First of all, I'd just like to say hi to everyone and that I just recently disocovered this board - and I hope to contribute as much as possible in the future. Great forum, by the way.
I'm currently writing a spec script with a friend of mine. At the end of our script, it's revealed that the enitre story was just that - a story. Our main character has been recounting the last month or so of his life to a class of high school kids. This is pivotal to both our story and our main character's development.
Now I know when writing a spec the use of voice overs is some what looked down upon (if handled poorly) and I don't want it to come off like we're trying to go the cheap route and TELL some of our characters thoughts rather than SHOW them. But since this is a "story" being told, I figured it almost necessary to at least hint at that our main character is narrating every so often, so when we get to the end it's not like, "oh yeah, this was all a story."
We have the voice overs placed randomly and use them only minimally. So, to my original question: Under the circumstances, is OK to go this route and have these voice overs as long as they serve a purpose - OR - should we go the route of Ferris Bueller and the Alfie remake and have our main character talk to the audience every so often - like he's talking to the "class" but still in these moments (I'm guessing the latter may not go over well with this being a spec script and all).
An example from our script (We used "ED'S VOICE" as opposed to "ED (V.O.)"):
____________________________________
"As Ed finally brings his car to a lull, so goes his performance. It doesnâ€TMt need an audience. Instead, he finds himself a member of one.
EDâ€TMS VOICE
In our daily commutes, there is not a more tempting curiosity than to glance at the driver in the car next to us.
Ed eases his gaze to the left. Casually obvious.
EDâ€TMS VOICE
And there is not a more impulsive hope than for this person to be an attractive member of the opposite sex.
A glance and a look away. A little too long on the former.
EDâ€TMS VOICE
And if this hope is rewarded...
He canâ€TMt help but look back.
EDâ€TMS VOICE
... there is not a more whimsical desire than to want something more to come of this glance.
Singing her heart out in a black â€-67 Mustang, is more than just a beautiful face..."
____________________________________
Or would this work with Ed sitting in his car, talking to the audience while he performed these actions? Or are both ways just detracting?
I would really appreciate the feedback and sorry for the long first post.
Thanks!
- Ted
I'm currently writing a spec script with a friend of mine. At the end of our script, it's revealed that the enitre story was just that - a story. Our main character has been recounting the last month or so of his life to a class of high school kids. This is pivotal to both our story and our main character's development.
Now I know when writing a spec the use of voice overs is some what looked down upon (if handled poorly) and I don't want it to come off like we're trying to go the cheap route and TELL some of our characters thoughts rather than SHOW them. But since this is a "story" being told, I figured it almost necessary to at least hint at that our main character is narrating every so often, so when we get to the end it's not like, "oh yeah, this was all a story."
We have the voice overs placed randomly and use them only minimally. So, to my original question: Under the circumstances, is OK to go this route and have these voice overs as long as they serve a purpose - OR - should we go the route of Ferris Bueller and the Alfie remake and have our main character talk to the audience every so often - like he's talking to the "class" but still in these moments (I'm guessing the latter may not go over well with this being a spec script and all).
An example from our script (We used "ED'S VOICE" as opposed to "ED (V.O.)"):
____________________________________
"As Ed finally brings his car to a lull, so goes his performance. It doesnâ€TMt need an audience. Instead, he finds himself a member of one.
EDâ€TMS VOICE
In our daily commutes, there is not a more tempting curiosity than to glance at the driver in the car next to us.
Ed eases his gaze to the left. Casually obvious.
EDâ€TMS VOICE
And there is not a more impulsive hope than for this person to be an attractive member of the opposite sex.
A glance and a look away. A little too long on the former.
EDâ€TMS VOICE
And if this hope is rewarded...
He canâ€TMt help but look back.
EDâ€TMS VOICE
... there is not a more whimsical desire than to want something more to come of this glance.
Singing her heart out in a black â€-67 Mustang, is more than just a beautiful face..."
____________________________________
Or would this work with Ed sitting in his car, talking to the audience while he performed these actions? Or are both ways just detracting?
I would really appreciate the feedback and sorry for the long first post.
Thanks!
- Ted
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