Click here for Done Deal Pro home page

Done Deal Pro Home Page

Loading

Go Back   Done Deal Pro Forums > About the Craft > Writing Exercises
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-15-2018, 04:57 AM   #1
dpaterso
Member
 
dpaterso's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Caledonia
Posts: 7,000
Default Entries - Valentine's 2018 contest

Here we go! 7 shiny scripts, for your delight!

The Option
Orphan Train
The Last Sunset
My girlfriend thinks I’m a stalker...
__(...well she’s not my girlfriend yet)
The Mute Banshee
Beyond The Grave
1001 Valentine Days

You know the drill, read the entries, pick your 1st, 2nd and 3rd favorite choices and PM said choices to me, preferably in the format:

1st - title1
2nd - title2
3rd - title3

Please don't vote for your own entry, if this was allowed then everyone would do it, which would just cloud the voting.

After the results are posted, you can post comments in the results thread. Remember to scribble notes while you're reading! (optional)

You don't need to be in the contest to play, all DDP members are welcome to read and vote.

If you don't like the code boxes, which preserve formatting, try selecting Thread Tools > Show Printable Version instead.

Shout if you find any problems with your entry and I'll correct ASAP.

For posterity, the discussion thread is here and the results thread is here.
__________________
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.



Last edited by dpaterso : 02-21-2018 at 08:39 AM.
dpaterso is offline  
Old 02-15-2018, 05:07 AM   #2
dpaterso
Member
 
dpaterso's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Caledonia
Posts: 7,000
Default Re: Entries - Valentine's 2018 contest

Code:
The Option EXT. BUNGALOW - DAY AUDRA(17), exits her house and shuts the door behind her. She's pretty, but with a dark edge to her. She carries a bookbag and is dressed for school. She tests the door, then turns down the sidewalk. MARTY (17) appears out of nowhere beside her, nearly giving her a heart attack. AUDRA Marty! What the--? MARTY Hey Aud. He falls in step beside her, animated. MARTY (CONT'D) Soooo... have you thought about it? AUDRA About what -- you stalking me? MARTY C'mon. Have you? AUDRA Do I really need to decide right this second? MARTY Sorry. I'm just really anxious to know is all. I mean, it's kind of a big deal, don't you think? AUDRA Yeah. The thing is, I'm still not sure. He grabs her arm, halting them. MARTY Look, you know your parents are never gonna allow it. In fact they're totally gonna lose their sh**. And besides, they hate me already. It's the best option. Really the only option, if you think about it. She stews a moment, conflicted. He waits expectantly. MARTY (CONT'D) C'mon. Please? AUDRA Okay. Yes, okay? Are you happy? MARTY Yeah?! Awesome!!! She rolls her eyes in disbelief. MARTY (CONT'D) Well, I mean, not happy-happy, but...I really think it's the right thing to do. I love you so much! AUDRA Yeah. MARTY I've got it all planned out already. This weekend. (he gestures to an imaginary marquis) Marty and Audra -- together forever! He kisses her excitedly, and heads back in the opposite direction. MARTY (CONT'D) I'll text you later! And remember - - don't tell anyone okay? Not even Rosa! INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY Marty and Audra sit together at a table, no one else nearby. MARTY So, uh, how was your day? AUDRA (with an OMG glare) Seriously?! MARTY Okay, forget it. Stupid question. I mean...considering... AUDRA Um, yeah. MARTY So anyway, I've got the whole thing worked out. I'll pick you up Saturday first thing, we'll drive out to this perfect spot I've got picked out, and- AUDRA Wait. You actually been scouting locations? What does it even matter?! If we're going to do it, let's just do it. I swear, you're way overthinking this whole thing. MARTY Yeah, but I just...I want it to be nice is all. Anyway, just make sure to be at the corner, nine a.m.. We'll ride out there, and... voila. It'll be over and done. AUDRA Okay. And I'm sorry if I've been kind of a bitch about it. I want this too. He notes her lack of engagement. MARTY You meant that, right? AUDRA Like you said, it's our only option, right? He follows her gaze to where another boy ADAM is eyeing her on the down low from a table across the cafe. MARTY Seriously? Adam? Look, I know he likes you, but... I mean, dude should show some respect. Dick. AUDRA Don't worry, Marty. Just focus on the plan, okay? It'll be great. MARTY ... AUDRA You know, it's cute that you're jealous. MARTY Pfft! I am not jealous! Well, okay. Anyway, let's get out of here. I'm sure we both still have lots to take care of before Saturday. They leave. Marty makes sure Adam sees him put his arm over Audra's shoulder like a boss on their way out. EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY Audra loiters there, a bit anxious. Yup, it's Saturday. A car pulls up driven by Marty. He gestures to her and she climbs in. INT. CAR, MOVING Marty has a gym bag on the seat between them. Audra glances at it with trepidation. She knows what's up. MARTY How are you feeling? Okay? She shrugs. AUDRA Do we have to talk about it? MARTY No. Not if you don't want. (smile) I love you. AUDRA Me too. They squeeze hands. The act seems to buoy Marty. He turns his eyes to the road with renewed determination. EXT. DESERT/MOUNTAIN/FIELD/WHATEVER - DAY Marty parks and they get out. Marty carries the gym bag. He takes Audra's hand and leads her. With her free hand she takes out her phone and swipes through it as she walks. THE SPOT Marty pulls up at an idyllic, private spot, and gestures awkwardly around. MARTY This is it. What, uh, what do you think? AUDRA It's nice. Good choice. MARTY Thanks. He notices the phone in her hand. MARTY (CONT'D) You brought your phone? AUDRA Sure. What's the problem? MARTY I don't-- Y-You haven't told anyone right? Rosa? Anybody? You're not changing your mind, are you? AUDRA Look, Marty. They can use the GPS to find us. You do want them to find us, right? I thought that's kind of the whole point. MARTY Yeah, of course. You're right. I'm sorry... You nervous? AUDRA Can we not talk about it? Let's just go over your plan. How exactly are we going to do this? MARTY I don't know. AUDRA Marty, I thought you said you had it all planned out! He shrugs. MARTY Sorry, I guess I never thought about how we'd actually do it. I mean, it's not-- this is my first... F***! (looks around) ) Okay, how about this? We sit down, and lock our arms, like this... He pulls her down and demonstrates a klutzy embrace. AUDRA Fine. MARTY You're sure? Cuz I'd like welcome your input, if you- AUDRA Let's just do it already, and get it out of the way. The longer we talk about it... MARTY Okay. But you're not backing out on me? Cuz this is it. She gives him a derisive look. MARTY (CONT'D) You're right. Okay. I'll shut up. AUDRA You know, you can back out too. Just because it was your idea -- He holds up a hand to silence her. Then he opens his bag and pulls out a revolver. He holds it up dramatically, looks to her for a reaction. She's calm, not what he expected. But when he glances away her eyes betray her fear. MARTY Okay, so you ready? They sit down together. He cocks the gun. She watches as the courage starts to drain out of him in a hurry. He directs his words to her stomach, as he starts to sob, trying to hold it together. MARTY (CONT'D) I'm so sorry kid, we couldn't do right by you. God knows you don't deserve this, but it's the only way we can all three be together. He points the gun pointed at Audra's head. She doesn't flinch, but her eyes go wide in contained terror. His hand trembles badly; it might be comical if he weren't in danger of blowing her head apart at any moment. Seconds tick by. Abruptly, he lowers the gun. MARTY (CONT'D) I'm...I'm sorry...This is so f***ing... What if I miss? And then, what if I'm too scared to do me? It's not like something you can practice! She hugs him briefly. AUDRA Shhh shhh. Calm down. You're not going to miss. Trust me. Let me show you. It's okay baby. Here, look. She guides the gun up under his chin. AUDRA (CONT'D) See? You just hold it right here. I know you can do it. You just hold it, and then when the time is right, just... She deliberately forces his trigger finger down. BANG! Marty's body flies back, dead as sh**. Audra coolly scoots clear of him and stands up. She brushes herself off. We hear a rustle, and Adam walks up holding a cell phone. The two embrace as he looks around, taking it all in. ADAM Day-yam. Part of me didn't think he'd really do it. I was really worried, but look at you. Ice. Cold! AUDRA Adam, please. You're talking about the mother of your child. They laugh as they head back toward the road, arm in arm like lovers do. THE END
__________________
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.


dpaterso is offline  
Old 02-15-2018, 05:11 AM   #3
dpaterso
Member
 
dpaterso's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Caledonia
Posts: 7,000
Default Re: Entries - Valentine's 2018 contest

Code:
Orphan Train EXT. RURAL HIGHWAY - DAY An SUV rolls to a stop on the gravel shoulder. A hunched, bearded OLD MAN (80) in a rumpled black suit exits from the passenger side, then hobbles down the road. KATHERINE (60) in a black overcoat, dress suit and heels, jumps from behind the wheel, hustles after the Old Man. KATHERINE Dad, it's been a long day. Long gray hair blowing in the wind, Katherine pulls her coat closed, braces against the cold. KATHERINE (CONT'D) What are we doing out here? The Old Man pauses at the edge of an abandoned railroad track, gazes ahead at the flat, gray prairie horizon. OLD MAN I promised your mother, I would never tell anyone. Old Man stoops down and presses his thin, arthritic hand on the rusty iron rail. OLD MAN (CONT'D) But now it's time. TRAIN WHISTLE (PRELAP) OVER BLACK: "ERIE, OHIO - 1938" EXT. TRAIN STATION - MORNING Two long lines of weary CHILDREN (5 - 15 yrs), ID papers pinned to their ragged hand-me-down clothes, climb the boarding steps and file into the train cars. REVEREND CHARLES GRACE (50) shakes hands with a sharply dressed BUSINESSMAN (50's), then waves his beefy arm toward the train cars. REVEREND GRACE Let's hurry, children. There's a storm coming. CASSIE (14) stands in line next to her friend JACOB, a thin 15 year-old with deep-set, sullen eyes. CASSIE We might never see each other again. Jacob takes Cassie's hand. JACOB No! I promise. INT. TRAIN CABIN (MOVING) - DAY Reverend Grace wobbles down the aisle of the swaying train, inspects the anxious children huddled in their seats. REVEREND GRACE Smile children. Tomorrow you start a wondrous new life with a loving Christian family. The Reverend pauses in front of Cassie and Jacob, leans over to read Cassie's ID. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) Cassie. What a very pretty name. And such beautiful red hair. He grins, then extends his hand. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) Cassie, I could use some help preparing today's lunch. Would you be so kind. Cassie glances at Jacob who shakes his head. The Reverend's face grows stone cold. He places his hand on Jacob's shoulder. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) My dear... He glances at Jacob's ID. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) ... Jacob. We must remember to show respect to our elders. He clamps down hard on Jacob's bony shoulder. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) Isn't that so? Jacob grimaces in pain, nods. The Reverend grasps Cassie's hand, leads her away. EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS - DAY A WHITEOUT BLIZZARD. The steamer train chugs down the tracks, its outline barely visible through the driving snow. INT. TRAIN CABIN - MOMENTS LATER Jacob leaps from his seat, hurries down the aisle. Jacob stops in front of a private room, presses his ear against the closed door. A freckled FARM BOY (10) sitting nearby, calls out. FARM BOY (hushed) Don't! He'll beat us all! Jacob ignores the warning, tightens his jaw, then pounds the door with his fist. As the door flies open, Jacob dives for cover behind a large STEAMER TRUNK. Reverend Grace stomps out of the room, hastily pulling up his pants, fastening his leather belt, growling... REVEREND GRACE Which one of you little heathens... The Reverend rushes over to the Farm Boy. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) You?! The frightened boy recoils in his seat, shakes his head. The Reverend grabs a handful of Farm Boy's hair. FARM BOY Ow! REVEREND GRACE Then who?! Farm Boy points to the steamer trunk. Reverend Grace whirls, yanks Jacob from his hiding spot, slams the boy face down on the trunk's lid. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) Looks like I'm gonna have to teach you God's will the hard way. Holding Jacob down with one hand, he unbuckles his belt with the other. Jacob glances up. Cassie, steps from the doorway of the private room, crying. JACOB (O.S.) Go! Cassie takes off. WHACK! The Reverend smacks the belt full force against Jacob's behind. As he holds the belt high overhead for another blow... SCREECHING. EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS - DAY SPARKS shoot from the locomotive's locked wheels skidding on the iron tracks. The TRAIN ENGINE plows into a GIANT SNOWDRIFT, then jumps the tracks. BREAKING GLASS, CRUNCHING METAL. The passenger cars jackknife and careen off the tracks. CHILDREN SCREAMING, CRYING. INT. TRAIN CABIN - DAY Children thrown from their seats like ragdolls as the cabin flips upside down. Reverend Grace hurdles forward, smacking his head against a steam pipe. Jacob flies off the trunk, somersaults and smashes into an upside down exit door. EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS - LATER Jacob carries a YOUNG GIRL (8) from the wreckage, her leg bleeding badly. He hands the injured girl to Cassie. JACOB I think that's everyone. I'm gonna do another check, then we'll go. CASSIE Where? JACOB I saw a sign before we crashed. Jacob trudges through the deep snow, heading for the wreckage. JACOB (CONT'D) Should be a town about six miles up. INT. TRAIN ENGINE ROOM - DAY Jacob steps over the dead twisted body of the TRAIN ENGINEER, grabs a medics bag from a storage closet, opens the lid of a STRONGBOX. REVEREND GRACE (O.S.) You ain't goin' nowhere. Jacob whips around. Reverend Grace, deep, bloody gash across his forehead, left eye swollen shut, holding his ribs, points a PISTOL at Jacob with his free hand. JACOB How much you gettin'? REVEREND GRACE You should be grateful. JACOB For you gettin' rich off us? The Reverend starts to laugh, but searing pain from broken ribs causes him to double over, cough violently. Jacob slowly reaches into the strongbox, slips a JACKKNIFE into his pants pocket. The Reverend recovers, wipes bloody spit from his mouth. REVEREND GRACE You see, my dear boy. You're a discard, a burden to your poor parents. If not for me, you'd all be spendin' the rest of your miserable lives whoring and stealing on the streets. He waves the gun toward the exit. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) Now, get your ass out there. EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS - DAY CASSIE and the surviving children huddle against the cold and snow. Jacob walks slowly from the shadows, followed by Reverend Grace. REVEREND GRACE Everyone... (gasping, coughing) ...Back in the train! CASSIE No! We're leaving, and you can't stop us! The Reverend holds the pistol to Jacob's head. REVEREND GRACE Now! Cassie leads the children back to the train. The Reverend trails, hobbled, hacking violently, spitting blood. Farm Boy suddenly breaks from the group, zigzagging through the knee deep snow. The Reverend spins. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) Come back hear you little bastard. He points the pistol at Farm Boy, fires. CRACK, CRACK. Cassie leaps onto the back of Reverend Grace, gouges her fingers into his eyes. REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) Ow! Argh! The Reverend flings Cassie off his back. Cassie lands hard on her back in the snow. The Reverend, blood flowing from his mangled eyes, points the pistol at Cassie... REVEREND GRACE (CONT'D) You sinful little bitch! May you rot in-- The Reverend grimaces, bloody eyes open wide. He drops the pistol, stumbles backward, gasping. Jacob steps forward, watches the Reverend drop to his knees, then fall face first into the deep snow, a JACKKNIFE buried deep in his neck. EXT. TRAIN STOP - NIGHT Jacob, exhausted and frostbitten, carries Young Girl across his shoulders as he approaches the boarding platform. He reads the sign. Welcome to OKEMOS, MI. Cassie leads the weary group of young survivors up the platform stairs. A STATION MASTER carrying a lantern hurries outside to greet the group, then huddles them inside the small wooden building. OLD MAN (V.O.) His last dying gasps haunt me to this day. BACK TO PRESENT EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS - DAY Jacob (Old Man), his far-off gaze revealing the trauma and emotion of the horrific event, turns to his daughter. JACOB (OLD MAN) It was here, where nine innocent children perished in the crash. Katherine covers her mouth, eyes welling with tears. KATHERINE What happened to the rest of you? JACOB Of the twenty-three survivors, some returned home, taken back by their folks. The others, like me and Cassie, were adopted. We lived with separate families in Okemos until we turned eighteen. Jacob reaches into his suit coat pocket. JACOB (CONT'D) But I kept my promise. He pulls out an old crumpled BLACK AND WHITE PHOTO, hands it to Katherine. Katherine gazes at the image, tears streaming down her cheeks. PHOTO INSERT: A wedding picture of Jacob and Cassie at the altar. Katherine hugs her father, whispers. KATHERINE I love you, dad.
__________________
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.


dpaterso is offline  
Old 02-15-2018, 05:17 AM   #4
dpaterso
Member
 
dpaterso's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Caledonia
Posts: 7,000
Default Re: Entries - Valentine's 2018 contest

Code:
The Last Sunset FADE IN EXT. ALI'S COFFEE & BAGEL SHOP - DAY In the heart of an ordinary American town. INT. ALI'S COFFEE & BAGEL SHOP - DAY No customers present. Behind the counter, ALI (30s) and his sister FATIMA (20) stand side by side, looking out at the passing world. They are of the Arabic persuasion. ALI What have I told you about covering your head, you whore? FATIMA Customers don't like it, they look at me as if I've got a bomb stuffed down my knickers. ALI A chaste woman does not let men see her hair. FATIMA I'm plenty chaste, don't you worry about me. We are in America. We are supposed to put people at ease, not draw attention to ourselves. Fatima does jazz hands. FATIMA Hey, look at me, terrorist, gonna blow up your grandma today. ALI You disrespect me yet again. Fatima drops the humor instantly. FATIMA I apologize, brother, I did not mean to offend. ALI See that you keep that tongue of yours under control when he arrives, else you will feel the lash of my leather belt. Fatima presses her lips together into a tight line. She gets this sh!t every day and has to take it. DING, the door opens and GRANT enters, a skinny white nerd. He carries a cheap bunch of flowers and a cardboard box tied with a ribbon. Grant approaches the counter and glances nervously at Ali before giving his attention to Fatima. GRANT H-hello, good morning. FATIMA Good morning to you, sir, it is good to see you again. Grant studies the array of breadware behind the glass counter display. GRANT Can I have one with cinammon? FATIMA Wouldn't two be much more satisfying? GRANT You know, you could be right. Fatima uses tongs to put 2 cinammon bagels into a paper bag, she places this on the counter top. FATIMA Do you wish coffee also? GRANT Y-yes, coffee, could you make it a little weak, like half milk? Ali wrinkles his nose in contempt. He turns away and exits into the back of the shop. The bead curtain rattles and sways in his wake. FATIMA There is no need to be shy about this. It does not make you less of a man in my eyes. GRANT Thank you, th-that means a lot. Grant gets more nervous as Fatima goes and makes the coffee. Lots of milk. She puts a lid on the cup and places it beside the bagel bag. FATIMA Will there be anything else? Grant glances at the bead curtain. He takes a deep breath. He offers the flowers to Fatima. GRANT These, these are for you. FATIMA Why would you give me flowers? GRANT A-and these, too. Grant offers her the box with the ribbon. GRANT It's Turkish delight. I didn't know what else to get you. FATIMA Oh. Fatima hesitantly takes the box and the flowers. She puts the flowers down and unties the ribbon. In doing so she notices a little card. She turns it over and reads it. FATIMA "Be my Valentine." GRANT Uh, I was, I was kinda hoping to not be here when you read that, to be honest. It all begins to come together in Fatima's mind. FATIMA You wish me to be your Valentine? What does this entail? GRANT It's, it's just a way to say hi to someone you don't really know. Like, (waves a hand) Hi. FATIMA Oh, I see. We call it rahat locum. GRANT You have Valentine's Day, too? FATIMA No, your Turkish delight is our rahat locum, it originated in Iran and was a delicacy of the Ottoman Empire. GRANT I did not know that. FATIMA Am I supposed to give you something in return? GRANT No you don't, it's my gift to you. DING, the door opens and a gentleman from the land of Turkish delight steps in. This is HAMED. He looks around warily. His cold gaze settles upon Grant, who is unaware. Fatima is very aware of who this is, she takes a step back so she can call through the bead curtain. FATIMA Oh dear brother, the flour salesman is here. Ali emerges at once. He looks at Hamed, then at Grant. Fatima picks up the coffee cup and the bagel bag and hands them to Grant. FATIMA Thank you for your custom, I hope we see you again soon. Grant looks at her, not understanding, but then he gets it, it's her gift to him. She can't talk because of Ali. GRANT Thank you! Grant heads for the door. Hamed smiles politely and steps aside to let Grant exit, then closes the door, DING. EXT. ALI'S COFFEE & BAGEL SHOP - DAY Grant walks along the street a bit, then leans against a wall and hyperventilates. People walking by look at him. GRANT (wheezing) I'm okay, ignore me, I'm okay. INT. ALI'S COFFEE & BAGEL SHOP - DAY As soon as Grant has gone, Hamed's smile vanishes. ALI Sir, we are honored by your presence. HAMED This place is clean? ALI It is swept daily for listening devices. What is your will? (to Fatima) Go and put your head scarf on, you shame me. Fatima hurries into the back of the shop... and returns in a few moments wearing a head scarf. HAMED Much better. Are you prepared to give everything for our cause? ALI We are both prepared, sir. HAMED You speak for your sister? I would hear it from her own lips. FATIMA Sure, I'm in. Ali slaps the back of Fatima's head. ALI I heartily apologize on her behalf, sir. Living in this country has rotted her brain. HAMED It is her sincerity that matters, not her phrasing. Her mastery of American English aids in concealing your true purpose from the infidel. I am pleased to tell you that an opportunity for glory has arisen. I will provide further details soon, but keep Friday clear. ALI We await your word with fervor. Hamed turns away, but stops and looks at the box on the counter. HAMED Is that rahat locum? Fatima tilts the box toward Hamed and gives him a "Please help yourself!" smile. Hamed pops a piece into his mouth. HAMED Delicious! Hamed exits the shop, the door closes, DING. ALI Finally! A mission! We shall blow ourselves to smithereens and go to Heaven. Fatima does jazz hands, yaaaay. But she isn't smiling. INT. BACK ROOM OF ALI'S COFFEE & BAGEL SHOP - DAY Fatima sits at a little table with the box of Turkish delight. She examines the card again and WE SEE: "Maybe I can buy you a coffee sometime? Grant (the skinny white guy who takes milky coffee)" Fatima smiles broadly. She holds the card to her heart. Ali pokes his head through the bead curtain. ALI There are customers out here waiting to be served. FATIMA Forgive me, I will be right out. Ali withdraws. Fatima slips the card into a pocket, takes off her head scarf and exits to the front of the shop. EXT. DUCK POND IN THE PARK - DAY Grant sits on a bench facing the pond. He breaks up one of his bagels and throws the bits to the ducks. SPECIAL AGENT JACK RYERSON (30) sits down on the bench. RYERSON They really like that bagel, don't they? GRANT It's the cinnamon. RYERSON Tell me, Grant, are you a patriot? Or are you a traitor to this great nation of ours? GRANT H-how do you know my name? RYERSON She's a terrorist, Grant. That pretty girl with the perfect sun tan and the winning smile is one of the nutjobs who want to kill us all and destroy our way of life. GRANT Wh-Who are you? RYERSON What I need you to do, Grant, is tell me everything you know about your little friend. And I do mean, everything. INT. ALI'S COFFEE & BAGEL SHOP - EVENING The place is closed up, Fatima is cleaning. Ali emerges from the back room, wearing a Hawaiian shirt. ALI You will remain in your room tonight? FATIMA Sure, I wouldn't want to spoil your poker game. I'll probably go out for a walk. ALI Where to? FATIMA Just to watch the sunset. It might be the last one I see. Ali stares at her, expressionless. He exits to the back room. Fatima takes out a phone and Grant's card. She thumbs in the number. FATIMA (INTO PHONE) It's me. EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE - LATE EVENING Grant sits at a table watching the sun going down. Fatima appears and sits down at the table. No head scarf. GRANT Hey, you came. FATIMA I'm glad I made it in time. I wanted to thank you for your gifts. No one has ever been that kind to me before. GRANT Wow, really? My pleasure. Thank you for calling me, I wasn't sure if you would, I mean, I don't know if I would have had the courage. FATIMA Calling someone is easy, it's just talking to people. Deciding to take action for something you believe in, though, that's what really requires courage. GRANT I suppose... FATIMA I just wanted to tell you I'll be going away soon. GRANT Oh. Anywhere I might know? FATIMA A far away place. I won't be coming back here. GRANT I'm, I'm sorry to hear that. Fatima reaches across the table and takes Grant's hand. FATIMA I'm sorry too. Just when you'd worked up courage to give me flowers and Turkish delight. It's not fair. GRANT Will you be happy, wherever it is you're going? FATIMA I hope so. Let's watch the sunset together. GRANT Sure. I can do that. Fatima smiles as they sit watching the beautiful sunset. THE END
__________________
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.


dpaterso is offline  
Old 02-15-2018, 05:23 AM   #5
dpaterso
Member
 
dpaterso's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Caledonia
Posts: 7,000
Default Re: Entries - Valentine's 2018 contest

Code:
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker... ___(...well she's not my girlfriend yet) INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT The Mobile rings. EMMA winces. She's a pretty redhead, about twenty and dressed in PJ's, ready for bed. She's nuking a hot chocolate in the microwave. Emma looks at. The face says someone called Dufus is calling. EMMA What? I've told you not to ring me! DOUG Ems... EMMA Listen to me- you stalking freak. I will ring the police again next time you ring! Understand? You freak! Do you understand restraining orders? DOUG Bu... She disconnects with a jab. Throws the phone onto the table. Then retrieves it and powers it down. EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - CONTINUOUS The street lights cast pools of light. Cars are parked in driveways, on the road. Trees deepen shadows. Fences, walls and hedges add to the jumble. Doug's face is lit by his mobile. It's a face that has been bullied, you just know it. Weak, pale, unfashionable glasses, pits of acne scarring. He pulls his black hoodie over his equally bad hair. The house he peers at is nearly dark. DOUG (to self) You're... you'll learn. I'll... you shouldn't have dumped me. Especially not the weekend your parents are away. (beat) That's just dumb. He pulls on gloves, black. He pulls up a bandana, black to cover his throat, mouth and nose. He pulls out an oversized knife. A cheap knock off Japanese tanto. He's taken so much care to darken his appearance into the night, but the blade glistens silver. He's a f***ing idiot. He moves like a shadow - a shadow, carrying a big-ass dumb silver blade. He uses cover like someone who watched Hollywood action films throughout a tortured adolescence. There's no need to hide from an empty road... But Doug does. He reaches the house next to Emma's parent's house. The kitchen light is still on. Emma is sipping her hot chocolate in the lounge. Backlit, she looks out the window. Doug shields the knife with his arm. She sees nothing. DOUG (CONT'D) (to self) We were perfect together. A car drives past. Doug ducks as the head lights break the darkness. The car parks at the end of the street. Doug watches the driver leave the car. Outside Emma's house is a street light. From his jacket Doug pulls a slingshot, a heavy looking bolt, aims - misses. The bolt slams into a roof across the road and clatters down the tiles. He goes to cover. DOUG (CONT'D) (to self) The things I do for you Ems. He pulls out another bolt, aims, this time the flourescent tube pops. Glass tinkles to the ground. The light vanishes. Doug peers around. No one seems to have heard the noises. He vaults the low hedge and lands awkwardly. DOUG (CONT'D) Jeez, a man could break a leg in this. (LAUGHS) A broken leg will be the least of tonight's f***ing injuries! He creeps up the driveway to the garage. Inside the house Emma finishes her hot drink. Momentarily she stares out of the window again into the front yard. She draws the curtains, seconds later the lights go out. Subdued lights flick on as she moves through the house, towards bed. Outside Doug follows. As he moves to the rear section it gets darker and darker. He's a silhouette with a silver blade. Above him on the second floor lights come on. Her bedroom. DOUG (CONT'D) Nighty night Ems. Don't let the bedbugs bite. He checks his wrist watch, 10:32. At last he sheaths his knife, and vanishes. Emma's lights go dark. Doug checks his watch 10:57 11:27 11:35 11:44 11:50 11:55 11:57 11:58 DOUG (CONT'D) Close enough. EXT. BACK DOOR - SECONDS LATER Doug checks the door. It's locked. Back to the front, checking the windows, all closed, all locked. DOUG Think you're safe in there Ems? Maybe... Retreat to the rear again. Then the same along the other side of the house. Again it's secure. EXT. AT THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS From the darkness he eyes the front door. He pulls a key from his pocket. DOUG (to self) Never saw me snatch this eh? A car travels down the street. Light rises and falls. He is utterly still. The car stops up the street. A BEEP of the central locking. Slowly he lowers himself to the ground. He slithers across the lawn to the garden, meters from the front door. And waits. A garden gate squeals. Not Emma's. Nearby. DOUG (CONT'D) (to self) He goes nothing. One final look around. He slinks to the front door. Fumbles repeatedly at the lock. Manages to insert the key. Opens the door. Slips though. Closes it, gently, behind him. INT. EMMA'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS He breathes in; a long inhalation, eyes closed. As though he's savoring what's to come. He looks at the stairs. DOUG (to self, whispering) You shouldn't have dumped me Ems. Slowly he edges the knife from it's scabbard. His eyes delight in the gleaming sliver. He eases his way up the stairs. A footfall at a time. Pausing at the slightest squeak. There are many. He is careful. Finally he reaches the second floor. There is a night light, low to the floor. INT. SECOND FLOOR - CONTINUOUS He edges along the wall. Placing his feet carefully. Not making a sound. He reaches a door. Closed. He pulls a can of WD40 from his black hoodie. Sprays each hinge. Two puffs on each. The hisses seem unnaturally loud. Another two at the latch. He pauses. Letting the oil do it's silent thing. Touches the latch, twists, it's soundless, opens the door, soundless. INT. BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS He steps inside and closes the door behind him. Moonlight comes through the windows. He pauses, staring straight ahead, knife out in front of him. And doesn't move. At all. He breathes lightly, but there's a sense of anticipation in it. A noise, indefinable. But it's enough to brings his head up. Lips part. Eyes twitch. Fingers clench on the knife. He takes a big, long, slow silent breath. Another noise. He brings up the knife. DOUG (quietly) I'm going to kill you. Another noise. A Creak. He approaches the bed. Emma lies sleeping. With his free hand he clasps her mouth. She wakes in terror. DOUG (CONT'D) If you want to live, don't make a noise. Another noise, not Emma, not Doug. DOUG (CONT'D) Hear that? Doug raises the knife, two handed, above his head. CREAK! Louder! Suddenly Doug turns. He hauls open the door. Illuminated by the night light is a dark figure. INT. SECOND FLOOR - CONTINUOUS Doug attacks. Poorly! Atrociously. Misses every strike. The man fends Doug off. Catches his arm. Doug is slammed into the wall. Again and again. The night light is smashed. Doug clings to the knife. But the other guy grabs it. DOUG (screaming) EMMA! RUN! He peels off, over the bannister, and falls to the ground floor... THUD! For a moment the new intruder stares at the broken body a floor below, he has Doug's knife loosely held in one hand. The bedroom door flies open, SLAMMING into the wall. Emma stands there, like a Valkyrie, armed with an aluminum baseball bat. She sees a shadowy form, she sees the knife. She doesn't hesitate. Half-turned, focused on Doug, the new guy doesn't stand a chance. Every baseball bat blow finds a home. ...head. ...chest, elbow. ...head, hand, knee! ...other hand, head (other side), knee, knee, knee! ...head ...head ...head ...chest ...head! The second intruder follows Doug's path to the ground floor. INT. LIVING ROOM (BELOW THE STAIRS) - MOMENTS LATER Emma leans over Doug. EMMA Doug, what...? DOUG You dumped me for nothing. I was never stalking you... HE WAS. Emma stands. EMMA I didn't dump you... I don't eve... then....? Who? She looks at the other body. DOUG That's your stalker! Emma flicks on the lights. And gasps. EMMA Tom? She throws herself at the broken beaten man and lets out a wail. EMMA (CONT'D) That's my boyfriend, you freak! DOUG I saw him stalking around your yard. She stands and retrieves her bat. EMMA You saw him, last week, trying to catch you! But he's not supposed to be here now.
__________________
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.


dpaterso is offline  
Old 02-15-2018, 05:30 AM   #6
dpaterso
Member
 
dpaterso's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Caledonia
Posts: 7,000
Default Re: Entries - Valentine's 2018 contest

Code:
The Mute Banshee EXT. FROZEN STREAM - DAY A diffused sun shines wanly through the morning mist. The ground is white and hard with crusty snow and ice. A small cottage sits on the hill, smoke rising from its chimney. A young woman, ALLENA, red hair in a patched dress and an oversized leather coat chops at the ice covering the stream. Her breath appears in puffs as she tries to stand without slipping. A wooden bucket waits nearby. Wolves howl. She jumps, dropping the axe, and running for the cottage. ALLENA Da! EXT. BATTLEFIELD - DAY Red. Red sun on the horizon. Red clouds in the air. Red gore scattered across the frozen ice and snow. Red blood staining the clothes of the dead or dying men. Black CROWS caw and peck at the corpses. AIDEN, 20s, groans as he wakes and shoos a crow from his shoulder. There's a gash across his forehead and blood still oozes from a hurriedly bandaged wound at his side. Voices in the valley. One louder than the others. VOICE Kill any rebel bastard you find alive. Aiden bites back the pain as he rolls to his hands and knees and crawls toward the trees. INT. COTTAGE - DAY Allena's FATHER, emaciated and weak, shallow breaths, wipes a tear from Allena's cheek. FATHER Such sad grey eyes. So like your mother. ALLENA The wolves-- FATHER --Yes, she was here. ALLENA But, Da ... Her Father looks into the shadows, sees what Allena can't. He squares his shoulders. Prepares himself. FATHER She's here now. Be brave. Be a true rebel's daughter. ALLENA How can-- FATHER (rasping breath) --This valley ... She will protect you. She has always protected us. The BANSHEE, in a hooded cloak, emerges from the shadows. Her dark eyes reflecting the dim light. FATHER Bury me beside your mother when it thaws. Allena turns to where her father is looking. She sees nothing. ALLENA Da. No. Please. FATHER I love you, little one. ALLENA I love you ... Da. He's gone. EXT. ABANDONED ROAD - NIGHT Snow swirling. Aiden, nearly frozen, using his sword for a cane, steps woodenly, barely moving. He collapses in the snow and doesn't move. EXT. COTTAGE - NIGHT Allena stands outside of the cottage, a torch in her hand. She sets a bowl of stew on the ground and stares into the darkness. ALLENA My Lady, Banshee. I want to thank you. The Banshee steps back out of the light, but Allena seems to sense her presence. ALLENA Had your wolves not howled ... She gulps back a sob. ALLENA ... Had they not keened for my father, I wouldn't have been able to say goodbye. Silence. Tears. After a moment. ALLENA Thank you. Allena turns and slowly picks her way back to the cottage. The Banshee watches her, then points silently to the stew. Her pack of pure WHITE WOLVES slip out of the darkness, each lapping up a bit and licking the bowl clean. EXT. ABANDONED ROAD - MORNING The snow is still blowing. Aiden is nearly covered in a drift. The Banshee is standing over him, her wolves nearly invisible in the swirling white out. The wolves lift their heads to the sky, but the Banshee shushes them. Shakes her head 'no.' EXT. ABANDONED ROAD - LATER A fire. Two rabbits on a spit. The Banshee sits, staring at Aiden, willing him to wake. Her wolves surround her. When his eyes flutter open. They're gone. EXT. FIELD - MORNING Grey sky and light snow flurries. Kneeling beside a headstone, Allena chips at the frozen ground with her axe. Although she works hard and steady, she's made little progress in her digging. She stops, wipes her brow and turns to a fresh pile of stones nearby. ALLENA I'm sorry, Da, the ground is so hard. Pause. ALLENA I know, you miss Ma ... (voice catching in her throat) ... Soon, Da. Soon. Suddenly the sky darkens. The wind picks up. It whistles, driving ice and snow into Allena's face, her hair whips wildly in the wind. She struggles against it as she makes her way to the cottage. A moment. The Banshee appears. Her cloak is unruffled by the wind. Her wolves, nearly invisible in the blowing snow begin appearing behind her. She points to the grave. They move as one, their claws sparking against rocks in their haste to dig. The hole immediately appears and deepens. Within minutes it's completely dug out. The wolves shake the dirt out of their fur and disappear into the wind and snow. The Banshee follows. EXT. ABANDONED ROAD - MORNING The fire is still burning when Aiden wakes again. Another rabbit is on the spit. He eats, then tends his wound as well as he can. It's ugly and infected when he removes the cloth bandage. He tries washing it with snow, winces in pain. Resets the bandage. He tries to pull himself up with his sword, but falls. Again, stands shakily, then trips over a stone when he takes his first step. He drags himself back to the fire. Stares into it. Then bows his head and closes his eyes. A moment. A sudden gust of wind. The fire is out, its ashes swirling upwards into the sky. Aiden jumps back. Eyes wide, he draws his sword. Waits. The Wolves emerge, their eyes the only contrast to the snow. They surround Aiden, growling. He swings his sword wildly at one. It easily ducks back, then jumps forward and nips Aiden on the leg. He jumps up, takes several steps down the road. Forces himself forward. The Wolves melt into the snow and Aiden finds himself alone, staring wildly all around him ... and moving down the road. EXT. COTTAGE - MORNING The cottage door is shoved open, pushing aside a snowdrift in its wake. Allena steps out. Below the cottage are two rabbits, freshly killed. She scans the area, notices the mound of dirt beside the open grave. ALLENA My Lady Banshee? EXT. ABANDONED ROAD - DAY Aiden is spent, barely moving. The wind is still blowing, snow still drifting though no longer falling. The road winds into a wooded valley. He shuffles toward it. One of the white wolves seemingly materializes in on the road in front of him. It growls, bearing its fangs. Aiden grimaces and slouches forward, dragging his sword. He looks past the wolf and at the sheltering trees below. He shakes his head and continues forward. Two more wolves appear. All three snarl, moving towards him, jaws slavering. Aiden drops his sword, holds out his hands -- palms upwards, inviting them to finish it. He falls to his knees. Shivering uncontrollably, his face buried in the snow. He cringes and waits. The wolves snuffle at his hair. They bite at his clothes. They begin dragging him over the drifts. Aiden prays. Blacks out. EXT. FIELD - MORNING Clear. Calm. Aiden lies unconscious, propped against a snowdrift. Small puffs visible as he breathes. His sword is stuck, blade-first, in the snow. EXT. COTTAGE - MORNING Allena emerges from the doorway, a bucket in her hands as she yawns. She scans the drifts, sees the light shimmering off the sword. She drops the bucket. Panics. Turns back towards the door ... ... sees the wolf tracks in the snow. They mark a path to the sword. She follows them up the hill. INT. COTTAGE - YEARS LATER A SMALL REDHEADED GIRL jumps up and runs to open the door. Aiden, a red scar across his forehead, but otherwise strong and fit, smiles as she opens the door, snow swirling, a string of rabbits tied around his shoulders. SMALL GIRL Da! AIDEN (closing the door) Little one! He drops the rabbits and picks her up, balancing her on his arm. Allena turns from the steaming pot. She's heavy with child. She stares at all the rabbits ALLENA So ... all the traps were full? AIDEN Not a single one. All unsprung and empty. ALLENA But...? AIDEN By each trap there was one or two rabbits ... just lying there, only needing to be picked up. EXT. COTTAGE - NIGHT Allena makes her way slowly up the hill, the slippery ice and her extra weight making it a challenge. She's carrying a bowl of stew. She stops and sets it down. ALLENA (whispering) Thank you. She turns and makes her way slowly back to the cottage. The Banshee and her wolves emerge from the drifts. The wolves make quick work of the stew. The Banshee waits until Allena is safely inside the cottage before turning and disappearing into the night.
__________________
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.


dpaterso is offline  
Old 02-15-2018, 05:36 AM   #7
dpaterso
Member
 
dpaterso's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Caledonia
Posts: 7,000
Default Re: Entries - Valentine's 2018 contest

Code:
Beyond The Grave INT. HOUSE - MAN DEN - DAY A dark, dimly lit den. Book shelves are dusty and half full. A MAN sits and stares into a cold fireplace. His hair is a mess, like it hasn't been touched in a long long time. His face is covered in hair. His eyes look nice though. This is SCOTT. The doorbell rings. Scott doesn't move. The doorbell rings again. Scott leans back into his trusty man chair and puts his feet up. SCOTT I gave at the funeral A phone BUZZES and SPINS on the side table until Scott slowly picks it up. He checks the annoyance. It's a text message. The text message reads: "Hey stupid, I do have a key." SCOTT (CONT'D) Stupid? Scott gets out of his man chair and walks to the door. INT. FOYER - CONTINUOUS The door opens and a woman stands there holding a phone in one hand and a key in the other. She's cute, Asian, mid 30's with long hair. This is CINDY. CINDY (wide eyed) What the hell happened to your face? And hair... and body. Cindy fakes left and goes right. She's been here before, straight to the man den. INT. MAN DEN - CONTINUOUS Cindy heads to the desk and snaps the desk light up one level to reveal a small disaster. CINDY Dark, dirty and disgusting. Love what you've done with the place. Scott pauses a little as he slides back into his chair. SCOTT Feel free to clean up. CINDY Enough with the foreplay. Cindy goes behind the desk and opens the curtains. Dust flies. She moves and opens the last set, next to the fireplace. She looks above it. CINDY (CONT'D) Oh my. Cindy moves to the chair, puts her hand on Scott's shoulder. He takes her hand, stands up and... SCOTT AND CINDY EMBRACE PULL BACK TO REVEAL A cluster of pictures over the fireplace. Scott and a pretty women having fun. Cindy with short hair and the woman wearing funny hats. The center picture is larger, it is the woman in a wedding dress, she looks stunning. Scott sits back down, wipes a couple of tears away. SCOTT The beard really helps when I start leaking. Cindy sits close to him. CINDY Or it helps you hide. You've been hiding for nearly a year. SCOTT I've been right here, no hiding. CINDY Come on Scott, I've been calling and texting. I talked to your buddies, same thing. It's time to let her go... Scott gets up, rushes to the wet bar and pours a quick shot and downs it. CINDY (CONT'D) Oh my god, you're a drunk now. Scott is amused as he returns to his chair. SCOTT I wish. I tried and tried but I was done in by the hangovers. Cindy reaches over and pats his furry cheek. CINDY (as to a baby) You're so soft. You're so soft aren't you. Scott playfully pushes her hand away. SCOTT I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think... I'm getting there. CINDY Good. I'm only in town for a couple of days, I have a job interview tomorrow. Why don't we have dinner tonight? SCOTT Outside? Together? CINDY Yes out, can't eat here without getting the plague. It'll be good for you. Good for us. Plus if you say no, I will torture you for eternity. SCOTT (mumbles to himself) Us? Scott shoots to his feet and starts to pace. CINDY Don't worry hon, I'm not gonna bite... much. I'll pick you up, just shave that thing off your face. Cindy moves in closer and closer and whispers in Scott's ear. CINDY (CONT'D) And hon, once you go Asian, you'll never go Caucasian. INT. FOYER - CONTINUOUS Cindy moves to the foyer, turns around, looks Scott up and down and smiles. CINDY I'll be back in 3 hours, you got a lot of work to do princess. Cindy closes the DOOR. SCOTT Did I say yes? INT. FOYER - LATER The doorbell rings. The DOOR opens. SCOTT I did the best... A man in a suit and drivers hat greets him as Scott tries to finish his thoughts. SCOTT (CONT'D) I could. MAN Happy Valentine's Day sir. I'm Paul, your driver for tonight. Your date is waiting in the limo. EXT. FRONT WALKWAY - CONTINUOUS Scott and the driver walk towards the limo. Scott mumbles to himself. SCOTT Valentine's Day? Date? They stop at the limo, the driver opens the door and they are greeted by a great pair of legs. INT. LIMO - MOMENTS LATER Scott falls into the limo, he's not very smooth. Cindy is smoking hot now. Scott has also done a nice clean up. His eyes are nice. CINDY Look at you. You clean up... okay I guess. But, I kind of miss that smelly, furry creature. Did you get de-wormed too? Scott reaches and pours himself a shot. He never looks at her. The legs were enough. SCOTT (confused) Sounds great. I'm hungry too. Cindy smiles. The ride continues in silence... The limo pulls into a restaurant and stops in front. EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT Scott and Cindy stand in front of the fancy restaurant. SCOTT This was our favorite restaurant, I thought I'd never go here again. CINDY Oh was it... I had no idea. INT. RESTAURANT - ENTRANCE - NIGHT Scott and Cindy walk towards the Maitre d'. This place looks expensive. MAITRE D' Good evening sir. It's great to see you again. Ma'am, everything is ready, as you requested. CINDY Great, thanks. MAITRE D' Follow me please. Cindy and Scott follow him down a dark hall, past the main part of the restaurant. He opens a door and motions for them to enter. MAITRE D' (CONT'D) Here is your private room for the night. Enjoy. They enter a beautiful private room. A lit fireplace in one end, a nice table and a couple of TV'S blend into the stone walls. Cindy takes a very confused Scott by the hand. CINDY You sit here. Scott takes his seat as told. CINDY (CONT'D) I'll be back, need to freshen up. Cindy exits the room with a wink. SCOTT You look pretty ripe to me... Stop it... have dinner... go home... grow beard. The waiter glides to the table and puts a glass of red wine in front of him. Scott looks around. No one. He smells the wine. SCOTT (CONT'D) Is this...? WAITER Yes sir. Your favorite wine. SCOTT Our favorite. What's going on here? WAITER I don't know what you mean sir. The waiter starts to leave, he smoothly pulls out a small remote, points it at the TV across from Scott, pushes a button and continues on his way. Scott burns holes in him as he leaves. FEMALE (O.S.) Boooooooo. Scott's head snaps. On the TV is the same women from the pictures above his fireplace. She looks more frail but still attractive. This is MANNY. She is sitting in the exact same spot,in the exact same restaurant, minus the TV. She almost blends in. SCOTT Holy s***! Manny. MANNY Happy Valentine's Day. You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you? SCOTT Well... MANNY Well what? SCOTT How did... MANNY I know what you're going to say? SCOTT How did you get me here? I'm talking to a TV... no I'm asking it questions. MANNY You needed to get out, I got you out. With the help of my sexy assistant of course. Hope she didn't damage you too much. SCOTT She sure did. Manny raises her glass of wine. MANNY Cheers baby. Scott follows and they drink. The shock is starting to wear off. The waiter returns and puts a dish in front of him. WAITER Your appetizer sir. The waiter also makes an appearance on the TV and puts the same dish in front of Manny. SCOTT So weird. MANNY Eat, it's your favorite. Scott devours the cubes of meat. MANNY (CONT'D) More wine baby? She playfully snaps her fingers and the waiter perfectly shows up and fills his glass. They both giggle, this is more like it. They are getting back in the groove. SCOTT God I miss you. MANNY Before we eat more meat... The waiter appears and hands him a folder. Scott pulls out some photos. MANNY (CONT'D) I thought you might want to see some evidence I collected in 10 years of marriage. Manny is holding the same folder of photos. She selects one. MANNY (CONT'D) Remember this one? Scott smiles and puts his hand over his eyes. SCOTT Oh no. 23 marshmallows later. Easy fit. The FIRE crackles and pops. It now looks like Manny has come back from the dead as she sits across from Scott. They are back, lovers reunited. SERIES OF SHOTS -- Manny and Scott stare at a picture and laugh hysterically. -- Manny and Scott stare at each other as they eat. -- The waiter clears the plates. The FIRE crackles and pops. Manny has returned inside her TV. Scott sits and stares at her. SCOTT (CONT'D) Thanks Manny, you always know what I need. MANNY You're welcome... It's almost time for dessert. But, I have something to say first. You know, if you were the one who died, I'm sorry but I'd be dating Clooney by now. Scott and Manny have a good chuckle. MANNY (CONT'D) It's time to move on Scott. You can't keep sitting in our... your house growing hair. This, will be our last Valentine's Day together. Scott shifts uncomfortably, eye's glossy. MANNY (CONT'D) It's time for dessert. Cindy arrives on the TV with a piece of chocolate cake. Her hair is shorter and she's wearing a hot red dress. She sits next to Manny. SCOTT (high-pitched) Jesus. MANNY Happy Valentine's Day... Here's my present. It's okay. The real Cindy appears looking exactly the same as the TV. She has a piece of cake. She's cut her hair too. She offers Scott a fork. The TV SCREEN behind them goes DARK.
__________________
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.


dpaterso is offline  
Old 02-15-2018, 05:43 AM   #8
dpaterso
Member
 
dpaterso's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Caledonia
Posts: 7,000
Default Re: Entries - Valentine's 2018 contest

Code:
1001 Valentine Days EXT. FAIRLAND, NORTH DAKOTA - DAY It's early morning, the dawn of new day in a dying town. Nearly swallowed by endless fields of wheat, the town would be lost completely, if not for eight large grain elevators sitting between a two-lane road and railroad tracks. "Carol's Diner" is the last gasp of commercial life in Fairland. A neon sign blinks doing it best to survive. Four pickups and a 64 Ford Galaxy are parked outside. INT. CAROL'S DINER - DAY Inside the old diner is a little worn, but spick and span. CAROL, early sixties, is behind the counter, checking the coffee pots and wiping down the counter. Long resigned to this life, she's content. Five middle-aged and older farmers, all wearing overalls, are at one end of the diner. Breakfast eaten, they allow SHERRY, twenty-one, to collect their breakfast dishes and refresh their coffee cups. She's ridiculously upbeat, for this early in the morning. After she takes the dishes in back, she comes out with a dish towel and cleans the empty, clean tables. CAROL Relax, I don't pay enough to work that hard. Sit down for awhile. Sherry sits down at the counter, across from Carol. Obviously uncomfortable and anxious to be active. When the farmers all get up to go as a group, she stares at the empty booth. Carol can't help but smile. CAROL (CONT'D) Go get 'em, girl. Sherry jumps up and gets to work. INT. CAROL'S DINER - LATER Everything is cleaned up and the diner is empty. Carol sits at the counter, breaks out a deck of cards and plays solitaire. Sherry checks everything, again, and watches the clock. Through the window, the women watch a car pull up. A young man, MIKE, who's not a farmer, gets out. Carol picks up her cards, and stares at the young man. CAROL He gives me the shudders. Sherry is not disgusted -- she's in love. SHERRY It's not his fault he can't remember. CAROL I know, Sherry. But it still gives me the shudders. Cheeseburger and fries, for breakfast, on the way. Carol goes to the kitchen and the small bell rings on the door, when Mike enters. He looks lost, dazzled by the emptiness, as he looks around at the diner, but still has a sense of humor. MIKE Do I need a reservation? SHERRY No, but it's a good idea. He sits at a nearby table. She pulls out her order pad. SHERRY (CONT'D) Would you like anything to drink? MIKE A coke? SHERRY OK. She hands him a breakfast menu. MIKE Is it too early to order a cheeseburger and fries? Sherry catches herself whispering the words with him, as he talks. He gives her a look. SHERRY (embarrased) Sorry -- no. No, a cheeseburger and fries is not a problem. Carol, who can hear everything in the quiet diner, stifles a laugh. CAROL (to Sherry) Oops, better watch yourself, kiddo. Sherry clips the ticket on the order wheel. SHERRY Order up. (whispering) He must think I'm nuts. INT. CAROL'S DINER - LATER Mike and Sherry have been talking and flirting for hours. He checks his watch -- one o'clock. MIKE I'm sorry, I'm not usually a chatty Kathy. SHERRY It's been a slow day. I think my boss will let it slide just this one time. MIKE I hope so. I don't want to get you in trouble. He picks up the ticket and goes to pay. Carol does her best to give him a stern look. CAROL Leaving, already? MIKE Sorry, ma'am. It won't happen again. CAROL Do you want to bet? Sherry intercedes. SHERRY Mike probably needs to be on his way. She ushers him to the door. Mike gulps and stares at his shoes. Then finds courage. MIKE Sherry would you like to go to a Valentine dance in Burktown, tomorrow night? SHERRY OK. MIKE I can pick you up at seven? SHERRY Sure. I'll see you then. He leaves, a happy young man. She has tears in her eyes. Carol hugs her -- comforts her. CAROL You can't keep doing this to yourself. SHERRY But I love him. CAROL And he loves you, but he forgets that every night. Almost three years -- you can't keep doing this. SHERRY What else can I do? INT. CAROL'S DINER - LATER Late afternoon. Sherry is scrubbing pots when Carol comes in. CAROL Oh look, the florist from Burktown just delivered these flowers for you. And there's a Valentine's card. (reading) Hello Sherry, do you believe in love at first sight, because-- SHERRY --I think I know the rest. What am I going to do? INT. CAROL'S DINER - NEXT DAY Sherry looks at the clock -- waits. LATER 11 A.M. LATER 1 P.M. They watch as a car pulls up and a well-dressed, middle-aged women DOROTHY walks in. Sherry collapses into a chair, expecting the worse. Dorothy walks right up to her. DOROTHY Sherry? SHERRY Yes? DOROTHY I know my nephew, Mike, is very fond of you. He had a set back last night. He is in Mercy Hospital in St. Paul. I'm sorry, it's serious. INT. CAROL'S DINER - NIGHT SHERRY I have to go. If I can get to Burktown, I can still catch a bus. CAROL You're not going to listen to me, are you? SHERRY I have to go. Carol opens the till -- pulls out a wad of cash and takes a set of car keys off a wall peg and hands it all to Sherry. CAROL Take the Galaxy. The gas gauge doesn't work. Keep gas in it and check the oil. SHERRY Thank you. INT. MERCY HOSPITAL - NIGHT Busy hospital reception desk. A RECEPTIONIST with too much to do tries to keep everyone happy. An impossible task, especially in a hospital. RECEPTIONIST Mike Post is in ICU. No visitors allowed. Sorry. INT. MERCY HOSPITAL, ICU - LATER Sherry has managed to find a way to Mike's bed in the ICU. She sits by him and holds his hand. He's not conscious. The room is dim and there's curtains and all sorts of beeping and suction noises, which mean nothing to Sherry. SHERRY You told me a thousand times you love me and I never told you once. With tears rolling down her cheeks, she kisses his forehead. SHERRY (CONT'D) I love you, Mike. I love you. I loved you the first day we met. The beeping noises get excited. Mike's eyes flutter open, confused at first, he smiles at her, trying to speak. A NURSE rushes in, motions to Sherry to stay, and examines Mike. More people arrive, including a large, serious looking GUARD. LATER Mike has been revived, many people are around him now, including his mother, MRS. POST, sour-looking, middle-aged and upper crust. She glares at Sherry. GUARD Who are you? SHERRY Sherry DeWitt. I know Mike in Fairland. MRS. POST That's ridiculous. Mike didn't know anyone in Fairland. NURSE Who gave you permission to come in here? SHERRY No one. I snuck in. MRS. POST I want this woman arrested! GUARD Sir, do you know this woman? Mike looks at Sherry but can't make a connection. MIKE No, I don't. INT. CAROL'S DINER - DAY No longer upbeat, Sherry is listless as she sleepwalks through the diner. An old farmer tries to get her attention, waving an empty coffee cup in the air. Carol takes the coffee pot and Sherry plops down on a stool. Soon Carol returns. CAROL At least they dropped the charges. SHERRY Yeah. CAROL If you need more time. SHERRY I'm OK. CAROL No. You're not, honey. The bell on the door rings and Mike walks in, dressed to impress. He carries flowers and a Valentine card. MIKE I remember it all, Sherry DeWitt. Caught offguard she quickly turns toward him. SHERRY You remember what, Mike Post? MIKE I remember I asked you to the Valentine dance a thousand times. I remember you said yes a thousand times. I remember I sent you flowers a thousand times and Valentine's card a thousand times. And I told you I loved you a thousand times. SHERRY And I remember you stood me up a thousand times for that Valentine's day dance. Is there anything else you remember? MIKE Yes. I remember you told me you loved me and brought me back to life. SHERRY I guess you do remember everything. He hands her the Valentine's Day card and the flowers. MIKE Carol, would it be alright to take Sherry away for today, if she says yes this time. CAROL Sure, she's useless to me anyway. MIKE Thank you Carol. Sherry, will you go to... a dance of some kind, with me today? SHERRY OK. He moves in for a kiss. SHERRY (CONT'D) A kiss on the first date? What kind of floozy do you think I am? He's flustered and before he can answer she kisses him. FADE OUT.
__________________
Nobody knows anything, and I'm nobody.


dpaterso is offline  
Closed Thread


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:29 PM.


Powered by vBulletin Version 3.6.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Done Deal Pro

eXTReMe Tracker