Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

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  • Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

    Sort of like someone talking, while they are 'flashforwarding' to the thing they're talking about happening later at another location, like in a heist story. But not necessarily really flashforwarding at all, just a visual representation of what the person is saying at the secondary location - which calls for new sluglines of course.

    Does this make sense?

    Thanks
    It's the eye of the Tiger, it's the thrill of the fight

  • #2
    Re: Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

    Couldn't you just use VO's and Slugs.

    Code:
    INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY
     
    Manny sits across from Dexter and Cal, his hands moving a mile a minute as he lays out the plan.
     
    MANNY
    Okay. So this is what we do.
     
    EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
     
    Manny, Dexter, and Cal walk in SLOW MOTION toward a Best Buy.
     
    MANNY (V.O.)
    We simply walk in.
     
    INT. BEST BUY - DAY
     
    Manny holds up a new video game to show the guys.
     
    MANNY (V.O.)
    Get the game.
     
    The guys nod in approval.
     
    INT. MANNY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
     
    The guys playing their new video game.
     
    MANNY (V.O.)
    And waste an entire night of our lives.
     
    INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY
     
    Manny waits for Dexter and Cal to say something.
     
    MANNY
    Well?
    Something like that? Did that work?

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

      That's what I have at the moment. It's just, do I put something in those slugs like 'flashforward' not that it is a flashforward. But you know, something to indicate we haven't physically shifted from the other scene yet.
      It's the eye of the Tiger, it's the thrill of the fight

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

        I can't say yes or no. My gut tells me no. I think there's an inherent implication in it that suggests it's not happening. Something subtle. Maybe the VO on the nose with the action or something. An "all the parts of the whole" sort of thing without adding too much to the basic structure.

        I'd get what was going on, but somebody else might not I suppose.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

          There's no VO in mine. I could probably go with a FLASHCUT: type of insert shots, but that would imply they're only flashcuts, when they're a bit longer.
          It's the eye of the Tiger, it's the thrill of the fight

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

            No VO does make it a tougher nut, with nothing to jerk the viewer/reader enough to suggest this is not happening.

            Just out of curiosity, how will this be cued to the movie watcher? A transition cue works for a reader, but what about the watcher.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

              They would know after the first one when it cuts back and the character is still talking in the same location. And it cuts again, and then back again. The first cutaway is very short, a flashcut really, and the next a little longer. It works.
              It's the eye of the Tiger, it's the thrill of the fight

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

                I think Chad has the right idea, Jules. You don't have to write "this is a flashjump". Just write it, like Chad did, and you'll be okay.
                "A screenwriter is much like being a fire hydrant with a bunch of dogs lined up around it.- -Frank Miller

                "A real writer doesn't just want to write; a real writer has to write." -Alan Moore

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Advice formatting a scene with cutaways to other locations?

                  Thanks guys.
                  It's the eye of the Tiger, it's the thrill of the fight

                  Comment

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