Originally posted by Darthclaw13
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It was a simple statement of fact and not intended to hurt your feelings or demean you in any way. My apologies if my direct comment caused any hurt feelings. It was a statement that no matter OUR opinions, mine included, there are always others that disagree. Good, or even great writing, is not about how many words are on the page.
Personally, I think it's a good lesson for any writer to challenge that their perceptions about the industry, because it presents you with an opportunity to better understand how one can be successful in this business. You (generally any writer) has a choice 1) reconsider your approach and adapt to the industry, or 2) continue with the path that you're on.
Either can be successful.
There is nothing shameful about being wrong-- it's the cornerstone of how we humans learn. If I'm called out for being wrong at work, I don't blame the other person for my discomfort.
Yes, Walter Hill did a great job writing Alien with few descriptions, however, he did use punctuation and complete sentences where needed. He would not, did not break a sentence apart in the middle for no reason.
Case in point from the example you posted with high praise:
He ignores it and slowly, cautiously walks to the side of the
bed where
His MOTHER sleeps"
Why is this sentence broken into three parts? There is no reason for this.
bed where
His MOTHER sleeps"
Why is this sentence broken into three parts? There is no reason for this.
Here is an excerpt from Hill's Alien script:
FADE IN:
EXTREME CLOSEUPS OF FLICKERING INSTRUMENT PANELS. Readouts and digital
displays pulse eerily with the technology of the distant future.
Wherever we are, it seems to be chill, dark, and sterile. Electronic
machinery chuckles softly to itself.
Abruptly we hear a BEEPING SIGNAL, and the machinery begins to awaken.
Circuits close, lights blink on.
CAMERA ANGLES GRADUALLY WIDEN, revealing more and more of the
machinery, banks of panels, fluttering gauges, until we reveal:
INTERIOR - HYPERSLEEP VAULT
A stainless steel room with no windows, the walls packed with
instrumentation. The lights are dim and the air is frigid.
Occupying most of the floor space are rows of horizontal FREEZER
COMPARTMENTS, looking for all the world like meat lockers.
FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! With explosions of escaping gas, the lids on the
freezers pop open.
As you can see he uses full sentences and punctuation, but even when he uses partial sentences they make sense and have meaning. This is what I am talking about.
FADE IN:
EXTREME CLOSEUPS OF FLICKERING INSTRUMENT PANELS. Readouts and digital
displays pulse eerily with the technology of the distant future.
Wherever we are, it seems to be chill, dark, and sterile. Electronic
machinery chuckles softly to itself.
Abruptly we hear a BEEPING SIGNAL, and the machinery begins to awaken.
Circuits close, lights blink on.
CAMERA ANGLES GRADUALLY WIDEN, revealing more and more of the
machinery, banks of panels, fluttering gauges, until we reveal:
INTERIOR - HYPERSLEEP VAULT
A stainless steel room with no windows, the walls packed with
instrumentation. The lights are dim and the air is frigid.
Occupying most of the floor space are rows of horizontal FREEZER
COMPARTMENTS, looking for all the world like meat lockers.
FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! With explosions of escaping gas, the lids on the
freezers pop open.
As you can see he uses full sentences and punctuation, but even when he uses partial sentences they make sense and have meaning. This is what I am talking about.
Here is the opening of Alien, different from the excerpt you selected...
Code:
INT. OILY CORRIDOR - "C" LEVEL Long, dark. Empty. Turbos throbbing. No other movement. INT. CORRIDOR - "A" LEVEL Long, empty. INT. INFIRMARY - "A" LEVEL Distressed ivory walls. All instrumentation at rest. INT. CORRIDOR TO BRIDGE - "A" LEVEL Black, empty. INT. BRIDGE Vacant. Two space helmets resting on chairs. Electrical hum. Lights on the helmets begin to signal one another. Moments of silence. A yellow light goes on. Data mind bank in b.g. Electronic hum. A green light goes on in front of one helmet. Electronic pulsing sounds. A red light goes on in front of other helmet. An electronic conversation ensues. Reaches a crescendo. Then silence. The lights go off, save the yellow.
It seems you're struggling with is a style that is different from yours. This is a horror script and as such, it's important to convey a sense of suspense and dread in order to build it to a moment of surprise. It's no different than using ellipses or double dashes instead of a period. One way to create a delay or pause is to use the page to expand the story and have it unfold in a a way that would reflect how it might be shot in real time. Let it breathe, so to speak.
I do agree with you that story matters, however, format matters as well. As far as your opinion that filling the page with writing is the antitheses of screenwriting, that is your opinion but I tend to disagree with you on that. Screenwriters should write, not hint around at what they are trying to convey within the story. When you read Hill's script, you are there. You can feel the cold, you can hear the machinery, etc.
The MOVIE is the end result.
If you (writers in general) feel so strongly that your words matter more than others in the industry do, perhaps you're better suited to write novels, because novels are the end result of an entertaining literary piece-- that is the end result. In a novel the writer has the FINAL word.
However, if you want to write screenplays, you should temper your expectations on how others perceive the importance of your words on the page, because a screenplay is the starting point, the beginning of the journey of a movie. It is not intended to be published or read by the consumer. It is intended as a roadmap to making a MOVIE. When you're in production and have to rewrite a scene, they won't give a **** how beautifully evocative you write that the killer crosses the street and bashes a character over the head with a sledgehammer.
There are many screenwriters who put a lot more into their scripts and there is nothing wrong about this. Quentin Tarantino, whether you like his films or not, is an example. When you read one of his scripts, like Inglorious Basterds, you are there. You feel the sun, you smell the grass on the farm, you feel the palpable tension within the words on the page. Just like story matters, words matter as well for they are the story.
But, more words on the page does not mean a story better told. How do you know that this writer won't become famous? One day you may refer to his writing the same way. You seem to have closed your mind to the idea that this is a good script from a tiny example simply because a writer doesn't use periods. That's a very narrow, limiting viewpoint, imo.
It's interesting that you mention Tarantino, because if you've ever read his screenplays, he is a notoriously poor speller. It's interesting that you don't call that out. It drives me crazy when I read his scripts, but his writing is so compelling I completely overlook it. Tarantino has also written some movies with chapters instead of using traditional structure. That's his style. But a writer drops a period from his sentences and it's too much for you? I find that curious.
I've actually deliberately eliminated a period at the end of a sentence to avoid a widow. I often write without question marks in dialogue without realizing it. I've forgotten periods often. So you're making a pretty firm stand about a script, I assume, you've never read? Perhaps if you read it, you may feel differently about the writer.
Either way, it doesn't matter, because the movie sold and it's getting made. That's the bottom line. It's creepy as ****, too. Great ending.
Plus, as far as me being wrong about managers/agents passing on a script with broken sentences, no punctuation, etc., I know several that will stop reading a script if they get to one typo not to mention formatting/structure issues. But, I am sure that there are some that would be fine repping someone who writes so sparsely they break sentences apart with gaps.
When a manager or agent sends a script to someone in the industry that manager/agent's reputation speaks for the submission. It says... trust me, you wanna read this. Twenty-nine industry professionals voted on this script-- do you have any idea how difficult that is? I mean, seriously it's a big deal.
And it's incredible to me that you are judging a work that you haven't even read. I'm not mistaken, right? You have not read it? You can bet that every person that turned Jaws away or Star Wars away had serious second thoughts once the films came out. People in the industry can and are wrong all the time.
In my opinion, comparing a very, very sparsely written script with a Walter Hill script, is like comparing a singer who uses auto-tune to Freddie Mercury. The auto-tune singer may be popular and raking in the money, but take the auto-tune away and you get flat and sharp off-key notes with no artistry. You take away everything else around Freddie and he could still belt it out beautifully.
Walter HIll's" sparseness" is still very well rounded and a world that you can almost touch, feel, hear, smell, etc. There is a difference between writing a script with only a few words and writing one using a few well chosen words.
Each to his own and I always wish for each screenwriter to have their stories told and their characters come to life.
To quote the Klingons.....Q'aplah!
Each to his own and I always wish for each screenwriter to have their stories told and their characters come to life.
To quote the Klingons.....Q'aplah!
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