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Old 12-25-2013, 03:27 AM   #1
dpaterso
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Default Entries - Xmas 2013 short script challenge

Here be the 17 (!) entries for the fun DD Xmas 2013 short script contest:

1. Santa's Little Helpers
2. ELFIS!
3. Matter of Belief
4. The Other Pole
5. Godfather Christmas
6. Christmas Chaos
7. The Gift
8. Wild Turkey Christmas
9. The Naughty List
10. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town
11. Christmas Captive
12. A Torture Porn Christmas
13. The Christmas Mantle
14. SANTAS vs ALIENS
15. Twas the night before Christmas
16. Christmas at Tiffannys
17. Snow Harder

The usual blurb, stolen from a previous contest:

Even when using PDFs as a useful lowest common denominator, there's still quite a variance in formatting, which I've tried to catch and correct. If you read your own entry and spot any errors, PM me and I'll correct ASAP.

As suggested elsewhere, consider making notes as you read each entry, maybe award star ratings for character, dialogue, setting, etc. Treat every entry as the winner -- until you read something better that pushes it further down your pick-list.

It's not gonna be easy, but once you pick your 1st, 2nd and 3rd top choices, PM or email these to me at dpaterson57 at gmail.com. I'd really appreciate receiving them in the format,

1st - title
2nd - title
3rd - title

Please don't vote for your own entry. If this were allowed, everyone would do it, so what's the point? It just clouds the voting.

If you don't like reading inside the scrollbox windows, try selecting Thread Tools > Show Printable Version.

Once votes are counted and winners announced, the results thread will be open for comments and discussion. Posting comments before the results are counted might influence voting, so I'd appreciate if you could hold off till then.

For posterity, the discussion thread preceding this thread is here. And the results thread is here.
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And maybe start thinking about a Yuletide contest also!


Last edited by dpaterso : 01-25-2014 at 04:50 AM.
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Old 12-25-2013, 03:39 AM   #2
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Default Re: Entries - Xmas 2013 short script challenge

Santa's Little Helpers

Code:
FADE IN: (PRESENT DAY) EXT. ARCTIC CIRCLE - AFTERNOON Vast expanse of snow-covered ice, blinding sunshine piercing the blue sky. A low buzz loudens as a small plane enters our view. INT. BUSH PLANE - AFTERNOON JIMMY SMITH, late twenties, pilots his small plane over the ice. No room to spare and too much duct tape wraps the control yoke, but Jimmy is in a good mood. Stuck to the instrument panel is a photo of a woman and child. JIMMY SMITH I told you I'd be home in time. And what papa says is what papa does. He pulls the photo off the dash, kisses it and mashes it back down. JIMMY SMITH (CONT'D) In person myself on site right there when my baby opens her stuff. Jimmy peers ahead and sees a swirl of snow. JIMMY SMITH (CONT'D) What the heck? A white out engulfs the plane. Zero visibility. JIMMY SMITH (CONT'D) Stay calm, buddy. Follow your instruments. The compass spins. COUGH from the engine. JIMMY SMITH (CONT'D) No. The engine SPUTTERS dead. Gliding blind. JIMMY SMITH (CONT'D) Can't see a thing. The plane breaks free of the white out as it skims over a ridge of ice. JIMMY SMITH (CONT'D) Going down hard. The plane SLAMS into the ground, slides to a stop. In the distance Jimmy sees a complex of buildings. JIMMY SMITH (CONT'D) That's not on the map. EXT. BUILDING COMPLEX - AFTERNOON Jimmy approaches what might be taken for a small school, but one difference: Christmas lights adorn each building. Jimmy heads to a door. SENTRY CHIMP (O.S.) Hold it right there, fella! Jimmy turns to see a chimp sporting an infantry helmet and fanny pack. He carries a stick as if it were a rifle. Jimmy steps toward Sentry Chimp, who points stick at Jimmy and mimics automatic fire with lips. SENTRY CHIMP (CONT'D) Blblblblblblblb. Move again and I won't be aiming at your feet, bub. A nearby Christmas light POPS and goes dead. SENTRY CHIMP (CONT'D) Darn! Sentry Chimp drops stick and bowlegs over to the dead light, pulls a loose bulb from his fanny pack. Sentry Chimp attempts to pull the dead bulb out of the light string. JIMMY SMITH You're supposed to unscrew it. SENTRY CHIMP I knew that, buster. Sentry Chimp unscrews bulb and contemplates socket. He sticks finger into socket. Thrown back as sparks fly. SENTRY CHIMP (CONT'D) Yow! Jimmy helps Sentry Chimp up. JIMMY SMITH You need to be more careful. Electricity's not something to m... Jimmy and Sentry Chimp stare at each other. JIMMY SMITH (CONT'D) Mess with. Sentry Chimp grabs Jimmy's arm. SENTRY CHIMP You're coming with me. They walk to the door. JIMMY SMITH You forgot your rifle. SENTRY CHIMP Right. Sentry Chimp retrieves stick, returns to door. KNOCKS. The door is opened by SAINT NICK, an elderly obese man with white beard and spectacles. Sentry Chimp salutes. SENTRY CHIMP (CONT'D) Intruder detained and delivered. SAINT NICK Good job. I thought I heard gunfire. Saint Nick winks at Jimmy and pulls him inside. INT. SAINT NICK'S HOME - AFTERNOON Large living area, fireplace burns. SAINT NICK Welcome, young man. Warm yourself by the fire. I'm Nick. Saint Nick holds out hand. They shake. JIMMY SMITH I'm Jimmy Smith. My plane-- SAINT NICK --We know. Saw it on the radar. Saint Nick calls to other room. SAINT NICK (CONT'D) MAMA! We've got company. Mama enters the room. Matronly, pleasant. Apron. SAINT NICK (CONT'D) Mama, this is Jimmy. Mama hugs Jimmy. MAMA So good to see you. JIMMY SMITH Was that a monkey outside? SAINT NICK Oh, no, they're apes. A little sensitive about that. JIMMY SMITH Just surprised to see them. Saint Nick puts his arm around Jimmy's shoulders. SAINT NICK We had to replace the elves. MAMA They were a little too-- Mama wiggles her hips. Saint Nick lets Jimmy loose, looks at Mama. SAINT NICK How's that again? Mama pokes Saint Nick. SAINT NICK (CONT'D) I stood behind my workers because I sure didn't want them standing behind me. MAMA I remember the time-- SAINT NICK --Let me show you the workshop. Saint Nick, Mama and Jimmy walk over to massive steel door. Saint Nick slides open peek hole, looks out, opens door. INT. SANTA'S WORKSHOP - AFTERNOON Saint Nick, Mama and Jimmy stand on a platform looking over toy construction. Steps lead from platform to floor below. Apes wearing green vests and red hats busy at work. FOREMAN APE with hardhat in charge. FOREMAN APE Come on you guys. A bunch of sloths could get more done! APE IN BACK OF ROOM Yeah? Your mother was a marmoset! APE WORKER #1 sneaks behind APE WORKER #2 and flicks his ear. SAINT NICK We do have some bugs to work out. Come back inside so we can visit. INT. SAINT NICK'S HOME - EVENING Saint Nick, Mama and Jimmy finish up a big meal. JIMMY SMITH I can tell you I didn't expect-- BANGING on steel door. SAINT NICK What could that be? Saint Nick looks through peek hole, opens door. Foreman Ape at attention, cockeyed hard hat, left hand behind body. FOREMAN APE Sir! I need to report that the workers broke into the banana wine. SAINT NICK That's for Christmas Eve, when your work is done. MAMA Oh, my! SAINT NICK What happens when apes get pie- eyed? FOREMAN APE Well, Cappie, I can let you know right shortly. Foreman Ape brings left hand from behind body, holds wine bottle, takes swig. SAINT NICK Right. Saint Nick closes door. SAINT NICK (CONT'D) This is not good. Mama, you better pack what you can real quick. Mama hurries away. CHANTING from workshop. SAINT NICK (CONT'D) Now what? Saint Nick checks peek hole, eases door open. He and Jimmy slip into workshop. INT. SANTA'S WORKSHOP - EVENING Saint Nick and Jimmy stand on the platform overlooking toy production. Apes swing from ceiling, bang tools on tables, chant. APEWORKERS BANANA WINE! ALL THE TIME! BANANAS HAVE APPEAL! BANANA WINE! TASTES REAL FINE! BANANAS EVERY MEAL! A drunk Foreman Ape spies Saint Nick and Jimmy, points from below. FOREMAN APE There he is! The joker who won't give us our `nanas! Apes rush the platform steps. Saint Nick and Jimmy retreat through steel door. INT. SAINT NICK'S HOME - EVENING Saint Nick closes steel door, checks lock. SAINT NICK This should hold for a few minutes. That'll give us time to hitch up the reindeer. JIMMY SMITH You're kidding me. SAINT NICK Come on Mama! Time to go! EXT. BESIDE SAINT NICK'S REINDEER BARN - EVENING Saint Nick pulls tarp off reindeer sleigh. He helps Mama onboard, hands her luggage. Saint Nick turns to Jimmy. SAINT NICK If you've got a parachute grab it then help me with the reindeer. INT. INSIDE SAINT NICK'S REINDEER BARN - EVENING Jimmy joins Saint Nick in the reindeer barn. Each reindeer is in its own stall, breath visible in the cold. SAINT NICK Let them out. They know where to go. Jimmy and Saint Nick open the stalls. EXT. BESIDE SAINT NICK'S REINDEER BARN - EVENING The reindeer line up in place, with a smaller reindeer in front. Saint Nick and Jimmy hitch them to sleigh lines. A loud CRASH comes from Saint Nick's home. The front door BURSTS opens and drunken apes spill out onto the snow. FOREMAN APE Hey, Mr. Christmas! We're coming to get you! Saint Nick unhooks one reindeer. SAINT NICK Get in the sleigh, Jimmy. Donder, we need your help, old friend. Donder faces apes. One ape SCREAMS, charges. Donder uses antlers to throw the ape out of sight. FOREMAN APE Hold on a minute, fellow apes. Saint Nick hitches Donder, climbs into sleigh. He pushes button and control panel swings up. Escape is made. EXT. ONBOARD SAINT NICK'S SLEIGH - NIGHT JIMMY SMITH Pretty nifty. SAINT NICK I upgraded last year. Type your address in, Jimmy. Above the world all is quiet. Light flashes on panel. SAINT NICK (CONT'D) This is where you get off. Parachute ready? JIMMY SMITH Parachute ready. But what about your workshop? I can't-- SAINT NICK --Don't worry, Jimmy. I've got friends. Those apes won't be bumbling around much longer. Time to go, Jimmy. Jump! Jimmy jumps. He floats into a quiet neighborhood. EXT. JIMMY'S NEIGHBORHOOD - NIGHT Jimmy removes parachute, runs to front door of home and BANGS on door. JIMMY'S WIFE and JIMMY'S DAUGHTER answer. JIMMY'S DAUGHTER Daddy! JIMMY'S WIFE You did make it back! Jimmy picks up daughter, hugs her. Sets daughter down and hugs wife. Daughter runs off, comes back with toy. JIMMY'S DAUGHTER Daddy! Look what grandma got me! A stuffed ape with green vest and red hat. JIMMY SMITH Real nice, honey. Ape doll winks at Jimmy. FADE OUT
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Old 12-25-2013, 03:42 AM   #3
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Default Re: Entries - Xmas 2013 short script challenge

ELFIS!

Code:
FADE IN Flying over snow and ice. Beyond a small rise - a bay of crystal blue waters lap at the base of a massive glacier. On the near shore, a stage is lit and a crowd waits... EXT. HARBOR AMPITHEATER STAGE - DUSK The MC is a hipster elf - pointed ears, green porkpie hat. Behind him a neon sign flashes "North Pole Idol" MC And now - ladies and gentlemen, The one... The only... The crowd is Santa's ELVES dressed for the beach. POLAR BEARS. REINDEER. MRS CLAUS under an umbrella. SNAP ZOOM to the top of the glacier. A lone silhouette atop it. There's a tremendous CRACK from the ice. Snow and ice shoot up like fireworks. MC ELFIS!!! Sunglasses, a jet-black pompadour high above pointed ears. A green and red jumpsuit open at his chest. Female elves swoon. Guys roll their eyes. The glacier CRACKS and calves beneath his feet. The ice wall crashes to the sea. Spray and snow obscure his fall. The crowd gasps. A surf guitar riff picks up as the ice creates a huge wave. Then - there he is - surfing the wave to the stage on a sliver of ice. His lip curled. He jumps, somersaults through the air, catches a thrown microphone and lands dramatically. Behind him the ice wall now has the word "ELFIS" carved in giant block letters that sparkle in the sun like rhinestones. ELFIS How y'all doing? It's a rich, southern baritone from the slight, small elf. SEALS clap. A pod of WHALES in the bay behind him spout like the Bellagio fountains and Elfis sings - ELFIS I'll have a Blue Christmas without you... At the edge of the crowd, two elves - GUS and ARNIE lean against a tiki bar. They are in ski caps, Hawaiian shirts with snowflakes, shorts and flip-flops. In the snow. GUS He's on today. The guy is good. ARNIE Yeah, he's got talent. But so what? He's just an elf. Gus stops in mid-sip, his tropical drink with a candy cane sticking out. GUS Just an elf? ARNIE Sure. Monday he'll be right back on the line with us. Like always. In the crowd FEMALE ELVES are going nuts. Two conspire. PAULINE, short blonde hair, nods to EARLENE who blushes. On stage Elfis is singing when the ski cap comes flying onstage. He picks it up, a touch embarrassed and then swings it over his head. Bareheaded Earlene faints. The song ends and Elfis bows. SANTA makes his way to the mic, wearing a red untucked shirt, shorts and flip-flops. A straw hat back on his head. The crowd chants. CROWD SAN-TA, SAN-TA, SAN-TA... The jolly old elf quiets the crowd. Nods to Elfis. SANTA Ho, Ho Ho... Thank you, Thank you - Elfis - great job as always. You do know how to bring down the ice. Polite laughs. SANTA Our final numbers are in and we had a great year this year. Outstanding job everybody! He applauds the crowd and they respond the same way. SANTA Enjoy tonight, Monday we ramp up production for this year and it'll be our biggest one ever! INT. SANTA'S WORKSHOP FACTORY FLOOR - DAY SUPER - MONTHS LATER Pauline is troubled. She looks at her iPad. Makes a note, walks to Elfis. He's on a SEWING MACHINE making doll dresses. Above him the TOTE BOARD shows DEC 17th Goal: 1020, Production: 1022 ELFIS Pauline? What's wrong? He checks the board. PAULINE As your supervisor I'm very happy. As your manager and President of your Fan Club, I'm troubled. She hands him the tablet. PAULINE (CONT'D) I just got this email. Elfis reads, his face brightens. It's the greatest thing he's ever read. ELFIS They want me to play a Christmas party? At Graceland!?! This is the best thing ever! PAULINE Yeah, a benefit for sick kids. ELFIS That's wonderful. And terrible at the same time. PAULINE It's the big break you've been working for. ELFIS It's incredible! It's fantastic! He wraps his arms around her, picks her up and they twirl around. PAULINE It's amazing. It's terrific! It's... a week before Christmas. He stops. Sets her down. Reality sets in. ELFIS ... and nobody gets off the week before Christmas. PAULINE Nobody. Their eyes meet. She's as devastated as he is. At the machines nearby, Gus and Arnie are packing dolls with the dresses Elfis has been sewing. ARNIE Like I said - He's just an elf. This is what we do. INT. SANTA'S WORKSHOP - DAY Pauline is on a phone near Elfis' darkened sewing area. PAULINE Do you think it's the flu? INTERCUT - Elfis is at the airport. On the tarmac beyond a private plane waits. Behind the plane, eight reindeer and a sleigh are doing touch and go landings. ELFIS It's probably just a 24-hour thing. I'm sure I'll be better tomorrow. PAULINE Everyone will just have to pitch in and make it up. Get well. ELFIS I'll try. (Then raspy) I mean, I'll try. He hangs up and looks at the phone. Then walks to the plane with his guitar case in hand. EXT. GRACELAND - NIGHT A limo turns through the gates at Graceland. Elfis watches awestruck from the back seat. He's in heaven. INT. GRACELAND CONCERT HALL - NIGHT Elfis is onstage. From his POV we see hundreds of kids, moms and dads. Some kids are in wheelchairs, some bald. Some with IV stands. They watch him intently. ELFIS ... I'll be home for Christmas, If only in my dreams. There's not a dry eye in the place. Everybody applauds. ELFIS Thankyou, Thankyou very much. Elfis takes a bow and then comes off stage. He has a huge smile. It's packed backstage. WOMAN You were great! They loved you. ELFIS Did you see their faces? They were so happy! This is the greatest night of my life. He tucks his guitar into the case, turns and runs smack into Santa with his load of toys for the kids. ELFIS Mr. Claus! SANTA Elfis? What are you doing here? I thought you were sick? You called in... ELFIS I ... uh ... I mean... Realization. SANTA (CONT'D) You lied? Oh, Elfis. Oh my. You know what this means. Elfis is mortified. ELFIS Sir, really. Not the... Santa's disappointment shows... SANTA The Naughty List. I'm afraid so. Elfis grasps his chest. MAN The Naughty List is real? SANTA You think I brought you socks all those years because you'd been good? See me in my office tomorrow, Elfis. Totally dejected. ELFIS Yes sir... Santa shakes his head, then straightens his jacket and cap, picks up his pack and heads on stage, waving. SANTA Ho! Ho ! Ho! Merry Christmas! INT. LIMO - MEMPHIS - NIGHT ELFIS This is the worst night of my life. WOMAN But you were helping our kids ELFIS And I lied to do it. That doesn't make it any better. INT. SANTA'S WORKSHOP FACTORY FLOOR - DAY Elfis walks slowly, dejectedly to his sewing machine. His shirt now has a large black "N" on it. Arnie and Gus look angry as he walks back by. Pauline looks disappointed. He takes his seat and begins to sew. The tote board reads Dec 23rd Goal: 5200 Production: 37. Elfis sews. And sews and sews. The whistle blows and still he sews. The tote board clicks over 1273, 1274, 1275... He sews. Around him the lights go out. 3206, 3207, 3208... THE NEXT MORNING - Elfis is asleep at his sewing machine. The area is piled high with wrapped gifts. Pauline walks in checking her tablet. The tote board reads Dec 24th Goal: 5200 Production: 5214. She shakes him awake. PAULINE You worked all night? ELFIS I owed you guys that. PAULINE Today's Christmas eve. We weren't going to make it. You did it. She hugs him. PAULINE Thank you. The elves file in, marveling at the piles of presents. INTERCOM Elfis, report to the office. INT. SANTA'S OFFICE - DAY It's not a large office. A couple of side chairs. A photo of Mrs Claus on the credenza behind. SANTA Have a seat. Cookie? Warm milk? ELFIS No thank you, sir. SANTA I saw this morning's production report. You worked all night? ELFIS Yes sir. It was the least I could do. I let the team down. SANTA Just getting your job done doesn't make up for lying, but I received some nice messages thanking me for arranging for you to sing. ELFIS I'm glad they enjoyed the show. It really was fun. SANTA You made a lot of sick kids very happy, Elfis. It was a very nice thing to do. Elfis nods. Then the realization hits. With a Sparkle the large black N on Elfis' shirt becomes a golden script N. SANTA Welcome back to the Nice list. ELFIS Oh, thank you sir! SANTA Which means you and Pauline will need to talk about this - He hands over his iPad, pointing to an email. EXT. LAS VEGAS STRIP - NIGHT Lights blaze. Flying past fountains and animated neon. The giant marquee reads NEW YEAR'S LIVE! ONSTAGE! ELFIS! Through the doors and into the Concert Hall where Elfis vaults onstage. Pyrotechnics blow, lasers blast and the giant ELFIS letters behind him flash and glimmer. The music under is an instrumental open of Viva Las Vegas ELFIS How ya'll doing? He takes up the chorus as it comes through ELFIS Viva Las Vegas! Viva Las Vegas! As he sings out the second verse we see Pauline backstage in a sparkling white gown and matching ski cap. Earlene is dressed to the nines as well. Out in the crowd, Arnie and Gus sit at a table. ARNIE OK, maybe he's not just an elf. FADE OUT
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Old 12-25-2013, 03:58 AM   #4
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Default Re: Entries - Xmas 2013 short script challenge

A Matter of Belief

Code:
EXT. ROOF TOPS - NIGHT Santa's sleigh settles gently on the snow clad roof, nestling between the chimney and the satellite dish. For a man of large stature Santa moves with surprising speed and agility. He consults a list peering over bifocal spectacles, frowns and swaps several items from Santa's sack to a smaller more chimney practical sack. He hops off the sleigh and gives each reindeer a slice of apple and a pat with a gentle smile. Reaching the chimney he rolls his shoulders and neck, like an athlete warming up. All of his focus is on the chimney and the tendril of smoke drifting skywards. Several times he tenses as the smoke dies away, then he surges toward... -- POP! INT. THE MILLER'S SITTING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER -- POP! He's there. He doesn't come out of the fire place, but he doesn't not either. It's not teleportation and its not shrinking to fit through a soot clogged flue, but maybe its a little of both. A strange expression crosses his face, confusion tempered by surprise, a wince of pain. He rolls his head and his neck CLICKS. He belches and his face eases back to smiling joviality. SANTA Ohhh that burns! Didn't use to happen. Damn burping! He walks to the Christmas tree and inspects it. It's a small bent lop-sided pine, clad in cheap Chinese trinkets. They've been dumped on, as much to counterbalance the twisted stem as anything. SANTA (CONT'D) Xmas tree, check, decorations, check, milk and cookies, woefully absent. He sighs. He unscrolls his list. He pulls the top off a magic marker with his teeth and annotates the list. SANTA (CONT'D) (speaking past the marker lid between his teeth) Expectations not met. Millers, two parent family, father working, two children... one really thought... they might... have... made an effort. (beat) The effort! He slumps. His face sags bags form under his eyes, his shoulders narrow and his waist widens. Even his beard looks a little manky, like the shaggy flea bitten hide of a back alley dog. The glimmering white dusting of snow on his hat and coat suddenly melts and drips to the floor like dirty water. His uniform, the RED becomes red, then off red, maybe brownish, desaturated, rumpled SANTA (CONT'D) No one really believes anymore. Seconds pass while he's lost in introspection. SANTA (CONT'D) Ahhhhhh f*** it. His eyes widen. SANTA (CONT'D) Sh*t? SANTA (CONT'D) Motherf***er. A$$hole. He looks profoundly shocked. SANTA (CONT'D) I don't think that's good. That is definitely against the f***ing rules. He purses his lips and silently reaches a decision. SANTA (CONT'D) C... K... Cu.... Oh thank God! There's still something left... He eases his bulk into an armchair and stares morosely at the (really, really crap) tree as though its the cause. He stretches out a leg and with a booted toe he nudges one of the poorly wrapped parcels already under the tree. At the touch of his boot the gaudy cardboard box of some foldable transformable plastic toy erupts though the tacky Xmas wrap. SANTA (CONT'D) Ahhh sh*t, is China the new Santa? Really? Honestly? Cos that's just sh*t. There's a sliding skittering noise and a series of thumps. Startled Santa scrambles from the chair (well as fast as an old tired maybe terminally defeated icon can scramble) and he peeks through the frost scarred window. EXT. SANTA'S POV - CONTINUOUS The sleigh has slipped off the roof dragging the harnessed reindeer with it into a mass of shattered antlers and snapped reindeer legs. Only Rudolph is unharmed but never have you seen such a distressed frantic reindeer... INT. THE MILLER'S SITTING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER What remains of the jolly fat dude is dumbstruck. He sobs. He staggers backwards, his big black boots somehow too big for him, and somehow reaches the liquor cabinet. His gaze falls on a bottle of bourbon. SANTA That'll f***ing do the trick... He opens the foil, opens the lid and drinks it like water... and burps. He drops the empty bottle. He stares into the middle distance for a few second, carefully raises a finger, and delivers it straight to his nose. About as sober as a fat, red clad dude can get. SANTA (CONT'D) ...and not a f***ing thing. Wasn't freely given... So... piss on it! A solitary tear squeezes out of his left eye and trickles down his sagging dry face. It looses cohesion around his nose, and dries there on a flake of dry skin. He returns to the easy chair. He slumps into it, like a crazy half inflated water filled sex doll. Over several seconds he deflates still further. SANTA (CONT'D) I don't feel so grand... The words are mumbled, his jaw is loosing its shape. A tooth falls on his lap. SANTA (CONT'D) Ahh Shid! He goes to get out of the easy chair, rolls out and sprawls on the floor. Carefully he pull his naughty/nice list out. A gnarled finger traces down the list. SANTA (CONT'D) Anthony Miller, six years... you'll do. You'll have to. That, that was Santa moves towards the stairs. He's like a drunk, holding himself up, his knees have lost all rigidity. He hoists himself up the stairs, moving slower and slower. Wheezing breath by asthmatic breathe. The stairs CREAK. INT. FIRST FLOOR - CONTINUOUS The boys room has his name on the door. ANTHONY MILLER'S ROOM, ADMITTANCE FOR PIRATES AND NINJAS ONLY Santa smiles, a sad lop-sided, stroke-like grimace from the once jolly fat man. He steps forwards and a floor board creaks It's LOUD! ANTONY (O.S.) Is someone there? Santa reaches for the door knob but over balances. He slumps into the drywall. It's like 200 pounds of jello impacting at five miles an hour. No real impact but this creak is truly catastrophic. The whole wall GROANS. Santa looks shocked. ANTONY (O.S.) (CONT'D) Mom? Dad? Again Santa tries opening the door. His fingers finds purchase briefly. There are CLICKS and NOISES as the lever turns and the mechanism works but fails to release. ANTONY (O.S.) (CONT'D) Go away. You can't come it. My door's locked. Santa smiles. There's something unhealthy in it now. -- POP! INT. CLOSET - MOMENTS LATER -- POP! He's there. He pushes aside clothing on hangers. The hangers make a SCREEEEEEEE noise as they slide. ANTONY Arrghhhhh! Santa stands on a toy, something bendable, plastic, changeable and franchisable. It SNAPS and SHATTERS under his boot! In his bedroom Anthony whimpers pathetically. ANTONY (CONT'D) There's a monster in my closet. Santa grins manically. He's changed. The jolly fat man has elongated. The fat is stripping away under his skin. It writhes under his flesh like worms. It spills out of his mouth, running down fifty razor sharp piranha teeth and dripping to the closet floor in sluggish oily droplets. He's changed. Fat Santa is no more. He's elongated, cruelly stretched. Limbs, torso, fingers, finger nails. He longer fits in the closet. Whenever he moves he pushes something, new NOISES happen. He's changed. Santa's costume is no more. The red is multi- hued brown, like dried and drying blood. It clings to him like a fifty year old filthy carpet, matted and threadbare. NEW SANTA Ant-s-ony? Scarcely audible, the warm of a snake hiss. But Anthony has the ears of a hawk, he whimpers. Then screams. A `monster in my closet' scream! INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER Mr and Mrs Miller wake at their son's scream. MICHELLE MILLER Anthony? Anthony screams again from his room A wild undulating pain filled bellow. Both leap out of bed They spill into... INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Mr Miller first, Mrs Miller second by a short nose They crash into the wall and slam into Anthony's door. INT. ANTHONY'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS The parents thunder into the room. The bed appears empty! The covers are back. MICHELLE MILLER Anthony! She rips the bed covers right off No boy! HANK MILLER Ant! Ant! Mister Miller runs to the window. It's closed and locked. He stares at his wife. There's a WHIMPER. Under the bed. Both parents dive for the floor. INT. UNDER BED - CONTINUOUS Anthony huddles under the bed, his back hard against the wall. Tears trickle down his face. HANK MILLER Wassup little dude? ANTONY MONSTER! MONSTER IN MY CLOSET! Hank smiles. HANK MILLER It's okay dude. We're here now. ANTONY MONSTER DADDY! But he crawls slowly out. HANK MILLER In your closet you say buddy? ANTONY No Daddy! The boy scoots in front of his father, clutching his shins. Hank picks his son up and holds him under one arm and ruffles his hair with his other hand. HANK MILLER Time for sleepz I think mister. ANTONY There's a Monster. A big skinny long one, with teeff and claws. MICHELLE MILLER Common Anty, time for sleep. ANTONY MONSTER! He extracts an arm and points at the closet. Mr Miller sighs and places his son on the floor. HANK MILLER Shall I open the closet and beat up the monster Ant? ANTONY Nooooooooo! HANK MILLER It's okay Mister. Daddy's tougher than any monster. Anthony pulls a skeptical face. Hank is a little taken aback. He puts his son down, puts a finger to his lips, then creeps towards the closet. Anthony shakes his head slowly. Slowly, Hank grasps the handle. -- POP! HANK MILLER (CONT'D) See, nothing there. EXT. ROOF TOPS - CONTINUOUS -- POP! That, that was Santa, clings precariously to the roof. While the jolly fat man was no advertisement for roof climbing this is even less so. It licks its lips. Gleaming beady black eyes inspect a taloned hand. Experimentally its flexes its fingers. NEW SANTA This? Seriously boy, this is what you believe in? Awkwardly it levers it's self upwards and catches sight of its praying mantis like shadow cast by a street light. It groans. NEW SANTA (CONT'D) A year? A whole year of this! You should have believed... Arrggghhhhhhhhhhh! I should... I should.... I should go right back there and show what this really... - POP! INT. CLOSET - MOMENTS LATER -POP! In the darkness, between the coat and the jacket, standing on broken plastic toys, something grins.
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Old 12-25-2013, 04:05 AM   #5
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The Other Pole

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FADE IN: EXT. NORTH POLE. NIGHT Through haze and snowfall. GRAPHIC: The North Pole SANTA'S WORKSHOP Closer. Inbound. Seeing through the window, ELVES hard at work, about 800 green spandex-clad midgets. Bells jingle, Christmas tunes, it's so sugary and wholesome. Building IPhones and PS3 stations, soldering irons, circuit boards... INT. ELF WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS Float inside, paintings of Santa on the wall, funky Christmas music, and then bloodthirsty BLACKCLAD ELF NINJAS bust in. Throwing stars, arrows, javelins, heads flying, limbs hacked off with swords, a blood splattered massacre. Lights flicker sickly. Door opens and a fat muthaf***a in an all black Santa costume stands in silhouette. Flicks lighter. Flame on cigar illuminates his beard-- EVIL SANTA Ninja changes the tunage to some hardcore gangsta rap. NINJA South si-ide! The Ninjas strut around gangsta style, gathering the goodies in sacks. Evil Santa nods knowingly. EVIL SANTA Torch this sh*t. Elf Ninjas douse the workshop with gasoline. EXT. WORKSHOP - NIGHT Ninjas pile goodies into sleds, pulled by DRAGONS. Evil Santa turns away, flicks lighter and tosses it back over his shoulder into the doorway. Large blast as the workshop burns to a crisp. Evil Santa's posse escapes into the night sky. EVIL SANTA Ho ho that, a$$hole! Ninja Elf chatter and laughter... EXT. THICK CLOUDS. DAY (VO) Blitzen? You tired, buddy? 3 SANTA'S SLED Flying through the misty soup. SANTA Home, boy. Come on, you can do it. REINDEER look old and tired. MRS. CLAUS sits beside him. SANTA Honey, you have put on a few pounds. WHACK! Quick smack to the chops. EXT. SMOLDERING WORKSHOP - DAY Santa sees the smoke. SANTA Huh! No! The Russian mob? MRS. CLAUS More like your piece of sh*t no good loser brother, Nick. SANTA Dick? Santa inspects the debris, dead Elf. Mrs. Claus retrieves a big shotgun from the sled, loads it up. MRS. CLAUS I've had it with his sh*t! SANTA CLAUS Baby, baby, calm down. MRS. CLAUS Don't tell me to calm down! You pu$$y! SANTA CLAUS But we can't-- MRS. CLAUS Sh*t just got real, Nick. I ain't f*ckin' around! Mrs. C. puts on her sunglasses and jumps back in the sled, wielding the shotgun. MRS. CLAUS You comin' or not? SANTA Yes, yes, yes dear. Santa scurries over and in. The sled rockets off. EXT. NOVOROSSIYSK. DOCK. NIGHT Among the stacks of containers with Cyrillic words. Evil Santa's posse flies down with the booty. Limousines arrive, black SUVs. Russian BOSSES emerge with metal cases, PROSTITUTES, machine gun wielding BODY GUARDS. Evil Santa comes forward from the dragon-pulled black sleds, with his Ninja crew. EVIL SANTA Yuri? You got something for me? RUSSIAN MOB BOSS It's always a pleasure to see you my friend. EVIL SANTA Cut the friend sh*t, you naughty motherf***er. Mob Boss loses his smile, snaps his fingers. Henchmen push the Prostitutes forward. Elf Ninja eyes, scared whores. RUSSIAN MOB BOSS This is all the toys? EVIL SANTA For now. Try being good next year. RUSSIAN MOB BOSS Well you know, it's difficult for me, in my positio-- EVIL SANTA Tell it to your shrink or your whores. Give it. Mob Boss presents the metal case. SKY - SIMULTANEOUS Mrs. C. spots them below. MRS. CLAUS Take the reins, and don't f*** this up, Nick. SANTA CLAUS Before we do anything rash, honey, I just think we should talk-- BAM! Punch across the chops. SANTA CLAUS Yes dear. Mrs. C. bends over down into the back of the sled, struggles with something heavy... INTERCUTTING BELOW In the SUV a Russian operative panics. Little radar display and bleeps... The Russians look around, up in the sky, panic spreads forward. EVIL SANTA What's with your d*ckheads, Yuri? Seem a little jumpy. RUSSIAN MOB BOSS I, I don't know. (turns to CAPO, in Russian) Find out quickly. Capo runs back. Everyone looks around. Suddenly -- Evil Santa's sled is bombed from above, massive fireball. Boss and Evil Santa thrown to the ground. Dead Elf Ninjas peppered across the black deck. MRS. CLAUS (O.S.) How you like that, Dick!? Santa's Sled buzzes the devastated scene, skims the flames. Mrs. Claus fires shotgun BLAST after BLAST, takes out mobsters and little Ninjas with savage glee. MRS. CLAUS You f***ed with the wrong pole! As the sled rockets off-- SANTA CLAUS She's a little high strung, Richard, not at all like my first wiiiife... Evil Santa, face down on the concrete, rises like a volcano. EVIL SANTA Bitch!!! EXT. SANTA'S SLED * CONTINUING Mrs. C. takes off into the clouds. Far below a series of explosions devastates the port. Santa watches the glow with melancholy. SANTA CLAUS Well I guess this year's toast. I'm going to have to write it off. MRS. CLAUS That's all right. She turns to him with a love potion in her eyes, glitter dancing in the air. SANTA CLAUS But-- MRS. CLAUS Shhh. I know we can find something better to do this year. SANTA CLAUS But the I-Google 17 line-- MRS. CLAUS Shut up and kiss me, buffoon! They make out with tongue as they glide away, pulled by appalled, overworked, decrepit, mangy reindeer. EXT. PORT * NIGHT Burned and blown to hell, everyone dead except for Evil Santa. Fire flickers behind his dark girth. He lifts the charred head of a dragon, drops it. Takes out his lighter, lights another stogie. EVIL SANTA Think this is over, Nicky? Spits the end of the cigar out. Extreme close, extreme evil-- EVIL SANTA I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. END.
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Old 12-25-2013, 04:21 AM   #6
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Godfather Christmas

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FADE IN: ANIMATION: EXT. HOLLYWOOD MANSION - DAWN - ESTABLISHING Crickets CHIRP and haunting, mournful MUSIC plays. INT. MANSION BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS SHINY BLACK BOOTS next to an antique chair. Draped over the chair are RED TROUSERS and a RED COAT with WHITE TRIM. And a FLOPPY RED HAT with a WHITE POM-POM. And a BIG BLACK BELT. Asleep in an antique bed is a large Man. Facing away. Snowy white hair. Balding on top. The Man stirs. Rolls over. It's SANTA. He slowly wakes. Increasingly PUZZLED. He pulls his HAND from under the sheets. It's covered in BLOOD. He pulls the sheets up. BLOOD EVERYWHERE. Distressed, he pulls the sheets all the way off. Exposing, RUDOLPH'S SEVERED HEAD. The EYES bulge. The TONGUE hangs out. The NOSE is CUT OFF. SANTA ARRGGHHHHHHHHHHH! INT. MALL - DAY SHOPPERS doing their thing. SANTA (O.S.) ARRGGHH!! ARRGGHH!! ALL HEADS turn to -- INT. SANTA'S MALL WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS Santa, in FULL UNIFORM, in his big workshop chair. He looks around. Disoriented. Flustered. SANTA Argh? Argh? He looks down at -- Two Elves, SONNY and TOM. Sonny shakes his head. SONNY Bad dream. Bad dream. SANTA (relieved) Oh, ah ...? TOM Ho-ho-ho. SANTA Right. Santa turns to the waiting NERVOUS KIDS and NERVOUS PARENTS. SANTA (CONT'D) Err ... (full jolly voice) HO! HO! HO! EVERYBODY relaxes a little. SANTA (CONT'D) Okay. Good. Who's first? It's JIMMY, aged 7. His MUM holds his shoulders. SANTA (CONT'D) Come on up, young man. The Mum releases Jimmy and gives him a little shove. He approaches and Santa lifts him up onto his lap. SANTA (CONT'D) And what's your name? JIMMY J-jimmy. SANTA Okay J-jimmy. What can I do for you? JIMMY Some boys. They stole my bike. And they jumped on it. And broke it. And they let the air out and- SANTA Is that the bike I gave you last year? JIMMY Ah-ha. SANTA And did ever you thank me? Jimmy hangs his head. JIMMY Uh-uh. Santa sounds like he's got cotton wool stuffed in his cheeks. SANTA Did you ever offer me your friendship? JIMMY Uh-uh. SANTA (a little scary) And now you come to me for justice? JIMMY Huh? SANTA Is it justice that I kill these boys for you? JIMMY No! What? I just want a new bike. Santa JOLTS back to normal(?). SANTA Oh. Ha-ha. Ho-ho. A new bike. Right. Ah ... That's all? Just ... A new bike? JIMMY Ah-ha. SANTA (subtle hint) I might do this ... for a friend. JIMMY (thinks; idea) Will you be my friend ... Godfather Christmas? Santa smiles. Looks down at the Elves. SANTA Tom. A new bike for my new friend. Tom nods. JIMMY Oh, goody! SANTA And Sonny. Put those boys on ... The Naughty List. Sonny smiles. Nods. CLOSE ON SONNY'S EYES EXT. REMOTE ROADSIDE - DAY (FLASHBACK) A car is parked on the shoulder of the road. A MAN is in the front seat. An ELF, rises up in the back seat. ELF (V.O.) You're on The Naughty List. BANG! The Man FLOPS forward. BANG! BANG! END FLASHBACK - BACK TO SCENE Santa lowers Jimmy to the floor. Jimmy runs to his Mum. SANTA (hushed) Little prick still didn't thank me. SONNY What can you do, huh? SANTA (big voice) Okay! Who's next? A LITTLE GIRL, 5, skips JOYFULLY to Santa. DISSOLVE TO: INT. FRUIT MART - DAY Santa, MUTTERING, points to ORANGES. The GROCER puts some in a PAPER BAG. Waiting across from the store, next to a COIN-OPERATED KIDDY- CAR, is another Elf, FREDO. Two SUSPICIOUS BOYS, 14, walk BRISKLY up to the store. They grab TOMATOES and hurl them at Santa. Santa RUNS from the store, SLIPS on a SQUISHED TOMATO and CRASHES into the kiddy-car. SPLATTERED in tomato juice, he falls -- Slowly -- Painfully dramatically -- To the floor. Fredo grabs a ROLLING TOMATO. Fumbles. Drops it. The Assassins flee. Fredo squats beside Santa and BAWLS his eyes out. INT. DRY CLEANERS - DAY The CLEANER examines Santa's TOMATO-STAINED SUIT. He exaggerates the 'doesn't-look-good' look. INT. ELVES' HUT - DAY Sonny, Tom and a few OTHER ELVES sit around. SONNY Tom. You're Consigliere. What happens if we lose the old man? TOM Then we lose the mall contract. The Easter Bunny will take over everything. A young Elf enters. This is MIKEY. MIKEY You gonna kill those guys. SONNY Stay out of it, Mikey. INT. FIRST AID STATION - DAY Santa, in his LONG-JOHNS, holds an ICE-PACK to his knee. Mikey comes in. Looks around. MIKEY Where's the Mall Cops? SANTA Gone. MIKEY Come on. We gotta get you outta here. Mikey leads the way. Santa LIMPS after him. Still holding the ice-pack to his knee. INT. SECURITY ROOM - DAY Mikey, alone, faces off with a gruff, big-mouthed MALL COP. MIKEY What happened to the cops guarding the old man? MALL COP I pulled 'em off. Now scram, you little punk. The Mall Cop SLAPS Mikey's face. HARD. INT. ELVES' HUT - DAY Mikey, his JAW SWOLLEN, joins the other Elves. TOM The Mall Cop who broke Mikey's jaw is on the Bunny's payroll. MIKEY (wired jaw) Set up a meeting. Me, the Cop and the Bunny. INT. FOOD COURT - DAY The Mall Cop and THE EASTER BUNNY are eating at a table. Mikey walks up to them. ONE HAND behind his back. He leaps onto the table, brandishing -- -- A HAND OF BANANAS. In unison, the Mall Cop and the Bunny GASP. Mikey RIPS one banana off. STUFFS it down the Bunny's throat. RIPS another off. STUFFS it down the Mall Cop's throat. Then STUFFS another one into the gaping chasm. Mikey drops the rest of the bananas, hops off the table and skips away. The Mall Cop and the Bunny CHOKE. SPINNING NEWSPAPER Headline reads: MALL COP LINKED WITH CANDY RACKETS EXT. SKY - ARCTIC TWILIGHT A FLYING SLEIGH, pulled by REINDEER, reduces in altitude. EXT. SANTA'S MAIN WORKSHOP - ARCTIC TWILIGHT TITLE: North Pole Santa, his suit now CLEAN, limps into the well-lit workshop. INT. WORKSHOP - CONTINUOUS Hundreds of ELVES jump up and down. CHANTING. ELVES Santa! Santa! Santa! (big finish; star jump) SANTA! SANTA (applause) Very good. Okay, where's Mikey? SONNY It was Mikey who choked the Bunny. SANTA Beats spanking the monkey, huh? So, where is he? TOM Where no-one can find him. EXT. ANTARCTICA - DAY TITLE: Antarctica PENGUINS EVERYWHERE. They part. Mikey, dressed in BLACK AND WHITE thermals, emerges, HAND in WING with a PRETTY PENGUIN. They WADDLE across the ice. OTHER PENGUINS follow at a discreet distance. SLOW FADE OUT: End Part 1a
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Old 12-25-2013, 04:25 AM   #7
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Christmas Chaos

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EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD, PHOENIX, AZ - DAY It's the type that has a vigilant HOA. Each well-kept house is lit for the season - clear lights, all in row, just blinking to life in the dusky afternoon. Except one. EXT. BOB AND BETTY'S HOUSE - DAY A ladder BANGS against the roof. A male voice curses. The ladder vibrates, a man's balding head slowly rises into frame. This is BOB (40s, still trim enough to tuck his polo shirt into his khakis). Bob has a length of Christmas lights looped over his shoulder and a sour expression on his face. On the ground below his wife, BETTY (also 40s, also trim, but her expression is skeptical). BETTY It's Christmas Eve. Why bother? BOB Everybody complained that I didn't put up the lights, I'll put up the goddam lights. BETTY You're being ridiculous. A large DOG barrels around the corner of the house, pursued by a BOY on a BICYCLE. The dog runs under the ladder, the boy on the bike runs into the ladder, sending it crashing to the ground. BOB (O.S.) AUUUUGH! INT. CAR - DAY Betty drives. Bob - cut, bloody, wrapped in Christmas lights and with leaves stuck in his hair and clothes - sits in the passenger seat. BOB I don't need to go to the hospital, Ellen. BETTY Ellen's your sister. I'm your wife. BOB Maybe I should go to the hospital. INT. ELLEN AND STAN'S HOUSE - NIGHT A massive Christmas tree, lavishly decorated in gold and white ornaments, dominates the room. The tip pushes against the ceiling and curves back down, the bay window behind it is barely visible. STAN (40s, wearing a turtleneck un-ironically) stands before the tree and frowns. His wife, ELLEN (30s) comes up behind him. Ellen disdains turtlenecks and garish Christmas trees. ELLEN That was Betty, she says they have to cancel... What's wrong? STAN The star. ELLEN It fell off. STAN Well why didn't you put it back on? ELLEN It's too hard to get up there. Besides it was marking up the ceiling. STAN You can't have a tree without a star. ELLEN You can have a behemoth tree in a little tiny room. You always get a tree that's too big. Everyone thinks you're overcompensating. It's embarrassing. STAN Where is my star? Ellen walks away without bothering to answer. Stan pouts, goes looking for the star itself. The tree stands alone. MOMENTS LATER Stan returns, sleeves rolled up. He carries a large, sparkly gold star in one hand and drags a dining room chair behind him with the other. He pulls the chair up to the tree, stands on it, stretches his arm up, up, up... nope. He pulls back, assesses the situation. He reaches into the tree itself, takes firm hold of the trunk and tries to bend the top of the tree towards him. Still no luck. He takes a deep breath. Jumps. EXT. ELLEN AND STAN'S HOUSE - DAY Ellen stands in the yard. Behind her, the tree hangs halfway out the broken bay window. Two PARAMEDICS push a gurney - bearing a bloody Stan - down the walkway toward a waiting ambulance. As they load Stan into the ambulance, Ellen walks up. She looks down at Stan - his face and chest are dotted with shards of glass. ELLEN I'll meet you at the hospital after I call Ted and Marjorie. INT. BEDROOM - TED AND MARJORIE'S HOUSE '96 NIGHT MARJORIE, a statuesque brunette in her 40s, checks her reflection in the full length mirror on the wall and finds it more than satisfactory. She gives herself a little smile. The smile fades when she spots her husband TED's reflection behind her. He's not dressed. In fact, he's BUTT NAKED , but for a Santa hat. He stands with both hands behind his back and he's clearly in a good mood. Marjorie turns around. MARJORIE We don't have time. We're late already. Ted pulls a sprig of greenery from behind his back and dangles it over his crotch. TED Come on, honey. Somebody's under the mistletoe. The phone RINGS. Marjorie crosses the bedroom to answer it. MARJORIE That's not mistletoe by the way, that's poison ivy. Ted drops the greenery and dashes across the bedroom into the bathroom. A mighty CRASH is heard, followed by Ted's HOWLS OF PAIN. INT. TRIAGE, EMERGENCY ROOM - NIGHT Ted, his face bruised and bloodied, sits on an examination table, grimacing as a young DOCTOR examines his crooked nose. MARJORIE ...and then he slipped and fell, right into the bathtub faucet. DOCTOR It's definitely broken. The doctor bends down, fixes Ted with a stern look. DOCTOR Didn't you ever learn "leaves of three, let it be"? INT. WAITING AREA, EMERGENCY ROOM - NIGHT Marjorie, Ellen, and Betty sit side by side by side in hard plastic chairs. The waiting room is every bit as grim as you'd imagine: drab paint, institutional tile and a collection of ancient magazines MARJORIE This sucks. ELLEN It's no way to spend Christmas, that's for sure. The three women sigh. Betty slumps forward, rests her chin on her hand. She sees a pair of biker BOOTS walk across the floor, looks up, sees that the boots are attached to a BIKER heading out the door with his arm in a sling. SHE SITS UP. SHE HAS AN IDEA... INT. BIKER BAR - NIGHT A CROWD hoots and cheers as a BARTENDER runs a lighter over three shot glasses filled with amber liquid. The chanting becomes coherent now '96 a rhythmic "Drink, Drink, Drink." Betty, Ellen and Marjorie, each holding a straw, emerge from the crowd. The bartender slides them each a shot and the women drink as the crowd cheers and applauds.
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Old 12-25-2013, 04:27 AM   #8
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Default Re: Entries - Xmas 2013 short script challenge

The Gift

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EXT. ALIEN PLAIN - DAY We pan across the landscape - think African savannah but with a purple sky. A large, green sun is setting. Trippy. Our hero, a three-legged toad-man named VINNIE, scans the horizon with his four eyes. A SATCHEL falls out of the sky and lands right next to him. Vinnie picks it up and looks inside - just a few handfuls of grey dust. His eyes narrow in confusion. Vinnie drops the bag - it's worthless - and starts to waddle off but quickly rethinks and comes back for it. Vinnie picks up the satchel and waddles off into the sunset. INT. CASTLE - DAY A fifteen-years-older Vinnie works behind a luxurious desk in a magnificent office. CUT TO: The satchel lies time worn and dust covered in a Kane-esque pile of miscellanea. EXT. CASTLE - DAY The castle is now ruined. A five-years-older Vinnie looks at it longingly, left with just a heavy looking TRUNK and... the satchel. INT. HILLSIDE CAVE - NIGHT Vinnie paints on the wall by firelight. The trunk - unpacked - and satchel are with him. This is his home. INT./EXT. HILLSIDE CAVE - MORNING Vinnie sits at the mouth of the cave with the satchel beside him and watches the sunrise while playing with the satchel's grey dust in his hand. INT./EXT. HILLSIDE CAVE - NIGHT Vinnie is sleeps at the back of the cave; the satchel is still lying at the mouth. A gust of wind blows the dust out of the satchel. As the dust mixes with the air, a DOORWAY to another world is opened. We can't see very far through the doorway but it looks like some kind of heaven. Another gust of wind comes and blows the doorway out of the air. Vinnie grunts in his sleep. END
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Old 12-25-2013, 04:34 AM   #9
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A Wild Turkey Christmas

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EXT. NORTH POLE - NIGHT Dark. A single string of Christmas lights illuminates the few buildings. They are: Santa's quaint little cottage, Santa's Workshop, the Elf Dormitory, and the Reindeer Stables. SANTA (V.O.) I never minded taking care of the reindeer. All they ask is a little bit of food, water, and shelter. In return, they work their ass off. What great little critters. INT. REINDEER STABLES - NIGHT SANTA stands in one stall, shoveling reindeer sh*t out the stall window. He works hard, without a break. His cell phone rings. He pulls it from his pocket. SANTA Hello? Yes dear. I'll be right in. He puts down his shovel and leaves the stall. INT. SANTA'S COTTAGE - NIGHT Santa enters and walks to THE BEDROOM MRS. CLAUS (60, 400 pounds) lies in a hospital bed. MRS. CLAUS Hello dear. I need the bedpan again. SANTA Of course dear. Santa brings a bedpan about two feet square and slides it under Mrs. Claus. She grimaces. MRS. CLAUS Uhhhhhhhhhh! She moves a little and Santa removes the bedpan and its steaming contents. He carries it away. EXT. NORTH POLE - NIGHT Santa pitches the bedpan's contents into the darkness and cleans it in a snowbank. He puts the bedpan outside his cottage and walks to his workshop. INT. WORKSHOP - NIGHT None of the ELVES are working. They lean back on their stools, their arms folded. The HEAD ELF smirks. SANTA What's going on? HEAD ELF It's a sitdown strike, you fat f***. You either double our pay or there's gonna be a sh*tload of unhappy children Christmas morning. SANTA I can't double your pay. Donations have been slow this year. HEAD ELF Well then, that's just tough sh*t. He folds his arms and smirks. SANTA If that's the way you want it. He walks out to a chorus of jeering Elves. EXT. NORTH POLE - NIGHT As Santa walks back to the stables, his cell phone rings. SANTA Hello? Dinner? Yes, of course dear. He changes direction and walks to his cottage. INT. SANTA'S COTTAGE - NIGHT THE KITCHEN Santa prepares his wife's dinner on an immense tray table. Traditional Christmas fare- a whole motherf***ing turkey with all the trimmings. He carries it to THE BEDROOM MRS. CLAUS Oh, thank you dear. That looks so good. SANTA Dig in, dear. You deserve it. Mrs. Claus chows down on the unfortunate bird. INT. REINDEER STABLES - NIGHT All the sh*t shoveled, Santa looks over his work. He glances at the reindeer. SANTA See you tomorrow, guys. INT. WORKSHOP - NIGHT SANTA'S OFFICE Santa sits at his desk. He opens a drawer and removes a bottle of Wild Turkey and a glass. He fills the glass and sips. Then drinks. He replaces the bottle in the drawer and opens another drawer. A Colt single action revolver awaits. He picks up the Colt and walks out the door. INT. ELVES' DORMITORY - NIGHT Rows and rows of bunk beds, all full of sleeping elves. Santa creeps past them until he comes to a door marked "HEAD ELF." HEAD ELF'S ROOM The head elf sleeps soundly, but not for long. He wakes to the sound of Santa's Colt revolver being cocked. Head Elf's eyes widen as Santa pushes the gun in his face. SANTA I don't know why I ever fooled with Elves in the first place. I should have hired Mexicans or Chinamen. They'll work their ass off and never complain. HEAD ELF Now Santa, don't be rash. SANTA Shut the f*** up, you little prick. For two cents I'd shoot the lot of you and just order the toys on the web. HEAD ELF You know you really don't need to-- SANTA Shut the f*** up! Santa shoves the gun into Head Elf's mouth. HEAD ELF Gurgle, gurgle, gleep-- SANTA But I'm a nice guy. I'm gonna give you another chance. You're gonna get all the toys put together, on time and under budget. And I'll let you live. He pulls the gun barrel from Head Elf's mouth. HEAD ELF Yes, of course Santa. Santa eases the Colt's hammer down and turns away. EXT. NORTH POLE - DAY Santa walks from his cottage to his workshop, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. INT. WORKSHOP - DAY As Santa enters he sees his Elves working hard making toys. The Head Elf works hardest of all. SANTA Morning boys. ELVES IN CHORUS Morning Santa. A contented smile on his face, he walks to SANTA'S OFFICE HE sits at his desk and drinks his coffee, turns on his computer, reads the day's news. He frowns. He finishes his coffee and opens a desk drawer and removes a bottle of Wild Turkey. He fills his cup. He drinks his whiskey and web-surfs until he falls asleep. INT. SANTA'S OFFICE - LATER Santa wakes to a ringing cell phone. He picks it up. SANTA Yes dear. Of course dear. EXT. NORTH POLE - DAY Santa walks to his cottage. INT. SANTA'S COTTAGE - DAY THE BEDROOM Santa slides a bedpan under his wife and waits while she does her business. MRS. CLAUS Uhhhhhh, aaaaaaaaaaah! Finished, dear. Santa removes the steaming tray, overflowing with Claus-sh*t. Some slides off the tray, onto the floor, onto the bed. SANTA You've really outdone yourself this time, dear. MRS. CLAUS Clean me up please. I'm afraid I made quite a mess. SANTA Yes, dear. MRS. CLAUS And then bring me another turkey. I've worked up quite an appetite. Santa stares at the steaming tray in his hands. SANTA Aaaaaaaaaaaah! He dumps the tray on his wife. MRS. CLAUS Santa! Stop! Santa whacks her with the tray. SANTA You dirty bitch! He slams the tray on her head, again and again. MRS. CLAUS Stop it! You're hurting me! SANTA Die bitch! Die. Santa doesn't stop until his wife lies dead and bloody. He drops the tray and walks to THE TROPHY ROOM A room filled with the heads of dead animals. He grabs his M-1 Garand rifle and straps on several bandoleers of ammunition. He locks and loads. He walks to THE GARAGE He gives his 57 Chevy a goodbye pat and walks to the trash can. He removes several empty whiskey bottles and fills them with gasoline and attaches cloth fuses. He packs the molotov cocktails in his toy-bag. INT. REINDEER STABLES - DAY Santa looks at his reindeer with tears in his eyes. SANTA Sorry guys. I have to do it. BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Eight shots, eight reindeer. All dead. EXT. NORTH POLE - DAY Elves stream out of the workshop to see what's going on. Santa opens fire. He shoots the Head Elf and as many others as he can. He opens his toy-bag and removes the molotov cocktails. He flicks his Bic lighter and lights the fuses. He throws the molotovs at every building in sight- the stables, his cottage, his workshop and the elves' dormitory. As everything burns he pulls off one boot. He places his M1's barrel in his mouth and pulls the trigger with his toe. BOOM! SUPER: IF YOU THINK YOU'RE DEALING WITH A LOT OF SH*T THIS CHRISTMAS, JUST BE GLAD YOU'RE NOT SANTA CLAUS. THE END
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Old 12-25-2013, 05:10 AM   #10
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Default Re: Entries - Xmas 2013 short script challenge

The Naughty List

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FADE IN INT. OFFICE - DAY JO-ANN, 30's and striking, sits behind a desk. She stares into the computer screen. The wall next to her is adorned with awards. The other half of the room contains a large white board. It's covered by Post-it-notes and hand writing. SUSIE and BRAD enter the office. Jo-Ann doesn't look up. JO-ANN I hope you are hear to tell me you've finished the article. Susie and Brad look at each other. He nods at Susie. She shakes her head back at him. They make big eyes at each other. JO-ANN Well? Susie clears her throat. Brad takes a half-step back. Susie looks back at him. She motions for him to come back. JO-ANN You have something to say Sally? Susie turns around. Jo-Ann's glare burns a hole in Susie's courage. SUSIE It's Susie, actually. Jo-Ann continues to stare. SUSIE I, we, were hoping to cut out at lunch today. You know for the holiday. Jo-Ann's stare becomes harder. SUSIE The only plane I can catch leaves at 1 so I was hoping... JO-ANN To leave before your work is done. Susie wipes her hands together. She quickly looks back at Brad. He stands with his head down. She looks back at Jo-Ann. SUSIE It's Christmas Eve. I always spend Christmas with my family. Jo-Ann looks at Brad. JO-ANN Feel the same way Brad? He mutters something incoherent, then shakes his head no. Susie's jaw drops. JO-ANN Okay Sally, you can leave. Susie stares wide-eyed. She smiles. Brad looks confused. SUSIE Thank you. I'll finish the project as soon as I get back. Jo-Ann stares into the computer. JO-ANN No need. Susie confused, looks at Brad then Jo-Ann. SUSIE Wha.. JO-ANN You're fired. Get out. Susie stands shaking. She looks back at an awe struck Brad. He shrugs. JO-ANN Still here? I said get out! A tear rolls down Susie's cheek. She bolts out of the room. Brad watches her go. He turns around to see Jo-Ann staring back at him. JO-ANN Is there something you wanted? Brad shakes his head no. JO-ANN Good because now you'll be working alone. I expect this done and on my desk first thing in the morning. Brad looks defeated. BRAD It's going to take me all night. Jo-Ann cocks her head. JO-ANN Awww. Are you going to miss your Homo party? Brad looks shocked. BRAD I don't think you are allowed to say... JO-ANN Get busy or I'll fire your ass too. Brad quickly exits. The clock on the wall spins from 9 to 12. Jo-Ann's desk phone buzzes. She pushes the button. JO-ANN What? SECRETARY Congressman Mark Smith is here to see you. Jo-Ann sports a devilish grin. JO-ANN Tell him I'm busy. Jo-Ann sits back in her chair and looks at the door. She puts her feet up on the desk and leans back. A frantic man enters the room. MARK, 40's, looks like he just walked off the cover of GQ. MARK What the hell is wrong with you? Jo-Ann's smile turns to a fake look of concern. JO-ANN What do you mean Mark? He shuts the door and quickly walks to the desk. MARK My wife knows about us. Jo-Ann gives him a shocked look. She stands. JO-ANN How on Earth could she know? Mark is now pissed. MARK Don't play with me Jo-Ann. You told her! Jo-Ann puts her hand on her chest. She tilts her head and lets her jaw drop. JO-ANN Mark how could you accuse me? I'm hurt. Mark, irate, knocks an award from her desk. MARK You don't have any feelings you bitch! Why did you do this? Jo-Ann turns back to her cold, hard self. She steps up to Mark. She puts her finger in his chest. JO-ANN We had a deal you crooked son-of-a-bitch. Mark slaps it away. MARK I'm a Congressman. I can't be bought. Jo-Ann smiles. JO-ANN You complete the deal or the stations will be airing a video I like to call jingle bells. Mark is terror stricken. He stares at Jo-Ann. She blows him a kiss. He storms out. Jo-Ann laughs. The hands on the clock spin to 6. INT. LAUNDROMAT - NIGHT MR. CHANG, 30's, stands behind the counter, defiant. MR. CHANG We closed. Jo-Ann throws a dress at him. JO-ANN You little bastard I need this cleaned. Mr. Chang shakes his head no. Jo-Ann steps to the counter. JO-ANN If you don't do this I'll have your slant-eyed ass shipped back where you came from. Mr. Chang leans toward here. MR. CHANG New Jersey? Jo-Ann, furious, storms out. EXT. CITY - NIGHT Jo-Ann turns back to the Laundromat door. She gives it the finger. She walks away, still giving it the finger. She walks into the Salvation Army worker. JO-ANN Why don't you watch where you're going. He looks her up and down. He turns away and rings his bell. Jo-Ann snatches the bell and hurls it into traffic. She kicks the collection bucket over and propels away. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Jo-Ann lounges on a high back sofa. An unlit Christmas tree stands in the corner. A ragged stocking hangs from the mantal of the fireplace. A cozy fire is the only light. Jo-Ann drinks wine and looks out the Penthouse window. A bright blue light catches her attention. She stands. She slowly makes her way to the window. She watches as a bright blue mist goes from rooftop to rooftop. JO-ANN I'll be damned. Suddenly the mist flies past her window and up to the roof. The fire dies completely. Jo-Ann turns to the fireplace. The mist comes out of the fireplace, circles the tree, then hovers around her stocking. The stocking bulges. The mist goes up the chimney. JO-ANN Those better be diamonds you fat f***. She walks to the mantal. The stocking stretches then falls to the floor. Coal spills out. Jo-Ann hurls her wine glass into the fireplace. She turns to walk away. The fire snaps and crackles back to life. It grows bigger. Jo-Ann turns around. Two horns poke from the fire. Slowly a figure emerges. Jo-Ann is paralyzed with fear. The figure walks to her, it's hooves clicking on the hardwood floor. The creature's long human face is wrinkled. It strokes it's long black beard. His forked tongue flicks. JO-ANN Who? What? The creature smiles. KRAMPUS The name is Krampus, Fräulein. He unslings a large basket from his back. He picks her up and folds her in half. Krampus places her in the basket. It shrinks around her. KRAMPUS Saint Nicholas takes care of those on the Nice list. He heaves the basket upon his back. KRAMPUS The Naughty list is left to me. He twirls around and walks into the fire. END
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