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  • Daydreaming

    Im hoping for some helpful advice but failing that just venting my frustations will hopefully help.

    Im trying to write a short film about a guy who is too shy to talk to girls, so instead he daydreams about them.... What could happen if only he went over and said hello. Of course, his mind he is a stud and there would come the humour and the entertainment because he is far from that.

    I had the idea that he could be walking around and on a few occasions a girl grabs his attention and it goes into a fantasy sequence of him somehow meeting her and her taking a liking towards him.

    However I decided this idea wasnt going to work, because without any clear goal there wouldnt be any conflict, and basicly what ive got is a movie about a guy randomly walking around and daydreaming. So I came to the conclusion that it would have one to be one single girl he likes be is too shy to talk to, and then daydreams about her. That way theres a clearly defined goal (the girl) and a clear conflict (him being too shy to talk to that girl).

    But even now Im struggling to come up with any sort of structure to the film. Although Ive got a goal sorted out for my protagonist the movie still feels like a bunch of random daydreams and has no arching plot, no structure.

    Im aiming to get the peice in under 10 minutes in length so I feel I need some sort of framing device into the short as well. Something thats going to help establish the fact this guy is shy, likes this girl, and then explains how, or why he decides to finaly go talk to her. (Because is the ending at the moment is that he eventually does pluck up the courage).

    Has anyone ever written a piece made up with lots of daydreaming sequences and can give me some advice how to include them without them being random little moments with no driving purpose?

    Or maybe someone can come up with advice from the brief description of my project Ive given here.

  • #2
    The base of your idea is nothing new. It is almost cliched. But it doesn't mean you can't do something new with it.

    One thing to try, although this too is cliched, is to, in the end, show that the girl also has the same shyness problem, and she too fantasizes about going up to him, or wishing he would come to her.

    Something like that.


    • #3
      My 2 cents: from my experience, Hollywood hates dream sequences and extended flashbacks. The few times I've used either I've been warned off by one of my managers (who has a lot of experience in prodco development) to take it out chop-chop.


      • #4
        Maybe they both see eacthor somewhere (park, restaurant, bus stop, whatever)

        After you showing him dreaming about it several times, you have him finally say to himself, "Okay, Im gonna do it." So he goes up to her and it's all romantic and beautiful and they kiss.

        But you show that that was actually her fantasy. And it ends with the both of them not having the guts to do anything, and they walk away, never creating what might have been.


        • #5
          What are you trying to say with this short film idea?


          • #6
            If each dream highlighted a different challenge he would have to overcome, then this could be another way of showing the different flaws he has to his shy character, as ofc you can be shy in many ways (although if enough to make a film out of, im not sure;P).

            The cliched issue with the daydreaming is probably an issue, also they can be really annoying unless they are seamless, maybe its worth thinking about blurring the lines of reality?

            I think this kind of concept could only work in a romantic comedy, if it all.


            • #7
              "Play It Again, Sam" Stage play by Woody Allen, starring Allen and Diane Keaton. Also the film based on the play.

              The "too shy" thing doesn't work because it isn't active. Woody Allen made the character inept at getting women so the character would be more active (and funnier).


              • #8
                A Twist

                What I think would be great is turning it into a "Be careful of your wishes."

                A shy guy dreams of having beautiful women desiring him.

                Suddenly, beautiful women are after him..EVERYWHERE.

                He finds them naked in his bed and in his shower. His phone won't stop ringing. He can't stop in McDonald's for a burger without beautiful woman coming onto him.

                He goes to the bank to cash a check and the beautiful teller cannot concentrate on the transaction because she is too busy unbuttoning her blouse for him.

                A boyfriend of a beautiful woman wants to kick his ass because the accompanying girlfriend becomes suddenly and publicly lustful of this stranger.

                The shy guy's life becomes a total nightmare.


                • #9
                  Re: A Twist


                  I think it is very important that you are very clear about the protagâ€TMs dramatic need here. About his or her goal!

                  For a long time I have wanted to make a black comedy about a shy guyâ€TMs sexual need which is in conflict with his girlfriends â€disapproval†and his own problems with discussing the matter.

                  He loves his girlfriend and respects her, but he has a certain need he wants to fulfill (have fulfilled).

                  She has her plans for their relationship which he also agrees on, but he feels that it is all about her plans, her need and about her â€self-fulfilmentâ€. He thinks â€Does she loves me or does she only loves herself being with meâ€.

                  He mention his needs sometimes, but he feels that the situation never changes, so he reach a point where he understands that the only way to really change the situation is to talk about it seriously to make her understand how he really feels.

                  His needs have become almost an obsession, so he goes in to the discussion with a clear vision of her reaction and gets angry with her almost directly only because he wants her (for once) to understand how HE feels.

                  Of course this soon leads to a quarrel and nothing really changes at all â€" so he decides to break up with her even though he still loves her. He tells his friend that he cannot continue a relationship with a girl who only sees what she wants. Thatâ€TMs how he really thinks it is.

                  Heâ€TMs depressed by the fact that the relationship is over, but he has to move on and find a girlfriend who can see his sexual need, but at the same time has an own will.

                  Totally clear in mind of what he (thinks he) wants he starts his â€old life†again, which means going out with friends and looking for girls (but this time with a focus what he wants to achieve (or thinks he knows at least)).

                  Of course things doesnâ€TMt work the way he wants. He still have problems discussing his needs and when he finally meets a girl who fulfills his needs there are other things he is missing.

                  He realizes that he is missing his girlfriend, her ways/manners, and all their great moments together.

                  He wants her back and now this is his need and goal. They meet each other on a new level, where they have to discuss certain matters - like goals in life, whatâ€TMs important, how to â€give and take†and most importantly to listen to the other personâ€TMs needs and â€inner†feelings.

                  Whether she fulfills his sexual need is not so important (itâ€TMs just a tough issue which concerns many people). It is communication and discussing feelings and needs which might be hard to discuss, but things you have to discuss because you cannot continue discussing them with yourself.

                  I want to show both the guyâ€TMs point of view and the girlâ€TMs point of view â€" and that there are no right or wrong, except that he is right as well as she is right. â€People are people†we all think differently in certain aspects and it is important to really know each other to continue feeling happy both with yourself and the one you love.

                  Something like that…



                  • #10
                    Re: A Twist

                    I saw a Jean Paul Belmondo (French language) movie like this. He was a writer of James Bond esque books who, while writing, pictured himself as the super spy type. He then falls madly in love with a woman next door and builds her into his dreams, but the real life interaction is always a disaster. I'm a bit hazy as I saw it once, fifteen years ago, in Brussles.

                    What I think would be great is turning it into a "Be careful of your wishes."

                    A shy guy dreams of having beautiful women desiring him.

                    Suddenly, beautiful women are after him..EVERYWHERE.

                    He finds them naked in his bed and in his shower. His phone won't stop ringing. He can't stop in McDonald's for a burger without beautiful woman coming onto him.
                    Buffy did an episode like this, with Xander getting a witch to do a love spell that then backfired and made his life hell.