An Incident At The Lighthouse
INT. "LIGHTHOUSE" BAR - DAY
TWO NUNS walk in. MOTHER MARY (60s) and SISTER AGNES (40s).
Black habits, white wimples, crosses hanging from the neck.
A typical-fake Irish bar, wood and polished brass. On the
wall above the counter a scaled-down Lighthouse model,
complete with light.
Below, TWO CHEERLEADERS. Behind the counter, KATE (20s), in
front, back to the door, PENNY (20s).
Sister Agnes nudges Mother Mary, they move forward.
I like your costumes, look very real,
but we're still closed.
Penny looks back, startled at the approaching nuns.
Kate... they are real.
Real nuns? Not Halloween costumes?
Like, ordinary nuns? In my bar?
No, they're not ordinary nuns...
Under Kate's puzzled gaze, the nuns throw benevolent nods
and smiles her way, plant themselves in front of Penny.
Here we are. We bring you the
Oh, no, not again.
You left before taking the vows, but
Penny, you can't refuse the calling.
Yes, I can. I did.
I've been in your shoes. But the
calling was stronger. When you
realize what you can do--
No, no, I don't want to do it.
The two nuns glance at each other, Kate cuts in.
Look, sisters, no disrespect
intended, but not every girl is fit
for the habit. You'd better choose
someone else, leave Penny alone.
It's not us who choose.
Well, Penny has a choice and she
chooses not to join your club. So
you'd better be going since you're
not going to drink anyway.
Sister Agnes sighs loudly.
Penny, think of what we do.
That's the problem.
When you think of what happens when
you don't do what you can...
No, it's too heavy a burden.
The two nuns nod and sigh, their shoulders slump, as if they
do indeed carry a great weight.
You'll have to see for yourself. Like
I did. Many years ago.
It's Halloween. The gates are open.
CRASH! SPLINTERS FLY as a 1968 DODGE CHARGER BURSTS IN,
WRECKING the DOOR.
Smoke billows up. The car's door opens and out jumps some
GUY (20s). Devil-may-care attitude, .
Ho-ho-ho. I loooove Halloween.
Penny's attitude changes--ready for action. Mother Mary and
Sister Agnes tense, slide away for each other.
Are you crazy? Crashing into my Bar
like that, you stupid f***head? Oh,
They don't even take notice. Eyes full of suspicion riveted
on the Guy.
And if you love Halloween so much,
why aren't you in costume?
Oh, but I am. A whole body as my
Are you already drunk, or
what in hell possessed you?
What in hell possessed me? How
The two nuns twitch--lightning fast the Guy whips out a COLT
REVOLVER. They freeze. Kate's eyes
He moves his gun in a semicircle, covering them all: Kate
behind the Bar, Penny to one side, Mother Mary and Sister
Agnes to the other. They attempt to sidle in a wider arc.
Huh-huh-huh. Keep all tight where I
can keep my eye on you...
He peers at the nuns, a slow smile spreads on his lips,
doesn't reach the eyes.
Well, well, well. I seem to recognize
some special nuns... Hands where I
can see them. And don't even try to
reach for the crosses.
We recognize you too. A minor demon.
Out for mischief.
The Guy's eyes BLAZE RED, annoyed.
Not minor. Today, I'm moving up.
Getting an upgrade. This Halloween, I
Nothing. Not even in Hell.
Oh, yeah? You'll see.
Excuse me, what the hell's going on
He's a demon. Out on Halloween,
feeding to grow stronger.
What? You're kidding me, right?
Penny and the nuns remain serious and somber.
Can't be. If he's a demon, why is he
holding a gun? Surely--
I like guns, okay? All of us like
guns. Beats the old pitchfork.
What the hell--
Guy's eyes BLAZE RED, an evil rictus on his face. Kate
clamps a hand over her mouth.
I've got to stop to say that.
Guy gives her a disdainful look, runs his gaze over Penny,
turns his attention to the nuns
I'll have you watch, impotent, while
I take the souls of these two bimbos.
Penny steps in front of Kate, shielding her.
Let her be.
Oh, you're volunteering to be first?
I hate it when people cut the line.
That's not being evil, it's just
being uncivil. No, you get back to
He gestures with the revolver... and the two nuns take the
chance to SPRING into action.
Mother Mary reaches for her cross, PULLS it off, THROWS it
like a Ninja star.
It SWIRLS though the air, Guy senses it, PIVOTS, tries to
duck, but it HITS his hand holding the revolver, BURNS it,
the hand opens, the revolver falls down.
Guy eyes ABLAZE, a DEMON'S FACE superimposing on the human,
bared TEETH like a shark's.
You damn penguin bitch.
He JUMPS, hands like CLAWS, at Mother Mary, tears the fabric
of her habit at the shoulder, but BAM, Sister Agnes TACKLES
him to the floor.
Penny grabs the revolver. Kate stands with mouth agape, her
eyes get really big, as she watches in disbelief.
Guy TUSSLES with Sister Agnes on the floor, Mother Mary
DIVES like a rugby player at a scrummage, at Guy's back,
lands on top of him.
Penny tries to aim the revolver, but can't get a bead. Kate
Guy has had enough. A RED FLASH and Mother Mary is BOUNCED
away, Sister Agnes stunned. He gets up, turns his eyes
And the barrel of his revolver, in Penny's hands. She PULLS
the trigger. CLICK. CLICK. Empty.
Guns don't kill people. It's the
A devilish grin and he steps towards her. Mother Mary and
sister Agnes are out of commission.
Maybe you get to be the first after
Penny does a TUCK JUMP backwards, lands on top of the
counter, the lighthouse model up behind her, Kate crouching
Guy LOUNGES, she does a CARTHWEEL, KICKS the Lighthouse off
its perch and down--on top of Guy, it KNOCKS him to the
floor, where Sister Agnes is stirring.
The lighthouse might have crushed a normal man, but not a
possessed one--Guy HEAVES it aside, gets to his feet--but
the delay was enough...
Sister Agnes THROWS her CROSS, it SWIRLS through the air
STRIKES Guy in the back of the head, sticks there.
head starts to shake,
smoke erupts from his head,
his whole body spasms,
the smoke gets darker and darker,
rises and rises,
the smoke vanishes as if sucked into nothingness,
the body dulls,
crumples to the floor,
Kate peers from behind the counter, Penny at her side, one
arm draped over her shoulder, the other on the counter.
Mother Mary raises her head, one hand clasped on her injured
Sister Agnes climbs to her feet, helps Mother Mary up. Penny
and Kate join them.
I'm too old for this.
A meaningful look at Penny, who remains silent.
Good work, you guys, thanks for
saving me, without you...
Teamwork. Only teamwork could do it,
one alone couldn't.
A meaningful look at Penny, who relents.
I guess I'll have to take the cross.
Mother Mary and Sister Agnes exchange a glance of relief and
satisfaction while Kate and Penny go stand on each side of
We bury the body, pray for the soul.
Guy's body on the steel slab, insides out. TWO EXAMINERS on
This is so weird. Seems scorched
inside. A hollow guy. Like the one
who's running for President.
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY
COFFIN, being lowered to the grave on ropes.
A group of MOURNERS and a PRIEST.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...
He drones on, the mourners keep their heads low.
ONE WOMAN: All dressed in black, but no longer in habit--
former Mother Mary. Next to her, TWO NUNS - now MOTHER AGNES
and SISTER PENELOPE. A faint rainbow halo of light around