What I want to show is quick shots broken by the flickering BLACK SCREEN.
Yes? No? Any suggestions?
It's extremely sparse, I know. I fancy up the script on the re-writes. Besides the bland descriptions, should I be so direct to indicate that the SCREEN FLICKERS? Is there a trick to this?
On the quick shots, I followed the format when you write a montage. Does it flow? Or is there another way to write it smoother.
The SCREEN FLICKERS. In between, Clarus manages to see:
- Mary lies lifeless on top of the table.
- The suspect's eyes slowly shut. A bullet hole in his forehead. Bloodied curtain behind him.
- He dives across the table to grab the suspects arm, the one holding the knife.
- The dead boy’s empty stare fixed on Clarus.
CUT TO BLACK.
- Mary lies lifeless on top of the table.
- The suspect's eyes slowly shut. A bullet hole in his forehead. Bloodied curtain behind him.
- He dives across the table to grab the suspects arm, the one holding the knife.
- The dead boy’s empty stare fixed on Clarus.
CUT TO BLACK.
It's extremely sparse, I know. I fancy up the script on the re-writes. Besides the bland descriptions, should I be so direct to indicate that the SCREEN FLICKERS? Is there a trick to this?
On the quick shots, I followed the format when you write a montage. Does it flow? Or is there another way to write it smoother.
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