This is not a big deal. But, I'm often intrigued by the English language as Vincent in Pulp Fiction was intrigued by McDonald's in Paris.
(And so, I truly chuckled (with agreement) when I read this in a comment Craig Mazin posted during his reddit AMA: "I'm attached to three projects, and none is a comedy.")
To the extent that "then" is used in the assortment of screenplays I've read, it seems it always appears at the start of an action sentence (or clause, or phrase). Sometimes preceded by "And"; but otherwise, "then" is right up front.
And so...
Now. Based on all sorts of writing I've done in various jobs over the years (writing that is/was not screenwriting), it seems clearer to me to sometimes put "then" right before the verb. Maybe to give a stronger sense of continuation.
But it also lets me put a more important word at the beginning of the sentence. And so, for example, tweaking the above scene -
I like the notion that "there are no rules". Yet, some things you just don't want to do. Such as: "ALLEYWAY - EXT. - NIGHT". And ya don't want to put page numbers centered at the bottom of the page, even though that'd still be intelligible.
And I do get the idea that putting "then" at the start, versus embedding, seems clearer from a blocking perspective.
So... I'm wondering, from a script reader's POV, if the "Jack then slams..." version is an awkwardly out-of-norm/rhythm kinda thing.
(And so, I truly chuckled (with agreement) when I read this in a comment Craig Mazin posted during his reddit AMA: "I'm attached to three projects, and none is a comedy.")
To the extent that "then" is used in the assortment of screenplays I've read, it seems it always appears at the start of an action sentence (or clause, or phrase). Sometimes preceded by "And"; but otherwise, "then" is right up front.
And so...
EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT
JACK and JILL are beating the crap out of BOB.
Jill lands a wicked right hook to his jaw. Then
Jack slams a crowbar to the back of Bob's
knees.
(Yeh, one may argue that "Then" isn't needed, as it's necessarily implied. Yet, good writers certainly use it that way.) JACK and JILL are beating the crap out of BOB.
Jill lands a wicked right hook to his jaw. Then
Jack slams a crowbar to the back of Bob's
knees.
Now. Based on all sorts of writing I've done in various jobs over the years (writing that is/was not screenwriting), it seems clearer to me to sometimes put "then" right before the verb. Maybe to give a stronger sense of continuation.
But it also lets me put a more important word at the beginning of the sentence. And so, for example, tweaking the above scene -
EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT
JACK and JILL are beating the crap out of BOB.
Jill lands a wicked right hook to his jaw. Jack
then slams a crowbar to the back of Bob's
knees.
Maybe lots of screenwriters do use "then" that latter way, but I've just not seen their scripts. Or I didn't notice that usage when I read them.JACK and JILL are beating the crap out of BOB.
Jill lands a wicked right hook to his jaw. Jack
then slams a crowbar to the back of Bob's
knees.
I like the notion that "there are no rules". Yet, some things you just don't want to do. Such as: "ALLEYWAY - EXT. - NIGHT". And ya don't want to put page numbers centered at the bottom of the page, even though that'd still be intelligible.
And I do get the idea that putting "then" at the start, versus embedding, seems clearer from a blocking perspective.
So... I'm wondering, from a script reader's POV, if the "Jack then slams..." version is an awkwardly out-of-norm/rhythm kinda thing.
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