One of my scripts is complete and tidied up quite nicely, I think, except for one important scene. My problem is that the scene as I have written it is just too darn cliche.
The female lead wants her outlaw lover to put up his guns, quit drinking, and lead a "normal" life. He resists saying the whiskey eases his pain and his reputation won't let him put up the guns. (He does, anyway - for a while, but that's later.)
I had her saying something similar to, "Everyone has pain. You play the cards you've been dealt and get on with life."
WAY too cliche.
I tried, "Stop with the self pity", or "Stop feeling sorry for yourself". Same problem, and boring too.
Anybody want to help me out of this? Bill Martell, what's your magic cure for bland dialog and no imagination?
Don't think of this 'play as a western, think of it as a drama, romance happening in 1880's.
Thanks,
Bill Marquardt
The female lead wants her outlaw lover to put up his guns, quit drinking, and lead a "normal" life. He resists saying the whiskey eases his pain and his reputation won't let him put up the guns. (He does, anyway - for a while, but that's later.)
I had her saying something similar to, "Everyone has pain. You play the cards you've been dealt and get on with life."
WAY too cliche.
I tried, "Stop with the self pity", or "Stop feeling sorry for yourself". Same problem, and boring too.
Anybody want to help me out of this? Bill Martell, what's your magic cure for bland dialog and no imagination?
Don't think of this 'play as a western, think of it as a drama, romance happening in 1880's.
Thanks,
Bill Marquardt
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