to reiterate
it is an early scene - the 4th, in fact, as i said above... and the first
the first two are in the present, followed by 95% of the rest of the script in the previous 4 weeks, followed by a couple of wrap up scenes back in the present
the 3rd scene (as in the one before the boardroom) is my hero playing poker with the boys and getting tanked - hence the late arrival at the office the next day
we know nothing of the boss - it is the first time we have seen him and likely will see him once more only, 40pages or so down the line, when he fires the hero's as.s
this scene is a character defining scene, attitude, ego and the basis for it, and a foreshadowing of work problems/job loss to come regardless of how valuable he is to the firm
so as brief as gig recommends doesn't work, tho i did get an idea from her (synapse fired!) as to how i could shorten it a little
so anyway, the simple question:
-------------question is here
in the 'action' parts of the scene, how best to detail the boss slamming hand on table, getting up to get a coffee, returning to his chair? should i say just that?
i know it is boring action, but i ask because it is a dialog intensive scene (tho still only a couple of pages long) and i am trying to follow the advice which dictates that long stretches of dialog be broken with action
-----------end of question
amazing how a bunch of writers that we are do not really read what has been written before answering the questions asked... i don't feel that writing the whole scene in my post is needed to get the feel of what i am talking about -
and i do appreciate the input and attempts at help - but no one has really answered the core question i have asked
thanx again
it is an early scene - the 4th, in fact, as i said above... and the first
the first two are in the present, followed by 95% of the rest of the script in the previous 4 weeks, followed by a couple of wrap up scenes back in the present
the 3rd scene (as in the one before the boardroom) is my hero playing poker with the boys and getting tanked - hence the late arrival at the office the next day
we know nothing of the boss - it is the first time we have seen him and likely will see him once more only, 40pages or so down the line, when he fires the hero's as.s
this scene is a character defining scene, attitude, ego and the basis for it, and a foreshadowing of work problems/job loss to come regardless of how valuable he is to the firm
so as brief as gig recommends doesn't work, tho i did get an idea from her (synapse fired!) as to how i could shorten it a little
so anyway, the simple question:
-------------question is here
in the 'action' parts of the scene, how best to detail the boss slamming hand on table, getting up to get a coffee, returning to his chair? should i say just that?
i know it is boring action, but i ask because it is a dialog intensive scene (tho still only a couple of pages long) and i am trying to follow the advice which dictates that long stretches of dialog be broken with action
-----------end of question
amazing how a bunch of writers that we are do not really read what has been written before answering the questions asked... i don't feel that writing the whole scene in my post is needed to get the feel of what i am talking about -
and i do appreciate the input and attempts at help - but no one has really answered the core question i have asked
thanx again
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