't the Beast #1 and Beast #2 have names? Given the size of their roles, it seemed an odd choice not to name them. Still, great job.


The Siren - Excellent mood, very creative concept. Creepy and... sumptuous somehow. The climax sequence was great stuff.

The use of sluglines was a problem for me. I think one page had like eight. While it may have been technically succinct, it made the read awkward for me. I would have preferred some simplification. There was a bit of "telling, not showing" with regard to Montclair's emotions. Other than that, solid.


Off Night - Funny stuff and a reasonably fresh (if a bit South Park-y) concept. Some great lines. Cleanly written, save for a typo or two.

The problem I saw in this one was that it felt crammed. Tried to do too much. Given the short length, I thought the Taxi sequence was superfluous and not worth it for the bible gag. Good stuff, though. Made me laugh.


Preta - So much to like in this one. Very crafty, spotlessly written. Creative concept well handled. It felt like there was something real behind Carol and Roy, which is impressive given the short length. This could definitely be expanded to feature length.

It got a bit exposition-y in the middle for a while, but I'm willing to forgive it, since it was well handled and still pretty interesting. Good job.


Bed, Bath, and Beyond - Great job on mood - there's an aching sadness hovering over the script, which is just right for this story. Pretty solid dialogue, some great lines ("There's nothing more optimistic than a waffle iron" - awesome).

There were a couple problems for me here. Format-wise, it was mostly clean, but where were the descriptions of the characters? The bigger problem for me was that it was mostly backstory. We didn't see much actually happen. It kinda felt like you were trying to tell us a bigger story in seven pages, so you summed it up with a big expo scene and two flashbacks, then gave us the resolution. It sounds like a good story, though, I'd like to see the big version.


Trash Night Sharp, funny script. I really liked the writing and feel like I'd enjoy reading more by the author. Cool concept, nice twist.

The only (small) hiccup for me - I thought the reveal was handled too quickly and a bit perfunctorily. You got there creatively, then just dropped the reveal on us. the rest was so clever, I wanted more in the scene with the brother. Great job, though.


The Looking Glass - Another great little script. Clever concept, solid writing, and the best twist of the lot. Visually strong and pretty action-packed for a short.

The bugging part in the beginning seemed a little over-the-top. I suppose it's justified by his further paranoia, but it seemed contrived at the time. The arrest was a bit antic-climactic after the first chase. I wanted more action there - or something. Very nice short, though.



Again, good job! Everybody should be proud.
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Old 11-02-2005, 10:46 PM   #9
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Default Re: Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

i have no idea which ones you voted for, and you didn't say much bad about mine, so i don't need to cry!

once the voting stops i'll clarify what i was trying to do and people can tell me whether it was successful.

either way, good reviews.
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Old 11-03-2005, 12:34 AM   #10
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Default Re: Halloween Comments - Read the scripts and vote first!

BC

Do you read/review professionally?

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