I finished my first script earlier in the week, a family-action-comedy, and just received notes from a paid consultant. For me, personally, the experience was well worth the investment. The review was positive in pointing out numerous strengths, including a confession of surprise that the script's premise could be that entertaining. The review was also constructive in pointing out problems of too many small conflicts and too many characters.
However, the consultant's harshest and longest criticism focused on the absence of a romantic relationship between the male and female lead characters--Bob and Jane. Their relationship is basically professional--he helps her win a championship. Yes, Jane is attracted to him not only because of his looks and talent, but he also literally saved the family cat. And yes, Bob likes to flirt and hints of a having a crush on her best friend. But he has a romantic interest back home, and when Jane discovers that relationship she breaks off the professional agreement. In the end, Bob does help Jane win the championship and Bob's girl from home saves the life of Jane's sister. In a closing scene, Jane handles a meeting between the three with class and maturity--a significant point in her arc. Earlier she is sarcastic and downright angry when Bob is around any other female. I felt this was a positive message for a family movie.
In the beginning I believed a romantic relationship would be predictable between the two. If that had been the story, I envisioned the first reader's response to be in the tone of: "Boy meets girl, boy helps girl win championship, girl kisses boy and they ride off into the sunset together--how many times have we seen that before?" I didn't want an involved love story getting in the way of the action and humor--which are the main selling points of this family script. I think back to my early childhood watching some movies and asking, "When's this mushy stuff going to be over?"
Is a romantic relationship necessary between male and female lead characters in this genre? If so, when does it become cliche? More important, how do you avoid it from becoming cliche? Can't the writer just have fun with romantic tension? I thought "Moonlightling" and the first couple seasons of "Cheers" displayed outstanding writing because of romantic tension.
Eager to hear thoughts.
However, the consultant's harshest and longest criticism focused on the absence of a romantic relationship between the male and female lead characters--Bob and Jane. Their relationship is basically professional--he helps her win a championship. Yes, Jane is attracted to him not only because of his looks and talent, but he also literally saved the family cat. And yes, Bob likes to flirt and hints of a having a crush on her best friend. But he has a romantic interest back home, and when Jane discovers that relationship she breaks off the professional agreement. In the end, Bob does help Jane win the championship and Bob's girl from home saves the life of Jane's sister. In a closing scene, Jane handles a meeting between the three with class and maturity--a significant point in her arc. Earlier she is sarcastic and downright angry when Bob is around any other female. I felt this was a positive message for a family movie.
In the beginning I believed a romantic relationship would be predictable between the two. If that had been the story, I envisioned the first reader's response to be in the tone of: "Boy meets girl, boy helps girl win championship, girl kisses boy and they ride off into the sunset together--how many times have we seen that before?" I didn't want an involved love story getting in the way of the action and humor--which are the main selling points of this family script. I think back to my early childhood watching some movies and asking, "When's this mushy stuff going to be over?"
Is a romantic relationship necessary between male and female lead characters in this genre? If so, when does it become cliche? More important, how do you avoid it from becoming cliche? Can't the writer just have fun with romantic tension? I thought "Moonlightling" and the first couple seasons of "Cheers" displayed outstanding writing because of romantic tension.
Eager to hear thoughts.
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