Finding a solution.

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  • #16
    Re: Finding a solution.

    Originally posted by bcressey
    To answer your question more directly (I rewrote your dialogue slightly to emphasize certain points).

    Code:
                    MOTHER
            I'm so happy you're beginning to 
            remember your mother.
     
                    JARVIS
            I feel like I'm getting to know her
            for the first time.
    You say that Jarvis is doing the following:

    - avoiding a conversation about his family
    - not telling her he's her son
    - avoiding a paradox in the space-time continuum

    Well. He's not really avoiding the subject - he responds to the question with a playful remark that the audience gets as a joke and his mom interprets as agreement. So you have a bit of subtextual humor.

    He is avoiding the revelation that he's her son, so you also have the subtext of deception/misdirection.

    Maybe he's avoiding a paradox in the space-time continuum, but I'd hesitate to call that subtext.

    Imagine subtext as a really big wryly.

    Code:
                            JARVIS
                    (teasing his mom a bit)
            I feel like I'm getting to know her
            for the first time.
    Code:
                            JARVIS
                    (letting her believe 
                    that he's not her son)
            I feel like I'm getting to know her
            for the first time.
    Code:
                            JARVIS
                    (preventing the catastophic
                    ripple in the space-time
                    continuum that he fears)
            I feel like I'm getting to know her
            for the first time.
    Do you see how the third example is different from the first two? If he's really so preoccupied with paradoxes etc then those probably aren't the words he would say - because he comes very close to telling her outright (which is why the line works).

    The "MOTHER" dialogue is a good example of a line with no apparent subtext.

    Code:
                            MOTHER
                    (happy Jarvis remembers
                    his parents now)         
            I'm so happy you're beginning to 
            remember your mother.
    Basically the subtext is saying exactly what her dialogue says already.

    Imagine subtext as a really big wryly that is always longer than and different from the actual dialogue. Now write it without using the wryly.

    (Not because wrylies are "bad". Because if you can convey the subtext without them, they are superfluous.)
    All very interesting perceptions... I like the method of using it, and it does make a point clear either way... I will consume the thoughts and apply them. I think you hit the sub-text on the nose. Like I mentioned eariler about the options of what kind of sub-text. Now, to determine which one is the way I believe it should be elucidate...

    Mmmmmm ----
    D. Alin
    http://alinproduction.blogspot.com Sci-Fi/Fantasy (Basically) [Skype me at "Buyitpc" - I will surely love to talk!]

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