Vertical Writing

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  • Vertical Writing

    Ladies and Gentlemen, there has been a lot of talk about my writing style and how I like to break each piece of action into its own separate line...

    Well seems my style has caught on in many areas and it is more acceptable than others! And it's even got its own name - "Veritcal Writing" As I've said before, keep doing something long enough and people will either copy you, or make up something of their own that's even more outregeous.

    Fortunately, this has become a style that is recieving acceptability, so I think I'll just keep on doing it!

    Here's what Charles Deemer says of this style:
    screenwritersutopia.com/modules.php?name=Content&pa=showpage&pid=2698

    Hollywood loves buzzwords, and one of the latest is "vertical," as in make your screenplays vertical. Like many buzzwords, this one is based on a fundamental truism: it is easier to read a manuscript that is "vertical" with lots of white space on the page than one that has great text density.

    ...who is going to read your screenplay the first time around? A harried reader, believe me. Readers are over-worked and under-paid. Trust me, I've been one. They also get paid by the script. Does this invite a slow, careful reading? Of course not. Their job is to fill out a form about the story -- called coverage -- and the more quickly they can read a script, the happier they are. Screenplays that invite vertical reading are loved by readers. In contrast, text-dense scripts requiring horizontal reading start out with one or two strikes against them...

    Let me reinforce the point with an example. Here is a scene from one of my students:

    Derek is walking across campus. All over, there are students reading copies of the official campus newspaper and Derek's magazine. One girl, ANNA KABIS, is laughing hysterically. She is young and beautiful.Derek stops and stares at her. A friend of Anna's is reading over her shoulder, a look of shock on her face.

    This snippet has much to recommend it. The writing is clear and direct. But this is not vertical writing. Let's open up the text:

    Derek is walking across campus.

    All over, there are students reading copies of the official campus newspaper and Derek's magazine.

    One girl, ANNA KABIS, is laughing hysterically. She is young and beautiful.

    Derek stops and stares at her.

    A friend of Anna's is reading over her shoulder, a look of shock on her face.

    Notice how much easier this is to read quickly, to skim. Believe me, readers skim your script before anyone reads it carefully! This is, in contemporary jargon, a much more user-friendly version of the exact same language.
    This is vertical writing."
    Now if you look at one example of one of mine, you'll see similarities - albeit, my script may not be the best, but we're talking vertical writing, not writing ability.
    Code:
      
                   EXT. BROOKHOUSE COMPOUND - DAY
    
                   An expansive fenced complex, stoic ivy covered buildings dot the landscape. Its lush
                   rolling hills of green, weave up and through a golf course, rows of tennis courts and man
                   made lakes.
    
                   STONE PATHWAYS, lead to BRICK STEPS, which continue,
    
                   UP, to DOUBLE DOORS 
    
                   -- a gold lettered, wood trimmed plaque on one, reads,
    
                   BROOKHOUSE ACADEMY. Underneath, in small black letters, "Center for Cognitive
                   Readjustment."
    
                   INT. CLASS ROOM - DAY
    
                   Sun rays through a four paned window, shine on a desk in back, burn the neck of
                   SQUIRE DIXON, (17) small and squirrelly, his head down on his arms.  
    
                   The instructor, JACK DENARD, (39) "the old man," solid rock, knowing eyes, a touch
                   of grey at his temples, notices Squire's hand move, to rub his neck.
    
                                       JACK
                             ...the novelty being, space and time are static.  Isn't
                             that right Mr. Dixon?
    
                   Squire caught off guard, raises his head, looks around at the curious faces.
    
                                       SQUIRE
                             Actually sir, the novelty lies in the probability that
                             it isn't. Factored with the analysis of subjective
                             quantum theory, your explanation would seem
                             flawed.
    
                   Squire checks his watch. A dizzying array of compact gadgetry on his arm. It is apparent,
                   he would rather be somewhere else.
    
                                       JACK
                             Your theory being, that space and time can change
                             direction?
    
                                       SQUIRE
                             Danny said--
    
                                       JACK
                             Ahh! Our other elusive genius! One sleeps, the
                             other conveniently, not present.
    
                                       SQUIRE
                             They... he, had to finish some homework.
    
                   EXT. UNFINISHED HIGHWAY OVERPASS - DAY
    
                   TWO COBRA VIPERS, one red one black with a white stripe, the other all black speed
                   toward a break in the bridge's construction. The gap closing as fast as the cars.
    
                   Tires rip pavement, smoke and gravel flies as they shoot ever closer to the -- 
    
                   Fifty foot jump -- a hundred foot drop if missed, the cars roar by at blinding speed.
    
                   INT. BLACK VIPER - DAY
    
                   DANNY GALUCCI (20's) dark eyed, over confident, flashes a wink as his car spits
                   past, 
    
                   INT. RED VIPER - DAY
    
                   JULES (JEWEL) CARTER (16) spiked hair, nervous shifty eyes, flips off the passing
                   car -- shifts gear, slams gas -- speeds up.
    
                   SCREECH OF TIRES -- Danny rockets ahead, first to the edge.
    
                   DANNY JUMPS THE GAP.
    
                   EXT. OTHER SIDE OF BRIDGE
    
                   Danny's car lands and skids around, his tires burn and smoke, as his vehicle slides to a
                   halt ten feet past the jumped expanse.
    
                   EXT. HIGHWAY BRIDGE END
    
                   Jewel's Viper shoots off the bridge, right after him.
    
                   VIPER SEEMS IN SLOW MOTION AS IT SKYROCKETS TOWARD THE OTHER
                   SIDE.
    
                   STRAIGHT TOWARD THE BRIDGE'S EDGE
    
                   INT. RED VIPER
    
                   Jewel adjusts his watch.
    
                   EXT. BETWEEN THE BRIDGE GAP
    
                   THE VIPER, SECONDS BEFORE --  IT HITS THE BRIDGE EDGE -- BURST INTO
                   A BLINDING FLASH.
    
                   Danny on the other side, runs to look over the bridge edge.
    
                   LOUD heavy THUMP -- SCREECH OF BRAKES.
    
                   BRIDGE WAY - BEHIND DANNY
    
                   The red Viper screeches to a halt. A proud Jewel jumps out arms raised, pleased with
                   himself.
    
                   Danny turns back, angered at this display.
    
                                       DANNY
                             Cheater! That's not fair!
    
                                       JEWEL
                             I not only proved my theory, but kicked your ass
                             doing it!
    sorry how the formatting came out. It was the long text from the acticle, I guess.

  • #2
    "Well seems my style has caught on in many areas and it is more acceptable than others! And it's even got its own name - "Veritcal Writing" As I've said before, keep doing something long enough and people will either copy you, or make up something of their own that's even more outregeous."

    :lol do you really believe you started this trend?

    read walter hill's "the killer". "vertical writing" or whatever people want to call it, has been around for decades.

    Comment


    • #3
      :lol

      Comment


      • #4
        YOU HAVE GOT TO BE ****IN KIDDING ME!!


        Shouldn't you be at Weezie's funeral?

        Comment


        • #5
          Queen of denial

          Pretty good, keep it up, be the leader.

          -Derek
          -----------------------
          The bullet SLAMS Eddie in the head.
          He drops the gun and the Woman.
          Blown backward on to a seat --
          The Woman falls to the floor --
          Her body constricts.
          Shock.
          Convulsions.
          Coronary.
          ~Walter Hill's THE KILLER

          Comment


          • #6
            Doesn't that come across as "padding?"

            Don't get me wrong, I like the way it reads. I often employee the same technique with action scenes.

            It's just that it seems that an entire screenplay consisting of paragraphs broken into seperate lines/ sentences would have a really strange page count.

            :evil

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Doesn't that come across as "padding?"

              WP,

              I thought you were going to tell us that you now do all your writing while standing.

              I don't remember anybody trashing your writing because it was vertical. I thought they trashed it because you put things in there like "rolling hills of green weaving up and through...rows of tennis courts".

              Remind me never to play at your tennis resort.

              Comment


              • #8
                vertical writing

                To us newbies,
                whatever WritePro says
                is gospel.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Doesn't that come across as "padding?"

                  No, I never said I made it up - I just now have a name for what I do.

                  And yes, I do elucidate some things too much. But as far as the "each action separate line," before this article, it would have been considered "padding," as some did say.

                  ...and around here, half the time I do feel like I'm standing...

                  on my head.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Doesn't that come across as "padding?"

                    WP--

                    Stop celebrating and learn how to properly use a comma (,) and a period (.) and then you will be cooking with fire. Vertical or horizontal, writing ain't much without proper punctuation.

                    MIB - you are way funny.

                    theturnaround

                    *edited to add. See 'action stacking,' in screenwriting dictionary or in some Trottier book.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Doesn't that come across as "padding?"

                      I may not have invented Vertical Writing, but...

                      I am responsible for the crop circles...

                      Winter in New York

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Doesn't that come across as "padding?"

                        bobby, you're ****in so insane, you make Hitler look like Gandhi.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Doesn't that come across as "padding?"

                          No, I never said I made it up - I just now have a name for what I do.
                          Dude, many of us here have a had a name for what you do for quite some time now.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Doesn't that come across as "padding?"

                            "...you make Hitler look like Gandhi."
                            Damn! Was http://smilies.jeeptalk.org/contrib/edoom/throwup.gifthat really necessary?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Doesn't that come across as "padding?"

                              WP, this caught my eye:

                              TWO COBRA VIPERS, one red one black with a white stripe, the other all black speed
                              toward a break in the bridge's construction. The gap closing as fast as the cars.


                              ...so there are actually three cars -- the first red, the second black with a white stripe, and the third black? That's what it says. I'm also not sure what "The gap closing as fast as the cars" means, it's the kind of ambiguous statement that makes a reader stop, rewind, reread, and worry about what's going on (the gap is closing fast on the cars? but they're closing fast on the gap? isn't that saying the same thing twice?). This is your trademark, extra words that don't add anything but instead confuse your reader.

                              If your style was vertical, which it isn't, you'd maybe have written:

                              TWO COBRA VIPERS race side by side.
                              One red with a white stripe, the other black.
                              Both burning rubber, jostling for position.
                              UP AHEAD: the ragged end of the incomplete bridge.
                              Certain death.
                              The drivers don't even think about slowing.


                              It's about short, sweet one-liner visuals instead of the normal full-width action paragraphs. While I try to limit my action paragraphs to a neat 3 or 4 lines, hopefully making for an easy read, I'd maybe limit these vertical paragraphs to 5 or 6 lines. Who knows, the style may suit you, but I don't think it is your style, not yet anyway.

                              The above of course being my humble opinion, I am not a professional screenwriter.

                              -Derek
                              -----------------------
                              One of the many reasons you should never listen to dpat ~PipeWriter

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