Comedy scripts

[Ire]

The Graduate. Some of the funniest bits known to cinema post Wlider and the Marx Brothers. The least jokey comedy I know of. And it works phenomenally. Unfortunately it sets such a high bar for quality character/situational comedy that it's hard to compare to. Your inability to write comedy at all points on your script will happen since 1. You're most likely forcing it and 2. You're not allowing enough drama in to contrast the funny.


Your concept sounds more than a bit worn and your title imposes limitations at least in theory. Comedy is not funny all of the time ironically. Every substantial comedy has subsequent dramatic scenes even Animal House. Know when to let in the drama. Without the drama in your script the funny is generic funny and there is less gravitas. Silly is easy but it adds up to very little in the long run.

[wks2001]

Originally Posted by LMPurves

I've stepped outside of my drama box and am working on a feature length comedy.

KUNTA KINTE IS MY UNCLE

Picture Kevin James trying to land Beyonce by proving he is black.

Anyway, I've written three feature comedies and they all suck balls (well, 'cept my baseball comedy that might have some potential with a bazillion rewrites) so I am humbly inquiring if anyone here who has had some success at comedies has some pointers they would be willing to share with me.

I'm finding it hard to sustain pure comedy throughout the whole script -- during the character arcs, I keep dropping back into my comfortable zone of drama so on the read-thru, I'll be reading comedy then suddenly have a whole page to a page and a half of drama where no funny sh1t happens.

Any suggestions on how to overcome this?

LM, don't change a thing...just shorten the dramatic excursions a little. Good comedy comes from the heart.

A great comedy writer once told me; A good joke always has a bit of truth in it.

and that Title, " Kunta Kinte is my Uncle" will grab attention. I like your sense of humor...

finally, there's someone out there who understands me... :-0

[Ire]

On second thought regarding the title I can't say who will recognize the reference but people will Google it.

[wks2001]

Originally Posted by LMPurves

So yeah...

In the sober light of the day, I can see that this joke crossed the line. And this is why I don't drink as a general rule -- I can't censor myself. Two wine coolers for a friends b-day and...

I apologize if anyone took offense.

Other than the above line, the rest really is what the script is about.

lol, yeah, tread easy my friend, you walking on eggs there...

and again, most young writers today have little knowledge of filmmaking history... but that's the fast food, "I want it now" society we live in. no one wants to put in the work.

If I were new to this, after reading the instructional books. I would go back and pick at least one film from each decade. starting with the 1920's - in your particular genre of choice - and watch the progression from one film generation to the next.

[wks2001]

Originally Posted by LMPurves

You posted?

lol

[wks2001]

Mr.Earth stated:

[If you don't have 30 or more funny scenes, situations, or set pieces in your mind before you start writing, they're probably not going to organically be created as you develop the plot from point A to point B. }

ok, my bad , I misread your post - organically - nothing in a completed and well-written script happens organically. writing is rewriting, and rewriting, and rewriting some more.

I can improve not only my own comedy scripts through multiple rewrites and still sound fresh off the cuff, but also other peoples attempts.

[I agree that being funny in real life does translate to being able to write funny - some comedy writers are funny in person, but many are not even though they can find a funny perspective to anything. Similarly, I know a writer/director who is hilarious in real life, probably the funniest person I know to drink with, but he can't write comedy - I've begged but he just can't do it.]

I agree with this, because I can't tell a joke to save my life.. but after several rewrites i can - but I'm getting better at it - but it's usually situational. And I like to practice it whenever I am out in the world socializing.

You guys should try this, go out to the club with your wife/girl/boy or whatever and find an opportunity where you can try out one of your lines or situations and gauge the response.

you'll be surprised. Man, i love this ****!!

One situation I had the opportunity to use the line from pulp fiction - where Bruce/ butch is in the backseat of Esmeralda's cab and she asks him.

Butch? was does Butch stand for?

"baby I'm an American ..our names don't stand for ****..."

[LMPurves]

A few caring souls on this board have sent me PM's telling me that it is not a good idea for a Caucasian to write a black comedy -- I'll get ripped apart. Especially with the Kunta Kinte reference.

Well...

I'm black. Yup, I said it. Very very light skinned, but black nonetheless.

A crazy female black writer. OOH SUCKAS. WATCH OUT!

But, I do appreciate the concern. I really mean that.

Oh, and on a side note, I am so light that if I straighten my hair, I can go out incognito as a whitey. That means that I KNOW what white people say when black people aren`t in the room.

[Mr. Earth]

Originally Posted by LMPurves

A few caring souls on this board have sent me PM's telling me that it is not a good idea for a Caucasian to write a black comedy -- I'll get ripped apart. Especially with the Kunta Kinte reference.

Well...

I'm black. Yup, I said it. Very very light skinned, but black nonetheless.

A crazy female black writer. OOH SUCKAS. WATCH OUT!

But, I do appreciate the concern. I really mean that.

Oh, and on a side note, I am so light that if I straighten my hair, I can go out incognito as a whitey. That means that I KNOW what white people say when black people aren`t in the room.

Congratulations on your blackness and I think that enough time has passed to make the title obscure enough, yet still relevant enough to be funny.

[LMPurves]

Originally Posted by Mr. Earth

Congratulations on your blackness...

LOL!

[Madbandit]

Originally Posted by LMPurves

A working title.



Not true.



C'mon. Where's your sense of humor?

And the script isn't about Kunta Kinte. It's about a big fat white guy who wants to f*ck this super hot black chick. Only thing, the chick prefers dark meat, so whitey traces his roots searching for some Negros... that AREN'T hanging from the family tree.

BA-HA-HA-HA-HA! (couldn't resist throwing in the last line... )

Uh.....

Granted that I'm not a member of the comedy police, let alone wanting to be one, you have to realize that racism/prejudice is still a hot issue, despite there being a bi-racial man in the White House (hope he gets a second term!!!) and this is the 21st century. Making this idea funny without being considered bigoted is probably a greater hurdle for
you than making it funny to begin with.

Do I like your idea? It's intriguing, but you have to convince me (an African-American scribe), let alone agents and managers that you can handle it. And just because you're black, it doesn't necessarily mean that you can.

Also, if you want some inspiration, see "Watermelon Man", Melvin Van Peebles's second and only big studio film before "Sweet Sweetback Baddass Song". The satire involves Godfrey Cambridge as an annoying white guy who wakes up as an annoying black guy. Also stars Estelle Parsons as his wife and a pre-"Happy Days" Erin Moran as one of their kids. Script by Herman Raucher (Summer of '42). Spot Melvin quick as a door painter.

www.imdb.com/title/tt0066550/