"Credits here"

[realphipps]

Polishing a pilot for an 8 ep in the "True Detective" meets "The Sinner" storytelling medium and one of my mechanisms for closing each episode, with a cliffhanger, involves having different POVs broken up by credits.

Obviously, not the actual credits, just where they go in each ep's closing.

I understand this is unusual, but I'm going to roll with it regardless, unless one of you fine folks offers some strong advice against such.

It reads and works well. Very well. If a reader gets to this point, page 54ish for each ep, then they've read it all the way through. Would "directing" on the final 2 pages really be a major turnoff?

Thanks in advance for any and all help!

[Done Deal Pro]

It's a little tough to say or perfectly imagine when you say, "broken up by credits" but "not the actual credits." There are either credits running or not. If you are showing different scenes via flashbacks, different POVs or whatever, then those will certainly be considered part of the episode. Once credits of any kind start showing, then they are actual credits and part of the credit roll. In that case, I'd be careful to make sure no one misses anything important. If it's just a bonus treat or moment, then who knows? Maybe the network will go for it if it's fun. Always a nice way to get people to watch the credits, of course.

If you truly believe it will work, then give it a shot. Keep in mind, as I noted in the previous paragraph, many might not "stay" to watch the credits.Thus, if an element is pretty crucial to the story be careful what you include where & when in each episode. Marvel movies do fun little mid end credit scenes and/or even an additional scene at the end of the credit roll, of course, but films at least most don't. As for TV and in your case, I don't recall ever seeing anything like that. Probably for a good reason. (Though, I'd maybe check by watching something like LOST, for an example.)

I wouldn't worry so much about it being a "directing on the page" issue. Directors are hired guns in many cases, the rest is up to the executive producers and/or networks in terms how things are cut together. Not saying the director wouldn't have any say for an eight episode series run, but they probably wouldn't be the determining decision, most likely.

[realphipps]

Appreciate your reply, Admin.

I love how they close Black Mirror episodes and, to a degree, want to emulate that extension of Charlie's storytelling through the "opening" of the closing credits. Take San Junipero for example...

In between credits for Director, Producer, Writer, we get the closing of the story really being woven together...

Yorkie is alone. CREDIT. Back home, shocker, there's Kelly waiting. Yorkie isn't alone after all. CREDIT. And now they're at the club dancing and together for eternity. CREDIT. And there's the building where this all is being stored "in real life." FINISH CREDITS.

This is the approach I've taken in my pilot, as well as Eps 2-7 outlines... Using the closing credits as a device to accelerate the pace and change in POVs.

Just wasn't sure if that was a no-no.

[Done Deal Pro]

Understood. I have not seen many BLACK MIRROR episodes, so don't recall exactly what they did/do exactly. But if you look at some of the scripts for the episodes there is no mention of credits at the end or scenes being interspersed between them as you noted. It's all an editorial/post-production decision, it more than looks like. Look at a few of shows' scripts and see how they match up with the finished episodes; including the one you noted: It's very easy to do.

I wouldn't say it's a complete "no-no" but surely not needed. Overall, I wouldn't suggest worrying about. Just tell the story really well, then let the producers, directors and editors decide how to cut the episodes and what to include in the credit roll. Again, your call though on what you do in your script.

[Anagram]

Hi realhipps, it's hard to judge how well it's working without reading or seeing it.

Just based on what you've written, I'd vote against it. My concern would be whether you would be creating a dissonance between credits (which remind us that we're watching something fictional) and the scenes themselves, which we should be fully immersed in as an audience.

It could take away from the power of what you're trying to achieve, and result in the audience not feeling what you want them to feel.

I'm sure there's a cool way to do it, there's a cool way to do most anything, but I'd ask if the end result ends up serving the story you're trying to tell.