Character Descriptions: Emotions and Other States

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  • Character Descriptions: Emotions and Other States

    I've read conflicting opinions as to how I should describe my characters.

    On one hand, I've found advice that says to keep it simple. For example, when a character is tired, simply write:

    Joe looks tired.

    Avoid over-directing the actors. If the context and
    emotional state of the character is clear, the reader
    will fill in the rest. Let the actors decide the best
    way to physically convey what the character is
    feeling (e.g., "Joe's eyes dart back and forth.
    He takes a step forward and step back. He scratches
    his head and frowns- should simply read
    "Joe looks confused.-)
    On the other hand, I've also been advised to keep things visual, to include exactly those "directions" that the previous quotation says not to use. For example, when a character is tired, use an image to to show that he or she is tired:

    Joe slumps his shoulders and yawns.

    To me, the first takes up less space, while the second spices up the way I "see" a script. So, which is it, and why?



    Thanks.

  • #2
    Re: Character Descriptions: Emotions and Other States

    My writing naturally tends towards being the second; mostly I hear advice to be more like the first. The first usually, with seasoning and spice of the second, is what I strive for, give a "flavour" via the second without turning it into prose?

    Joe looks tired.
    To suggest the obvious, though, writing "Joe LOOKS tired" forces the reader to see it from a step removed (or through another character's eyes) ... either Joe IS tired or he APPEARS tired.

    Writing "looks" doesn't make it "visual" writing (you know that, from your second example) it just complicates the reader's imagination, perhaps?

    Anyway, my early stuff used to read like prose because I was describing what I saw up on my imaginary movie screen, and that was heavy reading.
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    • #3
      Re: Character Descriptions: Emotions and Other States

      Keep it shorter than a general Short Story describtion, but show the describtion. Write it of course, but no one really cares what color their flannel shirt is, unless there's something to show in the script.

      I've seen sceenwriters who like a little more than others, and I've seen the exact opposite. The latter keeps the page clean and, for me, is all I need. If you had the 5-sentence describtion memorized and you only had 2 seconds to describe that person to someone...got to get in and out(just my preference, but it makes me attentive and receptive to what's happening around the characters). You can use the other stuff, but there could a distracting something-or-other that breaks the chunks into parts....grabs me more to break more beef. 1st Act pacing of stuff like that, to me, I love it...even if it's a character study.

      Buildings/Settings are a little different. I like to see the details of the settings, because that's an even stronger atmospheric visual than most character descriptions, and is not something that breaks down as easy as characters. Charcter's socks and shoes? Bah; however, the veneer siding on a building and the window above it, man that can turnover into a many number of things in the next scene...suspense flicks for instance. You don't show the reader the building's features, yet still try to pull off the same suspenseful scene afterward...it's obvious to more than just a Director or Producer.

      We have a writer here that kicks a$$ in both in my opinion most of the time(from what I've read). My favorite femme writer on the site: sc111(well, one of the best for sure).
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      • #4
        Re: Character Descriptions: Emotions and Other States

        K.I.S.S.

        Keep It Simple Stupid

        Clarity and brevity should win every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

        This is not to say there shouldn't be an original voice present, but by default how one person strings a sentence together versus another IS their voice.

        An experienced writer's (and those who read a lot) voice will naturally sound more "mature" and complex than those who are the exact opposite.

        Like Tabula said there are little tricks to use that consciously force the reader to visualize images -- instead of just read them -- Like using appears for example. But you still want to be clear about what is happening and what you want to convey in a scene and how it will (can) translate to the screen.
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        • #5
          Re: Character Descriptions: Emotions and Other States

          To suggest the obvious, though, writing "Joe LOOKS tired" forces the reader to see it from a step removed (or through another character's eyes) ... either Joe IS tired or he APPEARS tired.
          Agree with this part.

          Joe YAWNS.

          Boom, in and out, same difference.
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