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[NePatsFan]

Hey, guys. I'm writing a Romcom and I'm curious about a particular scene. It's a scene where the protagonist plays basketball against his rival, and the boyfriend of the girl of his dreams - similar to the football scene in Wedding Crashers, etc.

I'm curious how in depth I need to go with the writing of the game. Do I really need to describe everything that's going on e.g.

Joe looks for an open man and passes to John. John dribbles, spins past his defender, shoots. George leaps and swats it down. The crowd is loving it.

The scene has dialogue and builds up to a climax, but it all takes place during the game. Should I just be describing what the main character is doing in the scene, or all action that's goin on? (That's a lot to write, no?) Curious how you guys would handle the situation. Thanks a lot.

[ptandjc]

Re: Details details details

I wrote a script about college basketball and did describe the games as you have. But, the games played an important role - they were a lot of the action. If you're trying to convey how agile one is over the other, I think it can go to character description. The boyfriend's so smooth - the admirer's not, even at basketball.

[David Alin]

Re: Details details details

Hey, guys. I'm writing a Romcom and I'm curious about a particular scene. It's a scene where the protagonist plays basketball against his rival, and the boyfriend of the girl of his dreams - similar to the football scene in Wedding Crashers, etc.

I'm curious how in depth I need to go with the writing of the game. Do I really need to describe everything that's going on e.g.

Joe looks for an open man and passes to John. John dribbles, spins past his defender, shoots. George leaps and swats it down. The crowd is loving it.

The scene has dialogue and builds up to a climax, but it all takes place during the game. Should I just be describing what the main character is doing in the scene, or all action that's goin on? (That's a lot to write, no?) Curious how you guys would handle the situation. Thanks a lot.

Hey NePatsFan-

I would think you would write it out, it sounds more interesting IMPO, however, you've taught me a lot about things like this. I would like to see both ways to really tell ya, but I think the actual description is best.

[Otis]

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Check out the basketball scene in Cable Guy. I'm pretty sure the script is online.

[Deus Ex Machine]

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Remember to ask yourself why you are including the actions you include. Every action shouldn't just be about the game - it should be about the main conflict and the story.

Look at WC and pay attention to how the film focuses on the growing relationships and conflicts. Each pass, each throw, each tackle is not about football - it's about the story.

If you can develop character and story through the action - include it. If you can't develop character and story through the action - don't include it.

That's my rule of thumb.

[Fortean]

Details

In a short screenplay, I utilize a game of checkers to reflect the conflict between the protagonist and the antagonist, (who has a greater advantage). Each move on the checkerboard is detailed, according to an opening gambit and the final resolution to the game.

The young boy ponders his first move, for a moment, then responds with a white draught (23-19).

[dpaterso]

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I've been told by several readers that my tiddlywinks script is riveting. Using his favorite large red plastic disc, the one his father gave him before the drums called him to war, Fred lines up for the shot that will win him the game, and Wendy's love into the bargain. He flicks the small blue plastic disc into Diego's eye instead. Diego screams and collapses. The crowd goes wild.

-Derek
My web page - Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Horror - published fiction and WIPs.
Take the critiques you get with a grain of salt. Invariably, some of the critics will be kooks, bitter curmudgeons, or complete fools. ~odocoileus

[scripter1]

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You write what matters.

If something happens in the game that affects the whole story then you need to include it.

If it's just a sweet move but has nothing to do with advancing the plot then it should be skipped.

If you need the game to be happening in the background then you can write "The game goes on, blah blah blah."

If your characters are involved in the action then why would you not describe the game? Why have something in the script that isn't worth really getting into?

[Rex V]

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I posted this link a while back; I think it's worth another look:

http://johnaugust.com/archives/2005/...nwriting-style

(No, it doesn't directly answer your question, but it does suggest that there are no right or wrong answers to these types of style questions... that each writer has his/her own approach.)

[Rex V]

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Here's another good one (I love John August's blog):

http://johnaugust.com/archives/2003/action-writing

[vig]

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look at what i can do tony