best way to format this scene??

[mtoomey Member Find all posts View Profile Close mtoomey]

I have Erica and Dan, who are dating. Erica is hispanic and she's bringing Dan to her niece's birthday party and introducing him to her large family for the first time. Basically I envision the dialogue something like this:

ERICA
This is my cousin Manuel

DAN
Nice to meet you.

MANUEL
Mucho gusto

ERICA
This my Aunt Rosa

DAN
Hello.

AUNT ROSA
mucho gusto


and so on..... It's a comedy script and the funny part of this scene is that Dan is meeting a crapload of cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. I could see two pages of "much gusto's" but I'm not sure if that's how I should write it. I could describe the scene in a couple paragraphs instead?

any comments?

thanks
m.toomey

[velysai Member Find all posts View Profile Close velysai]

Re: best way to format this scene??

Lots of possible ways to go here. Are we ever going to see or hear from any of these people you're introducing once this scene is over?

[mtoomey Member Find all posts View Profile Close mtoomey]

Re: best way to format this scene??

nope, they won't be heard from again.

[wcmartell Member Find all posts View Profile Close wcmartell]

Re: best way to format this scene??

If that's the joke, go for the joke. I'd keep it at a page, though. There's a point where we get the joke... and I'd *add* to the joke. Escalate it.

- Bill

[Signal30 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Signal30]

Re: best way to format this scene??

Personally, I'd go with succinct and after the first introduction try something like:

Dan is introduced to the rest of the family, a gauntlet of "Mucho Gustos".

Although I suppose you could go with a montage.

[mtoomey Member Find all posts View Profile Close mtoomey]

Re: best way to format this scene??

good tips, thanks all.

m.toomey

[altoption Member Find all posts View Profile Close altoption]

Re: best way to format this scene??

Write it so it's funny on the page.