Perceived location vs. Actual location...how to write slugs/transitions?

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  • Perceived location vs. Actual location...how to write slugs/transitions?

    So, I am writing a short in which a young boy has an overactive imagination. When it starts we are in the boy's back yard with him, but when he looks around the corner of the house I want to indicate that what he sees is another location/time/experience (his fantasy), not the rest of his back yard.

    I tried it this way:

    EXT. BACK YARD - DAY

    A young boy, JOHN DOE (11), peers around the corner of his house.

    EXT. JOHN DOE'S POV - LARGE PARKING LOT - DAY

    Cars whip in and out of parking spaces.

    EXT. BACK YARD - DAY

    John pulls his head back, he picks up his book bag and walks around the corner.

    EXT. JOHN DOE'S POV - LARGE PARKING LOT - DAY

    etc. etc. etc.

    I was trying to find the right way to transition back and forth, does this work? Is there a better way? Am I even making any sense?

    Thanks for any help,
    Larry

  • #2
    Re: Perceived location vs. Actual location...how to write slugs/transitions?

    Could try something like...

    EXT. BACK YARD - DAY

    A young boy, JOHN DOE (11), peers around the corner of his house and sees --

    EXT. A LARGE PARKING LOT (FANTASY)

    Cars whip in and out of parking spaces.

    EXT. BACK YARD

    John pulls his head back, he picks up his book bag and walks around the corner.

    or

    EXT. BACK YARD - DAY

    A young boy, JOHN DOE (11), peers around the corner of his house and sees --

    A LARGE PARKING LOT (FANTASY)

    Cars whip in and out of parking spaces.

    BACK TO SCENE

    John pulls his head back, he picks up his book bag and walks around the corner.


    There are dozens, even hundreds of ways to write a scene like this. What's most important is clarity.

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