Comedy scripts

[Mark Somers]

Dean, I stole that para/line from "Galaxy Quest".

Sam Rockwell spoke what I was thinking.

Emily, sometimes you have to post in Canenglish around here, eh.

[Jim Mercurio]

I write about this for about half a chapter in my upcoming scene writing book. Don't want to cut and paste but let me try to wing it...

There is a huge difference between being funny in real life and funny on the page. There is craft to comedy.

Attitude, sarcasm and breaking the rules of propriety are funny in real life even if done bluntly. If you are at a party and roll your eyes at something or give a sarcastic comment like "sure" or "nice job" or "that went well" when you mean the opposite, it can often be funny because real people are involved. The tension and hostility inherent in comedy is there.

Consider the scene in Last Boyscout with the line something like this: I am getting my ass kicked by the guy who invented Scrabble.

There is some craft here. The line has some character perspective. And it actually follows through on the joke. If the other character doesn't react and if the line doesn't have purpose as far as the beat in the scene it might be crafty joke-tellling but it might not work as feature comedy. However, the line is far superior to "Nice vocabulary" or rolling eyes or even the less defined quip: "Thanks Einstein."

Jokes have to have structure. I show the scene in LA Confidential where Russell Crowe character hits the Kim Basinger character. I then made the joke "To prepare for this role, Kim Basinger married Alec Baldwin." This joke is structured and works much better than this: "Kim Basinger married Alec Baldwin to prepare for this role." If you don't agree, then keep studying. Or like some other tougher critics here might say: don't write comedy. In real life if someone was talking about the socially delicate situation of domestic abuse and you cut through the political correctness and say "Wow, that's a nice relationship," that might come off as funny or induce nervous laughter but there is no epiphany, no perspective, no climax, no punchline. Attitude and sarcasm aren't enough in screenwriting.

Also, there is a concept called "who cares" that I bring up in regards to jokes in feature writing. I don't mean it in the generic and dismissive way, I mean if you have a funny line and no one gets offended by it or reacts to it or is bothered by it, i.e., NO ONE CARES then the line might work in a sitcom but it won't work in a feature. Lines have to fulfill beats....characters have to react. In Liar Liar, the JC character is ready to smack down the Swoozie Kurtz character with a long diatribe but since he can't lie, he ends up just making some mumble-jumble sounds right in her face. It is silly, it's pretty funny. But what makes it work is her reaction. She takes it as mocking or disrespecting so she reacts with force: "So you want to play hard ball? Fine with me." Even a silly nonsensical line with out any actual words still has to function in service of the characters and the story. It has a beat that escalates the story. In this case, someone CARED.

A little more about setup. If your friend sucks at Karaoke, then it might be painfully funny when they are forced to sing Karaoke. But the scene in MBFW at the KAraoke bar has an earlier set up that Kimmy hates it and sucks at it. So the craft begins in the opening moment of the scene in the karaoke bar. In order, we get the first two characters entering in a single file line...Michael and Julianne are both smiling and express happiness and joy ( "This is great" beat) before the contrast of Kimmy walking in nervous and depressed about the situation. And then when the moment comes, it's not that funny if we all know what's going to happen, the craft takes us to the opposite first. IT looks like Michael will give Kimmy the mic, so Julianne snatches it away and really makes it look like the opposite: that she will protect Kimmy from embarrassment. You need this twist craft-wise. It allows Kimmy to relax and drop her guard. So when a second later, Julianne does put her on the spot, the surprise for us is created with the craft and the surprise for Kimmy is accentuated by the craft and character choice of lulling into security (a la revenge is a dish best served cold) before springing the reversal on her.

And the beat of trying to win or crush your opponent is there and it's powerful when Kimmy responds by being strong and neutralizing Julianne's attempt to put her down.

For comedy to work, it has to incorporate the characters' perspective, it has to actually be a clever and smart joke/epiphany as opposed to just attitude, it has to be structured like a punchline or at least so that the climax is accentuated. And then in film, the action or line has to also serve the story and scene by being an active beat with subtextual intent.

Easy stuff, right? ;-)

[polfilmblog]

Is all of this supposed to somehow relate back to: "KUNTA KINTE IS MY UNCLE?"

Roots (TV mini-series 1977) - IMDb

Wasn't Star Wars also 1977? One would think R2D2 jokes may have gone a bit out of style -- but this?

Roots was a great mini-series, that probably no one born after 1977 has actually seen. Those who had would not consider the Kunta Kinte thread in the series to be fodder for some slapstick comedy. I'm just sort of stunned, here.

Maybe overcome that, and then we'll talk comedy.

[Anagram]

Thanks Jim, very interesting post.

[LMPurves]

Originally Posted by polfilmblog

Is all of this supposed to somehow relate back to: "KUNTA KINTE IS MY UNCLE?"

A working title.

Originally Posted by polfilmblog

... that probably no one born after 1977 has actually seen.

Not true.

Originally Posted by polfilmblog

Those who had would not consider the Kunta Kinte thread in the series to be fodder for some slapstick comedy. I'm just sort of stunned, here.

C'mon. Where's your sense of humor?

And the script isn't about Kunta Kinte. It's about a big fat white guy who wants to f*ck this super hot black chick. Only thing, the chick prefers dark meat, so whitey traces his roots searching for some Negros... that AREN'T hanging from the family tree.

BA-HA-HA-HA-HA! (couldn't resist throwing in the last line... )

[Mr. Earth]

Originally Posted by LMPurves

. Only thing, the chick prefers dark meat, so whitey traces his roots searching for some Negros... that AREN'T hanging from the family tree.

BA-HA-HA-HA-HA! (couldn't resist throwing in the last line... )

YIKES!

[LMPurves]

Originally Posted by LMPurves

... that AREN'T hanging from the family tree.

BA-HA-HA-HA-HA! (couldn't resist throwing in the last line... )

So yeah...

In the sober light of the day, I can see that this joke crossed the line. And this is why I don't drink as a general rule -- I can't censor myself. Two wine coolers for a friends b-day and...

I apologize if anyone took offense.

Other than the above line, the rest really is what the script is about.

[DavidK]

Originally Posted by Jim Mercurio

There is a huge difference between being funny in real life and funny on the page. There is craft to comedy.

The comedy in movies is different from the comedy in real life and different from the comedy in sitcoms. Too many aspiring comedy writers approach the task by trying to write gags and one-liners, which are the foundation of sitcoms, whereas feature comedies are situation and character based. Although sitoms still depend on character and situation, these elements are established early, they are blatant and consistent, and the gags are the substance of maintaining a season. Every second or third line in a sitcom is a joke, whereas most of the lines in a feature comedy are not actually any different from the dialogue in a drama - they are comic purely because of character and situation. (There are only three types of jokes: language-based, relationship-based, and situation-based.) Thus, the mistake is to think gags make a script comic when it's actually the situation and how the characters react. The comedy in the dialogue works because it's a dramatic extension or expansion of the situational comedy.

I agree that being funny in real life does translate to being able to write funny - some comedy writers are funny in person, but many are not even though they can find a funny perspective to anything. Similarly, I know a writer/director who is hilarious in real life, probably the funniest person I know to drink with, but he can't write comedy - I've begged but he just can't do it.

Comedy writing is tough for many reasons, a major one being the demand for a higher level of originality - it's much easier ("easier" being relative) to recycle a dramatic situation and put a fresh spin on it than it is to recycle a comic situation.

But like any other kind of writing, it comes down to the writer having a natural inclination, having a particular perspective on life and being able to express it on the page in the context of a certain genre. And what makes you, the writer, laugh at something is not necessarily the same thing that will strike the comedic nerve in the audience - you also need to have a comic perspective that the audience shares. This final aspect can be honed and most comic performers or writers have to do this. They have the natural inclination to write comic material but need to shape it through trial and error.

[sc111]

I set aside my comedy scripts because - well - comedy is really hard. And though I did get reads and one consider on one of those scripts, the truth is - like you, LMP - I'm more drawn to the dramatic side of the street.

However, I'm not so sure the "add comedy to drama" angle is a good approach. I think comedy requires a level of pathos or else it starts to ring hollow. But too much drama drags it down.

LMP: What you described of your concept reminded me of an issue I kept bumping into before I gave up on comedies -- ideas that sound good at first but may not have not enough juice to support three acts. I have a lot of unfinished comedies for this reason.

This white guy going on a quest to prove he's Black -- especially when the woman prefers Black men -- seems like an idea that could run out of steam real quick.

[LMPurves]

Originally Posted by sc111

This white guy going on a quest to prove he's Black -- especially when the woman prefers Black men -- seems like an idea that could run out of steam real quick.

Could be the reason I keep falling back into the drama.

My baseball comedy shows the most promise and since it is about a drunk and stoned Canadian Beer league baseball team and since I've played on a drunk and stoned beer league team for years, I have enough material to write the script and two sequels -- not that I would write sequels, but I could.

Finished another draft of that one a couple of weeks back and while it "simmers", I'm working on this one. I figure that I could become more confident in my comedic skills (or lack thereof) by the end and when I pick up the baseball comedy again, I might have something new to offer.

I really needed a break from the dramatic -- when you write that stuff 24/7, sometimes it spills over into your real life and f*cks up your mind.

Almost ready to return to it. After these two scripts, I'm sure. Actually, probably during the writing of these two scripts.

And on the best note -- I had hella laughs while writing.

'Course it seems my sense of humor might be too over the top for some, so we'll see what happens.