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Old 11-11-2013, 08:01 AM   #1
Script Curmudgeon
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Default Looking for a Cowriter

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Last edited by Script Curmudgeon : 11-30-2013 at 11:52 AM. Reason: Would like to delete post.
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Old 11-11-2013, 02:26 PM   #2
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Default Re: Looking for a Cowriter

I think this is GREAT idea. The searching-for-twinkie in Zombieland it might be compared to but it doesn't matter, it's still a funny concept from the get go.

Rich
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Old 11-11-2013, 05:07 PM   #3
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Default Re: Looking for a Cowriter

You have a serious story flaw. Beer expires after about a year refrigerated. In a beer truck that's lost power and has been abandoned for 20 years? It would taste like bacterial discharge from a Gonorrhea patient.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:33 PM   #4
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Story flaw? Of course the beer would be rotten after 20 years. That is what we call an obstacle.

Mmmm, gonorrhea discharge.
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Old 11-12-2013, 02:28 AM   #5
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Default Re: Looking for a Cowriter

Quote:
Originally Posted by FoxHound View Post
You have a serious story flaw. Beer expires after about a year refrigerated. In a beer truck that's lost power and has been abandoned for 20 years? It would taste like bacterial discharge from a Gonorrhea patient.

And you know what that tastes like, because..........?
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Old 11-12-2013, 08:15 AM   #6
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Default Re: Looking for a Cowriter

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It would taste like bacterial discharge from a Gonorrhea patient.
Like this then...
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Old 11-12-2013, 11:36 AM   #7
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Default Re: Looking for a Cowriter

Expiration dates don't apply in this type of comedy. The beer could have been freeze dried and all you need is to add water? Or the cans are in a stasis container. or the truck is in an underground frozen chamber buried deep within the earth where it's so cold items are preserved like in the arctic. There's a a slew of methods to by pass such story issues. --Rich
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Old 11-12-2013, 04:33 PM   #8
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Default Re: Looking for a Cowriter

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Originally Posted by Script Curmudgeon View Post
I am looking for a writer that can reinvent a completed high-concept comedy. The script has received a ton of read requests based on the concept but it turns out there are two problems with it: (1) it's not that funny, and, (2) there are some story elements that need to be changed or eliminated.

I need someone with several strong, intelligent comedies under their belt that could do the rewrite as either a co-writer with equal share or I can pay a flat ghostwriting fee. We would work out all details on pay or credit before getting started.

Take a look at the logline and if it is something you would like to discuss further please send me your contact info via PM.

Title: The Beer Hunter

Logline: Twenty years after the apocalypse, in a world where there is no beer and the ingredients can no longer be grown, one man searches the wasteland for the legend of a lost beer truck.

It is currently more of a satire and not enough of a comedy. It is along the lines of "Raising Arizona" or early Woody Allen (but it doesn't need to stay that way). There are no zombies (and it does need to stay that way).

Best,


Tim
All I'm saying is that if the ending is not him ripping open the magical beer truck's door and discovering that it's full of O'Douls, you're missing a great opportunity.
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Old 11-12-2013, 07:13 PM   #9
Richmond Weems
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Default Re: Looking for a Cowriter

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You have a serious story flaw. Beer expires after about a year refrigerated. In a beer truck that's lost power and has been abandoned for 20 years? It would taste like bacterial discharge from a Gonorrhea patient.
That's not a flaw, that's an opportunity to explain why it hasn't gone skunky in a way that an audience buys it.
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Old 11-13-2013, 02:51 PM   #10
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Default Re: Looking for a Cowriter

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That's not a flaw, that's an opportunity to explain why it hasn't gone skunky in a way that an audience buys it.
Yeah I agree. These are indeed opportunities to show you're a clever writer. While the beer-aware audience is sitting thinking haha they've got it wrong the beer will be toxic funky by now, you clever up the script with an answer for this and the audience switches to being informed and impressed.
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