Scene within a scene

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  • Scene within a scene

    Hi Guys,

    I was wondering if you could help.

    I am writing a scene where a couple are at a fair. They start off on a Helter Skelter and then go on other attractions with different reactions. It is one persons first time at a fair.

    They go into a haunted house next. I don't want to write about what happens in the haunted house as we all know what happens in them. It is simply to show them going in and then the reaction as they come out.

    After this they go to some games and we see them after the games having won at one of them. I again, don't want to write about the games because we all know how hook a duck or ring toss works. It is more about the outcome and reactions.

    I don't want to do it as a montage so am wondering do I just do a transition as in CUT TO?

    Anyway, I hope this is kind of clear and any help would be much appreciated.

    Thanks

    James

  • #2
    Re: Scene within a scene

    If I understand what you are asking, I think that a series of very short scenes would serve you best.

    I am not a stickler about definitions. You might call this a Scene Sequence or a Series of Shots. As I said, I am not hung up on definitions. Also, you might do this in a number of ways. You can even have your characters say a few words in each of these mini-scenes. Do a cutaway shot showing "fairground things" between each of the mini-scenes to indicate a transition.

    If the fairground activities shift to an interior location, do another Master Scene Heading with INT. instead of EXT.

    I would do this:
    Code:
    EXT. FAIRGROUNDS - NIGHT
    
    SCENE SEQUENCE: "Fun at the Fair"
    
    HAUNTED HOUSE
    
    Bob and Sally go into the Haunted House.
    
    They come back out.
    
                        BOB
             That was not scary.
    
                        SALLY
             Not a bit.
    
    RING-TOSS BOOTH
    
    Sally tosses a ring, and it lands on the peg.
    
    END SCENE SEQUENCE: "Fun at the Fair"
    Just because of the way that I prefer, I would probably use EXT. with each of the locations above, so I would have EXT. HAUNTED HOUSE. But that is just a personal preferences. Most people seem to like mini-slugs.

    Just make yourself clear.

    "The fact that you have seen professionals write poorly is no reason for you to imitate them." - ComicBent.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Scene within a scene

      Your question's been answered, so let me ask another, if this isn't interesting to you, and it sure sounds as if it isn't, why write these scenes at all? Why not put them into a more interesting setting and surroundings instead?

      What's the tone of the script? Drama, comedy?
      Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
      in Writing Exercises forum

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Scene within a scene

        The going in and the coming out have reason and are interesting. I don't feel it necessary to show what happens in there as we all know.
        Much like when you see a shot of someone walking into a casino and the next shot is them coming out with loads of money. We know they have won but we don't need to see a ball spinning around a roulette wheel. It simply isn't needed to make the scene work.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Scene within a scene

          Thank you for the response and help. I thought I had sent a thank you but apparently I had not.

          Thanks


          Originally posted by ComicBent View Post
          If I understand what you are asking, I think that a series of very short scenes would serve you best.

          I am not a stickler about definitions. You might call this a Scene Sequence or a Series of Shots. As I said, I am not hung up on definitions. Also, you might do this in a number of ways. You can even have your characters say a few words in each of these mini-scenes. Do a cutaway shot showing "fairground things" between each of the mini-scenes to indicate a transition.

          If the fairground activities shift to an interior location, do another Master Scene Heading with INT. instead of EXT.

          I would do this:
          Code:
          EXT. FAIRGROUNDS - NIGHT
          
          SCENE SEQUENCE: "Fun at the Fair"
          
          HAUNTED HOUSE
          
          Bob and Sally go into the Haunted House.
          
          They come back out.
          
                              BOB
                   That was not scary.
          
                              SALLY
                   Not a bit.
          
          RING-TOSS BOOTH
          
          Sally tosses a ring, and it lands on the peg.
          
          END SCENE SEQUENCE: "Fun at the Fair"
          Just because of the way that I prefer, I would probably use EXT. with each of the locations above, so I would have EXT. HAUNTED HOUSE. But that is just a personal preferences. Most people seem to like mini-slugs.

          Just make yourself clear.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Scene within a scene

            Thanks, Jab, but really no need to thank me.

            I have been answering questions here, as best I could, for about twenty years. I have learned a lot from experienced screenwriters here. I take all the things that I know and then look logically at any situation that someone asks about.

            Happy writing!

            "The fact that you have seen professionals write poorly is no reason for you to imitate them." - ComicBent.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Scene within a scene

              Originally posted by Jab2019 View Post
              Much like when you see a shot of someone walking into a casino and the next shot is them coming out with loads of money. We know they have won but we don't need to see a ball spinning around a roulette wheel. It simply isn't needed to make the scene work.
              Fair enough, can't argue. So it's a comedy. :) Good luck with it.
              Results posted for the Halloween 2020 contest
              in Writing Exercises forum

              Comment

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