Passive or not? Any suggestions?

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  • Passive or not? Any suggestions?

    Help me clear my head please.

    I'm going to make some general substitutions to get my situation across:

    Say my protag is a struggling actor. He's also a total screw up. This doesn't help his acting career and results in him owing money all over town. When he must cough up the money quickly, and having just blown his most recent acting opportunity, he takes an unusual job to get the cash.

    Now...this unusual job utilizes his acting skills. And he'll have opportunities to explore his acting goals throughout the story. But his reason for taking the job is to earn money to pay off debts before his legs get broken.

    So is this too passive? Does this protag need to aggressively pursue something? Should this unusual job itself be the key to his acting goal?

    Ele...

  • #2
    Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

    What is he risking by taking the job? Imo, the less risk there is, the less active his character may seem. The more he has to risk by taking the job and pulling it off, the more active he'll have to be.
    #writinginaStarbucks #re-thinkingmyexistence #notanotherweaklogline #thinkingwhatwouldWilldo

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    • #3
      Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

      Very true. I'm fleshing out a bit more. I always hate this part. But if you lay the foundation correctly before you start writing, it always makes everything easier.

      Ele...

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      • #4
        Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

        Hey elephant1978,

        Passive isn't the right term because it seems like the main character is active with this unusual job. The job is the key here. To answer Ire's question, the risk should come through in conflict. Something that goes against who the main character is? I'm guessing this job will ruin his life/acting career if he fails to obtain the objective. Everything seems to be working. The only question I have is what is the objective?

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        • #5
          Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

          Well, I believe the objective and the risk need to be tied together. To continue my paranoid paraphrasing...

          This actor has been struggling. I'm going to give him a very serious father who the actor makes a deal with -- if he doesn't get a gig on a particular show, he'll throw in the towel and work for his dad. I know it's been done before but I'm writing something broad by intention. So now as I have it, the actor takes the unusual job as a means of getting that acting job -- there is something about this job that will get him the audition he needs. But as he screws up the job, he gets stuck in it. Now he's at risk of missing the audition, ruining his reputation, looking like a joke and of course, could ruin the other people at the job. There is the physical conflict of being stuck in this job until he fixes the mess he started and also the emotional conflict of trying to pursue that acting gig in the meantime.

          So his objective is to get this acting gig. The risk is that if he fails, he'll have to work for his father. And the conflict is that to get this acting gig he winds up in this unusual job. The stakes are the people affected by him screwing up this strange job. He'll get to a final moral dilemma of taking that acting gig or finishing the job he started to save the stakes characters (will he finally stop being a goof off and take responsibility?).

          Sorry for all of the generalities. I don't like to get into detail. Not just for theft reasons (although I don't think that happens on this board), but mainly because I don't like to let too much out of my head too soon. I'm going on 7 features now -- this actually works for me.

          Ele...

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          • #6
            Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

            i'm king kong.

            Vig

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            • #7
              Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

              Hey elephant1978,

              The focal point of your story seems to be the unusual job. If that is the case, the whole acting scenario becomes irrelevant. The unusal job is an objective that can stand on it's own without the acting objective because the unusual job has it's own oppositon, stakes, theme. The acting is just another add-on or layer to the story that does not need to be there.

              The objective should be the acting gig (directly). But since the objective is the unusual job (indirectly), it becomes a distraction because it seems the unusual job has nothing to do with acting except trying to get the acting gig.

              Look at your acts. You've set up the 1st & 3rd act as the acting goal, but the 2nd act is about something else in order to get that acting goal. This is fine if the unusual job lasts for a beat(s) or an event, but not for the entire 2nd act because then your story is about the unusual job and not the acting. The 2nd act should be about trying to pursue the acting goal directly and not pursuing another objective in order to get the acting objective.

              A logline would help clear this up a bit to pinpoint your story. I hope this makes sense. Is there something I'm missing?

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              • #8
                Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

                Well, snail, I see where you're coming from and I do think you're right to a point. I guess the situation here is that I have most of this in my head and know how it's gonna play out -- stuff I haven't posted on here. But basically, yes, the story is about this actor taking an unusual job. But in order to put him in a position where he must stay in the job and see it through to the end, I need some motivation. That motivation will be his need to prove to his father that he can be a performer. I need something pushing him through this job and something that's at risk.

                What I haven't gotten into is how the job and this experience will help him become the actor he needs to be to land the gig. They are very closely related. So, while there are aspects of the job that become important in the story, it's this actor's way of dealing with them that helps him develop his skills.

                I think I'm okay with everything now. I apologize for leaving everything so vague, but everybody's input has actually helped. I think it's best for me to go and finish outlining this sucker and make sure I know what I'm doing.

                Ele...

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                • #9
                  Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

                  Ele,

                  My 2 cents, take it for what it's worth...the protags motive doesn't seem to put him in any real danger, just that if he fails he goes to work for his father. It seems that if he fails he still lands in a safe albeit regrettable state. Not very suspenseful or compelling. Perhaps it could work better if his motive were to be, as you stated earlier to pay off his debts to some mobster or he gets "whacked", maybe the mobster even threatens his family. Now you have high stakes. Now lets say the play he gets cast in is off, off, off Broadway and his paycheque is based on the box office; the more the play makes the more he makes. So now he has a vested interest in the play making money. Now to pull it off he really has to come through as an actor thus changing himself from a hack to a pro and also learning not to be so much of a screw up in the process. The goal is only attainable if the character grows and overcomes his personal shortcomings. Thus your protags external goal is tied to his internal one. Now you just have to figure out what or who is working in opposition to him achieving his goal.

                  I see your protag as a likeable screw up who has disapointed and been a burden and emarassment to his family and friends for years. His career as an actor has been faltering for just as long. Perhaps he even has a drinking problem or has a bad habit of sleeping with his leading ladies. Maybe he thinks all the smaller opportunities are beneath him and he only wants big roles in important plays, etc. There's a lot to play with here and you could construct a very interesting character from it.

                  Good luck

                  BTN
                  "Only he is an emancipated thinker who is not afraid to write foolish things.-
                  -Chekhov

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                  • #10
                    Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

                    Fine suggestions, BTN. I appreciate them. I have this pretty unique situation for this actor to get into (this unusual job) and it does relate to acting in a weird way. So my wish is to write it in a way that shows how his success in this job improves his acting skills so that he can get the big part. Being a comedic script, death to him is becoming his dad. Working in the corporate world. I feel this works better to keep him in this unusual job than the idea of him owing money. Because if he blows this job, there are other ways to find cash to pay off a debt. And the real meat of my story is him in this job.

                    I've also found a fun way to keep him in the job whether he wants to stay or not. Basically, he needs to buckle down and grow up to complete this job, and he will be rewarded with an acting gig. The experience of the job is what allows him to be a more devoted, sincere person -- and for him to put that in his acting, which is one reason he never had the drive to make it. Not only is the job a direct means to an acting gig, it will be essential for him to have the goods to learn how to make it as an actor.

                    I've actually restructured my entire 1st act in extreme detail and I'm blown away by it. I'm so very happy and feel extremely comfortable with it. Now, I'm doing the worst part -- mapping out act 2. I will not be a happy guy for a few weeks.

                    Ele...

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                    • #11
                      Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

                      Yeah act two, the real test of fire for new writers. But if you set up act one right, act two will write itself.

                      Have you read Michael Hauges' Screenplay Structure? If not I suggest you do, it's a great help.

                      Best of luck.

                      BTN
                      "Only he is an emancipated thinker who is not afraid to write foolish things.-
                      -Chekhov

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                      • #12
                        Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

                        Well, I'm not exactly a "new" writer. I'm not a pro. But I've written quite a few scripts -- tv and film, worked closely with a lot of pros, gotten representation...I do know a thing or two. These posts are more for me to talk the script out of my head onto the page. And everybody's posts have helped a great deal with that. It's appreciated very much.

                        And it's not Tootsie. Take my word for it.

                        Ele...

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                        • #13
                          Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

                          Sorry, I'm not a newbie either, I've been around for years but I'm not sure of everyone's status on this board as I'm only here occasionally due to my other responsibilities and commitments. But act 2 is still a challenge for any writer regardless of their level of experience.

                          I also know how frustrating it can be to post bits of your screenplay and then have others make assumptions about its content without having read the whole screenplay leaving you to try to defend it. Bloody awful.

                          Good luck with it.

                          BTN
                          "Only he is an emancipated thinker who is not afraid to write foolish things.-
                          -Chekhov

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                          • #14
                            Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

                            It's all cool, BTN. I don't take any offense with those assumptions. I have to admit that sometimes it's tough to suck it up and ask for help -- makes you feel like you're writing script number one instead of script number seven. But I guess it's all part of the process. I'm just grateful to have people around this board who can help get the wheels turning.

                            Ele...

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                            • #15
                              Re: Passive or not? Any suggestions?

                              Originally posted by BestWriterEver
                              You're right. You're not a "new" writer. Yet. When you make your first sale, then you'll be a "new" writer. And then someday, with luck, you won't count your unsold scripts as proof of your expertise. You'll count your sold or produced scripts.
                              And maybe someday you won't be such a fvcking douchebag.

                              Ele...

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